Loved and Lost, or Never At All?
by ishandahalf
Summary: ROMY – We examine whether it is better to have loved and lost, or never loved at all. Rogue wiped Remy from her mind. He retaliated by erasing her too. Maybe you can remove someone from your mind, but are they ever truly gone from your heart? COMPLETE!
1. Echoes

**Disclaimer:** Must we go through this _again_? You _know_ I don't own the X-Men! Do you have to keep rubbing it in my face?

**A/N:** Ishandahalfarianites unite! That's right, here you are, a brand spankin' new fic. And not just a little one-shot either! This is the real deal right here, people. I'm talking _epic_. Well, maybe. The point is, it's gonna be a long fic. It starts off kinda slow, but that's necessary… To establish "mood" and all that fun stuff. It gets better, I swear! Watching a certain movie inspired me – I really don't wanna give it away, cuz that might ruin the plot surprises… But on a completely unrelated topic, go see 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'! Now _that _is a great movie.

Well anyhoo, this is gonna be one hell of a ride! So get comfortable, and off we go! Oh wait – did everybody go to the bathroom ahead of time? Cuz we're not stopping halfway through! Okay, good. Wait, does everybody have their seatbelts on? Alright. _Now_ we're ready. Onward!

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**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 1 - Echoes**

_"Footfalls echo in the memory  
Down the passage which we did not take  
Towards the door we never opened  
Into the rose-garden.  
My words echo  
Thus, in your mind."_  
- _T.S. Eliot_

Rogue's eyelids began to flutter as she slowly woke up. She tried to fight it, rolling over and burying her head into her pillow, determined to go back to sleep. It didn't work. She laid there with her eyes still closed, although her mind was now fully alert. She really didn't want to get up.

The ability to fall back to sleep now would have been a blessing for her. Despite going to bed early and sleeping in late, she was still exhausted. Rogue didn't quite understand it – it was as if instead of sleeping the entire night, her mind was buzzing around the whole time. It had been like this for weeks now, and it made her wonder. She supposed she couldn't complain – she didn't have nightmares anymore. But then again, she didn't think she had any dreams either.

She sighed. All this thinking wouldn't help. Taking a deep breath, she instead tried to unwind and clear her mind, but found she couldn't do that either. She could easily rid herself of any thoughts, envision a blank slate, but it was like there was still something there, buried deeper beneath it all. Maybe something small tugging at the back of her mind? It was… disconcerting.

With an aggravated grunt, Rogue gave up on that and opened her eyes. Blinking a few times to adjust to the bright light, she could see it was gorgeous outside – blue skies, fluffy white clouds, birds singing, a stereotypical summer's day. Wonderful.

She didn't feel like getting out of bed, beautiful day or not. She felt like cocooning herself up in her blankets and letting them envelop her. What was wrong with her? There had to be something… It was like she had absolutely no motivation to get out of bed anymore. Not that she had exactly been gung-ho before, but her mood was never this apathetic. Why now? Things were going well for her – no recent fights, no recent betrayals… She was happy now.

Right?

Questioning herself made Rogue worry even more. Why would she do that? Her life was going smoothly, for once. She had friends, family, hell, she even had a boyfriend! So, what was wrong? She couldn't pin it down. There was that feeling again… What was it? Unhappiness? No… Sadness? No…

'Dammit, what th' hell's wrong with meh?' she wondered. '_Is_ there somethin' wrong with meh?'

Shaking her head vigorously, she tried to forget it, push it away. Time to get up and face the day – but first, she needed to vent. Reaching under her bed, Rogue pulled out her journal. It had been a while since she had written in it, but she had been busy. Flipping through it, she came to the last page that had scribblings on it and looked at the date.

'Huh, over a year ago? Wow, guess Ah haven't written fo' longer than Ah thought.'

She looked at the few pages she had written in, and then at the multitude of blank ones following them. Wait… There it was, that feeling. That's what it was – emptiness.

'Why th' hell would Ah be feelin' empty? Mah life ain't empty…'

Rogue didn't understand it, but that was clearly what the feeling was. She was vacant. Bare. A void. But… Was she? Suddenly, she couldn't stand staring at the blank page any longer. Grabbing a pen, she began to doodle randomly, anything to fill up the paper. There, it wasn't empty anymore.

Slamming her journal shut, she tossed it back under her bed and stood up. There was that motivation now – time to prove to herself that she was wrong. She wasn't empty. That was just ridiculous.

She went to her closet and threw on a pair of black jeans and her purple long-sleeved shirt. Walking over to her mirror, she brushed her two-toned hair, and then began to apply her dark eye shadow and lipstick. Looking in the reflection, she could see her roommate stirring behind her.

"Mornin'," Rogue greeted.

"Hi Rogue," answered Kitty, stretching much like her namesake. She collapsed back on her bed for a few minutes, and then sat up. Noticing Rogue tying up her combat boots, she asked her, "Hey, are you going out?"

"Yeah, Ah'm off to th' café, remember?"

"Oh, right. For your _date_."

Rogue raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, and yo' point is?"

"Nothing," she yawned, and then bounced out of bed. "But you two, like,_ always_ go there!"

"So? Ah _like_ it there!" Rogue snapped. Why did it seem like everybody had been questioning her relationship? It bothered her.

"Woah, no need to get all defensive."

Rogue exhaled slowly. Kitty was right, she needed to relax. "Sorry. Ah've just… Ah don't know, Ah guess it's been a strange mornin'."

"Isn't it always? But that's okay," smiled Kitty on her way into the girls' bathroom. "You, like, better go then. Your coffee always cheers you up. I'll see you later."

"Later," drawled Rogue as she walked out the door. She pulled her gloves on as she marched down the stairs, and firmly resolved not to think pitiful thoughts about that action like she usually did. She was so preoccupied with trying not to think that she walked right into Scott, who had just turned the corner at the bottom of the stairway.

"Oh, sorry Rogue!" he apologized. "Didn't see you there."

"Obviously," muttered Rogue. "Ah imagine yah wouldn't have walked into meh otherwise."

"Umm… So, where are you off to?" Scott asked, trying to establish friendly conversation and ease away the hostility that appeared to swirl around the girl.

"Ah'm going out fo' coffee," she answered him, and attempted to walk past him.

"Oh." His voice tensed up. "With _him_?"

"What, yah can't even say mah boyfriend's name? Yes, of _course_ with him! Ah _am _dating him, after all!" she burst out. "And Ah'm really not in the mood to argue with yah this morning, got it? Ah know yah don't like him, but it don't matter what anybody else thinks, so Ah don't really care!"

Scott took a weary step back, trying not to provoke Rogue. She reminded him of a bull ready to charge a toreador – any sudden movements would surely spell his doom, so he went for peaceful, soothing words instead. "Calm down, Rogue. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I was just wondering where you were going. I like to keep tabs on my team mates, I care about you."

Rogue snorted. "If yah care so much, then don't pry into mah personal life, yah got it?"

"We're just worried, that's all. He's the enemy, he's worked with Magneto, and he's fought us on more than one occasion - we don't want you to get hurt," he continued, only serving to upset Rogue even more.

"Fo' th' last time, he's not gonna hurt meh! Ah'm a big girl, Ah can make mah own choices, Summers."

"I realize that, it's just that- "

"Just nothin'! Ah know nobody trusts him, an' that y'all walk on eggshells when Ah talk about him, but this is important to meh, okay? Y'all didn't give Kitty so much shit when she was datin' Lance!"

"Yeah, but that was different, that- "

"No, it wasn't different! Just drop it, okay!" she shouted as she abruptly turned and stormed out the front door.

Scott watched her leave and groaned, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Well, that went well."

"You should know better than to lecture her about her relationships, Scott," spoke up Jean as she came and stood behind him. "It never goes well."

"I know… It's just that the whole situation is so weird, isn't it?" he commented as he turned towards her. Although 'weird' seemed like a rather weak adjective…

"Definitely. But we can't do anything about it, it's up to Rogue to make her own decisions."

"As much as I hate to admit it, I think she made the wrong one."

Jean gave him a sad smile. "She'll have to figure that out on her own."

- X -

As Rogue stalked along, she tried to breathe in the fresh air to calm herself down. Thankfully, the long walk to the café gave her plenty of time for that.

'Argh, who th' hell does Scott think he is? He's got no say in who mah boyfriend is.'

The thought of him managed to brighten Rogue's mood slightly. She'd see him soon, he usually made her feel better.

Soon she approached their meeting place, _Le Café _Café. When she walked inside, she quickly scanned the place. It was small and cozy, with bookshelves, tables, chairs, and couches scattered around. It reminded her of the Professor's library in the mansion – the atmosphere was much of the same, with whispered conversations and people relaxing over a good book. That was a place where she could hide within the Institute, and this was a place where she could hide when she needed to get away from it all. There were a few customers around, but not the one she was looking for. It appeared she was early, so Rogue made her way over to the counter and ordered her customary latte.

When it was ready, she grasped it in her gloved hands and happily sighed – no matter how dismal of a mood she was in, coffee always managed to make her feel better. As pathetic as it was, it was one of the only things that shed a positive light on her mutant powers and her need to constantly wear gloves – through the material, the normally searing cup would emit a pleasant warmth, heating her up and managing to thaw out whatever bitterness she would currently be feeling. She figured that embracing the positive aspects of her curse couldn't hurt, and this was the only one she could find.

Breathing in the aroma of her drink, Rogue made her way to their usual table. It was in the back corner, away from the hustle and bustle of the other patrons, where there would always be some privacy. She sat down and closed her eyes, tentatively sipping the scalding latte, and waited for her boyfriend to show up.

'Knowin' him, he's prob'ly held up flirtin' with every gal that crosses his path,' she mentally scoffed.

She continued to sit and drink, her earlier confusion and conflict already ancient history. However, after a few minutes Rogue felt another odd sensation – only this time, she could pinpoint it easily. It was the feeling of being watched.

Opening her eyes, their green depths scanned the room. They stopped on a young man standing by the entrance, staring at her. Rogue's heart leapt into her throat as she looked him over.

A worn brown trench coat hung off his tall, lanky frame. His unruly auburn hair fell into his face, which was probably the most handsome she had ever seen – the few days of stubble coating it made his appearance look even more rugged and sexy. But his eyes… His eyes were what really captivated her. A shocking combination of red on black, they made Rogue's heart beat all the faster. How could he possibly have such an affect on her?

She looked at him curiously, and he gazed right back, with an unreadable expression on his face. There seemed to be an intense mixture of emotions bubbling inside of him, but for the life of her, Rogue couldn't decipher any of them – that is, until a look of annoyance crossed his face, caused by somebody roughly brushing past him, shoving him slightly. With that, Rogue's attention turned to that other person.

'Finally!' she thought.

She glared at the silver haired boy quickly weaving his way towards her. "Well, Pietro, nice of yah to show up."

"Sorry," he apologized, flashing her a cocky smile. "But you know I'm well worth the wait."

"Somehow I doubt that," Rogue shot back. It did him good to have his ego kept in check, which she did on a regular basis.

"I'll make it up to you," Pietro cajoled, as he grabbed her hand and planted a soft kiss on the back of it, staring at her with his icy blue eyes. "Come on."

He held her hand as he led her out of the café, moving towards the mysterious man who hadn't moved from his earlier spot. As Rogue passed by, she accidentally bumped into him.

"Oh, sorry..." she called out as she walked by, slightly turning to face the stranger. As she spun back around to follow her boyfriend, they both missed the bewildered and upset look on the man's face.

* * *

Ooh, now I bet you all thought that Rogue's boyfriend was Remy, didn't you? Yeah, admit it… Bwa ha ha. Don't worry, I didn't just go insane – I've been insane for _quite_ a long time now. But don't fret – there will be Romy! I mean, this is _me_, after all.

Next chapter – we find out more about this Rogue/Pietro craziness! Don't worry, the Romy is on its way. We just need a pit stop in Dramaville first!

And before you go, a few public service announcements – first of all, a shameless plug! melancholic and I will be co-writing a fic together! It's still in the process of being developed, but look for it soon, under the pen name ishaholic. In the meantime, go read her stuff, it's great!

Secondly, I'm assuming you all are Romy lovers – why else would you be reading a Romy fic? So, I'm sending out a plea to help keep our favourite couple together! There are all these nasty rumours saying that they'll break up, and even cheat on each other (Gasp! Shock! Swoon!) in the new Rogue and Gambit comic series – we can't let that happen, people! So let's all do what we were born to do – complain! You can send emails to and and check out my author profile for a link you can go to for more info. Let's keep our favourite couple together, shall we?

Well, I think that's it. Thanks for sticking around for all my ranting! Review, pretty please – I need encouragement! I imagine I'll be getting plenty of "Pietro! What the hell are you thinking!" reviews - those should be amusing… Tune in soon for more fun.

Toodles,

- ish -


	2. Slipping Through

**Disclaimer:** Nope, the X-Men still aren't mine. Check back again tomorrow…

**A/N:** Thanks for all the reviews for last chapter! Wow, lot's of Pietro hatred, what fun. Don't you worry – you'll hate him even _more_ by the end of this fic, it'll be great! But never fear, my friends. melancholic put it quite nicely - as the Queen of Romy, I would never commit such a grave sin against my kingdom. ;-) There'll be _oodles_ of Romy for everybody!

enchantedlight, Deadhead89, BasiaM, TheRealMai, Anamaniax, epona04, darkstorm5000, The Rogue Cajun, RuBy ReD EyEs- Gambit LeBeau – You like me, you _really_ like me! _(wipes away a tear)_ Thanks all!

ThatsJustPeachy – How right you are with that hole in her heart. Sounds like a serious medical condition – she'll need 20ccs of Remy, stat!

Renaissance Wench – You are officially my hero, because I_ love_ the word 'wench'! Gold stars for you.

Misa1124 – Oh, she's got blinders on all right! Rather self-imposed ones, at that… hah hah, teaser.

Krys Xanthina and heartsyhawk – You know, you two were the few not hating Pietro. I'd jump on the bandwagon if I were you, I think the other reviews might start a pitchfork-and-torch-carrying mob at any moment. Head for the hills!

Calliann – If Remy is irresistible and chocolate is too, then Remy _coated_ in chocolate should be twice as irresistible! Not to mention sexy… Yum!

PomegranateQueen – I'm sure your first review was just great. (_ish pats you patronizingly on the head)_ ;-) But wait, using the process of elimination? I'm sorry, that sounds an awful lot like logic, you'll have to leave now.

flowerperson – I liked your poem / So I decided to write / A haiku review.

PsychoRomyChica and Zen Master White Dragon – Well, kudos to you two for trying to get to the source of all those nasty rumours – I'm proud! That's what we need in this world today, informed people trying to get all sides of the story… Sadly, the rumours came from the writers themselves - go check out the link on my author profile, it'll tell you all you need.

melancholic and Krac – Now why oh why would you ruin a perfectly good surprise and read the reviews before the chapter? Surprises are the best part. Tsk tsk, let me shake my head in disappointment – I expected better from you two, I really did. ;-)

Aro – Oh, you're so close to being right, yet kinda wrong too. And please, don't hold in your hatred for Pietro on my account! We can all embrace our hatred together – it'll be a bonding experience. Aww!

Star-of-Chaos – Oh believe me, ego squashing will ensue. And _how_!

demiducky25 – I know what you mean, I've got this fic all planned out, but I keep thinking of fun things to add that just make it longer and longer.. you don't mind, right? And take your bathroom break now, I don't want anybody to pee their pants with the cliffy at the end of this chapter.

XxFleurdelySxX – Do you have ANY idea how much you SCARED me? I mean, HONESTLY! My jaw dropped, I stared wide-eyed at the computer screen… I thought maybe you fried your brain on your honeymoon (congratulations, by the way!). All I can say is that you are EVIL for teasing me, and I hope those capital letters will placate you enough so you'll NEVER try it again. And hey… where that update you promised? ;-)

Ugh, I graduated yesterday – that's not what I'm ughing about, it was all good, I'm ughing about my sleep deprivation from partying all night. I hope I'm coherent enough to edit and post this, eh? Well, if you'll all direct your attention below, the newest chapter is ready for your reading pleasure! Enjoy.

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**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 2 – Slipping Through**

_"Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it." – Georges Duhamel _

When Rogue walked into her bedroom later that day, Kitty sat on the floor painting her toenails a blinding shade of pink. When her friend entered, she looked up, replaced the brush in the bottle, and asked, "Hey Rogue, have fun?" while wiggling the toes on her right foot.

"Yeah," she nodded, flinging herself onto her own bed.

"What did you two do?" Kitty continued, starting the painting anew on her left foot.

"Nothin' much, we met at the café, walked around th' park fo' a while…" Rogue explained, staring up at her ceiling.

"Sounds nice," mumbled Kitty, focusing on her task.

"Gee, yah couldn't possibly sound more enthusiastic, could yah?" muttered Rogue sarcastically.

The younger girl looked up curiously. "What?"

Rolling over onto her stomach, Rogue's green eyes pinned her roommate's blue ones. "Yah don't like Pietro, do yah?" she demanded with her characteristic bluntness. She had suspected as much for a while now, and she wanted to know the truth – now was as good a time as any, especially since she had started out her day analyzing her life.

Rogue knew the answer before one was even spoken, by the widening of Kitty's eyes and the worried glimmer within them. The girl couldn't lie very well - when she did, she could barely look at you. If she somehow forced herself to, that guilty appearance was always present. "Oh, no, Pietro is, like, all right…"

"Truthfully, Kit."

"Um, like, really, he's fine. I just don't know him too well, so- "

"Ugh!" Rogue exclaimed, sitting up and throwing her arms in the air. "Is this whole mansion against meh? Did everybody magically forget that _yah_ dated _Lance_? He's the 'enemy' too! Ah would've thought at least _yah_ of all people would've supported meh in this!"

"No, Rogue, I do, I totally do!" declared Kitty, getting up off the floor and sitting beside Rogue, putting herself at eye level to her friend. "I'm, like, sorry if it doesn't seem that way… I honestly can't say Pietro is my favourite person, but I won't, like, be against you if you want to see him, okay? I want you to be happy."

"If Ah _want_ to see him? Ah _am_ seein' him," stated the Goth, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Rogue! Semantics, that's all, jeez."

Rogue stared at Kitty for a few more seconds, and accepted that. "Fine. So yah're okay with it?"

'No, of course not!' thought Kitty, but outwardly said, "Sure. Like I said, I just want you to be happy, okay?"

Rogue nodded. "Good. Glad Ah've got somebody on mah side… Call meh paranoid, but it's like everyone in th' mansion's against meh an' Pietro, like they're all whisperin' 'bout us or somethin'. It's annoyin'."

That was an understatement. It unnerved her to no end – every time she mentioned Pietro's name, the others would exchange veiled glances, or wouldn't be able to look Rogue in the eye… She had lost track of the number of times that she had entered a room only to have the conversation stop, or abruptly change subjects… It wasn't as if her relationship with Pietro was very juicy or scandalous, so it made her wonder what everybody's problem was.

Kitty made a mental note to tell everybody to cool their chitchat. "That does, like, sound a bit paranoid. I'm sure it's nothing."

"Ah guess," Rogue sighed, letting herself fall back on her bed again.

A short silence spread over the two girls before Shadowcat spoke again, this time with a quiet, unsure tone. "Rogue?"

"Yeah, Kit?"

"_Are_ you happy?"

The question surprised Rogue. It wasn't like Kitty to be so direct, she knew that Rogue liked her privacy. She pondered her response for a bit – should that have worried her, that she needed time to think about her reply?

"Ah… Ah guess so. Ah mean, as happy as Ah can be, Ah suppose. Things have been good lately, yah know? Ah don't have control yet, but Pietro's workin' on it with meh, he's so convinced that Ah can get it… Even more than Ah am, really. It's funny, Ah never thought Ah'd have a boyfriend with mah powers, but now Ah do and he's tryin' to help meh control 'em – Ah always thought that the order would be reversed or somethin'."

Kitty gave her a small smile and continued. "So he makes you happy?"

Rogue sat up. "...He's a good guy. Real sweet. He says all th' right things, does all th' right things," she said, tugging on the rose pendant he had given her. It was always around her neck, a pleasant weight that comforted her in some way.

Noticing that she didn't really answer the question, Kitty decided to pry further. "Do you love him?"

With that, Rogue tensed up, her hand clenching around the necklace. Glaring at her friend, she spat out, "What's with th' interrogation? Ah thought yah were on mah side with this. Now yah're questioning th' one guy who's actually made meh happy?"

'Oh, if you only knew, Rogue,' she thought dismally. "I didn't mean it that way, I just wanted to know. I'm glad you care about him so much. Let's, like, talk about something else, okay?"

"Let's," mumbled Rogue, relieved for the change of topic.

"Oh, you can paint your toenails with me!" squealed the teen, reverting to her perky persona in an attempt to forget about the tense exchange.

"Ah guess," came the less enthusiastic response, complete with a roll of eyes. Usually consenting to some asinine girly bonding activity would get Kitty out of Rogue's hair for the rest of the day – and even though she actually enjoyed the girl's company, today she felt like she needed some alone time.

Rogue untied her boots and settled on the floor as Kitty rummaged through her drawer for another bottle of nail polish. "What do you want, Rogue? How about 'Bubblegum Bright'?"

"No pink!" came the strict condition.

"Oh, fine… There's a nice green here… Maybe purple? Oh wait, here's a great shade of red."

"That's all right."

Kitty grabbed the rich colour and headed back over to their spot on the floor, handing the bottle over to her friend.

Rogue looked at it, read the name on the label, and smirked. "'Mardi Gras Gleam'? Cute."

When she heard that, Kitty's head jerked up in alarm. "What?"

"What?" Rogue echoed, a confused look on her face. "That's th' name of th' colour, 'Mardi Gras Gleam'. There a problem with that?"

"Oh, no," she tried to cover up. "I just thought I, like… lost that colour a long time ago or something. It just surprised me." It was unbelievable that she would pick that colour, out of all the bottles…

"So, what did yah do while Ah was gone? Anythin' interestin'?" Rogue queried, starting to brush on the nail polish, accepting the explanation for Kitty's odd behaviour.

"No, not much," she replied, her heart slowing its rapid beating from that little moment of shock. "Just the usual, like, Xavier Institute breakfast fiasco. Oh, I did get to sit next to Piotr though!"

Rogue had to smile at how thrilled the young girl was. Everybody knew she had a crush on one of the X-Men's newest teammates, the giant Russian – except for the Russian himself, of course. "And? What happened?"

"Not much. You know him, he's like, so quiet. But he did ask me to pass the juice, that's a lot more than he says to anybody!" she squealed, brandishing the nail polish brush in the air. "Maybe it's a sign!"

"Course it is, Kit. One day he asks yah for th' juice, th' next day it's a marriage proposal – Ah mean, it's th' next logical step," came the cynical response.

"Oh, shut up," Kitty pouted. "What about you? Anything interesting?"

"Not really," Rogue remarked, staring at the red colour on her toes. It reminded her of those eyes… "Actually, there was somethin' strange though. At the café, there was this guy starin' at meh."

"Ooh!" shrieked Kitty, pouncing all over the tidbit of gossip. "Tell me! What'd he look like? Maybe he likes you! Details, Rogue, details!"

"Kit-Kat, yah're getting' way too excited 'bout this."

"But I wanna know! Describe him to me. Was he cute?" she grilled Rogue, practically bouncing as she got up to put her nail polish bottle away.

"Well, yeah," Rogue admitted, thinking back to that handsome stranger. "He was tall, brown hair, kinda scruffy looking, but he could pull it off. He was wearin' a trench coat, but his eyes really caught mah attention – they were red on black, isn't that weird? D'ya think he's a mutant?"

At those words, Kitty dropped the bottle and it shattered on the floor.

"Kitty! What's up with yah today?" shouted Rogue, staring at her friend in wonder. She was acting more bizarre than usual.

"N-nothing!" she squeaked, grabbing some tissues to wipe up the mess. "It just, like, slipped."

"Here, let meh help yah clean it," the Goth offered, moving to get up, but Kitty stopped her.

"No, I got it, it's my fault," she mumbled and started mopping up the pink puddle.

"Umm, okay then," Rogue allowed, and went back to her toenails. Quickly finishing up, she placed the bottle back on Kitty's dresser and turned to her. "Are yah all set there? Cause Ah'm gonna go to th' library an' read for a while."

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead," Kitty told her, not really paying attention, her mind elsewhere.

"Okaaay." Rogue left, shaking her head. This was definitely one of her wackier days…

- X -

Kitty threw out the glass shards and walked over to her dresser. She picked up the 'Mardi Gras Gleam' and sighed… Now what was going to happen? This couldn't be good. As she put it away in her drawer, she noticed a movement in the mirror – the curtain was fluttering in the wind. She hadn't left the window open though…

Turning around, she gasped as she ran into somebody's broad chest. Looking up, her jaw dropped open in surprise. "Remy!"

"_Bonjour, chaton_ (hello, kitten)" he greeted, tipping his head slightly.

"What are you doing in here?" she demanded fiercely, beginning to panic. "You, like, can't be here, Rogue can't see you!"

"Dat's why 'm here," Remy told her, stepping back and beginning to pace in front of her. "I already saw her dis mornin'."

"Yeah, I know, but- "

"What de hell's goin' on!" he growled, eyes flashing in rage – but also hurt. "I came back, just like I promised, an' what does Remy find? His _chère_ (dear) wit' de Speed Demon!"

"Remy, you- "

"I was only gone f'r a few months!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms up in frustration. "An' she's already found anot'er _homme _(man) t' replace m'? How could she do dat? I know dat I hurt her when I left, but I t'ought I made it clear dat I didn' wan' t' an' dat I'd be back, I t'ought t'ings would be fine b'tween us, an' now dis! She looked at m' like she didn' even know m'!"

"Remy, stop, you don't understand- "

"Y' damn right I don' understand!" he shouted, swiftly striding back and forth, trench coat flapping about his legs and swirling with every turn he made. "Y' know, I expected some anger when I came back, I know I deserved dat, but not like _dis_! Not _mon amour_ (my love) wit' someone else!"

Kitty had had enough. Stepping out into his path, she thrust her hands into his chest and forced him to stop. "Remy! Just shut up and, like, listen to me for a second! You really don't understand the situation."

"What, y' gonna explain it t' m'? Tell m' how I hurt her, and dat I brought dis on m'self? T'ought y' supported m' datin' Rogue," he responded acerbically.

"I _do_ support you dating Rogue! But you _did_ hurt her," she began. "That's how this all started-"

"I know! I know I hurt her, an' dat hurt m' too, but is dis how she deals wit' it? Findin' someone new? _Merde_ (shit), how long did she wait after I left? We were t'oget'er f'r more den a year an' she's o'er m' already, like our time t'get'er meant not'in'?"

"Dammit, Remy, just let me explain!" Kitty burst out. "As much as you might want to, you can't really blame her for being with Pietro!"

"Why de hell not?" he scoffed. "What, did she jus' fo'get 'bout Remy?"

When Kitty flinched at his words, he froze. Taking a deep breath, Remy slowly asked, "Kitty?"

Her dejected expression made him afraid to ask, but he had to. "…Kitty, dat's not what happened, is it? Does _ma_ _chère_ remember me?"

The pitying look on her face told him all he needed to know. _"Merde,"_ he whispered in disbelief. He started to feel weak and knees gave out, landing him on Rogue's bed.

Kitty sat next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder in a vain attempt to comfort him, but he roughly shook it off – she couldn't make it okay. Burying his face into his hands, Gambit braced himself and asked her, "What happened? How could dis happen?"

Her heart almost broke at the sound of his voice, normally so playful and warm, now the quivering tone of a man trying to hold in his tears. She desperately didn't want to be the one to break the news to him, he was distraught enough already… But she just couldn't let him be in the dark about this anymore – he needed to know the truth, he ought to have that much, at least. "Well, Rogue was devastated when you left," Kitty began. "And then… Well…"

"What? Was dere an accident? Is it amnesia or somet'in'? Is it reversible? Tell me, _petite _(little one), please," Remy pleaded frantically.

She saw the hope flare up in his eyes, and it killed her that she would have to extinguish it. "Remy… God, I'm so sorry, but Rogue forgot you willingly. She had you erased from her memory."

* * *

Ouch! Poor Remy, that's gotta suck…

Next chapter – we find out more about Rogue's voluntary memory loss.

So, what say ye? Methinks I can hear the shocked and appalled reviews already… Bring 'em on! Review! That'll get me nice and motivated for the next chapter. ;-)

Toodles,

- ish -


	3. Forget

**Disclaimer:** Hear ye, hear ye! It shall hereby be proclaimeth that I do not owneth the X-Men! …eth.

**A/N:** Howdy y'all. I would've posted this sooner, but since my Dad is out of the country, we're redecorating. If any of this is too insane, let's just blame the paint fumes, shall we?

Star-of-Chaos, Misa1124,Calliann, PomegranateQueen, ThatsJustPeachy, PsychoRomyChica,crazy-me, BasiaM, Anamaniax, TheRealMai, flowerperson,texasgrrl, The Rogue Cajun, Pandora's Sorrow, sleepy26,epona04, darkstorm5000, LoneWolf422, cool-chick-rae, and enchantedlight – Aww, your kind words make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Gold stars for you all.

SweetRevenge151 – Rome? I'm jealous. And ooh, a murder mystery? I love those! Okay, I've moved from jealous to intrigued. Bring that on!

heartsyhawk – Ahh, glad you've seen the error of the non-Romy way. ;-)

ladychopsticks – Sorry it took longer than 5 minutes. But ooh, I _do_ have a bunny and a swivel chair, I think I'm all set for my role as evil mad scientist! Except I'm not very sciencey – would that pose a problem? Need help searching for another fic? Well, as Queen, I suppose I must fulfill my royal duties! Bring it on.

melancholic – Don't like surprises, eh? Isn't that interesti- BOO! Hah, take that. But you trust correctly, all will be explained – it'll just take a while. Until then, shall you continue with the feet-kissing? Don't worry, they don't smell _too_ bad. ;-)

fallen-angel999 – Sure, I can tell you it's a good sign - it might not necessarily be _true_ however. Nahh, it most likely is. Or _is _it? Dun dun duhh! Are you adequately confused and twitchy now?

demiducky25 – Gee, instead of predicting winning lottery numbers or something equally useful, I predict your need to go to the bathroom? Sigh! Oh well that cracked me up. I'd suggest going before you read this chapter too – just in case!

Peace215 – Oh, such flattery! As for why I chose Pietro… Well, he's just sleazy enough to do what I have planned. Ohh, are you curious enough yet?

Aro – Didn't bonfires go out of style after, what, the Salem Witch Trials? But don't you worry, I think I can promise you a good pummelling – would that suffice?

Alyxandria – Sad to say, I didn't actually come up with this concept – what, you think _I _could actually be this creative? Hah! It's a movie, 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind', I suggest going to see it. If you don't mind spoiling the fic's plot, that is. ;-)

Krac – Did you hit the right page this time? And yes, 'doomed but meant for each other' really sums it up _quite_ nicely!

XxFleurdelySxX – You lost interest? Tsk tsk. I'd give you a firm scolding, but I'm looking forward to that new stuff you're writing – hint hint!

Anyhoo, I got the funnest exclamations last chapter! There was a 'yowza', there was a 'gak!'… Amusing stuff. Prepare some more for this chapter, eh? Which, as luck would have it, is right here! Nice how things work out like that.

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 3 – Forget**

_"Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it." – Michel de Montaigne_

Remy didn't fully understand Kitty's words at first. "_Pardon?_" he questioned hoarsely. Surely, she just didn't say what he thought he had heard...

"Rogue had you erased from her memories," Kitty repeated gently. Well, as gently as she could, considering the awful news she was giving him.

If he hadn't already been sitting down, Remy certainly would have collapsed. He was in a daze from what the young girl had just told him – it couldn't be true… Could it? The lack of recognition he had received from Rogue earlier seemed to confirm it… But he just couldn't believe that. '_Ma chère _wouldn' do dat… _Non_, she couldn'…' he thought desperately, yet failing to fully convince himself.

Kitty felt her heart break as Remy stared blankly ahead, a distant look on his face. But then again, her sorrow would be nothing compared to his, she supposed.

"Tell m' exactly what happened," he whispered, but it would have been just as powerful a demand had he screamed it out. It was clear Remy would not leave without the answers he needed, and Kitty couldn't, and wouldn't, deny them to him.

She sat down across from him and sighed. It was such a bizarre story, she could hardly believe it was real… And she knew that they both wished it wasn't. Taking a deep breath, she began.

"Well, after you left, Rogue was, like…" Kitty paused to find the words. "It was like she was broken inside. She had made so much progress, all thanks to you, but then she went back to like she was before – only worse. She hardly left her room, she didn't eat, she couldn't sleep – when she did, she would wake up crying. She pushed us all away again, we were so worried about her - we tried to cheer her up, but nothing worked."

"Sound jus' like m' when I left," Remy mumbled.

Kitty nodded at that, her suspicions verified. "I like, tried to tell her that. I tried to tell her that you didn't want to leave, that you'd be back, but it didn't help. She said that it hurt too much."

Now it was Remy's turn to nod. He knew that feeling – leaving his _chère _had been one of the hardest things he had ever done. "Keep goin', _chat_," he prodded. "What happened after dat?"

"After a few weeks, Rogue went to the Professor. I don't know the exact details, but he erased you from her memories."

Remy held his breath as he asked, "Completely?"

He felt like all the wind was knocked out of him when she corroborated it. "Yeah. It's like you never existed to her."

Remy's mind was reeling. This was impossible… Maybe it was all a dream? It seemed like it couldn't be real. He closed his eyes, silently willing himself to wake up from this nightmare - that's what this was, it had to be!

"After… After it was finished, he told us what he'd done," she continued. "He told everybody, even the Brotherhood, that we should never mention you around Rogue again."

"Dat's it? Jus' like dat? 'Poof, Remy's gone?'" he bitterly asked.

"Yeah," murmured Kitty. "She seemed better after that… Not happy, like she was with you, but it was better. And then a week or so later, Pietro ran into her – and, um, I guess you can like, figure out the rest."

"Right," Remy sneered. He had driven non-stop from New Orleans the second he was able to leave, only to find his _amour_ with someone else. To have it be that silver-haired brat only added insult to injury – it was like some cruel joke, like the entire universe was laughing at him.

"I know it probably won't make you feel any better," Kitty began meekly. "But she isn't the same now, even with Pietro."

She was right, it didn't make him feel any better – at this point, he doubted anything could. Remy clenched his hands into fists, his nails digging into his palms and drawing blood – he didn't care. The pain was pleasing - anything was preferable to the pain he was feeling right now in his heart. It was slowly breaking apart, piece by piece, with every new detail he learned.

"She doesn't love him," she continued to divulge, hoping that might ease his sorrow, but it only stirred his rage.

"She doesn' love me anymo' eit'er!" Remy screamed, leaping up to his feet.

"Shh!" hushed Kitty, looking nervously towards the door. "We don't want anybody coming in here and finding you! Logan, Kurt and Scott would want to, like, kill you for hurting Rogue!"

"She ain't hurt anymo', is she? She don' remember bein' hurt," he spat out. "_Je ne comprends pas _(I don't understand), how could dis happen? Did she jus' wake up _un jour_ (one day) an' decide dis? How can y' choose t' do somet'in' like dat?"

At his words, Kitty looked away guilty. "It-it's my fault," she stuttered. "Oh God, I'm so sorry…"

"How?" he demanded.

"I was trying to like, knock some sense into her, telling her to be positive and stuff," she wailed. "And I got mad! I told her, 'You have to get over this! What else are you gonna do, erase him from your memory?', but she like, took it literally! And I tried to stop her, I swear, but she got so dead-set on the idea, nothing I said would help! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it's all my fault…"

Remy looked at the crying girl. He walked over, knelt down in front of her and said, "I don' blame y', _petite_."

She looked up sharply. "You don't?" she sniffled.

"_Non_," he said, and then his tone turned cold. "I blame Rogue."

Kitty's eyes widened - she had never heard him refer to Rogue so frigidly before. "What?" she weakly asked.

"I blame her," he repeated, resuming his earlier pacing. "She did dis! It's her fault, all o' dis! I _told_ her I'd be back, she _knew _I didn' wan' t' leave, an' she still did dis! Did she even t'ink 'bout Remy at all?_Non!_ I loved her, an' she tol' me dat she loved m' too, an' den she jus' goes an' erases m'!"

"She _did_ love you!" protested Kitty, attempting to defend her best friend's actions. She may not have agreed with Rogue's choice, but it had to be done – things might have been worse otherwise, and she didn't want to think about that. "You know that, and I know that! Hell, _everybody_ knows that! That's why it hurt her so much, and that why she felt she had to do it. It wasn't easy for her, you have to realize that, Remy."

"_C'est des conneries! _(That's bullshit!)," Remy yelled, making fists in his hair and pulling them in frustration. "She took de easy way out, tryin' t' run from her problems, like always! We worked so hard on our relationship, an' she jus' t'rows it all away! How can y' claim t' care 'bout someone an' get rid o' dem like dat?"

"Remy, calm down-"

"Don' tell m' t' calm down, dat ain't gonna happen! I can't believe she did dis… What 'bout all de good times we had, henh? What 'bout dem? She jus' writes it all off like it was not'in!" he continued to shout, a few carefully guarded tears slipping down his face.

Kitty sat there in silence, watching the Cajun release his rage, feeling helpless – just like she had with Rogue. Suddenly Gambit stopped in his tracks, abruptly turned around, and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" she yelped, jumping up to follow him.

"T' find Xavier!" he bellowed, wrenching the door open and striding down the hall. "I need t' get t' de bottom o' dis!"

- X -

Across the mansion, Charles Xavier was working in his office when he suddenly grimaced. His powers were picking up a great deal of emotional pain… Reaching out with his telepathy, he attempted to determine the origin – he sighed when the source was found.

It did not come as a surprise to him. He knew Remy LeBeau would return one day - the only question had been when. As cruel as it was, he had been hoping it would be at a much later date – it would leave more time to find a way to explain why he had done what he had. Even the few months that had passed since the incident hadn't adequately prepared Xavier for what to tell the young man, and he was dreading having to justify his actions.

The Professor placed his papers down and wheeled himself around in front of his desk. A few moments later, Gambit burst in the door.

"We need t' talk, _M'sieu_ (Sir)," he growled.

A few seconds after his entrance, Kitty ran into the room.

"I'm sorry, Professor!" she panted. "I, like, couldn't stop him!"

"That's quite alright, Kitty," he told her. "He is correct, we do have a great deal to talk about. Please close the door on your way out."

"Oh, um… Okay," she squeaked, and did as he asked.

When she had left the room, the Professor turned to the angry Cajun glaring at him – his demon eyes made the action all the more intimidating, and Xavier found himself hard-pressed not to flinch under the glower.

"Would you like to sit down?" he offered, gesturing to a chair.

"_Non_, I'll stand," came the forced reply, clearly impatient and angry. "I want some answers, _Professeur_, an' I wan' dem _now_."

"Fair enough," he nodded. "I take it you already know the gist of what occurred. What else would you like to know?"

"How 'bout why de hell y' did dis t' her!" he roared – respect be damned, this was the man that took away his _amour_, and Remy certainly didn't feel that he deserved his politeness.

"Calm down, Mr. LeBeau, please-"

"Calm down? Why do y' people keep tellin' me dat? Would y' be calm if y' found out dat de love o' yo' life had y' erased?"

Charles winced. "Point taken. But please, at least let me speak – I will explain it all to you, I promise."

"How can y' possibly explain it? How could y' have done it in de first place?"

"Believe me, I didn't want to," protested Xavier. "But eventually it became clear to me that I didn't have much of a choice."

"No choice?" exclaimed Remy incredulously. "Of course y' had a choice!"

"Mr. LeBeau, please!" stated the Professor harshly. "I am trying to clarify things for you, but first you must let me!"

Remy nodded resentfully, and remained silent. However, he began pacing in front of the Professor, reminding him very much of a dangerous cat ready to pounce.

"Good. Now, you must understand – I never would have agreed to this normally. In any other scenario, I would have just classified it as the stresses of a teenage break-up, but this was different – it went much deeper in this case. There were extenuating circumstances I had to take into account."

"An' dey were?"

Charles paused before answering, and evaluated the young man in front of him – hopefully he would be able to take the news without blowing up. "That would be the condition of Rogue's mental state. She was very… unstable, after you left. She was despondent, fragile. I attempted to talk to her about it, to try to help her through her pain, but I could not help her – the memories of her happiness were simply preventing her from experiencing more. I was forced to acquiesce to her wishes, for her own good."

"What d' y' mean? _I_ was good f' her!" Remy objected.

"I know you were. But after you left… She was suicidal, Remy," Xavier revealed honestly.

Those words stopped Remy in his tracks, his sharp intake of breath almost sounding like a hiss. "She… She didn' hurt herself, did she?" he stammered, fear gripping him.

"No. But she would have – she began to cut herself, not too deeply, but it would have only progressed from there, I'm afraid," he told Remy, clasping his hands together and bowing his head. "That's why I did what I did, Mr. LeBeau. I certainly did not agree with Rogue's decision, but I could not get through to her any other way, and believe me, I tried. It was the last resort - I did what was necessary for her safety."

"Pardon m' if dat don' make m' feel any better," Remy mumbled, dropping into a chair with his head in his hands. After a brief silence, he spoke again.

"It… It be permanent, _oui_? Dere's no way y' can bring back de memories?" he asked warily, already knowing the answer deep down, yet needing verification.

"I'm afraid not. They weren't buried, they were completely wiped out – there is nothing to bring back."

He closed his eyes to stop the tears from falling, and remained that way for a few minutes. "It's not fair," he mumbled quietly.

"I know," the Professor tried to console him, only in vain.

"Y' know? How de hell can y' possibly know!" Remy burst out.

Xavier didn't reply – he couldn't, he didn't have an answer.. He just let Gambit continue.

"I can't believe dis," he ranted. "How de hell am I supposed t' live like dis, wit'out her? Knowin' dat she gave up on m'? It's unfair, now I be de one stuck wit' de memories, it's unfair dat I have t' remember, when she don'…"

Charles remained silent, leaving Remy to deal with his feelings. When it seemed he had finished his angry rambling, Charles spoke again. "I really am sorry, Mr. LeBeau. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you," he offered, knowing that in reality, nothing would alleviate his guilt for the role he played in all of this.

"What could y' possibly do t' help m'?" Remy sneered. "Y' can't change de past, y' can't bring Rogue back t' m', dere's not'in' else I wan'."

He rose from his seat, and stalked towards the door. He couldn't stand to look at Xavier anymore – deep down, he knew it wasn't the man's fault, but he still wanted somebody to blame. However, as Remy's hand touched the doorknob, he was hit with a sudden flash of inspiration. He paused and turned back around.

"_Professeur?_ Dere is somet'in' y' can do f'r m'," he announced.

"And what would that be?" inquired Xavier curiously.

"Do it t' m' too."

"Excuse me?" He hoped Gambit wasn't asking what he thought…

"I wan' it done too. Erase her from m' mind."

* * *

My stars! Their relationship keeps getting more and more depressing, don't it?

Next chapter – Gasp! Will Remy erase Rogue too? Oh, whatever will happen to our favourite couple!

Well, tune in to find out. In the meantime, how about you channel all that twitchy energy and leave me a review? Thanks!

Toodles,

- ish -


	4. Solitude

**Disclaimer:** Does anybody read these things?

**A/N:** Seriously – do you people read these! Give me a sign! Preferably a neon one.

Anyhoo, sorry about the wait. I would've updated sooner, but the site wouldn't let me… Grumble. Oh well, here we are!

Calliann, Orage, Peace215, Alyxandria,ASGT and Kat Maximoff, darkstorm5000,The Rogue Cajun, Rogue4787, cool-chick-rae, flowerperson,Ms. Rogue LeBeau, Pandora's Sorrow, texasgrrl, Rogue14,Purple-NightSky, Awikie-Wakie-Wokie, BasiaM, Ms. Rogue LeBeau, Anamaniax, Anna, LoneWolf422, Untouchable Hexing Witch, enchantedlight and TheRealMai – As a sign of my appreciation, have a pineapple – the best fruit _ever!_

UniversalAnimeGirl – Writing an angsty, conflicted Remy is _so _easy! It practically writes itself - you ready for more? As for your plot guesses… Well, I can't tell, but I don't think the fact that she's "taken" would stop Remy at all… hint hint. ;-)

PsychoRomyChica – A pet drug monkey sounds fun. All I've got is an annoying crack bunny… Ya wanna trade?

Lightspeed Suzuka – Aww, I'll definitely cherish that plushie set. Not that it'll change the plot, but cute try! ;-)

Krac – Tsk tsk, you should never take your eyes off your prized angst wand! Unless it was for a shiny, alcoholic, cute guy. I actually prefer using angst fairy dust – it gets in peoples' eyes, which good since it makes crying a lot easier.

melancholic – Oh, of _course_ it hurts me to do this to them! I'll salvage the situation… eventually. Until then, don't ruin the surprises! Party pooper. But I provoked your tear glands? Aww, I _am_honoured! I'm giving myself gold stars for that.

Star-of-Chaos – Gee, all that violence might impede my writing abilities… Don't fret, I think you'll forgive me, it'll just take a while. But there'll be a whole lot of angsty fun before then!

vespie – Quippish things? Thanks! The name of the café will have some symbolism later on, what with the repetition and all. But I didn't just tell you that. Don't worry, all will be explained in time – no uber long prequel.

PomegranateQueen – Most of their relationship would have been private stuff between Rogue and Remy themselves, so if she did absorb somebody, all they'd know would be tiny, insignificant bits that she probably wouldn't relive, ya know? At least, that's my excuse. Shh, let's not mention this again! ;-)

Aro – It _is _like a soap opera, isn't it? Except with super powers, which would _naturally_make it all the more dramatic. Thanks, your review reminded me to go watch Passions.

Neurotic Temptress – Thanks, I thought the voluntary amnesia would be rather unique – aggravating, but unique. I'm rather terrified though, what with your usage of capital letters, threats of torture _and_ crack gerbils! If I weren't so scared, I would've _definitely _withheld this chapter from you for even_ hinting_at that evil, sacrilegious name that must NEVER be uttered…

Alwaysright1 – Too bad I don't have an all-star cast, a large budget, and amazing special effects. I have to work with cheap things like "words" and "imagination". What _has_ this world come to? ;-) But thanks. I've obviously tweaked the movie's plot a _wee_ bit to satisfy some stuff, so we'll see what happens, won't we?

SweetRevenge151 – Stop with your self-deprecation and post _something_! That's an order! …Pretty please?

ladychopsticks – Did you get my email? I hope I fulfilled my royal duties to your satisfaction. And a scarf would be lovely, I hear those secret lairs can get pretty chilly. ;-)

XxFleurdelysSxX – Oh believe me, I was laughing at you… I mean, _with_ you! Yeah. I don't think your muse is very productive, maybe you should whip it into shape. Or give it a trip to Disneyworld too! Can I come this time?

Krys Xanthina – You're forgiven for calling me a cow and a stalker (well, that one's pretty apt), cuz you're reviewer #100! Huzzah! Have some confetti.

Well, here we go. Next stop, Angstland! Population: Remy.

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 4 – Solitude**

_"Ah! you can die, the world can collapse, I have lost the one I love. I must now live in this terrible solitude where memory is torture." - Albert Camus_

"Erase her? Absolutely not!" exclaimed the Professor, shaking his head vehemently. "I can't do that."

"Why not? Y' did it f'r her, now do it f'r m'."

He breathed out in aggravation. "Please consider what you are asking, Mr. LeBeau. I am not a couple's counsellor – this is something you must work out on your own. It isn't right to make such a decision simply to spite Rogue for her actions."

Remy's eyes narrowed dangerously. Walking up behind a chair, he clasped his hands together and leaned on it, doing his best to remain looking calm and collected - all the while, his gaze never broke away from the Professor's. "I want dis done, _M'sieu_. I won' be spitin' Rogue, cause she won' know 'bout it, will she? I can't live like dis, haunted by de memory o' someone dat doesn' remember m'. Y' freed Rogue o' her burden, so do de same f'r m'."

"I really don't believe you realize what you are asking me to do."

"If you don' do it, I'll find someone else who will."

A silence followed those words. The two men eyed each other warily, having come to an impasse and neither willing to budge. Unfortunately, Charles Xavier would be forced to concede - the information in Remy's memories could be dangerous in the hands of the wrong people, and both men knew it.

"Very well," said Xavier reluctantly, dipping his head in agreement. "But on one condition."

"What's dat?"

"I want you to leave, and seriously judge what you are about to do. There are consequences, and I want you to consider them."

"Like Rogue considered dem?" Remy scoffed derisively.

"I don't believe Rogue fully understood what she was getting into," admitted the Professor. "That's why I am warning you against this course of action."

"_Oui, oui, je comprends_, (Yes, yes, I understand)," muttered the impatient Cajun. "Do we have a deal, den?"

Charles heaved a regretful sigh, and inclined his head. "Yes."

Remy would have smiled at his small victory, but it was really no cheerful matter. Instead, he walked over to the man in the wheelchair and shook his hand – their deal was sealed.

- X -

Remy stealthily snuck out of the mansion, and made his way to his apartment. The beautiful day had turned into a dismal one, with fog dancing in the air and rain drizzling down. Fitting that the weather mirrored exactly what he was feeling inside…

The moisture gathered on his face. Unbidden, his tears fell. They mixed with the rain, hiding their true appearance.

He walked along in a daze, not fully paying attention to where he was going, and not fully caring. His thoughts were focused on the same subject they were always stuck on – Rogue. Except now was different from previous times… Now he wished they weren't.

Remy felt lost, he felt betrayed, he felt hurt – everything that Rogue had caused him to forget, whenever he was with her. Only now… Now she herself caused it all, because she had forgotten him. How bitterly ironic.

Every instinct inside of Remy still told him to run to Rogue, that she would make him feel better and lift his spirits – it was only then that his brain would kick in, and break his heart with the truth once again. She wouldn't be there to make it better, because she didn't even know who he was.

That killed him inside - it took every last ounce of hope he had left and crushed it, shattered it, smashed it, and left it to there to die. He never thought he would think such a thing, but it would have been better if he had returned to just find her with another man – Remy was sure he could have won her back. After all, they had something between them, something special and deep and unique that nobody else could imitate… Up until today, he had thought that bond could never be broken.

But now that she had no memories of him, that was gone, wasn't it? He couldn't win her back, because there _was_ nothing to win back. That was it. That one single little fact that ripped him up inside. She wasn't his anymore, he wasn't hers, it was like they never were. That was too much for him to take.

Remy's tears grew stronger until they turned into sobs that wracked his body, and he feel to his knees.

"Why? Why, _chère_? Why'd y' do it? Didn' y' love m' enough!" he screamed out, releasing all his anger, hurt, and frustration as he yelled up to the clouded sky. Then he buried his face in his hands as the rain poured down on him, wishing the water could just wash everything away.

All he could think of were the 'what if?'s. What if he hadn't left? What if he had come back sooner? What if he had said something differently, what if he had changed something?

…No. No, he couldn't live like that, questioning everything, constantly looking back to the past in a futile attempt to change the future.

Forcing himself to stand, he took in his surroundings and almost fell back down in shock. He was in the park… The park where he and Rogue shared so many memories. Remy grimaced – they were only his memories now, only he knew about them. Did that make him insane, having such clear recollections that only existed in his mind, and his alone?

He shook his head violently, as if trying to remove the thoughts by force. Then he ran out of the park – he couldn't stay there a second longer.

- X -

Remy's apartment was nice, but not very large. It made him marvel at how long it took to go through all his possessions, weeding out the ones that had any connections to Rogue.

The Professor had told him to gather any belongings he had that could be associated with her – gifts, photos, anything he could think of – and bring them back with him later. That way, if Remy went through with the procedure, he wouldn't find any strange items having to do with her that would be unexplainable.

The first things he had found were photos of him and his _chère _– he had stopped and stared at them for ages, amazed at how happy they both looked. That seemed so far away now. Remy let himself get lost in his thoughts of what had happened on those days – the pair cramming into a photo booth, or Kitty sneaking up on them with her digital camera… But then he frowned and quickly shoved them aside. He didn't want to remember.

Throwing the pictures in a large green garbage bag, he tried to move through the rest rapidly – some of Rogue's sketches, a pair of boxers she bought for him as a joke, and various other small gifts joined the photos in the bag. Then his hand wrapped around the chain Rogue had given him for their anniversary – it had hung around his neck ever since he had gotten it, he had never removed it. Slowly running his fingers over it, he contemplated that fact, and then ripped it off. The clasp went flying across the room, and he threw the chain in his pile of discarded goods.

Remy almost forgot the last item – he was so used to having it with him wherever he went. Reaching into his trench coat pocket, he pulled out the special deck of cards Rogue had bought him for his birthday. Playing with them whenever he missed her had become a habit of his – and that only made him toss them in the bag all the quicker. He had missed her so much, the thought of coming back to her was what had kept him going over the past few months – but now that was shattered. Now he was alone.

Looking around his apartment, he scanned for anything else he would have to get rid of. It was hard, _everything_ reminded him of Rogue – the bed, where they made love so many times… the couch, where they made love so many times… the shower, where they made love so many times… He very well couldn't take those with him. What about things like silk, that always made him think of Rogue's soft skin? Or emeralds, that always made him envision her eyes? What would he think of every time he saw those things?

Then it hit him. He wouldn't think of anything, because he wouldn't have any memories connecting them to Rogue. In fact, he wouldn't even know who Rogue _was_. He contemplated that for a few seconds – could he really wipe out such a huge part of his life?

He wanted to hate her. He wanted to blame her for everything – for erasing him, for dating Pietro, for causing him all this pain… But at the same time, his heart couldn't bare that kind of loathing against her – it still wanted her to come back to him, for her to hold him in her arms and smother him with her gentle kisses. Those warring feelings were tearing Remy apart inside, and he wanted them to stop.

Remy tried to ignore those loving, yearning emotions. It only took one look back at the lack of recognition in Rogue's eyes, or her walking away holding Pietro's hand, and he found his mind already made up. He couldn't live like that, haunted by knowledge only he had, always taunted by the sight of his love in the arms of another.

If she could erase him so callously… Well, so could he.

- X -

It was late, and the Professor's mood was beginning to look up. Gambit still hadn't returned - hopefully he had truly realized what the outcome of his actions would be. However, his mood plummeted once more when a garbage bag was suddenly thrown onto the chair in front of him. Looking up, he saw Gambit silently climb in through the window.

"You've made your decision, then?" sighed Charles, hoping to have one more attempt to convince the young man otherwise.

"'M here, ain't I?" countered Remy, walking over to sit on the couch.

"Mr. LeBeau, I know you think this is the right choice to make, but I beg to you reconsider," Xavier pleaded, wishing for a way to reach the Cajun. "Consider what you wish to do – you will be completely obliterating Rogue, the woman you claim to love, from your mind. Can you live with that?"

"I won' have t'," came the rebuttal.

The Professor opened his mouth to continue his argument, but Remy cut him off. "_Non_, not'in' y' can say will change m' mind. It hurts, it hurts a hell o' a lot, an' I can't live wit' it. Maybe dat makes m' a hypocrite f'r wantin' de easy way out too, but at least I can admit it, an' I don' care. I jus' wan' dis done, so let's get goin'."

"Very well," the Professor consented disappointedly, and wheeled himself over to the head of the couch. "Lie down."

Remy stretched himself out on the sofa as instructed, and asked, "So how dis gonna work?"

"The mind is an interesting place, Mr. LeBeau. It is like a web, with memories and feelings connected to each other. I will start with your memories of this event here – that will connect back to your most recent memory of Rogue, and then on to others from there. It will work backwards, each memory having built on the one previous, until we will be back at your very first recollection of her. She will be erased from everything, but the core of the memories will remain, so you will not have suddenly lost a year of your life. Do you understand?"

"_Oui_," came the tense reply.

"If you are ready, we can begin. All I need you to do is concentrate on your thoughts of our conversations today."

"All righ'."

"I have to ask one more time, Remy… Are you absolutely positive about this?"

As he replayed his arguments with the Professor, the hurt resurfaced again. He once again pictured Rogue smiling at Pietro instead of him, and his resolve was made even more ironclad. "_Oui_. Do it."

Silently wishing that he would be forgiven for what he was about to do, Charles Xavier entered the mind of Remy LeBeau.

* * *

Hate to do this to you guys (wait… no I don't!), but looks like their relationship is really going down the drain! Sigh…

Next chapter – Inside the mind of Mr. LeBeau!

In the meantime… More reviews, pretty please? Counting some email reviews I got, we beat 100, which is just ducky! But _not enough… _It's _never _enough… bwa ha ha! Oh yeah, I'm obsessed. But I **love** you guys! ;-)

Toodles,

- ish -


	5. Hell

**Disclaimer:** I'll challenge Stan Lee to a game of badminton (the only thing I'm good at!), winner take all! Until then, he owns the X-Men. But, I'll definitely win, right? I mean, he's just a little old man! Oh, he's going _down_.

**A/N:** I really don't have anything to say here… Oh, but thanks for the reviews! Well, that's a given. Responses ahoy!

Aro, Star-of-Chaos, SweetRevenge151, Alyxandria, mollymo, vespie, TheRealMai, Deadhead89, darkstorm5000, EviltwinAlix, enchantedlight, RoguesTale, texasgrrl, cool-chick-rae, LoneWolf422, Silver Ink, and flowerperson – I think I'll start a tropical fruit theme. How about coconuts this time? We can make pina coladas… And get caught in the rain…

melancholic – You want my brain, eh? I hate to ruin your Goddess-like perception of me, but I've got three words for you: quotation search website. Bwa ha ha! So really, I'm just mooching genius off of others.

angyxoxo – Hah, I made you hate Remy just like you _almost _made me not intensely despise Joseph! It's payback time. And yeah, I tried to tell Remy to stop, but he just wouldn't listen! You know how stubborn he can be. All those feelings of betrayal that he had from Rogue giving up on him might've ruined his mojo or something…

Orage – Glad you like the hurdles! I'm secretly training them for the Summer Olympics. ;-)

Awikie-Wakie-Wokie – _Nooooo,_ not Davey! _Anybody_ but **my** Davey! (ish goes off to a corner and cries)

Lightspeed Suzuka – Disappoint my fans? You have so little faith in me! I wouldn't do that… Hell, I wouldn't want to disappoint myself either, which is what non-Romyness does to me. Judging from that, I think you can guess what'll happen…

Ladychopsticks – I'm _quite_ upset about them deleting extra exclamation marks on reviews! I mean, how else are we supposed to express outrage and excitement and squealing? Sigh… It ruins all my fun, I love punctuation. Except for semicolons, they're EVIL. That's why I've stopped using them! Hah, take _that._

XxFleurdelysSxX – I find it amusing that you can write a whole little dialogue but not a fic… ;-) But hey, you're muse was right, it'll be a LONG while. Gold stars for it. Will that motivate it a little? Wait… _is _it an 'it'? Or a he? She? Them? Bahh, I'm confused.

Rogue4787 – I know what you mean about Xavier's ethics. I mean, if that were me, I'd be reading everybody's minds and blackmailing them! Maybe that's how he got all the money for his mansion…

Calliann – You cried? Oh, muffin! Would you like a hug? And yeah, Remy was being a little rash. That silly, silly boy… Don't worry, he'll regret it soon enough.

Peace215 and PomegranateQueen – Ooh, you two _might_ be partially right with some of your guesses… Or _are_ you? If so, with _which ones?_ Bwa ha ha, I'll never tell! Oh, I love to be all sly and teasing.

Neurotic Temptress – We'll make sure all of our minions are ready at a moments notice to hand us tissues. Those super soft kind too! Hell, after reading your little email saga, I needed them:-(

Remember, people! From here on in, **we're moving backwards through Remy's memories**. His mind is strange, uncharted territory, so keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 5 – Hell**

_"As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape." – John Lancaster Spalding_

Things whipped by him in a blur. Remy thought he saw an office flash by, then a bedroom, and he could have sworn he heard people talking…

_"Are you absolutely positive about this?"_

_"Non, not'in' y' can say will change m' mind."_

_"Didn' y' love m' enough!"_

_"If you don' do it, I'll find someone else who will." _

_"I told her, 'You have to get over this! What else are you gonna do, erase him from your memory?', but she like, took it literally!"_

He shook his head - it must have been his lack of sleep. Remy had just arrived back in town that morning, after hours of non-stop driving from New Orleans. He parked his motorcycle at his apartment, and quickly went inside to freshen up a bit. The bed called to him, urging him to take a much-needed nap, but Remy managed to resist. He wanted Rogue much more than he wanted some sleep.

After splashing some water from the bathroom sink onto his face, Remy peered at his reflection in the mirror. He looked like hell… He needed a shave and there were bags under his eyes, but that didn't matter. No time to clean up his appearance when his heart was calling out to him. Besides, he thought with a smirk – Rogue would just say that he looked 'rugged'.

He left his apartment, first making his way to the Xavier Institute. Remy hid in the trees at the edge of the property until the coast was clear. Then he sprinted across the lawn and climbed onto Rogue's balcony – he had hoped to sneak into her room and give her a surprise wake-up call. Unfortunately, when he had arrived, the room was empty. That didn't deter Remy at all – he knew where she would be.

He briskly walked to their café, his nerves growing with each step he took. He hoped that she would be there - Remy was desperate, he needed to see her. It hadn't been enough over these past few months to only be able to look at her in pictures, and to only touch her in his dreams – it was like denying him oxygen, Remy simply needed Rogue to live. He wanted to run up to her and crush her in his arms… But a part of him was slightly apprehensive as well. They hadn't seen each other in months, and their last meeting hadn't exactly been pleasant…

Remy pushed those feelings aside. They didn't matter – he'd finally be with his _amour_, he'd beg and grovel for her forgiveness if he had to, and then they'd be together again, just like they should be.

Before he knew it, Remy stood outside of _Le Café _Café. Looking up at the familiar sign, he smiled for the first time in… Well, quite a long while. He had made it back to Bayville, and it was just a few short moments until he would be in his _chère's_ arms again. Something told him that she was inside, he just knew it – there was a tugging, a yearning inside of him that he couldn't explain, and it said that Rogue was in there.

But of _course_ she was in there! He knew her well - sometimes he thought he knew her better than he knew himself, so he was sure that she would be in the café. She liked to go there to get away from everything. It was a nice, calming atmosphere that was so different from the commotion of her Institute. Remy also hoped that she was there for another reason – maybe because it reminded her of him? He grinned as he fondly recalled memories of their first date, at what had become "their" table, at "their" café.

Well, there was only one way to find out, and it didn't involve him standing there like a fool.

'Come on, Remy, time t' get movin',' he silently willed his feet to walk, and they did. They moved him towards the door and inside the building, each step bringing him closer to his _chère_.

He tried to ignore the burst of nervousness he suddenly felt – since when did he get nervous? It never happened. Well, except around Rogue, of course. But that was the good kind of nervousness, the kind that made him feel giddy, the kind that let him know he was really in love.

Remy blinked. He was thinking too much – he could get all sentimental later.

He pushed open the door, and walked inside. The café was just as he remembered, intimate and inviting, with every piece of furniture still in the exact same arrangement. It was comforting to know that some things hadn't changed while he was gone.

He stood by the entrance and scanned the room. There were several customers sitting at various tables, but Remy paid no attention to them - none of them were important. His eyes automatically made their way to table in the back corner, their usual spot, and his breath caught in his throat.

His earlier plan of rushing up to her and wrapping him arms around her was scrapped, as he was frozen in place, just staring at her.

'_Dieu _(God), did she get mo' _belle _(beautiful) while I was gone?' Remy wondered, as his chest tightened at the sight of her.

He just stood there, drinking her in. It had been so long since he had laid eyes on her in person… The photographs and memories hadn't been enough, he needed the real her.

Remy took in every aspect of her appearance, from the streaked hair that he itched to run his fingers through, to the luscious lips that he longed to kiss, to the adorable feet that he wished to tickle, just so he could hear her melodious laugh. He noticed how her purple shirt left a tiny bit of her shoulders bare, which just begged to have his kisses dropped on them. He noticed how her black jeans accentuated her long legs, which prompted many impure thoughts to start running through his head, specifically on how he would show Rogue _exactly_ how much he had missed her.

Unsure as to why, Remy continued to watch her, not making a move. She was sipping her coffee in that endearing way she always did, with her eyes closed and her hands wrapped around the mug. When she opened them again, she looked at the clock hanging on the wall and sighed. Her foot was tapping on the ground. She seemed impatient – was she waiting for somebody?

That question ceased to matter when Remy's thorough inspection of Rogue brought his gaze to her neck. He felt his heart jump for joy when he saw that she was still wearing the pendant he had given her. Surely, that was a good sign – it boosted his confidence greatly. That readied him to march towards her, when suddenly she glanced around the café, and right at him.

He held his breath as Rogue looked him over. She had a curious expression on her face, and he wasn't quite sure what that meant – usually he could tell what she was feeling so easily. Was she happy to see him? Was she still angry with him? As much as Remy wanted to hold her again, he forced himself to stand still, and wait for her reaction. He just prayed it would be a good one…

'Come on, _chère_, say somet'in', please,' he thought as the two continued to stare at each other.

Suddenly he felt a shove as somebody walked past him, and his gaze was torn from Rogue's.

"Jeez, _homme_, watch where y're goin'," he muttered under his breath, annoyed at the interruption.

Remy looked towards Rogue once more, only to find her no longer staring at him – her eyes were on the person walking towards her, the person that had bumped into him. Frowning slightly, he followed her line of sight.

He could see the man's back – he was tall, but skinny, and moving rapidly through the maze of tables and chairs. However, what really caught his attention was the hair. It was silver. No, it couldn't be…

Remy's hope was momentarily restored when Rogue glared at the other man, but then it was dashed seconds later when he picked up her hand and placed it to his lips. She smiled at him… Smiled!

Remy's jaw dropped when they both began to head towards him. Now he had an unobstructed view of the mystery suitor, and he was right. It was Pietro.

He felt sick. He knew that Quicksilver once had a crush on Rogue, but he had never expected anything to come out of it! He knew he had hurt his _chère_, but he had never expected her to do anything quite like _this_…

They were coming closer, and all he wanted was for her to look back up at him. Remy knew that if she would just look in his eyes, the eyes that she loved so much, that he could get her to drop Pietro's hand and fly into his arms in an instant, right where she should be.

Instead, they continued walking. He thought that he saw Pietro give him a smirk, but all of Remy's attention was focused on Rogue. As they went by him, she moved to let another patron pass, and her shoulder brushed against Remy's.

"Oh, sorry…" she called out as she continued on her way outside, turning slightly to look back at him.

Her eyes met Remy's again, just like he had wanted, only this time what he saw there knocked the wind out of him. Or rather, it was what he _didn't_ see… There was nothing – no love, no hate, no acknowledgement whatsoever.

What… What had just happened? His _chère_ and Pietro? He must have been hallucinating. He turned and watched them walk away, still holding hands. Remy felt like he had just been punched in the gut. This couldn't be real… This was hell, his own personal hell. He thought he had left that behind in New Orleans, but he had just returned to another version of it.

How could she do that to him? She had… _replaced_ him? No. No, no, this wasn't happening. He had come back for her, just like he'd promised, only to find her with Quicksilver? No…

His legs begin to tremble. Remy stumbled over to the nearest empty chair and sat down in shock, nearly knocking it over in the process. He stayed there, just staring at the floor in bewilderment and disbelief, not noticing the café fading away from view.

All of a sudden, he leapt from his seat. He had to go and… Wait, what was he about to do?

Looking around in confusion, Remy didn't recognize where he was. The scenery was blurry, he couldn't clearly distinguish anything. A few seconds later, everything around him disappeared.

* * *

Ooh, there we go, memory #1 erased! Dun dun duhh…

Next chapter – The erasing continues. We go back in time, and find out what happened when Remy left New Orleans.

So. As always, reviews are appreciated! But while you're at it, sign your name to something else too – a petition to save Rogue and Remy's comic relationship! I mentioned that at the end of Chapter 1, but now Lightspeed Suzuka has started up a petition to Marvel. It'd be great if we could get you all to sign! Let's **save the Romy**, just go to my author profile and click on the link.

Toodles,

- ish -


	6. Exile

**Disclaimer:** Oh yeah, I _totally _own the X-Men… and clearly, I'm also a pathological liar.

**A/N:** As always, hugs and kisses to my darling reviewers – you always make my day! Aww, so sweet.

Krac, Star-of-Chaos, Orage, PomegranateQueen, PsychoRomyChica, ThatsJustPeachy, Sweety8587, darkstorm5000, enchantedlight, Ms.Rogue LeBeau, Rogue14, SickmindedSucker, texasgrrl, Deadhead89, Scoobyd0530, Ladychopsticks, Silver Ink, EviltwinAlix, TheRealMai, Carla-p, and flowerperson – As per flowerperson's suggestion, how about some mangoes? Thank-you mangoes. They're the best kind. Because they thank you! How, I don't know… They can't talk. Would you be able to eat talking fruit? Or talking anything, for that matter… I'll shut up now.

heartsyhawk – The horror, the horror! Hah, glad you hate _and _adore me, I like that balance. But ouch, my credibility? Hey, I said I wouldn't write anything big until the summer, and that's now! So there.

demiducky25 – Aw, thanks for your catch-up reviews. And no problem with linking to the petition – the more the merrier!

SweetRevenge151 – Cotton socks, eh? I hope they're argyle patterned, those rock.

melancholic – Don't choke the monitor, then you won't be able to read the fluff! When it shows up, that is. And I hate to break it to you, but you might want to sharpen and shine your pitchfork…

Peace215 – You and your crazy predictions… ;-) A little high-strung, are we? Here you go, see how this calms your nerves.

XxFleurdelySxX – Your name is quite hard to type… Just because of that, _yes_, this _will_ take a long time. ;-) Looking for a new muse, eh? Hopefully this one'll be more productive. Have you tried ordering one off E-bay?

Neurotic Temptress – Pizza, of course! And ice cream, chocolate, and cookie dough. Tons of comfort food, restocked daily, we'll probably go through it fast. I think you've reached your saga quota, it might be my turn, which I've been trying to avoid… curses.

angyxoxo – Die? Now who's being rash? ;-) Nahh, I know, they were both rash and silly, shame on them. Don't fret, Remy'll smell the roses eventually. Metaphorically, that is. And sadly, a little too late… dun dun duhh.

Speck – Wow, longest review ever! I appreciate you breaking your vow of silence. Worried about a train wreck, are you? Frankly, so am I… Do you still kind of trust me at this point and time? I wouldn't, I'm predicting a lot more twitchiness. Great quotation, by the way – that's me in a nutshell.

So! Here we go, yet again. More memories for the wiping… Shall we?

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 6 – Exile**

_"Seeking to forget makes exile all the longer; the secret of redemption lies in remembrance." - Richard von Weizsaecker_

Remy could have sworn he had just heard something… It sounded like someone speaking, it actually sounded eerily like himself, but he couldn't be sure. He couldn't make out the words. They had an ethereal quality to them, like they were fading away…

'Must've been somebody echoin' in de back o' de church,' he reasoned, as he turned around and faced the pews with a sigh. He stood at the altar, wishing he could be anywhere else in the world.

He couldn't believe it, the day had finally come. He foolishly thought he had run away from it when he left New Orleans to work for Magneto, but it had just come back to haunt him. He had spent the past few weeks trying to do anything he could to ensure the wedding wouldn't happen, but he had failed. And now he was there, at the altar, about to get married.

That in itself wasn't the problem. Despite his reputation as a player, as a ladies' man, as a love 'em and leave 'em type, Remy wasn't actually afraid of commitment. He already had it – except it was to somebody else.

He loved Rogue. He had never thought it would happen, but he had fallen in love – and he'd fallen _hard_. Remy had found the right person, the love of his life, his soul mate, and he wanted to spend his life with her. Truth be told, he wanted to marry _her _one day. There were a few things stopping him from proposing, however – like the fact that they were both still fairly young, or the fact that Wolverine would gut him… But the main reason had been the arranged marriage still hanging over his head.

He was naive to think that he could have outrun it. It had followed him to Bayville, destroyed things there, and forced him back down South – and now his life was about to be ruined. This would be the last moment of the rest of his life, about to be made official in the eyes of God and before the hundreds of guests sitting in the cathedral. Remy was about to get married to a woman he didn't love, to one whom he couldn't even _stand_, and there was not much he could do about it.

The first strains of music floated through the air. All the guests stood up and turned around, looking towards the entrance of the church for a glimpse of the beautiful bride. Remy took that opportunity to observe them – all the Assassins were seated on one side, while all the Thieves were on the other. He scoffed – they were fooling themselves if they believed this wedding would ensure them peace. How could it, if they weren't even willing to sit next to each other? He was just a pawn in a foolish game, and he would end up being the loser. Remy would be the one having to give up his happiness, his love, and for what? Nothing. He knew no good would come of this, and that made it all the more difficult to bear.

He saw Belladonna walking down the aisle in her intricate, expensive gown. She wasn't wearing a veil, so he could see the malevolent glint in her eyes proclaiming her victory. It wrenched his insides. She was a _belle femme _(beautiful woman), no doubt about that, but she couldn't compare to Rogue in any way. But then again, in Remy's eyes, nobody could – neither physically nor personality-wise.

As she walked closer to him, he could have _sworn_ that her blonde hair darkened and gained white bangs, that her cold, piercing eyes turned a deep green, that her grinning pink lips turned into dark purple ones that wore Rogue's teasing smirk…

Remy shook himself out of his daze. When Belle reached him, he took her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it, yet wholly without feeling. As he slowly began to turn to face the priest, he caught the eye of his father.

Jean-Luc LeBeau's gaze was stern, and held a warning within it. 'Don' do anyt'in' stupid,' Remy imagined him thinking, knowing it was most likely the truth.

As the priest began to speak, Remy tuned out. He looked to his side, at his best man, Henri. His brother gave him a sympathetic smile, but could do no more. Remy didn't expect him to – he had done enough, trying to get him out of this whole mess, and for that Remy was grateful.

He snapped back to attention when the priest addressed the whole congregation and asked, "Does anybody have any reason as t' why dese two should not be wed? Speak now, or fo'ever hold yo' peace."

Remy held his breath and actually prayed – maybe since he was in a church, that would give it some extra merit? He stood there and hoped, harder than he had hoped for anything before, that somebody, _anybody_, would stand up and object!

A few moments passed.

There was silence.

The priest continued, and Remy's last chance was gone. The sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach grew worse and worse. From the corner of his eye, Remy glanced toward the stained glass windows.

'Wonder how much dey'd hurt if I jumped t'rough dem?' he speculated, imagining himself running away from an angry assembly of guests, not to mention a murderous jilted bride. It was rapidly becoming a very real possibility – he just couldn't go through with this! He knew that exile, or even death, were potential consequences, but they were preferable to marrying Belle and betraying Rogue.

She was all Remy could think of, and of his promise to come back to her… He hadn't contacted Rogue in the months since he had come to New Orleans – he knew he should have, but he couldn't bear to, for what would he tell her? The only news he ever had was that the wedding was still on. He wasn't able to tell her that, and she wouldn't be able to hear it. Granted, the situation wasn't much better now - would he have to call his _chère_ and break it to her that he was now another woman's husband? He doubted if he would ever be able to tell her that, but that meant not seeing her ever again, or ever hearing her sweet Southern drawl… Either situation would kill them both.

Remy broke out of his musings when the priest raised his voice, and turned to him.

"Do you, Remy Etienne LeBeau," he asked. "Take dis woman, Belladonna Boudreaux, t' be yo' wife, t' have an' t' hold from dis day fo'ward, f'r better o' f'r worse, f'r richer o' f'r poorer, in sickness an' in health, t' love an' t' cherish as long as y' both shall live?"

He felt the chain around his neck, Rogue's anniversary gift to him, grow heavier and heavier - it seemed like it was choking him… He knew what he had to do, consequences be damned. He prepared himself to run, and opened his mouth to answer –

"_Arrêtez!_ (Stop!)" shouted someone from the back of the church. Everybody turned and saw Julien Boudreaux stumbling down the aisle, obviously drunk. Normally Remy hated the mere sight of him, but now he couldn't have been happier to see the man.

"Dis has t' stop! _Ma soeur_ (my sister) ain't about t' marry a low-life, good f'r not'in' mutant t'ief!" he declared, having reached the altar.

Belle glared at him – if looks could kill, her only weapon would be staring. "Julien!" she hissed in fury. "What d' y' t'ink y're doin'? Get out o' here, _now_!"

"Stoppin' y' from makin' a mistake, dat's what 'm doin'!" he answered, shoving past her and making his way towards Remy.

"Back off, _homme_," Henri ordered, stepping forward and holding his arm out.

"_Non!"_ he yelled, flailing his hands in the air. "I won' back off, doesn' anybody see how _fou _(crazy) dis all is?"

Remy smirked – this was the first time the two of them had agreed on anything. However, a frown quickly took the smirk's place when Julien threw a punch at his face.

Quickly ducking, Remy dodged the fist and moved behind the man, who despite being drunk was still an able fighter. Henri came up and grabbed Julien's arms, trying to restrain him, and other Guild members began to rise from their seats to come help.

"Julien!" boomed the commanding voice of Marius Boudreaux as he marched up to them. "Stop dis at once! Y're ruinin' de weddin'!"

"Good!" screamed his son, rapidly twisting around in Henri's hold, and pushing him down the altar steps. Then he rushed towards Remy, and began attacking him.

He arms and legs flew in a frenzy, but didn't land a single blow on his target. Remy was able to easily outmanoeuvre Julien's strikes and tried his best not to hit Julien himself – he wouldn't need another reason for the Assassins to swear vengeance, on top of him not marrying Belladonna.

The two continued their scuffle, with Julien repeatedly lunging at Remy, and Remy moving out of reach again and again. Finally, the Assassin dove at the Thief and put him in a headlock – in return, the Thief attempted to twist the arm not holding him. Locked together, the two struggled, trying to get out of the others' grasp. Belle watched this, and grew more and more furious.

"_C'est assez! _(That's enough!)" she shrieked, running forward and jumping between the two men to shove them apart. Unluckily for her, she didn't see her brother discreetly draw a dagger and thrust it towards his rival. It was too late to redirect it, and he unintentionally plunged the blade into Belladonna's chest.

"Belle!" gasped Julien as she cried out and fell to the floor, dropping to his knees beside her.

All hell broke loose as people rushed towards her, crying and shouting, trying to stop her bleeding. Remy stepped back with a grim expression on his face. He saw her white dress rapidly stain crimson, and instinctively knew that she wouldn't make it – she was loosing too much blood, her wound was fatal.

He stood silently, watching the others, unsure of what to feel. Belladonna was a bitch, no doubt about that, but he hadn't wished her dead. Unfortunately, it didn't seem like there would have been any other way for him to get out of the wedding - he knew for a fact that she would have kept after him, hounding him, tormenting him. But now he was free, ironically due to her saving his life…

"_Elle est mort_ (She's dead)," Tante Mattie announced quietly, from where she had been tending to Belle.

Remy took one last look at her lying motionless on the floor, with Julien kneeling beside her, desperately shaking her body. He nodded sombrely, and whispered her a silent thank-you. Unnoticeably making his way around the swarm of people, he began to walk down the aisle and out of the church.

"Where y' t'ink y're goin', boy?" bellowed Marius in a rage, breaking away from the crowd around his dead daughter.

"'M getting' out o' here," he replied, leaving no room for negotiation. "Dis ain't m' mess."

"De hell it's not!" sputtered the head Assassin, and was about to continue when Jean-Luc approached them, clearing his throat and glaring at him.

"Dis ain't yo' place, Marius, he's _my_ son."

Marius glowered back and screamed, "I want him punished! Dis be his fault, _ma fille_ (my daughter) is dead because o' him!"

"No, dis is de fault o' _your_ son. Go deal wit' him, an' let m' deal wit' mine," commanded Jean-Luc.

The head of the Assassins continued to glare at his Thief counterpart for a while longer. "Dis ain't over," he swore ominously, and then reluctantly turned and stalked back to the altar.

Walking over to his son, the eldest LeBeau lowered his voice and began to speak. "Remy, y' can't jus' desert us like dis."

"_Oui, _I can an' I will," Remy stated vehemently. "Y' tol' m' dat as long as dis weddin' was goin' on, I had t' be here. I stayed, an' y' _know_ how much I didn' wan' t'! Well, it don' look like dere's a weddin' no mo', so 'm leavin'."

"I forbid it!" came the heated declaration. "Dis'll cause anot'er war b'tween de Guilds! Y're jus' goin' t' run away from yo' responsibilities again?"

"Open yo' eyes! Dere's _always_ been a war, not'in' will change dat. An' I have ot'er responsibilities dat are mo' important t' m' right now," he countered with an air of finality, recalling his promise to Rogue. It was one he was going to keep, one he _had_ to keep, no matter what.

Jean-Luc was seething. "Do y' realize what y're doin, _mon fils_? (my son?) Y're turnin' yo' back on yo' family."

"Let him go, _père_ (father)," Henri stated, coming up from behind and placing a restraining hand on Jean-Luc's arm. "We can handle dis wit'out him, y' know dat. He wants t' go back, an' he'll go whet'er y' let him or not."

Opening his mouth to argue, Jean-Luc took one look at the resolute expressions on the faces of both of his sons, and he shut it again. Snorting, he turned and walked away, disdainfully calling out over his shoulder, "I hope she's wort' it, Remy."

Henri shook his head at his father, and then turned to give his brother a sharp look. "She _is_ wort' it, right?"

_"Bien sûr _(Of course)_."_

"Y' know, 'm surprised y' stuck 'round dis long den."

"M' too," chuckled Remy.

He then took a moment to look at his brother, the man who had risked the wrath of both Guilds in trying to help him find a way out of the arrangement. It didn't matter that he hadn't succeeded, he had tried - and that meant a great deal to Remy. He wanted to thank him, but couldn't quite find the words.

Instead, he just smiled warmly and said, "_Merci beaucoup _(Thank you very much), Henri."

Henri nodded, and from the look in his eyes, Remy knew he understood. "Well, what y' waitin' f'r? Get goin'. Invite m' t' de weddin', 'kay? I'll be expectin' anot'er invitation t' be de best man, _comprends_? (understand?)" he joked.

Remy grinned and nodded. With that, he swiftly strode out of the church.

He reached the Thieves' estate in record time and raced to his room. He quickly changed out of his suit – something told him that showing up in it might not have been the best of ideas. It only took him seconds to pack his belongings – he had left behind all of his most prized possessions. Taking his motorcycle from the garage, Remy glanced back to take in the view of New Orleans, and then drove at top speeds towards New York – and Rogue. He couldn't wait to surprise his _chère_…

After a few minutes of driving, he noticed that the road ahead of him was getting foggy. What was going on? It was a beautiful day, it was strange to see fog appear of out nowhere… As Remy drove into the mist, everything became blurry - he could barely see anything around him. It seemed dangerous to continue, so he contemplated pulling over somewhere, or else he might not make it to Bayville. But…

'Why 'm I goin' t' Bayville again?' Remy wondered as he drove on, and the fog encompassed him.

* * *

Gosh, aren't weddings fun? Well, if Belle dies every time, I think they are…

Next chapter – We'll see what happened when Remy arrived in New Orleans.

My stars, do reviews ever make me smile. So how 'bout some more? They make me write a whole lot faster too, hint hint… ;-) Can we aim for 200? Come on, you can do it!

Toodles,

- ish -


	7. Guilt

**Disclaimer:** If you think I own the X-Men then you're obviously not the sharpest fish in the socket…

**A/N:** Yay, we beat 200! Fabutastic. Let's keep 'em coming! But first, some thanks. I hope they make sense, spray paint fumes have really been getting to me… Curse you, redecorating!

Star-of-Chaos, demiducky25, PomegranateQueen,Anamaniax, Vivid Butterfly, Crunchie Lettuce, RoguesTale,Ms.Rogue LeBeau, enchantedlight, flowerperson, TheRealMai,Sweety8587, texasgrrl, Rogue14, heartsyhawk, Pandora's Sorrow, EviltwinAlix, Carla-p, mollymo, and darkstorm5000 – Oh, my beloved fans… I think you all deserve a fruit basket. That's right, I'm going all out this time!

SweetRevenge151 – I'm trying to picture a fox wearing argyle socks, and it's amusing me to no end! It's like something out of a Dr. Seuss illustration… And good guess, but one chapter early. Well, you get half a gold star for being half right.

Orage – Hmm, was writing ROMY in capital letters an attempt at subliminally hinting for me to include more? ;-)

Neurotic Temptress – Hey, you can't be _too _insane yet. I mean, at least you realize that he _is _a fictional character, right?

Aro – A spork, eh? Shmeh, I'd be more worried if you had a knork… And wow, I could really feel your pain over Belle's demise. Methinks you're the perfect choice to give the eulogy!

Krys Xanthina – A life? What's that? I'm not familiar with that term.

Alyxandria – I'm your current favourite? I'm so flattered, I'm blushing! Thanks for that link – gander I did. Damn, what was up with Remy's hair and outfit? Ouch, they really hurt me.

Peace215 – More flattery! I'm loving this. Don't bother looking for your book of praises, you're doing just fine without it!

Krac – Welcome to the 2004 ASS Awards – Assassins of Superior Skills. Finally, the moment we've all been waiting for - The Golden Dagger Award for Assassin of the Year goes to… (drumroll) Julien Boudreaux!

Speck – Ninja kangaroos? Huh. Lemme guess, they'll steal my plot and hide it in their pouches, right? Eww, then it'll get all slimy, and it won't be of use to anybody!

Calliann – Well, your extra effort for two reviews is much appreciated – and it made you #200! Huzzah! (confetti and streamers fall from the ceiling) Have some celebratory cake - yummers! I've gotta ask – is your new fic, what with the memory problems and all, payback for this one? Admit it…;-)

melancholic – Math ruins all. You like #202? Glad you're easily amused. I'm happy I changed your mind, I'm awed at my power! But me telling you what I'll change will ensure that you're _not _surprised! Where's the fun in that? I think I'll have to take my chances against your pitchfork. Now a rake would be a different story… I just don't like rakes.

Okay, back into Remy's mind we go… Remember, we're moving backwards, hopefully nobody will get too queasy.

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 7 – Guilt**

_"I would forget it fain,  
But O, it presses to my memory  
Like damned guilty deeds to sinners' minds."  
__- William Shakespeare_

Thinking he had heard somebody behind him talking of a rogue, Remy turned around in his seat and inconspicuously scanned the bar. There was nothing out of the ordinary, nobody that caught his attention.

'Must have been 'maginin' t'ings,' he decided, and twisted back to face his drink. It had just been desperate, wishful thinking on his part.

Remy, Henri, and Emil were out celebrating their successful appropriations – as always, there were many tourists wandering around the French Quarter, their wallets bulging and ripe for the picking. Now the boys were sitting around a table, drinking, laughing and relaxing after the day's work. Well, Henri and Emil were – Remy just sat there nursing his bourbon, gazing dejectedly around the room.

He missed her. He kept looking in the crowd, hoping to see her, wishing that she would just magically appear, that maybe she had come to find him… But he knew that wouldn't happen, and it just depressed him even more. It bothered Remy to no end that he was in the Big Easy picking pockets and drinking away his sorrow when he should be in Bayville, with Rogue in his arms. It was like he was just sitting and waiting for the inevitable to happen, and it wasn't a feeling he was partial to.

His family and friends had noticed his rather brooding attitude, so finally Henri brought it up. "Hey Remy, somet'in' de matter? Y're not flirtin' wit' anybody f'r once."

"Yeah," laughed Emil. "What's wrong, lost yo' touch? Or are y' actually goin' t' be loyal t' Belle?"

Remy scoffed. He'd let her think that – in reality, he'd be exercising his loyalty to another.

"Seriously, _frère_ (brother), what's de problem? Y' haven't been de same since y' came back home," observed Henri.

"Dat's true, he'd usually be flirtin' wit' anyt'in' dat moves," added Emil, as he winked at a tall, blonde woman walking by.

"Not'in's wrong," insisted Remy, not in the mood to share anything.

"We ain't leavin' dis table 'til we find out."

"Dat's right. Lemme get some mo' drinks, an' we'll get it out o' y'."

As their cousin made his way towards the bar, Henri carefully scrutinized his brother – his elbows were on the table and he propped his head up with his hands, looking glum. He had a perpetual frown on his face and his eyes were dim, not glowing brightly like when he was excited or passionate about something. They hadn't done so ever since his return to the South.

"_Quoi_? (What?)," scowled an annoyed Remy, unnerved with Henri's close inspection of him.

"We're worried 'bout y', Remy. It's obvious dat somet'in's wrong. Must be serious t' have de self-proclaimed 'King o' Hearts' out o' commission, neh?"

He winced at hearing his old moniker… He remembered Rogue calling him that, and it caused his mind to flood with thoughts of her again. Remy wasn't that person anymore – now he was the King of only one heart.

Emil returned to the table and placed more bourbon down, glasses clinking. "Alright, coz, tell us what yo' problem is."

Remy snorted in response. "Lapin, in case y' hadn't noticed, y' ain't some psychiatrist. I don' want y' handlin' m' problems, y're definitely not qualified."

Lapin gasped in mock hurt, while Henri just rolled his eyes. Shoving a shot glass towards his brother, he ordered, "Drink up."

The two plied Remy with more alcohol, all the while pestering him about what was the matter. It was annoying – it wasn't as if they could do much to help him… Finally, he'd had enough.

"_Merde,_ if I tell y', will y' two shut up?" Remy ground out in frustration.

"Dat's all we ever wanted," grinned Lapin.

Remy tossed back another shot. He felt the alcohol flowing through his bloodstream, warming up his body and loosening his lips. "I don' want t' get married," he finally told them with a sigh.

Emil blinked at his fairly anticlimactic revelation. "Well, o' course y' don'. Who'd want t' marry Belladonna?"

"It's not I don' want t'," he frowned. "I mean, I _don't _want t', but I _can't_. I can't go t'rough wit' it."

"Why not?"

"Dere's someone else."

"Dere's always someone else," Henri commented flippantly. "Who's yo' girl o' de hour now?"

"It's not like dat," Remy spat out, taking offence at the words. He had indeed flitted from woman to woman before he met Rogue – he had been willing to admit it then, going so far as to brag and be proud about it, but now… Now, he felt ashamed of it. His _chère_ had certainly changed him for the better…

"Den what's it like?"

He braced himself for their reactions. "'M in love," Remy revealed warily – back up North he would have joyfully screamed that news from the rooftops, but now, in the war zone that was the streets of New Orleans, he was cautious with whom he revealed it to.

If he wasn't so unhappy with the situation, Remy would have laughed at the responses that his admission caused. Henri's jaw had dropped open in shock, and Lapin was choking on the drink he'd had in his mouth.

Remy reached over and slapped Emil hard on the back. "Y'alright dere, _homme_?"

"_Oui_," he wheezed out, gasping for air.

There was silence between the three of them for a few moments, and Remy became uncomfortable. "_Quoi!_"

"Wow," chuckled an amazed Henri, and then began to laugh loudly. "I never t'ought I'd live t' see dis day!"

"I don' believe it," breathed Emil. "Who is she?"

Remy reached for his picture of Rogue – it was in the safest place in the world, a thief's wallet. He placed it on the table in front of them, and joined the other two in examining it. He'd been looking at it daily, he would never get tired of staring at it… He just missed her so much.

It showed Rogue sitting on his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck and his around her waist. Their foreheads were pressed together, and they were both smiling and gazing into each other's eyes. Kitty had just bought a digital camera and had been trying to figure out how it worked – she found them lounging outside, and asked them to pose for her. They obliged, but it had taken her so long to figure out which buttons to press that they had broken their positions and started laughing – she ended up accidentally taking the picture then, but Remy thought it was perfect. To him it captured the reality of their relationship, the ease and comfort they had with each other – it wasn't them posing or posturing, it was _truly_ them.

"Dat's _mon amour,_ Rogue," he explained. "Met her in New York."

Lapin gave an impressed whistle and picked up the photo for a closer examination. "_Merde_, now dat is one _belle_ _femme_."

"_Oui_, she is, but hands off," Remy growled, snatching back the picture. "She's mine."

"Does she have a twin sister den?"

Pointedly ignoring him, Henri smiled at his brother. "_Félicitations_ (congratulations), Remy. Glad y' found someone dat makes y' happy."

"Don' congratulate m' yet," he grimaced. "Supposed t' get married t' someone else, remember? Y' know _père_ an' Marius, dey're not goin' t' just let it go."

"Dat's f'r sure," agreed Emil. "So why de hell are y' here? Wouldn' expect y' t' come back if y' got her back up nort'."

"Had t'," Remy mumbled morosely. "I promised Rogue dat I'd get out o' de marriage. Not really good f'r a relationship t' be engaged t' someone else, tu sais? (you know?) B'sides, I can't jus' leave – Belle would go after m', she's not lettin' m' go dat easy."

"Y' got yo'self int' a nice mess, Remy," remarked Henri, shaking his head.

"Don' I know it."

"Hate t' sound negative, but it don' look like dere's much we can do t' help y', Remy," mused Lapin.

"I can't marry Belle, I jus' can't."

"But y' might have t'. Y' might have t' fo'get 'bout yo' Rogue."

"Some friend y' are!" Henri exclaimed, punching his cousin in the arm. "Y've obviously never been in love! Y' don' jus' fo'get 'bout de person… _Couillon_ (Idiot)."

"'M in love wit' every pretty _fille _(girl) dat walks by," Lapin joked.

Henri retorted with a smack to the back of Emil's head. "We'll do our best t' help him, it's de least we can do."

"How de hell will we do dat? I want t' help Remy as much as y' do, but dis be bot' Guilds we'll be goin' against!"

They continued to argue as Remy sat there, not listening – his mind had begun to buzz as soon as he heard Lapin mention the word 'forget'. Why? It struck him that there was something important he needed to know regarding it, but what? He wracked his brain, but everything seemed rather fuzzy – it must have been the alcohol...

Forget… Forget about her… He couldn't do that. He'd never do that… Yet something about that seemed wrong to him, it was _off_ somehow. Dammit, what was it? Then it slowly came to him – he _was_. That was it, he was erasing Rogue.

'Lapin was right, I should've just fo'got 'bout her,' he thought bitterly as he downed another shot, and watched the bar become increasingly more blurry.

- X -

Remy walked through the loud, crowded streets of New Orleans. He would have enjoyed being back in his hometown, taking in the sights and smells and sounds, had it not been under these circumstances.

Ducking into an alleyway, he leaned against the brick wall and sighed. He was craving a cigarette, but he didn't have any – he had quit because Rogue had said the habit was disgusting. Remy smiled at that thought, and then ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He couldn't stand being without her much longer…

"What's de matter, _mon amour_, y' miss yo' little _mouffette_ (skunk)?" came a snide voice in front of him.

Looking up, Remy saw Belladonna standing there, hands on her hips, and a mocking smirk on her face. He glared at her, not about to dignify her comment with a response.

"Glad t' see y' here, Remy," she continued. "Almos' t'ought y' wouldn' come back."

"Not like I had much o' a choice, did I?" he muttered.

She grinned wickedly. "Dat's true! Y' wouldn' want m' payin' y' anot'er little visit, would y'? Don't know what y' were t'inkin', Remy, tryin' t' stay away from our weddin' like dat."

"Was t'inkin' dat dere's no way in hell I'd marry y'," Remy replied coolly, pleased as Belle took insult to his words and narrowed her eyes.

"Hate t' break it t' y', but y' _will_marry m'," she hissed. She stepped closer and glared at him, placing her hands on his chest and shoving him harder back into the wall. "Try all y' want t' get out o' it, but it won't work. I've worked hard t' make sure dis weddin' will happen, an' t' make sure y' came back – so get o'er dat _fille_ o' yours, an' accept de fact dat y'll be _mon mari_ (my husband)!"

"_Jamais_ (Never)," he spat out, glaring right back, his eyes glowing in anger.

Out of the blue, Belle leaned up and kissed him. Grabbing her shoulders, Remy roughly pushed her off him – he didn't want to touch her, he wouldn't betray Rogue in any way. He already felt a tiny twinge of guilt for that fleeting kiss. "Stop, Belle," he gruffly ordered her. "Dat ain' gonna work."

"Why not?" she whispered, pouting in what she believed was a seductive manner.

"Cause y're not Rogue."

"Oh, please!" she scoffed. "Give it up! Y' t'ink dat girl still wants anyt'in' t' do wit' y'? She must've been pretty hurt, henh?"

Remy glowered. "We love each ot'er, Belle, y' can't change dat."

"Oh, but I t'ink I did! I doubt she still feels de same way 'bout y', _cher_," she taunted him. "Y' don' have her anymo'! Y' lied t' her, y' hurt her, she ain't yours no mo'!"

"She'll always be mine," Remy ground out, aggravated beyond belief at Belladonna's words. It pained him to admit it, but she was partially right, he _had _hurt her… But surely, she wasn't right about the rest…

"Well, _you_, Remy LeBeau, will be _mine_," she purred, running her hands along him. "You'll fo'get 'bout her after y' wake up wit' me beside y'…"

That made him pause – there was something important about that word. What was it? Forget… Remy immersed himself in his thoughts, not responding to Belle's comments. Not hearing any complaints, she pressed herself to him and kissed him once more.

Remy tensed when her lips touched his. He was about to push her away again, when it came to him – he was forgetting Rogue… He was forgetting Rogue because she forgot him, she had given up on him, she had replaced him. Now he remembered… So he closed his eyes, and let Belle continue to kiss him.

It didn't matter, she was with Pietro now, he was only doing the same thing she did. It was payback… But then why did he feel bad about it, why couldn't he get Rogue out of his head? He could only think of how Belle's lips weren't as soft as hers, or how Rogue's kisses tasted sweeter… The guilt was stronger this time, but Remy tried to ignore it.

'B'sides,' he tried to reason. 'It didn' really happen dis way, dis is jus' in m' mind.'

That thought didn't do much to assuage his feelings. As he slowly opened his eyes, he could see the alley beginning to fade away, and wished it would hurry up.

- X -

Zooming in through the gates of the Guild estate, Remy skidded to a stop and leapt off his motorcycle. He hadn't been home in a long time, but he had more important things to do than look around and reminisce. He ran inside, not even greeting Tante Mattie as she stood in the doorway – she remained silent, knowing better than to get in his way when he was clearly in such a furious mood.

He stormed up the stairs, and towards his father's office. Without knocking, he yanked open the door and barged inside.

Looking up from his papers in surprise, Jean-Luc raised an eyebrow. "Ahh, y're back. Nice t' see y' again, _mon fils_."

"Dat's it? Dat's all y' have t' say t' me?" Remy shouted incredulously.

"What's wrong wit' y'?"

"Wit' me? What de hell's wrong wit' y'? Y' sent Belle t' New York after me? Why'd y' do dat!"

Curiously watching his son pace back and forth across the room, Jean-Luc rose from his seat and walked around to the front of his desk. "Calm down, Remy. It wasn' m' idea t' send Belle. She was gettin' impatient – yo' contract wit' Magneto was over an' y' didn' come back, so she t'ought y' never would. Marius t'ought de same - dey said it was time t' put de agreement in motion, so he sent her after y'."

"I refuse t' go t'rough wit' dis!" he exclaimed, shaking his head violently.

"_Excusez-moi?_," questioned Jean-Luc, as if unsure of what he was hearing.

"Y' heard me! I won't marry Belle!"

The Guild leader stared at his son in utter confusion. "Dis has been arranged fo' years, y' have t' do dis! Y' were never so dead set against it b'fo', why is dis such a problem _maintenant_? (now?) Y' get a _belle_ wife an' secure peace b'tween de Guilds, why is dat so bad?"

"It's bad because it ruined everyt'in'!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, the emotions of the past few days building up inside of him and preparing to burst. "Evert'in' dat we spent over a year buildin', everyt'in' we had t'get'er, an' now it'll all be f'r not'in'!"

Jean-Luc remained silent, but realization slowly dawned in his eyes. "We?" he asked quietly.

"_Oui_. Me an' Rogue. M' girlfriend," came the sullen answer.

"Y' mean y' actually settled wit' one _fille_ long enough t' consider her a girlfriend?" he commented amusedly.

"_Oui_, I did. I love her. I don' love Belle, I never did. I won' marry her," Remy stated resolutely, ignoring his father's veiled insult.

Frowning, Jean-Luc sighed regretfully. "_Je suis désolé _(I'm sorry),Remy, but dat don' matter. Y' have t' marry Belladonna, I can't back out o' de deal. We need dis, t' secure peace f'r us, y' know dat."

"Y' can't change it? Dere has t' be somet'in' y' can do!" his son begged, refusing to believe that.

"_Non_, I can't. Dere's not'in'."

Remy took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. "I still won' go t'rough wit' it."

"Y' have t'," insisted his father. "If y' don'… Both Guilds will be furious - y' might get exiled, or even killed… Please, do dis Remy. It's f'r de good o' everybody."

"What about _my_ good? What about _my_ happiness? Don' I matter!" yelled Remy, stepping up to the older man and staring him down.

To his credit, Jean-Luc didn't flinch under his son's intense glare. "'M sorry, Remy, really, but dis is out o' m' hands! As long as de weddin's still on, y' have t' be here, an' y' have t' marry her. Dat's final."

Remy was about to argue further, but saw the resolved look in his father's eyes and knew it was futile. Jean-Luc could be just as stubborn as he was, neither would budge in their position. Refusing to waste his breath, he clenched his jaw, whipped around and angrily strode towards the door.

"Remy?" called out the Guild patriarch a second later, and the young man paused. "Yo' best bet is t' fo'get about her."

Remy's entire body stiffened, and his hands clenched into fists. "I am," he muttered, walking out into the blurring hallway as the office disappeared behind him.

* * *

Hmm, so Remy's remembering what he's doing, eh? Interesting, _very_ interesting…

Next chapter – finally, we find out what happened when Remy left Rogue!

Onto the customary plea for reviews! My goal is to beat the amount I had for 'February Fifteenth', which currently stands at 750… So let's get reviewing, people, we've got a lot to go! Pretty please? It'll make my day(s). ;-)

Toodles,

- ish -


	8. Leaving

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing! Not the X-Men, not even the computer I'm typing this on… How depressing.

**A/N:** Ahh, seems like everybody loves a dead Belle. Glad I could make the world a better place. ;-) Onto the reviews…

Calliann, Orage, demiducky25, ASGT and Kat Maximoff, PomegranateQueen, EviltwinAlix, Pyro Lady, TheRealMai, Rogue14, darkstorm5000, Vivid Butterfly, Ms. Rogue LeBeau, enchantedlight, texasgrrl,Anamaniax, and Dreamcatcher89 – Oh, your kind words make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside… So have a snowglobe. I don't know what relation there is between those two thoughts, but I just like them.

Lady Aurra – I have read it, and wow, that's the greatest compliment I've ever received! Unless this fic reminds of you if it in a _bad_ way… I sure hope not. ;-)

flowerperson – ETA in present time is about 10 chapters or so, give or take a few. Depends on how much I ramble and how many new ideas I get. So yeah, we've got a bunch of stuff to cover!

SweetRevenge151 – Update twins, eh? So, where's yours? ;-)

melancholic – You _should_ feel guilty! And such a short review… I've got nothing to work with here! ;-) Shmeh, blame the math. It's always the math's fault, it's clearly the work of the Devil.

Alyxandria – Hah, a Remy vs. Jean-Luc smackdown? I'd pay to see that… Especially if Remy was wearing those tiny spandex wrestling outfits! Not so much Jean-Luc, cuz that'd just be kinda creepy.

Star-of-Chaos – Well, could you _really_ blame them for wanting Remy? I mean, he is one sexy muffin!

Peace215 – Yeah, it did burn, I couldn't stand writing that… Oh, the things I do for the sake of plot! Thanks for the cookie. I call them bakies, cuz you don't cook cookies, you bake them! It's false advertising.

Lightspeed Suzuka – Hey, I _did_ respond to your review in Chapter 5! So there. (ish sticks tongue out at Suzukas, but can't stand to see them cry)

heartsyhawk – Hah, ugly tree. And then after she fell out of it, she got beaten with an ugly stick! Oh yeah, definitely no sympathy for her… Wench. Glad I could spread the hatred. No, you're not a dork – and as for your brain pain, he won't remember that he forgot her cuz he's only remembering that he's forgetting her because he still remembers some of her, but when she's completely forgotten he can't possibly remember that he forgot her because there's no her to remember! Hah. That made sense in _my_ head…

Okey dokey! Have some in-flight peanuts to much on, and off we go.

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 8 – Leaving**

_"Never forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave." – A.A. Milne_

The few things Remy had packed were now in his duffel bag, tied onto the back of his motorcycle. It was parked outside the Xavier Institute, his last stop before New Orleans. He sighed. He couldn't believe what had happened, that things could go downhill so quickly… He honestly couldn't believe he was going back.

He climbed a tree, dropped down onto the property, and stealthily made his way past the cameras, sensors, and motion detectors – if Rogue had told anybody what had happened, he didn't want their looks of anger and disgust too. He had a feeling that he would be getting enough from her already. He just hoped he could make her understand…

Making his way onto her balcony, Remy peeked in through the door. The room was dim, with only her bedside lamp giving light, but he could see her lying on her bed, head buried in her pillow. Thankfully, her roommate wasn't in – now he had a chance to talk to her and explain things without her running away.

Reaching for the doorknob, Remy frowned when he found it was locked. She never locked her door, even after jokingly complaining that he snuck in all time… She was furious at him. Skilfully picking the lock, seconds later he entered her room.

Rogue still hadn't noticed he was there, she hadn't moved from her position. Making his way over to her side, Remy reached out a hand and gently placed it on her shoulder.

"_Chère_?" he asked in a soft voice.

Startled at the intrusion, Rogue gasped and rolled over on her bed. Catching sight of her tear-stained face wrenched Remy's heart even more.

"Don't '_chère_' meh, Gambit," she said coldly, glowering at him and inching away from where he stood.

He winced at her frosty tone of voice, and the fact that she called him Gambit – she never used that name, except when she was mad at him. Then again, he supposed he deserved it.

"Please, Rogue, let m' explain…" Remy begged, walking around the bed towards her, reaching out a hand.

"No! No, go away, just leave meh alone!" she exclaimed, back up from him again.

"Rogue- " he tried again, but to no avail.

"NO!" she screamed. "Don't come any closer, don't yah dare touch meh!"

Remy stopped in his tracks, stinging from her words. "Fine," he sighed, raising his hands in a peaceful gesture. "But 'm not leavin'. I need t' talk t' y'."

"Ah don't wanna hear anythin' yah have to say to meh!"

"Dat's too bad, cause 'm not goin' until y' hear m' out."

Rogue gave him a glare that chilled him to the bone – she hadn't even bestowed one that hostile upon him when he was first trying to woo her. "Talk fast," she spat out. "Yah're really not mah favourite person right now."

His hopes rose at the fact she was actually giving him a chance. "Rogue, _chère_, listen, I swear, I didn' mean f'r dis t' happen," he began, but she interrupted him.

"Yah mean yah just didn't wanna get caught!"

Remy took a deep, steadying breath – this would take all of his patience. As much as he admired Rogue's fiery spirit and determination, sometimes she was a bit too stubborn. "No, _chère_, dat's not it."

"Then what is it?" she scoffed, crossing her arms and looking down at the floor.

"It was an arranged marriage, t' ensure peace b'tween de Guilds. Dat's why I came t' New York, t' get away from it. I don' want t' marry Belladonna, I never have. I don' love her."

Her breath catching in her throat, Rogue looked up at him with suspicious but hopeful eyes. "Really?" she whispered.

"Really," he affirmed, nodding his head. "I love y', y' know dat."

Her eyes darkened at his words, and she looked away again. "How can Ah believe that?" she cried. "You've been lyin' to meh this whole time!"

"_Non, chère, _I wasn' lyin', I just didn' tell y' about her…" Remy started in an ashamed tone.

"Same difference," Rogue snorted.

"Can y' blame me? Look how y're reactin'!"

"Can yah blame _me_? Ah just found out that mah boyfriend is engaged to another woman! People don't exactly take that kind of news well!" she screeched.

"Dat's why I couldn' tell y'!" he yelled back, and then tried to calm down. "I couldn' tell y'. Y're de best t'ing dat's ever happened t' me, Rogue. I couldn' risk loosin' y'."

"Yah should've told meh! Yah tellin' meh would've been better than meh findin' out like Ah did!"

"I know… 'm sorry, 'm so sorry. I was scared, _chère_. I love y', I didn' wan' t' tell y' an' ruin what we had."

Rogue sniffled, but still wouldn't look at him. "How am Ah supposed to believe that, Remy? How am Ah supposed to trust anythin' yah say?"

Remy winced at the hurt her words sent through him, but tried to push it aside. She had called him by his real name - that was a positive sign. He slowly inched towards her, but Rogue moved backwards. He kept going until she reached the wall, and had nowhere else to go.

Stepping right up to her, he reached out a hand and put it to Rogue's chin, tilting her head towards his. "Look at me, _chère_," he softly requested.

She did, her watery eyes looking into his own apologetic ones, as he bared his soul for her.

"I love y' Rogue, mo' den anyt'in'. I t'ink in yo' heart y' know dat, just like I know dat y' love m' too. Dis is real, _chère_, what we have b'tween us. Please don' let m' mistake ruin dis," he confessed passionately. Cupping her cheek with his bare hand, Remy continued. "I know I was wrong, I screwed up, but please don' doubt m' love f'r y'. I'll prove it t' y' if I have t', jus' don' doubt it, don' doubt me."

Rogue's green eyes widened in realization, as the meaning behind his words sunk in. He was offering to let her absorb him, so she could know the truth. Remy stood there patiently, unafraid, staring directly into his _amour's_ eyes. His thumb stroked her soft skin as he waited for her to turn on her powers – if this is what it took to convince her, he'd do it willingly, he'd do anything for her.

He braced himself as a tear trickled down her face and she closed her eyes, assuming that she was about to begin – he was utterly surprised when instead, Rogue flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and burrowing her head into his chest, sobbing. Remy sighed in relief, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly in return. He couldn't believe the faith she had in him…

"I love y', Rogue," he murmured gently in her ear, running a comforting hand up and down her back.

"I love yah too, Remy," she replied, answer muffled by his shirt and trench coat.

They just held each other like that for a long time, neither wanting to let go. Eventually Rogue pulled back and looked up at Remy. "Ah hate to ask," she mumbled with an apprehensive expression. "But what are yah gonna do about Belladonna?"

He grimaced, hating to give her more bad news. "I have t' go back, _chère_."

Remy couldn't bear the look of disappointment on Rogue's face when he spoke those words – the sparkle of life and passion she always had in her eyes dimmed, like a flame had just been extinguished. She took a step away from him and wrapped her arms around her body, as if in a futile attempt to comfort herself. "Course yah do," she muttered, eyes downcast.

"I don' wan' t', believe me, but I have no choice," he told her, running his hand up her arm to rest on her shoulder. "'M gonna go an' settle dis, call off de arrangement, an' I'll be back, I promise."

"Sure," came the wholly unconvinced response.

"I swear, I'll come back f'r y', Rogue," Remy declared, but then furrowed his brow as a thought struck him. Then he quietly grumbled, "Not dat it'll do much good."

"Huh?" questioned Rogue, raising her head. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothin'," replied Remy, withdrawing his hand and stepping away with a scowl. "Just dat I wish I didn' make dat promise - I wouldn' have had t' come back t' y' not rememberin' me!"

"What th' hell are yah talkin' 'bout?"

"Y' erased m' from yo' memories, Rogue," he informed her resentfully. "So much f'r all dat 'love' crap, henh? Guess y' didn' love me as much as I t'ought."

"Hey, don't blame this all on meh!" she exclaimed indignantly.

"Why not? Y're de one who erased me, so now 'm doin' it t' y'!"

"Serves yah right! Look what yah did to meh first!"

"I _told_ y' dat I'd be back, I apologized! I t'ought everyt'in' would be okay!"

"How could it be okay? Yah crushed meh an' headed off to a marriage with another woman! How can yah blame meh when yah're th' one who broke mah heart?!"

Remy stumbled back at those words, stopping their screaming match. He had broken her heart… He had swore that he'd never hurt her, but he did, and it appeared to be beyond repair…

He looked up at Rogue, her angry green eyes blazing. "Y' broke m' heart too, Rogue," he divulged dismally, turning around and walking towards the balcony door. "I guess we're even den."

Jumping off the balcony, Remy dejectedly walked back to his motorcycle, just as he had that night. Stopping at a batch of trees at the end of the property, he turned and took one last look behind him. He saw Rogue staring out the window at him, hand pressed to the glass, as if trying to reach out and touch him. He could have sworn his sharp eyes saw a tear rolling down her cheek, but when he looked again, he couldn't make anything out. The fog was rolling in – it blocked her from his view, and soon surrounded him.

- X -

As Remy walked by the playground, he frowned and looked at the children playing. He thought he had just heard someone scream something about a broken heart… No, that was silly. He continued along the path, and the thought was pushed out of his head as soon as he saw his _chère_.

She was lying on one of the park benches, stretched out and looking up at the clear blue sky. He stopped to admire her for a second, but then the melting substances in his hands prompted him to hurry up.

He silently crept over to her and leaned over the bench, gazing into her eyes.

"Yah're blockin' th' view, swamp rat!" Rogue complained good-naturedly as she pulled herself up.

"I _am _de view, _chère_," he smirked, and sat down beside her.

"Now why would Ah wanna look at yah all day?" she mused jokingly, pinching his cheek like an elderly lady would a grandchild.

Remy gasped dramatically. "Y' wound me! Y' should be mo' polite, or y' won' get no ice cream," he teased, as he held the cones in his hands just out of reach.

"Ooh!" squealed Rogue as her eyes lit up, following the frozen treats as he moved them from side to side in front of her. She was just about to grab one when Remy pulled it back.

"Nuh-uh, y' weren' very nice t' poor Remy, why should he give y' some ice cream?"

Desperate for her snack, Rogue decided to play along. "Fine. Ah'm _so _sorry, Rem, of _course _Ah'd wanna stare at yah all day," she told him sarcastically.

"Dunno, dat didn' sound too sincere…"

She mock-glared at him, and he knew better than to continue teasing her. If he did, he would probably end up with ice cream dripping down his face… Grinning, he handed over one of the cones, and the pair began to eat them in a comfortable silence.

Glancing over at her, Remy began to regret his choice in desserts. Watching Rogue run her tongue slowly up and down the cone was causing him to become more than a little excited…

She looked over at him intently watching her and raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "What?"

"Nothin'," he smirked, not tearing his vision away from her mouth. "Just t'inkin' o' some better uses f'r dat tongue…"

Rolling her eyes, she smacked his shoulder and continued eating – this time sending him a suspicious stare every few seconds. Chuckling, Remy turned back to his own cone too.

"Well, ain' dis quaint?" a scornful voice suddenly piped up.

Remy started in realization, instantly recognizing it. He paled as he looked up and saw Belladonna standing in front of them, dropping his ice cream in shock. Jumping to his feet, he swiftly charged a card and held it out in front of him – at the same time he moved in front of Rogue, ready in case the Assassin would make a move.

She didn't budge – she just remained in place with a disdainful expression on her face, eyeing Rogue with distaste, like she was muck at the bottom of the swamp. "Nice hair," Belle snorted derisively, looking the other girl up and down.

"Aww, thanks sugah, Ah grew it mahself," replied Rogue in an insincere saccharine tone, narrowing her eyes. Despite the gravity of the situation, her spunky attitude made Remy smirk within.

"What de hell are y' doin' here, Belle?" he then demanded harshly, internally panicking at the sight of his fiancée and what she might say or do.

"Came t' take y' back home," came her response, complete with a sly smile. "Y' know why…" she continued in a sing-song voice, clearly enjoying the little game she was playing with him.

"Belle…" he told her warningly.

"Dat de reason y're stickin' around here?" she jeered, tilting her head towards Rogue. "Don' know what in de world y're t'inkin'…"

"Who do yah think yah are?" Rogue sneered right back, getting up from the bench in anger.

"'M his fiancée," she enlightened her with a malicious grin, before Remy could stop her from speaking.

"W-what?" stuttered Rogue in shock, stumbling back a few steps. He automatically reached out to steady her, but she raised her hand to stop him.

"Rogue, _chère_, it's not what it sounds like," Remy stammered quickly, extending an arm out to her, but she slapped it away.

"Is it true?" she whispered, looking at him with tearful eyes that pained his heart.

"De weddin's bein' planned as we speak," Belle informed them gleefully.

"_Remy_," Rogue stressed, and repeated her question in a quiet, almost defeated voice. "Is it true?"

He looked at her regretfully, and sighed. "_Oui, chère, _but- "

He didn't have a chance to finish as Rogue abruptly took off running out of the park.

"_Chère_, wait!" Remy cried off and dashed after her.

"See y' back in N'Awlins, Remy!" Belle called out cheerfully after them, a wicked smirk gracing her face.

Remy had to fight the urge to turn back and throw a charged card at her, but explaining this fiasco to Rogue was more important. "Rogue, please, stop!" he yelled as he continued to chase her. "Dis ain' what y' t'ink!"

She didn't stop, she never even looked back, she just continued to run away from him. Remy followed her through the park, shouting to her, but it did no good. As he kept after her, he noticed the trees around him blurring – a few strides later he realized what was happening, and stopped.

"Y' know what? Fine!" he bellowed, watching her grow smaller and smaller in the distance. "Just run off, run away from yo' problems like y' always do!"

He stood there, watching her go, watching everything around him fade. "I'm erasing y'!" Remy screamed, a tear escaping and falling down his face. "I hope y're happy now, cause I will be!" he added, unsure if it was an attempt to spite her or convince himself. He just hoped she would turn around and come back, but she didn't – she was too far gone, she had disappeared.

* * *

Sigh…

Next chapter – What you've all been waiting for! Finally, some Romy happiness. We'll see how they were _before_ all the angst and badness.

I've got a confession to make… My name is ishandahalf, and I'm addicted to reviews. I need them to live! So please, _please_, won't you let me live?! ;-)

Toodles,

- ish -


	9. Realities

**Disclaimer:** Maybe I can switch bodies with Stan Lee, and then I'll finally own the X-Men… but until somebody lends me a Body-Switching machine, the X-Men still aren't mine.

**A/N:** There was quite a fiasco while trying to type this chapter out, when my keyboard stopped working. We were panicking, trying to reinstall the drivers and checking USB ports and all that stuff… Turns out it was just unplugged. I really hate technology sometimes… That, and I'm an idiot. But enough of that – onto the review responses!

Personage, demiducky25, Anamaniax, flowerperson,Sweety8587, RoguesTale, Ms. Rogue LeBeau, EviltwinAlix,heartsyhawk, Rogue14, Lady Aurra, Dreamcatcher89, darkstorm5000,Red Eyed Cajun, and enchantedlight – Everybody gets a thank-you pumpkin. I know, they're not in season, but they're just fun! Pleasantly orange.

cool-chick-rae – I've seen King Arthur, Spiderman just bothers me, and I haven't seen the Butterfly Effect yet. But what exactly puzzles you? Maybe I can explain.

Lightspeed Suzuka – Thanks, I'll definitely take out my frustrations on the Pietro Plushie. In return, have some happiness! Yay… Anything to stop the tears, they make me wanna cry too… Sigh.

Neurotic Temptress – Hey, whatever doesn't kill them can only make them stronger, right? And don't worry, I have no intention of killing them… This time. Bwa ha ha!

SweetRevenge151 – I'm sorry about your crappy week. Hope this cheers you up!

Peace215 – Don't worry, I think I'm already torturing you enough with having memories erased and Pietro in the mix, so there'll be no long wait for kissing! Huzzah.

Pyro Lady – Erasing his memories is the largest part of the story, I predict another 10 chapters or so.

ladychopsticks – Happy birthday! Will this suffice as a present?

angyxoxo – Glad you caught up! Hmm, 'bozo' seems to be your Remy descriptor of choice… Well, he's being a guy, what more can I say? Yes, I did come through with the Belle killing – will you do the same in 'Shouldn't Be So Hard'? Hint hint… ;-) I _did _read the preview of the Rogue series, and it _physically hurts me_. ARGH! Just WHAT are Marvel thinking? Oh, I am _SO_ joining you in the hatred… If they break up, I_swear_ I will cry, I'm that pathetic.

Orage – You didn't miss it – Remy isn't actually an X-Man, it's sorta mentioned in this chappy.

Magz – Thanks! But I hate to break it to ya that there's fluff coming up… Although, it's fluff with a dark, depressing cloud of drama and angst floating over it, if that helps?

TheRealMai – To clear up your confusion, when Remy told Rogue that he was erasing her, Rogue was only explaining why she _could_ see herself doing that, due to the memories of the hurt she had at that point in time – she hadn't planned to do it yet, she was just responding to what he said to her. And voila, you have a solo response!

PomegranateQueen – I've got your 'before happy' right there, but you'll just have to wait for the 'after happy'! It'll be worth it, I promise. Hah, that just makes me think of infomercials, with the before and after testimonials – too bad they just can't send in 3 easy payments of 49.99, eh? And they get a 30 day refund on their happiness too.

PsychoRomyChica – She really did die (hallelujah!), but was in 8 because the memories are going backwards, so she wasn't dead yet.

Aro – You had me _very_ worried there, with your sarcasm… See, that's why I hate the written word, you just _cannot_ convey sarcasm well! Conversely, I wish people could talk in italics.

Alyxandria – Sanity? What's that? I've embraced my _in_sanity, and I'm quite content with that. ;-)

ak – I like bananas and aardvarks (although not as much as anteaters, what with their funny noses and fluffy tails), so gold stars for you! Glad you were able to help me live. I've grown rather fond of living…

So. Huzzah, some happy Romy! It felt so good to finally write this…

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 9 – Realities**

_"Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again." – Willa Cather_

Remy lay stretched out on Rogue's bed – he would have preferred to be engaged in more amorous activities, especially given his present location, but instead, he was waiting. With his arms resting behind his head, he appeared to be completely relaxed, without a care in the world.

Many people would have thought him to be crazy, being so comfortable in the house of his former adversaries, but he knew he had nothing to worry about. His contract with Magneto was over, so technically, he was no longer an enemy of the X-Men. Most of them had grown accustomed to his relationship with Rogue, meeting it with a sort of grudging acceptance, so he knew there was no threat posed to him – in fact, the X-Men were probably in more danger from Rogue if they did anything to him.

Smirking, Remy imagined the amusing scenario of Rogue threatening her teammates if they threatened him as he continued to pass the time until his _chère_ returned. She wasn't there when he had snuck into her room, so he decided to wait – he hadn't seen her yet today, and it was always hard to go even a single day without catching a glimpse of her.

He gave a contented sigh. 'Whatever happened t' de King o' Hearts, who never waited around f'r de _femmes_?' he wondered, but was interrupted when Rogue opened the door and walked in.

"_Bonjour_, _chère_," Remy welcomed her with a smile, and his question was answered. She had changed him, ever since she walked into his life.

"Hey, Remy," she beamed at him, not even batting an eyelash at his unexpected appearance. She was used to it now, since he always dropped in on her out of the blue. He usually tried to plan his visits for when she would be emerging from the shower, but there was no need to enlighten her to that little fact.

Dropping her bags on the floor, Rogue walked over to the bed, leaned over, and greeted him with a kiss. She pulled away a few seconds later, but Remy had other ideas – he snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her down to join him. She shrieked in surprise, but then quickly loosened up and curled up beside him.

"Where y' been?" he asked her, running his fingers through her silky hair.

"Th' gals dragged meh shoppin'," she informed him, resting her head on his chest.

"Y' get some new lingerie t' model f'r me?" Remy asked eagerly, fondly recalling the last time the two of them went shopping – they ended up locking themselves in a change room together, taking clothes off rather than trying them on.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "No, Ah got some fo' _yah_ to model," she informed him, crawling off the bed and bending over to rummage through her bags.

"Umm, _chère_? 'M not exactly int' dat kind o' t'ing," he told her with a worried look on his face, shuddering as he pictured himself in a lacy thong. He'd much rather picture Rogue in that, which he began to do, enjoying the view she was providing him as she leaned over in front of him. "Mebbe y' should go find John f'r dat…"

"Remy!" she laughed, making him smile again. _Dieu_, how he loved that sound… "Ah got yah somethin', an' it's _not_ meant fo' women, so don't get yer panties in a twist. Metaphorically speakin', that is."

"Course not. Don' have any ot'er kind o' panties," Remy grinned, and then curiosity took over. "Wait, y' bought somet'in' f'r me?"

"Yeah."

"Y' didn' have t' do dat, _chère_."

"Ah know, but Ah wanted to," Rogue explained, straightening up with a triumphant look on her face when she found the right bag. Looking at Remy with a raised brow, she stuck a hand on her hip and stated, "Yah get meh things all th' time. Why can't Ah get yah somethin'? Only th' guy can buy things fo' his girl?"

Sitting up straight with a panicked look on his face, Remy shook his head negatively and waved his hands. "_Non, non_, I didn' mean dat!"

"Ah know," Rogue snickered, winking at him. "Just keepin' yah on yer toes. Now, here – Ah saw these, an' thought of yah," she giggled, throwing the bag in his lap.

With the pleasant anticipation of opening a gift building inside of him, Remy reached his hand inside. He was touched by Rogue's thoughtfulness – he always brought her things, whether it was flowers or coffee or something random that he knew she would like. He did it for the sole purpose of seeing her beautiful face light up with a smile, not to receive anything back – although this was a pleasant surprise.

His fingers felt silky fabric and rough elastic, and when he pulled the item out of the bag, he realized it was a pair of boxers. Upon closer inspection of them, Remy fell backwards onto the bad in a fit of loud laughter. They had a picture of Michelangelo's 'David' on them, but not of the entire statue – just a three hundred and sixty degree view of its private parts, which would end up covering Remy's own.

"Glad yah like 'em," Rogue said, amused at his reaction.

"I do like dem. _Merci, chère_," he thanked her sincerely, after he managed to control his outburst. Then a crafty look appeared on his face. "What made y' t'ink of me when y' saw dem?"

She blushed slightly and looked away. "Ah just thought they were funny. Yah should've seen th' weird look Jean gave meh when Ah bought 'em…"

"Dat's probl'y cause Jean's not used t' boxers. Scott's definitely a tighty-whitey kinda _homme_," Remy joked, making Rogue snigger. "So…" he continued, a sly edge to his voice. "Y' tryin' t' say dat m' body is a work o' art?"

Rogue snorted. "No way, sugah. Yer body's nowhere near that kinda perfection," she teased him, sashaying up to stand between his legs and lifting his chin with a finger.

"Never hear y' complainin'," he retorted huskily, placing his hands on the curves of her hips.

She lowered her head and was about to kiss him when the door opened. Looking around Rogue, Remy saw Kitty standing in the doorway, eyes wide and blushing furiously.

"Oh! I'm, like, so sorry!" she tittered, backing up a few steps. "I'll just leave you two alone," she called, and ran away down the hall.

Remy chuckled as he watched her go, but stopped as he noticed the hallway outside the room begin to appear hazy. Turning back to Rogue, his brow furrowed when he saw she was no longer there – his hands were gripping thin air.

"Dammit," he muttered, surprised to find himself actually disappointed at her disappearance. Shaking his head, as if to banish that thought from his mind, Remy waited for the room to fade away.

- X -

Remy's eyes slowly drifted open, to the plain view of his bedroom ceiling. Yawning, he stretched lazily and then rolled over onto his side. Upon doing so, he found himself staring directly into a pair of sparkling emeralds.

"Mornin', _chère_," he grinned, taking in the vision of beauty resting beside him. Her ivory skin strongly contrasted against the black silk sheets, making her look so pale that it almost appeared she was glowing. Her white bangs surrounded her face and he thought of it as a halo… A halo for his _ange _(angel). What he wouldn't give to wake up with her every day… She made everything seem so much brighter.

"Mornin', sugah," Rogue smiled back, resting her head on a pillow she was hugging to her chest. She was laid out next to him, flat on her stomach due to her sunburned back.

"Couldn' sleep?" Remy asked curiously. She was awake, and appeared to have been for a while – that was out of the ordinary for her, not being a morning person at all.

"Not really. Ah couldn't get comfortable sleepin' with mah burn."

"Y' should've woken me, I coulda kept y' amused," he winked suggestively, as numerous entertaining activities ran through his head.

His comment only prompted Rogue to roll her eyes. "Nahh, yah needed yer rest after last night, Ah think yah wore yerself out."

He gasped dramatically, and continued with their teasing. "Dunno what offends m' more, _chère_, de fact dat y' hurt m' feelin's or de fact dat y' underestimate me! I've always got plenty o' energy… Want a demonstration?" Remy asked smoothly, propping himself up on an elbow and tantalizingly trailing his fingers down her arm.

"Paws off, swamp rat!" Rogue growled, slapping his hand away from her. "This is all yer fault, anyhow."

"How so?" he pouted. Remy knew better than to take her seriously - he could still see the playful glint in her eyes that gave away the fact that she wasn't really angry.

"Yah paid more attention to mah bikini than to applyin' sunscreen properly!" she scolded him. "That's th' last time Ah'm goin' to th' beach with yah, Rem."

Remy chuckled as he recalled their outing a few days ago. He had been so awestruck by Rogue in her revealing bathing suit that when she asked him to put sun block on her back, he wasn't able to focus on his task. He had been so enraptured by his _amour_ that he just kept rubbing her back, never noticing he had run out of lotion.

"'M sorry, _chère,_" he apologized, but then smirked. "But can y' blame m' f'r bein' distracted when _a belle femme _such as yo'self is right in front o' me?"

"Hmph," grumbled Rogue, but Remy's keen eyes caught the corners of her lips begin to turn up into a flattered smile.

"Y' wouldn' deny dis Cajun de heavenly pleasure o' seein' y' in a bikini again, would y'?" he persisted. "B'sides, it's better den me oglin' ot'er _femmes_, right?"

She glared at him. "Yah know, up until those words, Ah was about ready to fo'give yah…"

"Didn' mean it, _chère_, y' know dat," Remy tried to back pedal, wincing at his stupid joke.

"Whatever," she muttered, dropping her head onto her pillow.

"Y' de only _femme_ I ogle," he went on.

"Uh huh."

"Y' de only _femme_ I _want_ t' ogle."

"Keep goin'…"

"Y' de only _femme_ I'll _ever_ ogle."

Lifting her head to look back at him again, Rogue let a small smile grace her lips, before throwing one last glare his way. "Yah better mean all that."

"I do, _chère_," Remy informed her truthfully, leaning in to give her a slow, searing kiss. "Y' know I do, I meant ev'ry word."

"Ah know," beamed Rogue, quickly kissing him back, and then dropping her head again.

"Tired?"

"Yeah."

"Jus' rest a bit den, 'kay?" he told her, brushing some white hairs back from her face and moving them behind her ear.

Sitting up, Remy placed his cool hands on her red back, feeling the warmth emanate from the burn. Not wanting to hurt her, he began to run his hands up and down as lightly as a feather.

"Mmm," Rogue moaned contentedly, her eyes fluttering closed. "That feels good…"

He continued his ministrations, loving the light shivers and soft sighs she emitted from under his nimble fingers. He loved what she brought out in him - not just desire, but the desire to put her first, to ensure that she was happy, to bring her as much bliss as he could. Remy had never felt those feelings before. The women before her were just means for his own gratification, but now, with Rogue, he concentrated on her pleasure – that, in turn, brought him his own.

As his hands travelled over her skin, Remy observed some beginning to peel. Slowly and gently, he grasped a piece with his fingers and pulled it away.

"When I was little, I used t' spend lots o' time out on de bayou," he spoke quietly, breaking the peaceful silence. "I always got burned from playin' outside too long, but I liked peelin' away de skin after."

Eyes still closed, Rogue smiled softly. "So did Ah. Ah used to go down an' swim in th' River all th' time," she mumbled, almost asleep. "But then Ah had to cover up, so Ah never got burnt no more."

"Y' don' have t' worry 'bout dat now," Remy reminded her soothingly, leaning down to drop tender kisses all the way down her spine before she could dwell on past pains.

Sitting back up, he noticed that her breathing had deepened, coming slow and even – she had dozed off, with a content smile on her face. He smiled at that too, taking a moment to take in how serene she appeared. She made him feel the same way – he was at peace when he was with her.

Returning his attention to her back once more, Remy continued the calming activity of peeling off her burnt skin. He paused when he became aware of the light dimming. Looking around in confusion, he could see his room becoming increasingly blurry, like a photograph that was out of focus. It took him a few seconds to remember what was happening, and when he did, he frowned. _Merde _– was he… Was he _regretting_ this?

"I'll miss dis memory, _chère_," he sighed, ignoring his confusing emotions, instead wanting to tell her before it was too late. "It was one of m' favourites. Not'in' too special or fancy, but dat's what I liked 'bout it. Dis was de reality of our relationship, de simplicity of it all, y' know? Jus' de fact dat we trusted each ot'er, dat we were happy toget'er…"

The edges of his room began to ebb away, falling away into nothingness. Gazing down at Rogue, his hands still resting on her back, Remy whispered, "Dis is what I wanted t' come back t'… Guess I was foolish t' t'ink dat'd be possible, henh?"

She didn't answer - she just vanished from underneath his hands, leaving Remy alone in his bed. Moments later, the rest of the room followed suit.

- X -

It was a beautiful day, so Rogue and Remy had been leisurely strolling around Bayville with no specific plans in mind – that didn't really matter, they were just enjoying spending time together. Now they were walking hand in hand through the park, on their way from the café.

Rogue was looking up at the sky filled with fluffy clouds – Remy kept his eyes on her, loving the tiny smile that played upon her lips. Without warning, Rogue veered off the path, dragging Remy along with her. She pulled him over to the centre of a grassy field, and plopped down on her back.

"What are y' doin', _chère_?" Remy asked, chuckling at her actions and how adorable she appeared splayed out on the grass like that – he would have guessed she wanted to make snow angels, had it actually been winter.

Reaching up to grab his hand, Rogue yanked him down as well. He was surprised but quickly recovered, moving so he would purposely fall on top of her.

"Take it easy, _chère_! Dere are children around!" he teased, gazing down at her while propped up on his elbows.

Scoffing in mock-exasperation, Rogue pushed him off, and he turned over to lay beside her. "Yah ever played th' cloud game?"

"_Non_, don' t'ink so. Y' sure it doesn' involve me layin' on top o' y'?"

"Yah look at th' clouds an' find images in them," she explained, ignoring his previous comment. Pointing at the cloud directly above them, she said, "See that one? It looks kinda like a muffin."

"_Oui,_ it does," Remy remarked, seeing it too. He shifted positions so he was resting his head on Rogue's stomach, and then took his turn. "Dat one dere looks like a pineapple."

"There's a penguin…"

"If y' squint real hard, dat one kinda looks like de Wolverine in a tutu…"

Their afternoon continued, the two of them simply relaxing on the grass. Remy was utterly at ease - the combination of the hot sun beating down on him, the warmth from Rogue's body, and her fingers running gently through his hair had nearly lulled him to sleep. His eyes drifted shut for a second, when Rogue spoke up.

"It's yer turn," she reminded him, slightly pulling a strand of hair to wake him up.

Looking back up at the sky, Remy was startled to see the gorgeous day rapidly degenerating. The sky was darkening, with storm clouds moving in, and with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, he knew what was happening. It was true, he was regretting his actions… How could this happen? No, that couldn't be possible… He wanted to be mad at her, it made things so much easier. He marvelled at how reliving a few happy moments with her could wipe away all of his negative feelings towards her so effortlessly…

"Can I keep dis memory?" he yelled to the sky before he could stop himself. "Just dis one? Please!"

Instead of an answer, his head hit the ground – Rogue had vanished. Remy groaned, buried his face in his hands, and waited for the rest of the memory to fade away.

* * *

I actually saw those boxers once – they were so great, but sadly, I didn't buy them, and then they were gone forever… Sigh. But I digress. Hmm, methinks Remy might be regretting his actions, don't you?

Next chapter – Remy begins to fight back… Ooh, the drama!

Hey, before we finish up here, did you all read the preview of Rogue #1? Did you see at the end of pg.4, when she had nothing more to say to Remy? What the hell is that? I am SO very worried right now, what with all the rumours circulating… Marvel BETTER NOT BREAK THEM UP! (ish shakes her fist threateningly at them) Seriously, I would be _distraught_… But me being the eternal optimist, I'll just hope things work out. To ensure that, however, how about everybody joining the outrage? Remember to check out my author profile – **sign the petition to keep Rogue and Remy together**, and flood Marvel with angry letters at **officex at marvel dot com** and **joe at joequesada dot com**.

Right, now that I've vented, please review! ;-)

Toodles,

- ish -


	10. Value

**Disclaimer:** Not mine! I mean, the disclaimer is all mine, but the X-Men aren't.

**A/N:** Here we go again… Damn, what a lame author's note. But I have nothing else to say! Except that the nail polish on my left thumb always manages to get chipped off into the shape of Canada… Weird.

SweetRevenge151, Peace215, Orage, Alyxandria,PomegranateQueen, rage-girl-05, flowerperson, Anamaniax,texasgrrl, enchantedlight, Ms.Rogue LeBeau, Rogue14,darkstorm5000, Red Eyed Cajun, EviltwinAlix, and PsychoRomyChica – Thanks all! How about some thank-you stress balls? I have a feeling you'll all eventually be needing them.

angyxoxo - Who _doesn't_ want to have a raging hot Cajun boyfriend named Remy LeBeau? If there actually is somebody like that out there, I must meet them and smack them in the head. I'm dreading the day they break up too… We should start a support group, we'll definitely need it.

ASGT and Kat Maximoff – You were right, that was disturbing. Yet hilarious… But more disturbing.

Lightspeed Suzuka – Wow, that's a lot of destroyed Pietro Plushies… I'm definitely feeling the love. As for the preview, go to milehighcomics dot com backslash firstlook.

UniversalAnimeGirl – Wow, great review. So thorough, and good predictions, too! One of them actually is right, you'll find out in this chapter. But oh, Remy isn't living at the mansion, he's got his own apartment. More private time with Rogue that way. ;-) And I know that in the comics they've broken up before, and I'll keep my fingers crossed for them getting back together _again_, but it _still _hurts me… I just pretend it never happened. You're right, my friend, I'm queen of denial - just call me Cleopatra.

Pyro Lady – You'll find out eventually…

Misa1124 – Seeing as I'm technologically impaired, I have no clue how to retrieve deleted files – which might give you an answer as to whether there's a safety net for the memories. Bwa ha ha… Hope my evil laughter doesn't dishearten you. But hey, glad you joined our little party!

Sweety8587 – Wow, your ranting was very deep, and I enjoyed your trotting. As for drifting off and connecting to other memories, as the world's most powerful telepath, Xavier could just travel along the memories as he wishes – the connections just make it easier and systematic. He can look through them, and filter what needs to stay or go – if there are unrelated thoughts he might be taken to, he could travel back and take a different thread, or find his own way to the important stuff, ya know? At least, that's what I'm gonna go with.

Star-of-Chaos – Oh good, you saved me the trouble of noodle lashing, you're so considerate!

heartsyhawk – Sorry, no erasing from Rogue's pov. It'd throw off my flow, plus it'd be repetitive.

Raven2687 – I've read them, and you're the 2nd person comparing them to this fic - I'm _so _flattered! (ish swoons)

Calliann – I'm rather ashamed to admit that I'm not positive about the answer, but I would assume Antarctica too… Ahh, I've failed you as a Romy Goddess, I'm so sorry! See, now you've got _me_ crying, I guess it all evens out. But could I still get a thank you? I'm dying for your updates!

ladychopsticks and TheRealMai – Your questions will be answered this chapter! Well, some of them.

Aro – Sadly, your tags were screwed up. Curses, the sarcasm was foiled again! ESRP? I've get that sometimes – you are now truly blessed with a divine gift, don't let it go to your head. ;-)

melancholic – Hey, better late than never, and your rambling made me smile. Glad your pitchfork is aimed at Belle, but can the rake join it? Don't fret, there's more fluff for you now. And thanks for those naughty thoughts about the 'piece of art', that sent me off into a nice fantasy land… YUM.

Here we go, some more uber sweetness… Warning: the following may cause cavities.

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 10 – Value**

_"We do not know the true value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory." – Georges Duhamel_

Remy held Rogue's hand, their fingers intimately intertwined, as he escorted her through the dark forest. She was blindfolded, so he cautiously led her, careful not to have her trip over anything - even though he'd always be there to catch her, and the idea of her falling into his arms was quite appealing... The dim evening light made the path more treacherous, but the rays of the setting sun filtering through the trees beautifully illuminated the giant smile on her face – she was clearly enjoying this little adventure.

"Where are yah takin' meh, Remy?" she asked him playfully, scrunching up her nose adorably when the blindfold began to slide down it.

"Can't tell y', _chère_, dat would ruin de surprise!" Remy answered matter-of-factly, and then saw the lake between the trees. "But don' worry, we're here."

Guiding her out of the woods, the two walked into a grassy clearing, on a cliff overlooking the water. This was Rogue's favourite spot to go away and think, and it held so much meaning for the both of them… It was where they spent time together, where they had worked on controlling her powers… It was the perfect location for today's celebration.

Remy grinned in anticipation – he put a lot of preparation into this, everything had to be perfect for his _amour_. Positioning her so she would have the best view of his set-up, he stepped behind her and untied the blindfold. The flimsy material floated to the ground as Rogue gasped, taking in the sight.

Remy's schedule had brought them right on time to witness a magnificent sunset – orange and red colours were streaked across the sky as the sun disappeared below the horizon, its last light shining over the picnic he had set out on a checkered blanket. The delicious-looking food he had prepared himself was surrounded by dozens of candles, placed on the grass and on the swing hanging from a nearby tree, all lit and bathing the clearing in a soft glow.

"Happy anniversary, Rogue," Remy whispered in her ear as he reached into his trench coat, pulled out a red rose, and trailed it along her collarbone.

She turned around to face him, eyes glistening. "Remy, this is… Oh, sugah, this is so beautiful," she breathed as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Jus' like y', _chère_," he told her, leaning in to kiss the tear off her face, tasting its saltiness on his lips before capturing Rogue's own sweet ones. "No mo' tears, 'kay?"

"Even tears of joy?" she asked feebly, still overcome by emotion. She then laughed weakly, embarrassed. "Yah know, yer th' only one who can make meh cry like this…"

Remy gave her a gentle smile. "Tears o' joy will be de only tears dis Cajun'll make y' cry, I swear."

Rogue nodded and stepped into him, burying her head in his chest. "Ah love yah, Remy."

He closed his eyes, feeling peace wash over him with those four simple words. Wrapping his arms around her and burrowing his face into her hair, he breathed in her fresh scent while he told her, "I love y' too, Rogue."

They stayed like that until Rogue looked up at him, stroking his face with her hand. "Ah can't thank yah enough, Rem. Not just fo' this, fo' everything… Fo' helpin' meh touch, fo' lovin' meh… Ah never though Ah'd have all this," she admitted to him, her eyes boring into his with blazing intensity.

"I should be de one t'ankin' y'," he confessed, leaning in towards her while never breaking their gaze. "I never t'ought I'd have dis either, but den y' came along… Y' changed me, _chère_, f'r de better. Showed m' dat I could love, an' be loved… _Merci, mon amour_."

Every word he spoke was true – he was a different man because of her. Remy could scarcely believe that he was actually celebrating an anniversary with Rogue… Before her, the longest his relationships (if they could even be called that) lasted were a week. But now, a whole year together? It seemed surreal, but in the best way possible. He felt like the luckiest _homme _in the world, all due to Rogue, and he had to show her how much she meant to him.

Bending down, Remy captured her lips with his, first gently caressing them, but then the kiss grew more passionate. Their mouths opened, tongues massaging the other, as their bodies pressed closer together, both revelling in the heat they were creating.

Pausing to take a much-needed breath, Remy opened his eyes – whereas his glowed brightly with passion, Rogue's turned cloudy with desire. Smirking slightly, he gave her a quick peck before forcing himself to pull away and say, "We'll continue dis later, henh? We don' want de meal t' get cold."

She pouted playfully, making Remy want to savour her lips more than the food, but when she turned around and walked over to the picnic, he followed.

"Yah cook all this yo'self, Cajun?" Rogue questioned with an impressed air as she sat herself down on the blanket.

"_Bien sûr_ (of course)," he replied, as he piled some food onto a plate and sat down beside her. "All yo' favourite Southern foods. Try dis," he told her, spooning some gumbo into her mouth.

"Mmm," she moaned, making him hard-pressed to control himself. "It's delicious."

Remy beamed at the compliment. He knew she would enjoy this evening – other girls might have wanted a night out in a fancy restaurant, but Rogue was different. She appreciated the little things, the intangible details – things like love and touch and the memories that they had shared together here meant the most to her, which was why he knew this was the perfect setting.

Their night continued flawlessly – by candlelight they teasingly fed each other, enjoying both the food and the company. After their meal was finished, they stretched out on the blanket and gazed up at the stars that twinkled above them on the warm, clear night.

Toying with a small jewellery box hidden in one of the many pockets in his coat, Remy decided that now would be the perfect time to give it to her. "_Chère_," he began, sitting up and pulling it out. "I got y' somet'in'."

"Oh, Rem, yah didn' have to," she insisted, sitting up as well. "Doin' all this fo' meh was mo' than enough."

"What's an anniversary wit'out a gift?" he shot back, handing her the package. "I saw it an' t'ought it was perfect f'r y'."

Rogue glanced up at him, eyes sparkling excitedly, and then back down at the box. She opened it slowly, and her jaw fell open. "Oh, Rem…"

She gazed down at the necklace he had actually _bought_ for her, speechless. From the moment he first saw it, he knew she would love it – there was a small red rose pendant, so delicately crafted that it appeared real. It hung off a chain that was fashioned to resemble a stem and thorns – it was beautiful, yet had an edge to it, perfect for Rogue's gothic tastes.

"Ah love it," she whispered, close to tears again.

Picking it up, Remy leaned over and clasped it around her neck, dropping a kiss as he did so. "_Une rose pour une rose_ (a rose for a rose)," he told her, watching as she raised her hand to her chest and clutched it.

"Ah'm a rose, huh?"

"_Oui, chère_," he said, tilting his head to examine her as he explained. "Y' seem prickly an' dangerous on de outside, but I've seen yo' true beauty."

She quickly ducked her head to try and hide her blush, but then crawled over to kiss him. "Thank yah, Remy. It's perfect," she told him, settling down in his lap. "Ah got yah somethin' too, yah know."

"Y' didn' have t' do dat…"

"What's an anniversary without a gift?" she recited with a smirk, reaching into her pocket and placing a small bundle of tissue paper in his hands. "Ah saw it an' thought it was perfect fo' yah."

Instead of unwrapping the paper, he charged it every so slightly – it glowed pink before disintegrating, leaving a handsome silver chain to fall into Remy's hands. It had two charms on it, resembling playing cards of the King and Queen of Hearts, and he felt his heart swell with love…

"Ah know it's kinda clichéd, but it screamed 'Remy'. Ah thought of givin' yah just th' King, cause Lord knows that describes yah perfectly," Rogue began to clarify, slinging an arm around his neck with a grin. "But Ah stuck in th' other one too, just to remind yah that Ah'm yo' Queen."

Tearing his eyes away from his gift, Remy looked at Rogue with a loving smile. "I'd never fo'get dat, _chère_."

Reaching for the chain, she fastened it on him. "There yah are, yer highness," she teased.

"Clichéd o' not, it's perfect," he declared, meaning every syllable. A gift had never meant so much to him…

He tugged Rogue closer to him, circling his arms around her. He nuzzled her neck, taking in the comfort and tranquility she offered him before it was too late. Even without lifting his head, Remy could tell it was getting darker around them – and it wasn't just the natural occurrence of night falling.

He sighed, and quietly murmured, "I don' t'ink I can get rid of dis memory…"

"So don't," Rogue advised, whispering what he needed to hear in his ear and running a hand up and down his arm in a soothing manner.

Her words slowly sunk it, and he realized that she was right. He didn't want these memories gone… He wanted _her_, and this was all that he had left of her now…

Pulling Rogue as close to him as possible, Remy held on to her tightly. He focused on the feel of her next to him, on her being there and the warmth she gave him. He concentrated, as hard as he could, on her being tangible, on not wanting her to fade away… He wasn't going to let her go, he refused to!

- X -

Charles Xavier gave a startled cry as he was violently forced from the mind of Remy LeBeau. Jerking backwards in his wheelchair, it was propelled towards a table, running into it and knocking over a lamp. It hit the ground with a crash and shattered into pieces, but the Professor paid it no attention – his concentration was fixed on the unconscious young man.

Suddenly the door was thrown open – Wolverine burst in, claws unsheathed.

"Where is that punk?" he snarled, eyes wild with rage. When they caught sight of Remy, he stalked towards him.

"Logan, please!" exclaimed Charles, raising a hand up. "What are you doing?"

"I heard something break and then smelled Gumbo, so I put two an' two together. He's got some balls to come back here and…" Logan ranted, but trailed off when he took a good look at his target, realizing he was unmoving on the couch. "What the hell? He's doin' it too?"

"Yes, Logan. I am in the process of erasing Mr. LeBeau's mind."

Retracting his claws, the feral mutant let out a loud growl. This didn't sit right with him… He couldn't fathom having his memories erased willingly – he supposed it was due to his own experiences, having lost his memories, wanting to know about his past… Although he was glad that Rogue's pain had lessened – he just wished it could've been done differently. Now Logan wanted Remy in that same pain, for all that he had caused her…

He had sworn to the Cajun that every tear Rogue shed over him would be one organ he ripped out of his body. He had been looking forward to the day he could make good on that promise, but the kid had found Charles first…

"This is some crazy shit," Logan muttered, cracking his knuckles, and then sighed. "You done yet?"

"Not quite. Mr. LeBeau has very strong mental abilities – he somehow managed to stop the procedure."

"You mean -"

"It appears that he has changed his mind."

"Just like Rogue did…"

Xavier bowed his head regretfully. "Yes, I'm afraid so."

"So he wants it to stop – why don'tcha leave the rest then?"

"I can't," came the reply, with a shake of the head. "I cannot simply stop in the middle of the process. If only recollections of Rogue from the past few months had been erased, then I could do so – the mind would still be able to comprehend things. However, during the memories I have passed through, Remy was reminiscing of previous times, times that happened _before_ the memory I was currently in – I linked to them, and they were removed."

"So?"

"Because they were out of chronological order, it left a very chaotic mindscape – there are memories remaining where Remy may think of something that I have already erased, and the mind cannot handle that sort of confusion. Think of it like a puzzle, Logan – if too many pieces are missing, the picture makes no sense. The picture must be taken apart, or the brain will wear itself out searching for the missing pieces."

"Then there's nothin' you can do?"

"Unfortunately, no. I wish I could stop, or I would have during Rogue's procedure too, when she expressed her regret, but I'm afraid I must continue."

Scowling, the Canadian turned and headed towards the door. Before he could leave, the Professor spoke again.

"Logan," he called, arching an eyebrow in curiosity. "If you don't mind my asking, why would you wish for Remy to retain his memories? I was under the impression that you were none too fond of him being with Rogue."

"I'm not," grumbled Wolverine. "I just want the kid to remember so I can gut him without feelin' guilty." He refused to admit that he actually didn't mind Gumbo – Rogue was happier when she was with him… She smiled more.

"Ahh," acknowledged Charles, not commenting on whether he believed his response or not. "If you don't mind, would you please dispose of Mr. LeBeau's things?" he then asked, gesturing towards the garbage bag he had brought with him.

Grunting his assent, he slung the bag over his shoulder. "Call me when yer done with him, Charles," Logan said, and left the room.

Wheeling himself back over to the couch, Professor Xavier cleared his thoughts. With caution and a heavy sigh, he once again entered Remy's mind, searching out the memory of the anniversary.

- X -

In the middle of the clearing, a dark night fallen, Rogue and Remy clung to each other, refusing to let go. A strong breeze began to blow around them - the candles circling them flickered, but kept burning, and the couple remained firm in their embrace.

"I changed m' mind, _chère_," Remy cried into Rogue's hair. "I can't do dis anymo'!"

"Why'dja do it in th' first place?" she asked him curiously, pulling back slightly to look in his eyes. He could tell she wasn't accusing him, she only wanted to know why he had done this – the problem was, he wasn't sure anymore.

Resting his forehead on hers, Remy closed his eyes, unable to look at her. "I couldn' live wit' it, Rogue, knowin' what I'd lost… Knowin' dat I'd lost y'," he sobbed. "But now I know dat I made a mistake, it's harder losin' what little I have left o' y'…"

Cupping his face with her hands made Remy's eyes open again. He saw Rogue's own, filled with grief and compassion. "Looks like we both made mistakes, Remy," she murmured. "Maybe this one can still be fixed."

Before he could respond, Rogue leaned up and kissed him. It was filled with sorrow but also with love, and it made Remy's heart ache. He kissed back with all the passion he could muster, grasping her tightly, savouring the moment, determined not to let it slip away.

The wind around them began to bluster, with fog rolling in, and still their caresses continued – until Rogue began to fade away. She was like a ghost, almost intangible, but still Remy clung to her.

"_Non,_ please don' leave me, _chère_!" he yelled, burying his head in her neck. He could still feel her pulse beating, that meant she was still there with him… "Please, don' leave me," begged Remy, his appeals lost in the storm brewing around him.

The candles blew out, one by one – Remy fell forwards, no longer supported by anything. Before being completely submerged in the fog, he frantically looked around – but Rogue had vanished.

* * *

Well, Remy sure failed miserably, didn't he? Poor guy. Oh well, he's the persistent type.

I hope I the Professor's explanation made sense – basically, when Remy was thinking of _past_ memories with Rogue during the ones Xavier was currently going through, Xavier linked to those and erased them too. If the Prof was to stop right now, Remy would be able to remember memories where he thought of past events, but the events wouldn't be there – hence some insanity. Keep in mind that I didn't write Xavier linking to them and breaking the chronological order, just like I'm not writing _every_ single memory – there is stuff that happens in between them, just nothing too terribly important.

Next chapter – It's time for some birthday celebrations!

So – how was it? Feel free to shower me with praise, I sure won't mind! Reviews ahoy, pretty please.

Toodles,

- ish -


	11. Feel

**Disclaimer:** I can't think of witty comments – it's early, I haven't had my coffee yet, so insert your own here, please.

**A/N:** My summer vacation is half over, and I'm depressed. Sigh… How does the time go by so fast? In a bit over a month I'll be starting university… Grumble. Oh well, I cheered myself up by writing this! Huzzah.

SweetRevenge151, Star-of-Chaos, Alyxandria,PomegranateQueen, demiducky25, Orage, Rogue14, flowerperson,Ms.Rogue LeBeau, TheRealMai, enchantedlight, Raven2687,texasgrrl, ASGT and Kat Maximoff, mollymo, TheDreamerLady,darkstorm5000, pyros-gal, Dreamcatcher89, loneraven,Renaissance Wench, and IloveJamesK – The stress balls I handed out previously really didn't seem to help… Maybe stress boulders would work better?

Rogue4787 – Glad you didn't watch the movie – it's _so_much more fun to get reactions when people weren't expecting something! I'm evil that way… Bwa ha ha.

Peace215 – Wow, that stress ball didn't do much good. Oh well, I enjoyed your rant! Hmm, would you rather have an insane Remy or one that's forgotten Rogue? Actually, I don't think that requires much thought, does it? Well, glad you have faith in me – for that, I can assure you that Pietro will get what's coming to him. Heh heh.

Misa1124 – Hmm, how interesting you should notice those things… It'll all be explained eventually. And no worries, it wasn't really a negative review. As for the fic being disheartening… Well, yeah, even _I'm_ currently a bit melancholy.

SickmindedSucker – But I'm not wearing sleeves… ;-)

Krac – Well, here you are! I missed your babbling. Boo to work. Ooh, a black star? Sweet, that's going up on my wall! I think the rhinestones give my crack bunnies super powers. And of _course_it's not wrong to be happy about a dead Belle! If anything, I'd be worried if somebody _wasn't _happy.

Calliann – I really can't believe I make you cry so often. I mean, I know it's distressing and all… I guess as the author, I'm too invested in the technical aspects, like grammar and stuff, so I don't really have an outsider's perspective. Glad to know I didn't fail you, I feel better now. I'd feel _great_ if you updated, hint hint…

Sweety8587 and Pyro Lady – Hmm, interesting guesses… But that's all I'll say. ;-)

heartsyhawk – Hey, you're speaking to a "mushy yucky soap opera follower" here! I'm addicted to 'Passions', it's so unhealthy… You should see me yell at the characters and stuff, so I know what you mean about getting emotional.

Pandora's Sorrow – There will be stuff after the procedure is over, which should be in a few chapters. As for whether that stuff will be happy or not… Well, you'll just have to read it, won't you?

Time for more sweetness! I can write it so easily… I think my body is made up of sugar, with a candy centre or something.

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 11 – Feel**

_"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel." – Carl W. Buechner_

She had told him to meet her at their spot on the lake – they would be celebrating his birthday quietly, without a rowdy party. There wouldn't be any people to invite anyhow – he had a feeling that X-Men wouldn't think it a very joyous occasion, but that was fine. Something small was all Remy wanted. Previous birthdays in the Guild were extravagant affairs with his large family showing up, but all he needed now was his _chère_.

Speaking of, Remy had showed up early, to set up her surprise. It was his birthday, not hers, but that gave him an idea that he didn't want to put off. Now he sat there, waiting impatiently for Rogue.

Taking out a deck of cards, he began to shuffle them idly. He played a few games of solitaire, but wasn't able to concentrate properly. He kept looking at his watch every few minutes – he had come too early. Gathering up the cards, Remy took off down the path towards the mansion.

He tried her bedroom first, only to find that she wasn't there. He snuck through the rest of the Institute expertly, avoiding the few inhabitants milling around. Remy finally found Rogue in the kitchen, slicing a cake. She wore a bright red apron, and he had to stop himself from laughing at the image of domesticity over her dark Goth apparel.

Sneaking up behind her without a sound, Remy placed his hands on her waist and whispered, "Aww, _chère_, y' made me a cake?" He watched her jump in fright before adding, "Too bad it couldn' be one o' dose giant ones where y' pop out naked…"

"Remy!" she exclaimed, calming down when she realized who it was. "What are yah doin' here? Yah're supposed to be at th' lake!"

"I know," he told her, starting to kiss the back of her neck. "But I got lonely."

Rogue went back to slicing the cake, slightly leaning back to rest on Remy. He took that opportunity to move his hands underneath her shirt, running them across her smooth stomach. He felt the muscles contract and Rogue straighten up, and he knew she was enjoying it.

"Remy, as good as that feels, yah might not wanna do that when Ah've got a knife in mah hands, hmm?" she breathed.

"'M willin' t' take dat chance," he informed her, his hands moving higher, lightly stroking the undersides of her breasts.

"Can't yah until later fo' that?" Rogue smirked, tilting her head slightly to look at Remy's face. "Ah promise, it'll be worth yer while."

He smirked back, slowly withdrawing his hands, but making sure to trail them down across her skin first. "If y' insist," Remy huffed, wrapping his arms around her, over her clothes. It was a much safer position to be caught in, should anybody walk into the room.

He watched Rogue continue her task, cutting the chocolate cake (his favourite) into uniform rectangular pieces. "'M bored, _chère_," he whined jokingly, propping his chin up on her shoulder.

"Rem, are yah sure yer turnin' a year older? 'Cause yah're complainin' like a child!"

"I jus' wan' t' spend m' birt'day wit' y', Roguey, but somehow I don' t'ink de kitchen's de most appropriate place f'r what we wan' t' be doin', henh?" he insinuated smoothly.

He knew she was rolling her eyes, even though she was facing away from him. Tracing carefully over the knife's blade, Rogue gathered large dollops of icing on her fingers. After tossing the utensil into the sink, she turned towards him.

"Ah don't know why Ah put up with yah!" she scolded flippantly.

"Oh, y' know why… Do I really need t' go over all m' best features?" Remy asked slyly.

A faint blush appeared on her cheeks, and Remy cocked an eyebrow. "Why, _chère_, I was talkin' 'bout m' wit an' intellect…" he teased. "What dirty t'ings were _you_ t'inkin' 'bout?"

"Argh!" grunted Rogue in frustration and embarrassment, flicking his nose lightly, leaving a small trace of red frosting.

"Hey!" he protested, crossing his eyes in a fruitless attempt to see the substance on his face.

His actions only made Rogue laugh at the sight, and Remy sulked – that was soon pushed from his mind, however. Tilting her head up towards him, she kissed the tip of his nose, sensually sucking the icing off. Then she leaned backwards, supporting herself on the counter, and began to temptingly lick her sugar-coated index finger, moving slowly over it with her tongue, up and down…

Remy's eyes were locked on the seductive display, which was already getting him aroused… Before he lost control, he moved in towards her – he propped himself up with his hands on either side of Rogue, the counter supporting him in case his knees decided to give away.

"Yo' cruel, _chère_, y' know dat?" he told her in a hoarse voice, with her trapped in between his arms.

"What'cha gonna do about it, Cajun?" she challenged him, an amused look in her eyes.

"Dis." With one of his hands, he grabbed her icing-covered one. Bringing it up to his face, Remy captured a finger in his mouth, provocatively licking it, circling his tongue up and down her digit. He moved on to the next one, teasingly sucking on each of Rogue's fingers one by one. He watched her the entire time, enjoying the desire he saw on her face – her eyes were glued to his actions, her mouth slightly parted, her tongue darting out to lick her dry lips…

He quickly forgot that he was purposely taunting her, to teach her a lesson. Pressing her against the kitchen cabinets, Remy bent his head down and caught her lips with his, crushing them, then running over them with his tongue before it entered her mouth. Rogue's hands instinctively went around his neck, running through his hair, while his trailed down her body, over her backside, and down to her thighs.

He gripped them, swiftly lifting her up to sit her on the kitchen counter. She made a surprised sound against his mouth, but their lips never broke apart. Stepping closer to her, he stood between her legs, which wrapped around his waist. They continued kissing, passionately, urgently, until Remy managed to summon the iron clad control he needed to slow down – even then, he couldn't completely stop. Lightening his kisses to slow brushes of his lips against hers, only then could he make do with moving his head back an inch or so away from Rogue.

"Can't y' until later f'r dat?" he panted, repeating her earlier words, his breath mingling with hers. He cursed himself for sounding so breathless, so desperate.

"Fine, yah proved yer point," she muttered, sounding as affected as Remy. "Will givin' yah yer present shut yah up?"

"Mebbe," he pretended to ponder, glad to have a distraction from the temptress in front of him – a few more seconds of her caresses and Remy might've had to have her right there in the kitchen.

Untying the apron, Rogue threw it on the counter beside her and reached into her pocket. She pulled out a small rectangular package, and tossed it to Remy. He caught it easily – barely looking at it, he already knew what it was.

"A pack o' cards, _chère_? Y' really put a lot o' effort int' dis, didn' y'?" he teased. "Very original."

A shrewd smirk spread across Rogue's face. "Just open it, swamp rat. Ah guarantee they're original."

Opening the box, Remy pulled out the playing cards. His first view of them was of the back – they were red and black, with an intricate woven pattern like on most decks. Turning them over, a brief glimpse was all he needed before dropping them in astonishment. The entire deck fell to the ground, sliding all across the tiled floor.

While Rogue chuckled at him, Remy could only stand there, gaping. Pictures of her looked up at him from the fronts of the personalized cards, but not just any pictures – they were images of Rogue in various sexy poses, in different sets of revealing lingerie that barely covered anything…

Carefully jumping off the counter so as not to step on any of them, Rogue made her way over to him. Remy still hadn't moved. He just stood there, mouth moving up and down much like a fish, yet unable to form any words - he could barely even form any coherent thoughts either.

"So… What d'ya think?" she asked him coyly, standing in front of him, blocking his view.

He was thinking a lot of things. He was thinking that she was the most _belle femme_ in the world, he was thinking that Rogue had come so far from the lonely, depressed Goth girl that had first captivated him, he was thinking that he was the luckiest man on earth now that she could touch and she chose to touch _him_… But mostly, he was thinking that it was the best gift he had ever received.

"'M not sure what I love mo'," Remy finally spoke. "De present, or y' f'r givin' it t' me."

Offering him a pleased smile, Rogue stood on her toes and gave him a brief kiss.

"Hmm, I t'ink I love _you_ mo', 'cause as much as I _love_ de cards, _chère_, dey can't do dat," he decided with a grin. "How 'bout some mo' birt'day kisses?"

She grinned back, giving him twenty quick pecks on the lips, one for each year of his life.

"One mo' f'r luck?" he pressed.

Leaning back in, Rogue met his lips, but Remy didn't let her go so easily this time – he deepened the kiss, leaving them both breathless as they pulled away. He saw the same blissful, goofy expression on her face that he always wore after such events, but then a serious expression took over.

"Now, yah are _not_ to play poker with yer buddies with that deck, got it swamp rat?" she harshly instructed him, poking a finger into his chest for emphasis.

"Not a problem," he hastily agreed. "Wit' dose pictures, 'm not sharin' dat deck wit' anybody. Gonna keep y' all t' m'self, _chère_." His words igniting a spark of curiosity within him however, and Remy then had to ask, "Who took dose pictures, anyway?"

His mind briefly entertained the fantasy of some of the other girls directing Rogue in a racy photo shoot before she answered, "Ah used th' timer on Kitty's digital camera, an' took 'em mahself. What, yah think Ah'd let anybody see meh like that?"

"Ot'er den me, o' course." He was eternally thankful that he was the exception to that rule.

"Of course," she winked.

With that said, Remy began to pick the cards up off the floor. It took quite a while, with him pausing to leer at every one he lifted up. Rogue just rolled her eyes and leaned back against the counter, watching him clean up his mess. With everything back in the box, he stood up just as Kurt walked into the room.

"Oh… Hey, Rogue. Hello, Gambit," he greeted, somewhat awkwardly. He still wasn't very comfortable around Remy, but at least he wasn't growling at him anymore.

"_Bonjour_, Kurt," he nodded back, being amiable.

An awkward silence followed - neither knew quite what to say to the other. Remy fidgeted, knowing that Rogue was silently snickering at them.

"Vell…" began Kurt, also uncomfortable. "…I vill see you two later."

He turned to leave the kitchen, but then halted, something having caught his attention. Remy followed his line of sight, and paled when he saw one card left lying on the floor.

"Is zat yours, Gambit?" asked Kurt, walking towards it, and bending down to pick it up.

Remy's life flashed before his eyes – if Rogue's brother turned it over and saw her picture on that card, he would kill him! Shaken out of his stupor, he lunged for the card, crashing on the floor and sliding across the slippery tiles, grasping it a second before Kurt did.

"I got it, _mon ami_," he grunted, aching where he threw himself on the ground, but managing to smile at Nightcrawler. "But t'anks."

He received a very strange look, but then Kurt shrugged - with a small wave and a curious expression directed to Rogue, he left the room.

As soon as he was gone, Rogue cracked up, laughing so hard that she fell to her knees and tears streamed down her face. Pushing himself up, Remy got to his feet and brushed off his clothes.

"Don' see how dat's so funny," he grimaced. "Y' know what he'd do t' me if he saw dose!"

"Ah-Ah know," Rogue stuttered, trying to catch her breath, but unable to control her mirth.

Now it was Remy's turn to roll his eyes, as he waited for her to calm down. Crossing his arms, he rested against the table and glared at his _chère_ – not that he was truly mad at her, of course. "Y' done makin' fun o' me?"

Wiping her face and taking a deep breath, she slowly got up. Grimacing at the look he was giving her, Rogue walked over and threw her arms around him, planting a peck on his cheek.

"Ah'm sorry, Remy," she pouted adorably. "Ah'm _so_ glad that yah sacrificed yerself to th' evil floor to protect us from th' wrath of Kurt."

Keeping his annoyed appearance up, Remy whimpered, "Y' better be… 'M all bruised now."

"Aww, don't worry sugah, Ah'll kiss 'em better later," Rogue cooed.

The corners of his mouth twitched, turning up ever so slightly. Abandoning the charade of being irritated with her, Remy grinned and took Rogue's hand, walking her outside.

"_Chère_, can I asked y' somet'in'?" he questioned as they entered the forest on the edge of Xavier's property.

"Course yah can," she replied, glancing at him.

"I was t'inkin'," he sighed, looking up at the sky, blocked by the green leaves of the trees. He was a bit apprehensive about this – her past could be a touchy subject, but he told himself that it would be all right… "I know dat y' don' know when yo' real birt'day is, so I was t'inkin'… As lame as dis is… Maybe we can make it t'day? Dat way we can celebrate t'get'er…"

He gazed back down at her, pleased to find a touched expression on her face.

"Ah'd like that," Rogue answered quietly, her accent thick with emotion.

"Good, 'cause I already got y' a present."

She laughed joyfully, winding an arm around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. Remy draped his arm around her shoulder and they stayed like that as he led her to the lake.

As they entered the clearing on the cliff, Remy moved aside to let Rogue see her gift. "_Voila_," he said, directing her attention to it with a flourish of his hand.

He kept his concentration on Rogue, wanting to see her face light up when she saw what he had made for her – he wasn't disappointed, and judging from her jaw dropping and eyes widening, neither was she.

She slowly moved towards the wooden swing he had hung from a large tree, running her hand along the seat. He had cut the wood himself, sanding it down until it was smooth, and then carving the inscription into it.

"_Je t'aimerai pour toujours, chère _(I will love you forever, dear)," she whispered, reading it aloud, her voice choked up.

Stepping up behind her, Remy placed a reassuring hand on her arm. "It's just like th' one I had in Mississippi," Rogue murmured to herself, and he knew that she was remembering her old home. The far-off look in her eyes when she first described it to him, telling him about how she used to pretend she could fly while swinging, was what had prompted Remy to recreate a piece of happiness from her childhood.

He knew Rogue must have been overwhelmed by one of the few memories from her youth that she could clearly recall. Hugging her from behind and perching his chin on her shoulder, he just held her comfortingly until she was able to gather herself and her thoughts.

"Ah'm not sure what Ah love more," Rogue finally spoke with a watery smile, turning around in his embrace. "Th' present, or yah fo' givin' it to meh. Thank yah, Remy, so much…"

Remy pressed a kiss to her forehead, and prompted her to sit down on it. Placing his hands on her back, he gently began to push her, watching Rogue sway back and forth on the swing. She closed her eyes and extended her arms, and Remy knew that she was imagining herself flying – it was absolutely endearing, to see her act so childlike and carefree.

"I love y', Rogue," he murmured in her ear when the swing descended.

As it ascended again, she opened her eyes and swiftly turned around in her seat – as she fell back towards him, Rogue wrapped her legs around him, lifting herself off the swing and crashing into his arms. "Ah love yah too," she told him fervently. "Ah love yah so much, Ah'm not sure Ah can even describe how Ah feel."

"Y' don' have t', _chère_, I feel de same way."

"Ah can't believe yah remembered meh tellin' yah 'bout mah swing…"

"I remember everyt'in' about y'."

She frowned, both of them realizing what had been said and done. "That won't be true fo' long, will it?"

"_Non_, it won't," Remy sighed, as she dropped to her feet in front of him. "Now I wish it could be, but it won't."

The light began to fade around them, and he knew what was coming. They held on to each other as it grew darker, when suddenly Remy started, an idea formed. Grabbing Rogue's hand, he ran out of the clearing, dragging her along with him.

"Remy, what are yah doin'?" she called out, trying to keep up with him.

"I can't let y' go, Rogue!" he yelled back, rushing down the path. "Dis was a mistake! I've never been happier den when I was wit' y', an' I wan' t' keep dat!"

The pair kept running through the forest, rushing past the trees – behind them, it kept getting blurrier and blurrier, like the scenery was being wiped away. Remy never looked back, but he could tell that the erasing was catching up to them - it was moving too fast. He just kept moving forwards, never letting go of Rogue's hand, clasping it tightly in his own. He'd keep running forever if he had to, he wasn't letting go of her…

Swerving off the path, the pair ran deep and deeper into the woods, jumping over tree roots and logs, the only sound that of their heavy breathing – until Remy heard a cry, and Rogue's hand was jerked from his. Stopping in his tracks and spinning around, he scanned the area for her – she was nowhere to be seen.

"Rogue?" he called out fearfully, desperate to hear an answer - but there was nothing.

Slumping against a tree in defeat, Remy slid down to the forest floor. He sat there dejectedly, head in his hands, as everything around him began to fade.

* * *

Poor guy, he just can't win, can he?

Next chapter – We find out what happened when Rogue gained control… wink wink, nudge nudge. ;-)

As always, reviews just make me squeal with happiness. They also motivate me, hint hint. So you write a review, and I'll write more of the fic! Yay, reciprocation.

Toodles,

- ish -


	12. Hard

**Disclaimer:** If I owned the X-Men, Rogue and Remy would be married, Scott would be dead, and I'd be living in a mansion with Johnny Depp _and_ Orlando Bloom right now. Since I'm not (sigh!), I think you can all guess what that means.

**A/N:** I just saw the Cure last night! Squeal! I'm still in the _best_ of moods… They were so wonderfully, wonderfully, wonderfully, wonderfully pretty! My stars, I want Robert Smith to have my babies!

Orage, Star-of-Chaos, SweetRevenge151, Alyxandria, Peace215, demiducky25, coolchick, flowerperson, TheRealMai, pyros-gal, Raven2687, Dreamcatcher89, enchantedlight, RoguesTale, heartsyhawk, darkstorm5000, Rogue Pryde, Pyro Lady, crazyspaceystracey, and Rogue4787 – As always, thanks for the lovely reviews! All I can offer is my sincere and never-ending gratitude… But that's lame. So give yourself something nice!

Neurotic Temptress – I knew you'd remember the boxers! Then again, who wouldn't?

PomegranateQueen – The heart-wrenching story of your poor fish got to me, so of course I'll beta for you! Well, I'd do it anyway, regardless of you regaling me with tales of fish or not. Email me whenever, I'd be glad to do it.

UniversalAnimeGirl – Once again I'll compliment you on your review, and continue the cycle. Hah, _loved _the 'awe inspiring' pun, it made me laugh out loud. I can't see another couple being as sappy either, but I suppose I'm a bit biased, huh? As for Rogue's seductive behaviour, I definitely think Remy would break her out of her shell – lucky girl…

Calliann – Ah, as a fellow contact-wearer, I understand the need for tears – but that doesn't mean I like the sadness that causes them! And yet I can't count the number of times I've spent all day reading fics, only to have my eyes dry out, making it impossible to even blink… Maybe fanfics are hazardous to my health.

PsychoRomyChica – I believe Remy got blinded by his own card… As for which issue, I have no clue, sorry. I don't often read the comics, isn't that crazy? I get angry when things I think should happen don't, or things that shouldn't happen do, hence the fanfics! That way I can make my own fun. ;-)

SickmindedSucker – I _am_ wearing sleeves now, but I'll have to delay the trick a bit. But you're right, it _is_ there!

angyxoxo – Since I'm still smarting from your horrendously depressing update, here it is: _One day, angyxoxo wrote a terribly sad fic, where bad things happened. It made ish sad… But thanks to the karmic forces of the universe, angy died a horribly miserable death, Rogue and Remy lived happily ever after, Belladonna was tormented in the fiery depths of hell for all eternity, and ish was happy once again! Huzzah._ Oh yeah, that was cathartic. Moving on, I shall join you in your Bitter Single Hag Club – I guess I'm living vicariously through my fic. Hey, were you aware that in both reviews you left me, you called Remy a bozo and wanted to punch him? I just thought that was droll… I didn't really have a point in mentioning that.

Just to let you know, there are some sexual situations in this chapter, but nothing explicit – sorry all those who would've liked a lemon (I sure wouldn't mind!), but I really didn't feel like changing the rating. Now that that's said and done, I bet you'll all itching to read it, so don't let me stop you! ;-)

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 12 – Hard**

_"No memory of having starred atones for later disregard, or keeps the end from being hard." - Robert Frost_

His apartment was dark, save for the glow from the candles around the room – they illuminated the couple, and their shadows flickered eerily on the walls. Rose petals were scattered all over, on the bed and on the floor, and Rogue and Remy danced on them. There was no music, only Remy humming softly while they swayed to the made-up tune.

"I wanted t' make dis romantic f'r y, _chère_," he said to Rogue as he held her. "I wanted t' make it special…"

"It is, Rem," she replied, lifting her head off his chest to place a kiss on his lips. "Cause Ah'm with yah."

His arm around her waist drew her closer to him, as the pair continued to dance – it didn't matter that Remy had stopped his song, it only mattered that they were in each other's grasp, moving together. They weren't truly dancing, just gently rocking back and forth while emotions flitted between them, but that was irrelevant.

"We'll take dis slow… If y' wanna stop, jus' tell me, _d'accord_? (okay?)" he whispered in her ear, and she nodded. It would be her first time, and he didn't want to rush her, to scare her… Remy wanted it to be wonderful, not awkward like his first time had been.

Stepping back slightly to look into her emerald eyes, Remy found love and desire within their depths, as well as traces of nervousness. He was nervous as well – in the few weeks that had passed since Rogue gained control, he had been getting her used to the idea of skin on skin contact. He held her bare hand everywhere they went, he constantly leaned in for kisses, he found every excuse possible to touch her… And she had finally stopped flinching away like she had been so accustomed to doing. Now he could finally physically show her how much he loved her, not just through words and gestures.

Giving her a reassuring smile, he leaned in to softly caress her lips. As they kissed, his hands trailed down her body, to rest at her waist. His fingers played with the hem of her shirt before pulling it off over her head, parting their mouths.

Remy kept his eyes locked with Rogue's, and his knees wobbled with all the trust that shone in them. She was placing herself completely in his hands, and he wouldn't disappoint her.

Kissing her again, he diligently worked to remove the rest of her clothes, dropping them to the floor. When Remy pulled back, he was nearly speechless at the lily-white goddess standing in front of him – she was the most _belle_ thing he had ever had the privilege of seeing… He felt like he should bow down and worship her, in every way possible.

"_Mon Dieu, chère_… Y're… _Dieu_, y're perfect," he breathed, running his eyes up and down her body, causing Rogue to blush in response.

Reaching for her hands, Remy brought them to his chest, prompting her to unbutton his shirt. She seemed to grow bolder as she went on, taking his shirt off his broad shoulders and running a hand across his torso. As Rogue slowly stripped him of this remaining apparel, he found himself hard-pressed not to tremble under the intense gaze she was giving him.

Stepping towards her, he kissed her, their bare bodies pressing together. Never breaking apart, they moved towards the bed, where Remy lay Rogue down before sitting beside her.

A shy smile played on her face as she ran a gentle hand over him, exploring his skin, the newfound world recently opened to her. He moaned quietly, enjoying the torture Rogue was bringing upon him as her soft, light strokes began to tickle him… Until she frowned, and sat up.

"What's de matter, _chère_?" asked Remy, confused.

He followed her vision – it was locked onto a scar on his chest, that she was tracing with her fingers.

"How'd yah get that, sugah?"

He closed his eyes to the bad memories that began to flow as he recalled the answer. "Dat was from a Guild fight, years ago… An Assassin stabbed me."

His eyes opened again when Remy felt warmth against the old wound. Rogue had leaned in and kissed it, tenderly caressing it with her smooth lips. Then her hands continued along, moving up to his shoulder where they ran over another scar. "And this one?"

"Got dat durin' a trainin' exercise wit' de Acolytes…"

She kissed it as well, and continued her inspection. Rogue trailed her fingers over every inch of him, reading every twist and turn of his body like a blind man would read Braille, managing to find every scar, mark, and blemish. Every time, she asked him how he received it, and every time, he answered her truthfully – from his contract with Magneto, to his jobs with the Guild, to his life on the streets as a child, to some tiny shaving nicks. He replied without hesitation, because she kissed each one without hesitation – there was no judgement, only acceptance, and Remy couldn't recall ever having that before. He felt redeemed – Rogue had redeemed him, emancipating him from his past, delivering him from his previous sins… She had found every hurt, every ache, and made it better, and he wanted to do the same.

Starting at her feet, his hands began to rove up her body. She was so much softer than he ever could have imagined – he knew that she thought her layers of clothing had shut her off from the world, but he liked to think that they also protected her skin from harm, that they saved it for him, as selfish as that was. She was pale all over, with a few moles and a birthmark on her hip that he stopped to kiss… She was flawless, for which Remy was glad - he didn't want any mementos of his _chère_ hurting.

He trailed up her chest, around her collarbone, and down her arms… But then he froze. His gaze was stuck on some faint lines on the underside of her wrist. Reaching for her other hand, Remy could see matching blemishes there too. They were old, pale pink, and fading away, but they scared him like nothing else had.

"Rogue?" he questioned quietly, looking up at her.

She sighed and stared at the sheets, unable to meet his gaze. "Ah started cuttin' after Ah found out about Mystique betrayin' meh, when Ah moved in with th' X-Men… Ah was hurt, an' Ah thought Ah was alone, that Ah had nobody…" Rogue started to explain, ashamed.

"But y' stopped, right?" Remy asked with baited breath.

"Yeah. Things got better."

Bringing her wrists up to his face, he showered the scars with kisses. "'M so sorry I couldn't be dere f'r y', Rogue," he murmured between kisses. "I wish I could've met y' sooner, I could've been dere f'r y'…"

Logically Remy knew that he couldn't change or control the past, but that didn't stop him from wanting to, or from feeling guilty that he wasn't able to help her. He knew that she had been through so much - it must have been so hard for her, but he couldn't believe what she had resorted to… It tore him up inside.

"Remy, please don't feel bad," she consoled him, cupping his face with her hands. "Yah're here fo' meh now."

"I always will be," he swore, drawing her closer to him.

He proceeded to show her exactly how much he loved her, showing her exactly how good skin on skin contact could be… Remy focused solely on her, on making her gasp and shiver and moan in ecstasy. They made love so sweetly, so tenderly… When they lay entwined in the afterglow, he knew that they had been branded on each other's hearts forever.

He pulled Rogue closer, her resting her head on his chest, able to hear his heartbeat return to its normal pace. With his arms around her body and their legs tangled together, Remy could feel her warmth permeating him. He could feel every breath she took, and he knew he could never let her go.

Then the candles around the room simultaneously flickered – the light began to recede.

Reaching for the silk sheets, he pulled them up and over their hands, cocooning them both, hiding them from the dimming room. Clutching Rogue, holding on to her for all he was worth, Remy silently wished, 'Please don' take her from me…'

She curled up to him even tighter, murmuring contentedly, blissfully unaware in her slumber. All he could do was stay steadfast in his embrace, thinking of her, concentrating on her not fading away. He dropped little kisses on her hairline, pleased as she smiled happily in her sleep, hoping it would last...

Nothing happened.

She was still there… Rogue was still there with him.

Remy gave a sigh of relief. He relaxed slightly, closing his eyes and burying his hands in her hair, when suddenly they dropped. Jerking in fright, he opened his eyes and saw she was gone. Scrounging around under the blanket, he frantically tried to reach for her.

"Rogue?" he cried out, voice sounding muffled. "_Chère_?"

Attempting to throw the sheet off him, Remy found that he couldn't - it tangled around him, he couldn't get out… Turning over, he crawled around under the blanket, trying to search for Rogue in the darkness, trying to reach the edge of the bed so he could get out… He couldn't, it was like there was no end to his bed, to the sheets, or to the torture he had foolishly brought upon himself.

Screaming in frustration, Remy threw himself face down onto his bed and waited.

- X -

He was walking along a trail in the woods on the edge of Xavier's property. It didn't look particularly well-worn – it seemed that not many people made this trek. Remy wasn't quite sure why he was taking it either, but he was looking for Rogue, and he decided this was as good a place to look as any.

He followed the path until it led to a grassy clearing, on a small cliff over the lake. It was a beautiful view, even further enhanced by Rogue sitting under a tree.

She hadn't noticed him yet – she was writing, in what Remy guessed was her diary. He smiled at how she bit her lip as she scribbled. It was one of the many mannerisms about her he found adorable – he always noticed the little things about her, such as how she grasped her coffee mugs with both hands, or how she would tap her fingers against her leg to the beat of a song she liked.

He walked over to her, the blades of grass muffling his footsteps – he tried to move loudly, so as not to scare her and have her snap at him, but his training as a thief had engrained stealth into him so deeply that he found it impossible.

Only when Remy sat down beside her did Rogue notice him. Looking up at him, she scooted over almost imperceptibly, allowing more space to fall between them. Remy noticed this and began to frown, but caught himself merrily – with Rogue, you had to know when to push and when to back off, and his gut told him that now was a time to simply let her be.

"_Bonjour, chère," _he greeted her.

"Hey, Remy," she smiled back, closing her book. "What are yah doin' here?"

"Lookin' f'r y'." He was always looking for her – he had finally realized that whenever he went out, his eyes instinctively searched through crowds for auburn hair with white stripes, hoping for a chance meeting – it had just taken Remy a long time to admit it to himself.

"Well, how'd yah find meh?"

He blinked. "Not really sure… Just felt I should go dis way, an' here y' are!"

"What, are yah psychic now?" Rogue joked.

"Just wit' y', Roguey. Dere's a connection b'tween us…" That would certainly clarify some things, like how he could always locate her… Although it created some more questions as well, ones that he had less certain answers too.

"Oh, really?" she drawled with a raised eyebrow.

"_Mais, oui_ (But, yes)," he replied. "How else would y' explain us always runnin' int' each ot'er, always findin' de ot'er?"

Rogue didn't answer. She only shook her head with a small smile, one that gave Remy hope, as she looked down at the book in her lap.

"Y' writin' 'bout Remy in dat diary, _chère_?" he questioned, following her gaze.

"It's not a diary, it's a _journal_," she sniffed. "An' if yah must know, Ah am. But Ah write about _everythin'_, so don't feel too special."

"Oh, really?" Remy smirked, raising a brow. That tidbit of information greatly cheered him up, knowing that he warranted being written about.

"Really."

"What about m' do y' have in dere, exactly?"

"Lots of stuff."

"Like?" he prodded. He wondered what Rogue's innermost thoughts about him were… Her journal was her most trusted confidant, keeping her secrets safe without fear of judgement or consequence – he ached to know her feelings about him, those that she would never fully disclose due to the barriers she constructed around herself, keeping people away… It worked with others, but not with him. If anything, it made Remy all the more determined to break past them.

"Well, pretty much everythin' since yah started harassin' meh is in here," Rogue admitted with an embarrassed grin, an uncharacteristic confession that made Remy wonder if that barrier was not as insurmountable as previously thought. "All our dates an' stuff, th' sweet things yah say to meh… In fact, Ah think Ah'm gonna stick in what yah said about th' connection, that was nice."

Reaching for her pen, she began to write. Remy didn't try to read her words, knowing she would probably smack him with the book – but also, he respected her too much to invade her privacy like that. Instead, he focused on her again, watching as her hand ran over the page, as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear… His spirit soared knowing that Rogue cared so much about him, immortalizing him in her writings so often.

"Lemme guess… Most o' it's descriptions of m' sexy, chiselled body, henh?" he teased as she finished her latest transcription.

"Yeah, right," Rogue rolled her eyes.

"I t'ink dat's a 'yes'," he laughed. "Any mentions o' what y'd like t' _do _t' m' sexy, chiselled body?"

As soon as he spoke those words, Remy realized his mistake. The joyful light in her eyes dimmed, and Rogue looked down to the grass with a frown. He felt like kicking himself for reminding her of the things she wasn't able to do.

"'M sorry, _chère_," he murmured, wrapping his arms around her. She tensed, but then relaxed into his embrace. "Dat was stupid o' me."

"It's okay," she muttered.

"_Non_, it's not okay. I hate t' see y' like dis, Rogue."

"Ah hate bein' like this, so Ah guess we're even."

"Den don' be like dis, 'kay? Let's keep workin' at it." He scooted over to be in front of Rogue, and sat down facing her. "Come on, Roguey, y' can do it, I know y' can."

She grimaced, exasperated. "We don't even know if it'll work!"

"We won't know 'til we try," he firmly said. "So let's try again. Y're close, we can _bot'_ feel it, admit it!"

"Fine," she sighed, crossing her legs and closing her eyes. She took deep, slow, calming breaths as she started to meditate.

Remy watched her sitting there serenely. She would go inside her mind, into her subconscious, during these sessions and try to soothe the psyches – they weren't sure if it would have the desired effect, but it was worth a try. If nothing, it would at least grant her tranquility in her own mind. After her few previous attempts, Rogue had told him that they were much calmer – now her goal was to quiet them completely.

Remy prayed it would work – it wasn't for his sake, so he could finally touch her… No, it was only for her. He hated when she flinched away from his touch, or looked away from other couples kissing or holding hands… It pained him to see her hurt.

"Y' can do it, _chère_," he whispered, clasping her hands with his. He wasn't sure if she could hear him – she didn't like to go into details about what exactly went on during these sessions, they took a lot out of her. Still, he liked to think that his words of encouragement helped, and that _he_ helped. "Just t'ink about what we have t'get'er, dat we trust each ot'er… We're meant t' be, don' let yo' mutation get in de way, y're too stubborn f'r dat."

He sat there, watching her, waiting. Remy wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her, to finally feel her skin on his, but he restrained himself. Rogue was adamant about not touching him until they were _sure_ about her control – she had never absorbed him, and she was determined to keep it that way. He had volunteered to be the test subject when her psyches had first quieted, but she stopped him. She refused to hurt him, and he didn't want to put her through an accident like that. He knew the guilt would eat her alive, even though he had told her repeatedly that being knocked out was worth her touch – and he meant it, too.

He kept watching, not sure of how much time had passed – that didn't really matter. Both of them were still, until finally, Rogue's lips twitched. A small smile had formed… Remy knew then, from that little sign, that she had done it – she had pacified her mind. Now, the only question was, would it allow her to touch?

He removed his gloves – he had begun wearing them around Rogue, to make her more comfortable. Now he began to reach for her face – a feeling inside of him told him it would be all right, that same feeling that had told him where to look for her. Remy trusted his instincts – if you couldn't trust yourself, then who could you trust? So he touched her, cupping her face gently with his bare hands without a second thought.

Nothing happened.

There was no absorption, no feeling of his soul being pulled out, no pain – just her soft skin under his.

He was amazed. Remy traced his fingers along her jaw line in awe, astounded that she had finally done it, incredulous of the fact that the skin of any mortal creature could feel so smooth… He grinned, happy and wide, just taking in all the feelings and sensations, only then noticing that Rogue's eyes had opened.

She stared at him in shock, green eyes wide. They followed his arm, to where his hand was touching her. When she saw what was happening – or more specifically, what _wasn't_ – she gasped, a hand flying to her mouth in surprise.

Remy just smiled at her, taking her hands in his. "Look at dat, _mon amour_," he said, voice thick – he hadn't even noticed that he had called her his love, when he had been agonizing over admitting the true extent of his feelings for her. "Y' did it, Rogue, I knew y' could…"

Tears began to well in her eyes, and Rogue began to laugh. Her laughter quickly turned into sobs, and she threw herself at Remy, wrapping her arms around his neck – for once, they didn't have to be cautious.

He held her, bringing her onto his lap, murmuring soothing words in her ear, until she stopped crying. Then he pulled back, placing his face just inches away from hers. No words were spoken, they just looked deep in each other's eyes – Remy saw all of her emotions swirling within them, and he couldn't wait a second longer.

He moved in slowly and touched his lips to hers, caressing them gently. He marvelled at how soft and warm they were, and he felt deprived when he forced himself to stop – he didn't want to rush her, or scare her off.

Rogue looked dazed. Remy had to grin, and then moved back in. It seemed that her surprise had worn off, and she responded this time – she pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. His tongue ran over her lips, asking for entrance, and Rogue granted it – he lightly massaged her tongue at first, and then she grew more confident, making the kiss grow more and more passionate.

When they broke away for air, they were both panting. "Wow," Rogue whispered.

"Wow," agreed Remy, before planting quick kisses all over her face.

"Remy!" she shrieked, playfully swatting him. "What are yah doin'?"

"We've got lots o' time t' make up f'r, _chère_," he informed her between kisses. "'M goin' t' kiss y' f'r all de times I wanted t' but couldn't. Dat's a hell o' a lot, so y're goin' t' be here a while, 'kay?"

Rogue chuckled and relented. As they were locked together, Remy knew that he was already addicted to the feel of her skin next to his, and her lips touching his.

Dozens of kisses later, he pulled away and grinned. "Dis goin' in yo' journal, _chère_?"

"Every second of it," she declared.

"Good… An' I got somet'in' else y' can add, too," Remy told her, his voice cracking with nervousness.

"What's that?"

Gathering up his courage, Remy blurted out, "I love y' Rogue."

Her eyes widened, and she stared at him for a few seconds – a few seconds that scared Remy, making him think that she wouldn't reciprocate. Now that she could touch, what was to stop her from touching somebody else, somebody who had a respectable past, somebody who could assure her a decent future?

When after what seemed like ages Rogue replied, "Ah love yah too, Remy", relief flooded through his system, and his fear was quelled – he hauled her closer to him, and crushed her in an enveloping hug.

He couldn't believe it… He had finally managed to tell her – he had never uttered those three little words before, and he knew that he would never speak them again, unless they were directed to her. Remy's heart was soaring with happiness… But then the feeling promptly plummeted.

This just made what was happening all the harder. Knowing that he had felt such love, and reliving it, made his memories all the more difficult to get rid of.

"_Chère_," Remy began, a question popping into his head. "Do y' t'ink dat erasin' yo' memories would also erase yo' control?"

Rogue frowned, pondering the answer. "Probably," she shrugged. "Ah must've really been in pain to give that up, huh?"

_"Oui,"_ he croaked, dropping his head onto her shoulder.

She gave up control over her powers, the one thing she had wanted most in her life… That made him feel even worse. He had been selfish, focusing on his own pain, but he had caused her so much as well… Remy gave a long, hefty sigh and just sat there with Rogue, not doing anything to stop her or the scenery from fading around him.

He didn't want this memory. He didn't want a reminder of Rogue's hurt… He didn't want a reminder of how much _he_ had hurt _her_.

* * *

I bet you all are really annoyed with me – I give you fluff, and then finish it off with an angsty ending each time… Sigh. Well, at least know that I'm right there with you, feeling all sad and such!

Next chapter – Remy versus a stuffed bear!

A call to arms! Well, more specifically, a call to review! Come on everybody, drop me a line – especially those of you who are sneaking around reading but haven't reviewed yet! Let me know how I'm doing.

Toodles,

- ish -


	13. Midway

**Disclaimer:** I've borrowed the X-Men for my own devious purposes, cuz I sure don't own them… I don't think I'll be giving them back though.

**A/N:** When the rabbit of chaos is pursued by the ferret of disorder through the fields of anarchy, it is time to hang your pants on the coat hook of darkness – whether they are clean or not… Sorry, I watched the Spice Girls movie at midnight, after consuming massive amounts of cake.

SweetRevenge151, demiducky25, PomegranateQueen, PsychoRomyChica, Sweety8587, Silver Ink, pyros-gal, SickmindedSucker, EviltwinAlix, TheRealMai, IloveJamesK, flowerperson, Anamaniax, darkstorm5000, enchantedlight, sleepy26, Rogue4787, TheDreamerLady, Raven2687, Dreamcatcher89, and Pandora's Sorrow – As always, your reviews made me smile! So how about some thank-you toothpaste, so we can all have blindingly bright grins?

IvyZoe, samurai shoes, silky black, RgGOTH, Sungirl (of Sungirl and Meowiegirl), Beer'n'chips, and Adri – Yay, looks like my plea for new reviewers worked! Glad you all joined the party, thanks for the lovely comments! Hope you keep 'em coming. (ish glares pointedly at you)

melancholic – Hey, you reviewed, I'm so proud! Well, it was all worth putting off studying for math, right? I'll take the blame if you fail – but at least you'll fail happy after reading this stuff, right? For your question about Remy talking to Rogue, you can read the response to UniversalAnimeGirl if you wish, cuz I don't wanna type it out again! Ooh, glad you're writing a new fic – you mean, after you get working on ours, right? ;-) Fuffier and fun sounds quite appealing! We can have a twitchy competition, but be warned, you're going up against the _master_!

Speck – I suppose that is a fairly good reason, so you're saved from the guillotine – but just _barely_, ya hear? Frankly, I can't resist British accents, they're so very droll! Pip pip, cheerio!

missy42 – That was a good review, you're forgiven! I love the power of guilt trips, I can't resist them either. But gosh, am I really making you all look bad with my quick updates? What are ya gonna do about it? Hmm, maybe… Update? ;-)

Calliann – Crap, with all that computer radiation I endure while reading fics, I'll probably end up growing extra arms or something… Oh well, then I'll be able to type faster! Huzzah. And yeah, you _better_ update, hint hint!

Orage – Yes, Xavier would have seen those rather graphic memories – twice. Quite the voyeur, ain't he?

Aro – Hah, you do what I do, read fluffy parts and ignore badness… Quite a pathetic pair, aren't we?

UniversalAnimeGirl – Curses, you've discovered my dental conspiracy! I mean… _what _dental conspiracy? ;-) As for Rogue in Remy's memories answering some of his questions and talking to him – essentially, it is his mind, so he can manipulate things. He can have her say what he wants to hear, what he thinks she'd say, or maybe what he already knows, stuff like that. Basically, he's having a conversation with his memory of Rogue, ultimately controlled by him. I hope that makes sense… If not, a wizard did it.

ASGT and Kat Maximoff – We've already discussed the illegitimate children, so that's all set… Oooh, Tim Curry rocks my socks too! Have you ever seen Muppet Treasure Island? I think he should only take roles that let him wear tights, he has the _nicest _legs, I'm jealous!

heartsyhawk – I think more tissues would be a safe bet – but ooh, you won't know whether they'll be drying up tears of sadness or tears of joy, will you? Only I know for sure, bwa ha ha!

giggleboxsam – Argh! Thanks for alerting me to that, it's fixed now… Wow, I _majorly_ screwed up that sentence! I proofread it over and over, and still I manage to miss things like that… Shame on me.

Ms.Rogue LeBeau – Is Gambit _actually_ gonna be in X3? I've read that he might have a cameo, that he'll just be in the trailers, that he won't be in it… Argh! He _better _be in it! As for who should play him… I think Johnny Depp would be a great choice, but then that'd just be weird for a romance with Rogue, since he's so much older… Bah humbug. There are rumours that Orlando Bloom might play him, which would be hot… Who do you think?

Alyxandria – Frost _was_ one of my faves, until I had to do an Independent Study on him for English… Somehow the mystique of his work dwindles when you have to analyze his poetry to death… Now I'm obsessed with Dante Alighieri – I'm currently reading _The Inferno_, it's great. I'll have a Dante quotation coming up soon. Glad you get excited to see my updates! I feel the same way about yours, hint hint!

Argh, I've been trying to centre that little row of dashes that separates the scenes, and it won't work! I hate the world.

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 13 – Midway**

_"O memory! Thou midway world  
'Twixt earth and paradise,  
Where things decayed and loved ones lost  
In dreamy shadows rise."  
- Abraham Lincoln_

The bright lights of the carnival were blinking all around them as Remy and Rogue walked hand in hand down the midway, through a cacophony of noise. People were screaming and laughing all around them – there were a million distractions, but Remy was focused on the small smile that played on Rogue's face.

He was thrilled that she agreed to go out with him tonight, that ecstatic yet pleasantly nervous feeling churning in the pit of his stomach just as it always did whenever he saw her, or talked to her, or was near her… As usual, it had taken some cajoling on his part, but he knew that she would enjoy their outing. It would be nice for her to drop the cold, Goth façade that she wore around the others and just be herself for an evening.

It had been a slow process, but her mask had begun to slowly crumble away when she was with Remy, leaving him utterly bewitched by the beauty he saw underneath it – and it wasn't only her physical beauty either. She still kept some distance between them, however – Remy was doing his best to break her of that habit, wishing she would show her true feelings for him, like he did with her…

He hoped she realized that his feelings were genuine, and not just charming flirtations like they had started out – he cared about her. He knew she cared about him in return, yes, but was it deeper than that? Remy thought so, and he was determined to find out. Frankly, it unnerved him, not knowing exactly how she felt about him, when he had already hopelessly fallen for her.

"So, what y' wan' t' do now, _chère_?" he asked Rogue with a grin.

"Dunno, maybe a ride or somethin'?" she suggested.

"Well, since dere's no 'Tunnel o' Love', we'll have t' find somet'in' else…" he sighed dramatically.

The dimness of the evening and the flashing lights around them made it difficult, but Remy didn't miss Rogue's slight blush. She managed to compose herself quickly, and countered, "What makes yah think Ah'd even go on that ride with yah?"

"All de ladies wan' t' ride wit' dis Cajun," Remy shot back smoothly, leering teasingly at her.

Rolling her eyes, Rogue smacked him in the arm without even looking.

"Oww!" he whined jokingly – or at least, he tried to portray it that way. Rogue was quite strong... "Easy dere, _chère_. We both know dat y' love me, dere's no need t' get violent…"

"Yah _wish_," she scoffed, but the almost imperceptible smile that tugged up the corners of her lips betrayed her harsh words - that didn't escape Remy's keen eyes, and it filled him hope. She was good at hiding her feelings, just as he was – only now he was actually feeling something wonderful, some emotions he had never felt before, and they didn't want to remain hidden…

"All right, fine, mebbe we ride de Ferris Wheel den?" he proposed, steering her in that direction.

"Sure. But no funny business!" Rogue warned, wagging a finger at him. "Yah try anythin', an' Ah swear Ah'll throw yah off."

"Scout's honour, Roguey," Remy declared, saluting her with two fingers.

"Oh, there is _no way_ yah were a Boy Scout, swamp rat," she said, giving him a look of disbelief as they reached the line for the ride.

"All right den, t'ief's honour."

"Thieves _have_ honour?"

"Some do," he answered, as they stepped forward.

"Do yah?"

"Do y' t'ink I do?"

Rogue paused. She stared at him intently, as if sizing him up before she answered the question. Remy didn't even notice he was holding his breath as he waited for her response… But before she could reply, it was their turn to board the Ferris Wheel.

"Guess, we'll have t' find out, henh?" he smirked, holding out a hand to help her into the small compartment.

She accepted his hand, which he took as a good sign. A bar snapped in place to hold them in, and the ride began. It took them up and down again, around in a circle, with nothing being said between the two.

Soon they were stopped at the top while riders boarded below - Rogue took advantage of the view, looking out over the entire fairground. Meanwhile, Remy took advantage of the view he had of Rogue, never taking his gaze off her. She was smiling again, now that there was nobody around to see her. He felt it a shame – she had such a beautiful smile, one that should be shared with the world… But then again, he felt privileged that he was the one to bear witness to it.

Turning her head to the other side, she finally noticed that Remy was staring at her. She blushed again, turning away, but then he put an arm around her. She tensed at first, but Remy scooted towards her, bringing them closer together.

"Relax, _petite_," he whispered. "Dere's nobody here t' see us, it's jus' y' an' me, so enjoy de ride, henh?"

At his words, Rogue's body loosened up slightly. A few seconds later she sighed, and actually shuffled in closer to him. "Yah know, yah ain't that bad when yah're not bein' obnoxious," she muttered.

When he heard that, Remy was elated – Rogue had actually opened up to him, and with so little prodding this time! It wasn't the most complimentary declaration, but it was a start… Not wanting to ruin the moment, he bit his tongue and just pulled her closer. Then the wheel began to descend, signalling their time to get off. Remy cursed silently – he didn't want this to end just yet!

While Rogue was looking away to the other side, he took a wad of bills out of his trench coat pocket – he showed them to the operator with a pointed look. The man beamed and nodded, and their ride continued. They went around a few more times, not saying anything, but the silence wasn't awkward.

By the time they got off the Ferris Wheel, Rogue had rested her head on Remy's shoulder, and Remy was on cloud nine. Walking past the operator with his arm around Rogue's waist, he slipped the man the money – the experience was well worth every penny.

"What now, Roguey?" he then asked. "Some games?"

"There's no way we'll win anythin', Cajun," Rogue stated. "They're all rigged."

"Dat dey are," Remy conceded. "But y're wit' a professional t'ief, remember? 'M sneakier den dey are."

She snorted. "That Ah don't doubt."

Remy led them up to a ring toss booth – paying the worker, he received three rings in return. He then turned to Rogue, who was watching him doubtfully, and said, "De point is t' t'row de ring over de pegs – dat's easy 'nough, 'cept de rings be just a bit too small t' fit."

He demonstrated his point by throwing one of the rings – his aim was accurate, as always. It soared through the air and looked like it would fall directly onto the peg, but being the wrong size, it bounced off instead.

"So how do yah plan on winnin' then?"

"Watch an' learn, _chère_."

Making sure that nobody could see what he was doing, Remy lightly charged up the ring, watching it glow – with the molecules excited, he then gently pulled at it, stretching the circumference. Now it was larger, but not noticeably so. Retracting the charge, he held up the improved loop and grinned at Rogue. Without even looking towards his target, he tossed it – it met its mark, landing precisely on a peg.

To his surprise, Rogue laughed, and began to leisurely applaud. "Ah gotta admit, Ah'm impressed. But what are yah gonna do with that?" she pointed behind him.

Remy turned to find the operator of the booth handing him his prize – a giant stuffed bear. He could hardly wrap his arms around it, it was so large - he settled for placing it on the ground in between them. "I won it f'r y', o' course! What kind o' gentleman would I be if I didn'?"

"Fo' meh?" she repeated, raising an incredulous eyebrow. "What th' hell am Ah supposed to do with it then?"

"Well, y' can name it Remy an' it can keep y' company when 'm not around…"

"It's not anatomically correct – are yah tryin' to tell meh somethin'?" came her retort.

He smirked. "If it was, all de ot'er bears would be jealous, _chère_."

Remy chuckled as Rogue's cheeks tinted pink at his insinuation, and proceeded to charge, stretch, and throw the last ring. The attendant scowled, forced to hand over yet another enormous bear.

"Another one?" Rogue yelped.

"Roguey, y' should know by know dat when de Ragin' Cajun does somet'in', he goes all out."

"Well, since yah're bein' so chivalrous," she said sweetly. "Yah can carry 'em both fo' meh."

"_Mais, oui_," he consented, his gentlemanly manners kicking in automatically.

Bending down, Remy picked up one of the bears and managed to stick it under one arm. Carefully leaning over to grab the other one, the first began to slip out of place. He propped it against his hip to keep it steady, but then the other began to fall. It went back and forth like that, with him growing all the more frustrated.

One dropped to the ground, and he grunted in aggravation. Picking it up again, he supported it against his chest, which blocked his view of Rogue laughing at him. Managing to shuffle the massive creature under his arm once more, he turned to her, but she was gone.

"_Chère_?" Remy called out loudly, only to surprise himself at the volume of his voice – the racket around them had stopped, and everything was quiet. "_Chère_, where are y'?"

He turned around on the spot, intent on inexplicably picking her out of the crowd like he always could, but there was nobody else around. When the bears in his arms disappeared, leaving Remy gripping thin air, he was once again struck with grim realization. Refusing to simply allow it to continue, he sprinted through the midway, hoping to find her.

"Rogue?" he cried repeatedly, straining his ears for even the quietest of responses. "Please, if y're still here, answer me!"

There were no replies, but Remy kept running, even as the carnival faded away from view and the blinking lights becoming dimmer and dimmer.

- X -

It was a surprisingly quiet night at the Acolyte base, which was especially shocking since four team mates were all lounging in the common room together. Piotr was in the corner painting silently, John had created a game of checkers out of flames and was playing against himself, and Pietro was watching television, flipping the channels as quickly as the remote would allow him to.

Remy didn't know why Magneto's son was at the base in the first place, but suspected it had something to do with cable television and the absence of annoying Brotherhood members. He paid little attention to the other boy, who grated on his nerves with everything he did – instead, Remy was killing some time playing solitaire, and was thankful that the others were quiet for once. That didn't last long, however.

John having won (or lost, depending on which way you looked at it) against himself, extinguished his fire and appeared bored. Much to everybody's chagrin, when Pyro got bored, he began to chatter inanely.

"Oi, Petey, what'cha paintin?" he asked the Russian metal man.

Used to his constant silence, John took no offence when he didn't respond – he merely moved on to Pietro. "Anythin' good on th' telly, Pie-pie?"

Again, the Aussie received no reply. Catching sight of his last target, he cheerfully asked, "How's them cards comin' along, Rem?"

Remy just shot him a look, and returned his attention to his game, flipping a seven onto an eight.

"Crikey, blokes, let's go out or somethin', instead o' just sittin' here like bumps on a log! 'M bored… Remy, yah up for a coupla drinks, mate?"

"_Desolé _(sorry), Johnny, not t'night," he muttered, turning over another card.

"Ahh, got another hot date t'night, eh?" John winked.

_"Oui,_ as a matter o' fact, I do," Remy nodded, taking no notice of his friend's antics. Sometimes if you just ignored him, he'd go away…

"Who's th' shiela this time? Blonde, red head? Ooh, mebbe ya can set me up with a nice red head, red always reminds me o' fire, an-"

"Brunette, John. Well, mostly," he interrupted with a smile, knowing it was best to stop Pyro before he went into a rant. "An' it's de same _fille_ as all de ot'er times."

"Huh?" came the eloquent reaction, John's mouth dropping open. Pietro had switched off the television and was curiously (and obviously) eavesdropping on their conversation, and even Piotr had paused in the middle of a brushstroke to listen to Remy's explanation.

"Y' heard me. She be de same girl." He was just as surprised as they were, really… He hadn't expected to actually fall for someone, but Rogue just felt so… Right. And who was he to go against that? Remy knew not to ruin a good thing, and he was fairly sure that he had found the _best_ thing.

"Well, yeah mate, but… I mean… Damn."

"I believe vhat John vishes to say is zhat it is a surprise to see you vit one girl for so long," Piotr contributed, succinctly explaining his friend's reaction before turning back to his canvas. "Especially ze Rogue."

"WHAT!" shouted Pietro, swiftly jumping from the couch and startling the others. "You'regoingoutwithRogue?"

Remy blinked. "Come 'gain?"

"You're. Going. Out. With. Rogue?" he repeated, vehemently spitting out each word with forced slowness.

"Dat I am," beamed Remy, the goofy smile that appeared whenever he thought of her materializing unbidden on his face.

The silver-haired boy's eyes narrowed, and without another word, he sped from the room in a gust of wind that blew away Remy's cards.

"What de hell is his problem?" he grumbled, picking his deck up off the floor.

"Dunno, maybe th' git's got a crush on your shiela, eh?" John snorted.

"Y' t'ink so?" Remy questioned in surprise, a pang of jealousy already rising up from deep within him. That was a first, him feeling jealous…

"Seems like it, don' it?"

"Well, too bad," he scoffed. Pietro was no serious competition, he told himself. Remy saw some of the looks that Rogue directed towards Magneto's son – they were filled with annoyance and dislike. At the beginning, she had fixed him with those looks as well, but underneath it all, he was able to see intrigue and attraction… She didn't look at Pietro like that.

No, he was no threat to them, he was sure. Brushing it off, he told the others, "Now if y'll excuse me, I got de most _belle femme _in de world t' meet."

"Aww… Have fun!" John called out in a sing-song voice, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

"Always do," Remy smirked, heading towards the door until he noticed the room blurring. Stopping in his tracks and spinning around in confusion, he asked, "_Mes amis_ (my friends), what were we talkin' 'bout again? I can't remember…"

He could barely see Piotr's lips moving as he answered, and he couldn't even hear his response… Looking back and forth in bewilderment, Remy watched as the room died away.

* * *

Another chapter bites the dust!

Next chapter – Remy tries a new approach to keep Rogue hidden in his memories.

Gosh, you know what are great? Reviews! And wow, what a coincidence – by pressing that little button down there, you can write me some! Funny how things work out like that…

Toodles,

- ish -


	14. Strange

**Disclaimer:** Mine or not mine, that is the question! And a stupid one, at that… I think you all know the answer.

**A/N:** I'm addicted to the Raspberry Coconut tarts at the bakery where my friend works, I can't stop eating them! Oh, sweet coconut – and that just prompts me to sing!_I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, tweedily-deedily, there they are a-standin' in a row…_

Star-of-Chaos, demiducky25, Raven2687, Sweety8587,EviltwinAlix, Blackrougefillie, darkstorm5000, TheRealMai,Dreamcatcher89, TheDreamerLady, enchantedlight, Rogue14,SickmindedSucker, cool chick, Foxy-Glove, Adri, PsychoRomyChica,EE's Skysong, Anamaniax, heartsyhawk, RoguesTale, and EmeraldKatsEye – I've given you coconuts before, but since I'm currently raving about them, have some more. Thanks!

Evil-Bunny-Leader – Love the new name!

IvyZoe, giggleboxsam, and bluefirez – I'm dying to finish off the memory erasing stuff too, but just bear with me for about 4 or 5 more chapters, there's some key things coming up. Then the _real_ fun begins, bwa ha ha!

melancholic – Ooh, now I like monsoons too, if they give you more time to write! My summer ends in two weeks (sigh!), think we can get it up by then? But I feel insulted, you thinking that I might be liking Rietro – I mean, this is _me_ we're talking about! Tsk tsk, shame on you.

angyxoxo – I know exactly what you mean, if I saw another couple being so sweet I'd probably puke – yet somehow I crave it at the same time, especially if it's Romy. But some death would satisfy you? I'm afraid of a torch-and-pitchfork-carrying mob coming after me, so if you want death, you'll have to do it yourself. Oh crap, no, forget I said that!

Calliann – Well, you updated, so now I can't harass you to do it! Sigh.

UniversalAnimeGirl – I went on a huge ferris wheel in Vienna, I think it's the world's largest, it was spiffy. I've never seen ones with two wheels, but they sound cool. Remy sometimes stays with the Acolytes but has his own place, there'll be a tiny mention of that next chapter. You'll have to stay tuned for other answers.

SweetRevenge151 – Gee, thanks for rubbing in Britain's splendid rowing victory… ;-) I didn't actually watch it since I was still asleep (my dad woke me up with his yelling), so thanks for taking me through it. Pretty exciting actually, maybe you should be a sports writer?

Rogue4787 – The others try to keep it quiet around Rogue (she's picked up on the awkwardness, remember in the first two chapters?), and they don't really have a reason to tell her. Pietro sure wouldn't, why would he want to inform her of a past love? But we'll find out more about that later. The point is, nobody has slipped up yet.

silky black – The answer to your question is in last chapter's response to UniversalAnimeGirl.

Peace215 – Well, Rogue wouldn't really be all that bummed out about her situation, considering she doesn't know she lost Remy and control of hers powers! Ahh, ignorance is bliss… But yes, we're coming up to their first meetings, but no 'kidnapping' like in 'Cajun Spice' – I'm tweaking things, not following the episodes.

PomegranateQueen – Well, Xavier's a pretty busy guy, but maybe he can squeeze you in after Remy.

Alyxandria – Well, since it's _you_, and you pouted, maybe there's a _slim_ chance that could happen… ;-)

Ms.Rogue LeBeau – Ooh, that _would _be a good choice… Hell, I'll take anyone, as long as Remy's it it!

I really loved writing this chapter, it was the most fun so far, and it flowed quite easily… I feel kinda bad for teasing you with sweetness that just ends all angsty, so this time there's a bit of humour! ;-)

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 14 – Strange**

_"I think it is all a matter of love: the more you love a memory, the stronger and stranger it is." – Vladimir Nabokov_

Remy stood outside of Bayville High School and stared at the depressing structure. It was dull and square, seemingly designed to suck all the spirit out of its inhabitants. It reminded him of a prison - not that he had ever been in one, of course. He wondered how Rogue could stand going there every day…

Leaning against his motorcycle, he smirked to himself. 'Well, dis Cajun's here t' make her day a bit brighter,' he thought.

Seconds later the bell rang, and almost instantly hordes of students stampeded out the front doors, away from their daily captivity. Some vapid-looking girls passed by him, insipidly giggling and whispering about him, if the obvious glances directed his way were any indication. There was a time not long ago when he would have walked over to them, flirted shamelessly, and managed to leave having secured dates with all of them. Today however, he paid them no mind, because he saw his girlfriend walking towards him. His girlfriend… _Dieu_, that was satisfying to say.

"_Bonjour, chère_," Remy said as he bowed to Rogue.

"Meet meh at th' café!" she sighed in a frustrated manner, hands on her hips. "What part o' that didn't yah understand?"

"Oh, Roguey, I just couldn' wait t' see y'," he told her with a wink and a grin.

She rolled her eyes, but he knew she was secretly pleased at his compliments. "Charmer."

"_Oui_, dat I am," acknowledged Remy. "But y' should know by now dat wit' y', I only speak de truth." And that _was _the truth…

"Yah better be," she muttered, accepting his hand as he chivalrously helped her onto his bike. "Now, let's get outta here."

"Ah, 'm at de lady's command," he smirked and climbed aboard the vehicle, ready to whisk her away.

"Remy, Ah'm sure yah've noticed by now that Ah ain't no lady."

"Oh, y' must be, cause dis Cajun don' swing de ot'er way, _chère_."

Before she could voice a wicked retort that he knew was waiting on the tip of her tongue, Remy revved the engine and they took off. Rogue's arms wrapped around his waist and he smiled, loving how her body moulded its shape to his. This was why he cherished his motorcycle, and why he had abruptly changed their plans and come to pick her up from school – this was the only time where Rogue was forced to be so intimately close to him, and he savoured every second of it. He seized every opportunity he could to have her ride his bike with him.

They drove through Bayville towards the café, Remy purposely taking the longer route. He was finding it more and more difficult to control himself, especially when Rogue shifted and leaned closer to him, clasping her hands flat against his stomach. He wondered if she felt his breath catch…

Turning his head to look back at her, Remy's eyes widened in shock as he saw a curtain of fog behind them, following them, waiting to consume them.

"_Merde_," he cursed, and sped up, hoping to outrun it.

He nearly lost control of his bike when Rogue sat up, dragging her body along his to lean up and yell in his ear – despite the grave situation, he reacted with arousal to her moving sensually against him like that, even if she didn't realize how provocative the motion was.

"Remy, Ah've got an idea!" she shouted to him. "Instead o' runnin', why don't we hide?"

"What do y' mean?"

"How 'bout yah try an' take us to a different memory? One where Ah don't belong!" Rogue suggested.

"Can I even do dat?"

"Why th' hell not? It's yer mind, right?"

"Dat could work," he mused, and then frowned. "But _chère_, I can't remember anyt'in' befo' y'…"

"That's sweet, but try!"

"But which memory?" Remy wondered. He meant what he had just said, that it was hard to remember times prior to him meeting Rogue – as far as he was concerned, she was when his life had really started, when things had actually been turning out right. He knew now that things weren't worth remembering if they didn't have her there…

Rogue held on to him tighter, this time in fear, as the fog kept closing in. "Try somethin' that's buried away deep, it'll be harder to find! How 'bout an embarrassin' moment or somethin'?" she cried.

He groaned, a memory automatically springing to mind, but one that he didn't want to return to, let alone have Rogue see as well. However, with the haze nearly upon them, he closed his eyes, gripped her hands, and concentrated on it.

The growl of the motorcycle's engine faded, and the vehicle disappeared from underneath them – Remy felt almost like he was on a roller coaster, moving forwards at high speeds while wind whipped past him, accompanied by an uncomfortable lurching of his stomach. The only thing that reassured him was the feeling of Rogue next to him, and he gripped her tighter.

Suddenly the feeling diminished and Remy's body hastily jerked to a stop, causing his eyes to snap open. A smile slowly grew on his face when he recognized where he was – back in the bayou, at the Guild headquarters. He had done it!

Looking around, he saw his family and fellow Guild members mingle around, chatting with each other, sitting by a bonfire, swimming in the lake… He felt a swell of happiness erupt in his chest, knowing that he was home again – at least, for the time being. With Rogue still with him, the feeling was even greater.

He faced her, watching her take in the scene. His brows furrowed with confusion as he noticed that she was much taller than he remembered her… Remy grew even more perplexed when she turned to him and burst out laughing.

"_Quoi?"_ he asked indignantly.

"Look at yerself!" Rogue giggled.

Glancing down, Remy saw that he was only wearing a pair of swimming trunks, but that wasn't exactly what she found amusing. He realized that this memory had occurred when he was only about ten years old – his body was now that age as well.

"Yah're so adorable!" she squealed, ruffling his hair affectionately, and then grinned wryly. "What happened?"

"Don' be patronizin', Roguey!" he mumbled, already embarrassed, and this wasn't even the humiliating part of his memory. Trying to downplay it, he flexed his muscles (which were quite smaller than those he had in the present time, Remy noted with disappointment) and smirked. "What, y' don' like what y' see, _chère_?"

She scoffed, and raised an eyebrow. "Rem, yah look like yer even younger than Jamie. Ah'm sure as hell not oglin' yah now, Ah'd feel like a pervert!"

"Well, 'm sure okay wit' it, 'm datin' a hot older _femme_!"

Rogue groaned in annoyance, and shook her head. "Ah thought yah were th' one supposed to be embarrassed here, not meh!"

Remy grimaced. "Don' worry, chère, 'm sure y'll see dat soon 'nough…"

After he spoke those words, he heard Emil shout from the water, "Hey, Remy! _Viens ici_! (come here!)"

Feeling strangely compelled to play out the memory, Remy walked out onto the dock towards the water, Rogue following. When he reached the edge, he turned to her and was about to speak, when he heard his cousin behind him. He reacted too slowly, and before he knew it, Emil had pulled down his trunks!

Everybody around him fell into hysterics, which only increased in volume when Remy attempted to pull up his shorts and turn to yell at Lapin at the same time, causing him to lose his balance and fall into the lake.

For a few moments under the water, Remy welcomed the peace and quiet – unfortunately, when he emerged, the uproar of his family and friends once again assaulted his ears. If that wasn't bad enough, as he looked up, Rogue stood on the pier, laughing so hard that tears streamed down her face – that made the situation much more mortifying than he had remembered, and he felt his face burn with embarrassment.

"Gawd, Remy, that… That was hilarious!" she stammered amidst some chuckles, once she had calmed herself down enough to finally speak.

"_Non_, it really wasn'," he grumbled, pouting and hoping Rogue would take pity on him. She could barely withstand his puppy-dog expression when he was grown, so he hoped the fact that he looked like a young child would make it even more irresistible.

Remy was right, and Rogue leaned down and extended a gloved hand towards him, intending to help him out of the water. Instead, he took it and pulled, yanking her down to join him with a shriek and a large splash.

She surfaced seconds later, sputtering and coughing, and looking murderous. He barely noticed that, however – his attention was focused on how the water caused her clothing to cling tightly to her lithe frame, showing off the sexy curves that he had long since memorized, and that had provided endless fodder for some of his more explicit dreams.

Remy was thankful that the water was rather murky, for it hid the reaction that he was having due to seeing Rogue sopping wet… His eyes were glued to her body, never even noting that she was moving closer to him. Quick as a flash, she dunked him under the water in retaliation.

When he broke the surface, he was fully intending to send a wave of water back her way, until his eyes locked on something in the distance. Fog was rapidly rolling in on the bayou – only there hadn't been any fog on this day…

"Looks like he found us, _chère_," Remy whispered, swimming closer to her and taking her hand.

"Try again, sugah," she put forth.

"Again?"

"Yeah, find another memory, somethin' yah tried hard to forget."

He took a deep breath and concentrated once more, trying to change the scene… He had a good idea as to where they could hide next. He had tried his best to repress it – he never wanted to think about it again, let alone relive it, but if it would help him keep Rogue, then Remy would do it without hesitation.

Again, he felt the strange sensation of moving through his mind, and he held Rogue's hands all the tighter. When the feeling stopped, they found themselves in his room.

Remy, or more specifically, Remy at fourteen years old, was lying in bed, with Rogue sitting beside him. She took in her surroundings curiously – his room was lavish, much like the rest of the Guild mansion. Large wooden furniture stood grandly, with a few motorcycle posters gracing the deep red walls and decks of cards randomly lying around.

Turning to look at him, Rogue suddenly shrieked and blushed furiously, shutting her eyes. "Remy!"

He held a magazine that he stole from Henri's private stash in one hand, open to a nude centrefold – meanwhile, his other hand was reaching deep below his covers, moving back and forth to a quick rhythm as he pleasured himself. "_Quoi? _Y' live in a house full o' boys, Roguey, y'd t'ink dis would be pretty common," he told her unabashedly.

"Ah'm sure it is," she replied, eyes still firmly shut. "But Ah've never witnessed it, an' Ah've certainly never been in th' guy's bed at th' same time!"

"Good," Remy stated, his breathing becoming a bit heavier. Then he put down the magazine and smirked. "Y' know, now dat y're here, I don' need dat…"

"REMY!" exclaimed Rogue, her cheeks flaring bright red.

"What, dat's not flatterin' f'r y'?" he asked as his hand moved faster, finding her even more beautiful when she blushed. Yes, she was much better inspiration than that model…

"Uh… Umm…" she stammered, searching for an answer.

Before she could articulate one, the door opened. They both started in shock when an equally surprised _Tante_ Mattie appeared in the doorway. "Oh!" she gasped as her eyes flitted from Remy's magazine to the movements that were being obscured by his blanket. "Oh my…"

"_Tante_!" he shouted, rapidly sweeping the magazine aside and sitting up in bed, attempting to act normally. "Uh…"

"Oh… Never mind, I'll jus' come back later, chil'," she murmured, trying to hide a smile as she backed out of the room and shut the door.

Remy groaned, in mortification rather than pleasure, and fell back onto his pillows. Beside him, Rogue began to snicker.

"Yah crazy Cajun… Yah're actually _proud_ in some twisted way to do that in front o' yer girlfriend, but embarrassed to do it in front o' yer aunt?" she teased.

"Dat's dif'rent…"

"Yeah, an' funnier, too!" she laughed.

"Hey, dis was a traumatizin' event,_chère_!" protested Remy. "Some sympat'y, please?"

"A thief should know to lock doors too, not just unlock 'em," was all she said.

"Yo' cruel."

"Ah know," she smirked.

"Well, mebbe y' can make it up t' me if y' take off yo' shirt or somet'in', so I can finish up here?" he proposed, still craving a release.

Right away, he knew he had said the wrong thing. Rogue's eyes narrowed dangerously, and he had time to wince before she seized a pillow and whacked him over the head with it with all her might.

He grabbed it from her, and shouted, "Dis means war!"

She shrieked and reached for another pillow, but not before Remy managed to smack her first. A pillow fight of epic proportions began, the pair hitting each other mercilessly, until Rogue decided to abandon her weapon – instead, she lunged for Remy and began to tickle his sides.

"Rogue, dat's cheatin'!" he laughed uncontrollably, unwittingly using his powers to charge up the pillow he was still attempting to strike her with. When it made contact, it burst into a thick shower of white feathers that floated down all around them – there were so many that they blocked Rogue from view as they fell.

Waving his arms in the air to clear them away, Remy's mirth abruptly ended when he saw that she was no longer on the bed with him. Sitting up, he hurriedly glanced around the room, but there was nobody in it except himself. Heaving a sigh, he furiously cursed himself for taking his eyes her, even for a second.

Letting himself fall back down onto the bed in disappointment and frustration, all Remy could do was wait for the next memory to be relived.

* * *

Shall we all giggle mercilessly at Remy's humiliation? Oh, I think we shall!

Next chapter – The official boyfriend/girlfriend talk.

You all want more, right? Right? Do ya? Huh? Well, prove it – review!

Toodles,

- ish -


	15. Too Soon

**Disclaimer:** This is the part where I tell you that I don't own the X-Men! I don't own the X-Men.

**A/N:** This is the part where I write some fun little author's note that doesn't really have anything to do with anything! Then I go into the part where I respond to reviewers.

Star-of-Chaos, Aro, Alyxandria, Orage (x2!), Peace215, Raven2687, PomegranateQueen, demiducky25, EviltwinAlix, Sweety8587, giggleboxsam, TheRealMai, heartsyhawk, Adri, enny, Anamaniax, spankychaff, TheDreamerLady, enchantedlight, EE's Skysong, Jessie, Rogue Almighty, darkstorm5000, Silver Ink, Evil-Bunny-Leader, Dreamcatcher89, IvyZoe, Beer'n'chips, Tirya King, and Rogue14 – This is where I thank all of you! Thank you!

Sophie – I'm sorry, please don't send a wallaby after me! Just kidding… ;-) I must say, I'm rather disappointed with the Americanization – but I feel your pain! Try living right next to them… And yes, there _is _a really hot Canadian diver – are you thinking of Alexandre Despatie? He's got the scruffy-puppy look, which I'm _such_ a sucker for… Sigh!

Goddess Evie – Aww, now it was _your _turn to leave wonderful reviews, and you sure did! For all my fics, too, I appreciate that. You know, I really _should _leave you hanging since you took so long, but I guess I'm just too nice of a person! Of _course_ the naked Remys were a coincidence, are you trying to imply something? Heh heh… And sorry, you'll have to fight me for the position of stunt double.

Eileen Blazer – Glad you managed to remove the dagger and join the party! You should've seen my grin when I found all those reviews from you in my mailbox, I felt all warm and fuzzy inside! I loved reading them, and seeing your progression from being angry about Remy to feeling sad for him, from some pity for Belle to not so much of that… And ever-so-fun Pietro hatred all the way through, that was nice. Don't worry, you'll hate him even more by the time I'm done with this! But I don't think I can do much about the mayonnaise thing, sorry. I love mayo… And I did know about the review thing cutting off long strings of letters, it makes me so angry! I mean, what if I want to accentuate my outrage with a dozen exclamation marks? I should be able to, dammit! Thanks for explaining about your 'Aaaahh's in your review for 'Just This' – now that I know, it reads in a much more distraught way, which makes me feel much more evil! And cue my cackling.

Speck – Your review was so very Shakespearean! How positively droll.

UniversalAnimeGirl – Well, my inspiration for the second of Remy's humiliations came from the movie. The first one I just made up, since I needed to make the chapter a bit longer. Ooh, thanks for the cover pages – Romylicious!

SweetRevenge151 – My dad is one of those guys that likes to scream at the tv and criticize every little thing the athletes do, hence his yelling. Glad you had fun at Reading, with Morrissey. Did he wear his white dinner jacket? I'm so excited now, he's coming to Toronto in October and I got tickets! Squeal! I'll blow him a kiss for you, since you did for me. As for a "happy ending pact"… Well, you've already written yours, but I'll see what I can do…

melancholic – Yes, Emil was rather naughty – I _had _to have him do it, it's so in his nature! Hah, somebody needs a spanking… Damn, I'm twisted. Believe me, I'd love to include more light-hearted stuff like that, but the plot compels me! But you'll be glad to know that after this is finished, I'll have another sexy little romantic comedy one-shot in the works – I hope.

silky black – I guess Remy's memories save Xavier the trouble of renting porn, eh? ;-) As for the quotations, I cheat – I search for them on the web! Believe me, you're not the only one bummed about back-to-school… Sigh. And if you want to know how it'll end, well, keep reading!

angyxoxo – Once again, I'm proud of you for reviewing so quickly! And yes, that was quite a dirty thought you had, but I thought of it too. Do you know how much willpower I had to exert to not write a lemon? But then I remembered that Remy was younger and it would've been _very_ weird… eww.

This is the part where I write a short little blurb before going on to the chapter.

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 15 – Too Soon**

_"We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget." – Joan Didion_

Remy's fingers drummed an impatient staccato beat on the table as he leaned back in his chair. He sat at the rear of _Le Café _Café, waiting. He felt twitchy, desperately craving a cigarette, but he had quit – for her.

He had only gone one day so far without indulging in his bad habit, and he could barely stand it. He supposed he could easily sneak outside and smoke, or do it when Rogue wasn't around, but he wasn't quite sure what stopped him. Instead, the Cajun felt the need to make good on his promise – he would prove it to himself that he could do it, and prove it to her as well… He'd show her that he could keep his word. Plus, it was added incentive that she hated smokers – maybe this would raise her opinion of him?

Remy absently swirled the coffee in his mug. If he couldn't have his nicotine, his caffeine would have to make due. He was glad he had it, for without it, he probably would have fallen asleep. He was exhausted, not having gotten any rest the night before – a certain green-eyed beauty had been plaguing his thoughts, and he had yet to find a cure for that.

Thankful that there was at least a remedy to keep him awake, he carefully sipped the steaming coffee. Feeling the warm liquid pour down his throat, the thief scanned the establishment expertly, as he was trained to do. He was aware of everyone in the building and what they were doing, but now his attention focused on two girls walking towards him.

He looked them over. They were rather pretty, a brunette and a red head, wearing short skirts and low-cut shirts. They made their way over to stand beside him, and simultaneously flashed him inviting smiles, as if the action had been choreographed.

"Hi there," began the brunette, placing a manicured hand on the table and leaning over enticingly. "I'm Laura, and this is my friend Sharon."

"_Bonjour_," Remy replied, smiling politely in return. "Nice t' meet y' two." He had to keep himself from laughing as their eyes widened upon hearing his accent.

"You speak French?" gushed the red head, what was her name again? Right, Sharon. "That's _so_ romantic!"

"Totally!" added Laura. "Are you from France?"

He felt the overwhelming urge to roll his eyes. "_Non_, from N'Awlins."

They blinked in confusion. Remy wondered how he could have ever found girls like this bearable…

After the two girls looked at each other and shrugged away their puzzlement, Laura continued, "Well anyway, we saw you sitting here all alone and thought you might like some company."

"Dat's sweet o' y', but 'm actually waitin' f'r someone," he told them, hoping they would take the hint. No such luck.

"Well, they're not here yet, so how about we sit with you until then?" Sharon suggested, shooting Remy a pout that did nothing to weaken his resolve.

He was about to decline when he heard a voice speak up from behind the girls that made him grin. "Ah've got a better idea – how 'bout y'all mosey along?"

They all turned, seeing a Goth girl standing there, arms crossed in annoyance. Almost comically, Sharon and Laura turned back towards Remy with surprised looks on their faces, as if to ask, "_Her_?"

"_Chère_!" he exclaimed happily, getting up from his seat and breezing past the other girls without so much as a glance. He took Rogue's hand, and placed a kiss on the back of it.

His admirers frowned in disappointment, turned and then stalked away. He smirked at the sight, and it widened when he saw the wicked grin Rogue had on her face as she also watched them leave in a huff.

Chuckling, he led her to the table and pulled out a chair for her. "Well, Rogue, fancy meetin' y' here," he said, a little too innocently.

"Yeah, what a coincidence," she snickered. "Glad Ah got here at such a good time."

"I t'ink y' enjoyed crushin' dose _filles_ a bit too much," Remy laughed jovially.

"But it was so easy, an' so fun!" Rogue grinned, joining in. She had such a beautiful laugh…

"Won' argue wit' dat," he agreed. "Glad y' did it, dey were too annoyin' f'r my tastes."

"Hmm, maybe Ah shouldn't ever leave yah alone then, if yah keep attractin' annoyin' girls…" she mused jokingly.

Remy smiled. "Dat's what I've been hopin' f'r," he said seriously, reaching for her hand once more.

"…What?" she questioned after a beat, not fully understanding. She looked so cute when she was confused…

"I wan' t' spend more time wit' y', Rogue." There, he said it. Well, more like blurted it out, but at least it was out there in the open.

"Yah mean, more than yah've already spent stalkin' meh an' such?" she asked sarcastically.

He tried to ignore her tone and biting comments. "I was t'inkin' like… Datin'."

"Datin'?" echoed Rogue, blinking. "We've already had three 'dates', an' Ah really don't even know how yah managed that! Ain't that datin'?"

He supposed it was. In all actuality, Remy didn't have much experience dating – he had never had three dates anybody, since he usually got what he wanted from girls before then, discarded them, and moved on. He was amazed with this situation as much as Rogue appeared to be.

Her wide, mystified eyes opened even further when Remy revealed, "I was hopin' we could do more."

"More?" she repeated, utterly baffled. "As in… A boyfriend an' girlfriend kinda thing?"

He nodded, squeezing her fingers tighter. "_Oui_," he rasped, and held his breath.

Frankly, he wasn't entirely sure what he was doing, but he knew that he wanted it! Seeing her laugh with him, smile with him… He knew he couldn't just forget about her like he had first intended. He had thought about this during his sleepless hours last night, after the afternoon they spent together… Remy hadn't planned this conversation, the words were out of his mouth before he could even think about them, but he didn't regret them.

A small part of his mind wondered why he was even bothering – he couldn't touch her, which was all that his past relationships (if they could even be called that) were based on. What else did Remy have to offer her? He didn't know, but something deep inside of him told him to forge ahead anyway. He liked talking to her, joking with her, flirting with her, and spending time with her, and he wanted to keep doing that.

"Remy…" she murmured quietly, unsurely. It was the first time she had called him by his real name, and he loved how she said it.

He could see the uncertainly expressed on her face, and he spoke quickly, trying to convince her that he meant it, that he wanted to be with her, that they should be together.

"I t'ink we'd be good f'r each ot'er, Rogue. We compliment each ot'er in some ways, an' den in ot'er ways we're opposites, we balance out," he blurted, and then frantically scoured his mind for everything he knew about her. "We're both from de South, we're both adopted, both had screwed up family lives… We're both mutants, y' absorb power an' I let it out… Y' keep people away, I draw dem in… 'M optimistic, y're pessimistic… Hell, even our eyes, _chère_, dey're opposites! We're alike in de ways dat we need t' be so we can relate t' each ot'er, an' we're diff'rent in de ways dat we need t' be so dat we can push each ot'er! We're a perfect balance, Rogue, dat has t' mean somet'in'."

Remy then took a deep breath, watching Rogue stare at him in bewilderment, mouth agape. He hoped his words would reach her, and break through her barriers… He had no clue as to where that speech had come from – it wasn't calculated, it wasn't premeditated to raise his standing, it just poured out of him. He was startled to realize that every word he had spoken was the truth – Remy had bore a piece of his soul for her, and he just prayed it would work.

"Remy," she began again, voice unsteady. "Ah don't know what to say…"

"Say yes," he pleaded, not paying attention to how desperate he sounded. Perhaps he was coming on too strongly – he seriously doubted that anybody had ever said such things to Rogue, and maybe it was scaring her, but he needed to prove his point.

"Ah… We can't," she mumbled, bowing her head and withdrawing her hand from his. "Yah know, yah're actually a nice guy, but there's just too much standin' in th' way."

"Like what?" Whatever it was, he felt a determination like never before to beat it.

"We're on opposin' teams!"

"Dat won' stop us if we don' let it."

"Maybe not… But then mah powers-"

"Don' matter t' me," Remy finished for her, leaning across the table and placing a gloved finger underneath her chin, lifting her head up. "I jus' want _you_, _chère_, and yo' powers are a part o' y', I know dat. Dey're not scarin' me away."

He was astounded to find that he meant it – her powers and their team affiliations were the last things on his mind, he was just so desperate to have her agree! He held his breath as he waited for her answer…

Face flushed, her hair fell down around it as she tried to hide it from him. "Y-yes," she stuttered.

"Yes?" he asked, wanting to be sure, but already getting his hopes up. "Yes what?"

Rogue laughed nervously, shaking her head up and down. "Yes, Ah think we could give it a try… Ah'll be yer girlfriend."

Laughing as well, only in relief, Remy dropped his arms onto the table, nearly spilling his coffee. His hands found hers again, and he couldn't stop a grin from taking up residence on his lips. A girlfriend… He had a girlfriend!

Standing up, he pulled Rogue to her feet and walked her over to the counter. "Well, in honour o' dis momentous occasion, how 'bout y' let yo' new boyfriend buy y' a coffee?" he suggested.

"Yah know Ah can't turn down an offer like that," she replied, as they took their place in line, their fingers still tangled together. It was probably the most contact she had had with another person for a long time, and he hoped it wouldn't alarm her, but he couldn't bare to let go just yet.

While they waited, Remy noticed her watching him intently. "_Quoi_?"

She blushed once more, caught staring. "It's just… Ah've never had a boyfriend," she informed him, obviously embarrassed but not looking away. "It's… Ah dunno, it's…" she trailed off.

It was funny, because he had never had a girlfriend – there were the countless one-night stands and nameless women, not to mention the fiancée he had had since he was a young boy, but there was never anybody he stayed with long enough to consider an official girlfriend. This would be a nice change… But he could never tell her any of that. Instead, he just squeezed her hand reassuringly and graced her with a warm smile.

It dropped when he glanced up and out the storefront windows of the café – fog could be seen outside, getting ever thicker. Swearing, he turned and ran, pulling Rogue along with him. They dodged tables and chairs, moving towards the back of the building, to where Remy knew there was another exit. Reaching for the handle and yanking the door open, he concentrated as hard as he could as they stepped through into the darkness…

Only to enter the café again, this time through the front door.

"Weren't we just here?" asked a puzzled Rogue.

"Kinda. I t'ink dis is a later memory," Remy explained, although he was unsure of how exactly he had managed it. "Y've already been erased from dis one, so mebbe we can hide here…"

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Rogue began to chuckle. "It's like we always end up here, ain't it?"

"It _was_," he sighed, dropping into a chair.

Standing beside him, she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Just try yer best, okay? That's all yah can do now."

"I _am_ tryin'," he cried, leaning on the table and burying his head in his arms. "But we're gettin' closer an' closer t' de start!"

Opening his eyes, Remy noticed mist rolling across the floor. Hurriedly sitting upright, he looked towards the door – fog was seeping in beneath it. Turning around, the back of the café was no longer visible – the haze obscured it from view. He could do nothing more.

Wrapping his arm around Rogue's waist, he pulled her onto his lap. Burrowing his face in her hair, he closed his eyes and waited.

- X -

He just needed to get out of the base for a while – Pietro was zipping around, driving him crazy, and coupled with John's pyromania, Remy felt an overwhelming urge for some peace and quiet. He decided to head to his apartment, where he often went to escape the chaos of the Acolytes – he was glad he had gotten a place of his own.

It was a warm, sunny day outside, so he opted to simply stroll through the park. On the way, Remy congratulated himself on that decision when he saw Rogue in the distance, sitting on a bench while immersed in a book.

He stopped dead in his tracks, not ready to approach her just yet. But why not? He fidgeted slightly, wondering why he wasn't moving any closer towards her. Was he… Could he be… Nervous?

He shook his head firmly, telling himself that was just foolishness. She was just another _fille_, there was no reason to be nervous around her! Although what else could the fluttering in his stomach be? It was the same feeling that he got before a heist, his nerves bouncing around excitedly. Maybe that was it, the element of danger…

'_Oui_, dat's it,' Remy tried to convince himself. It was simply the element of danger Rogue presented – after all, one wrong word and he had no doubt that she would throw a punch at him. That was all it was…

A tiny voice in the back of his head began to laugh at him, telling him that it was more than that and he knew it, but Remy shook his head once more and ended his internal debate. Looking back up towards the girl in question, he squared his shoulders and strode confidently over to her, resolutely ignoring whatever perplexing emotions were brewing inside of him.

When he arrived at her bench, Rogue didn't notice him. Amused at how engrossed she was in her book (which, he noted with delight, was the one he had given her, along with the Queen of Hearts), he decided to sit down beside her. She continued reading, not even lifting her head.

Remy watched her for a while longer. It was too bad that her hair fell around her face, blocking those breathtaking eyes from his view. Deciding to do something about that, he cleared his throat. She still didn't move. He tried again, this time giving a little cough.

"What?" she snapped, jerking her head up with green eyes blazing. Ahh, there they were…

"_Bonjour, chère_," Remy smiled as recognition dawned on Rogue when she saw just who was bothering her. "How are y' dis fine day?"

"Ah'm fine, swamp rat," she scowled. He took heart, knowing it wasn't the fiercest look she could give. "At least, Ah was until yah interrupted meh."

"So sorry t' bot'er y'," he replied, not meaning it. "But I was wonderin' 'bout dat date y' promised me."

She scoffed contemptuously, and stuck the playing card between two pages as a bookmark. "Oh, yah mean th' date that yah _tricked _meh into?"

"_Oui_, dat's de one," he grinned without shame. The method may have been shady, but it produced the desired result! "I t'ought dis might be a good time f'r it, henh?"

She blinked, startled. "What, now?"

"_Oui_."

"No way, Ah'm not ready or anythin'!" Rogue shook her head vehemently, looking flustered.

"Hmm, did y' wan' advanced notice, so y' could try an' impress me, Roguey?" Remy teased. "Mebbe y' care mo' den y'd like t' admit, henh?"

"No way!" she denied, but couldn't hide her blush, made even more obvious by her pale cheeks.

"Don' worry, _chère_," he chuckled. "Y' look _belle_ all de time, y' wouldn' need t' do anyt'in' t' impress me." He actually meant that, too…

Rogue blushed even harder, turning away to save herself some embarrassment, unable to look at him. Remy just found it adorable that she could be so strong and yet so gentle at the same time. She was even more gorgeous when she blushed, it softened her, and he decided he liked seeing different facets to her personality like that. He'd have to make her blush more often, which was a task he was more than willing to undertake – the words flowed so easily from his mouth, he barely had to think about his flattery. He briefly wondered what that could mean…

But Remy didn't think he would like where those thoughts could lead. Instead, he decided to change topics, and graciously save Rogue from her discomfort. "So, how y' like de book?"

She turned back to him, eyeing him with curiosity, as if not expecting him to give her leave like that. "It's good," she finally said, her face slowly returning to its normal pallor.

"I've never read it. Tell m' about it," he prompted, wanting her to talk more. He couldn't get enough of her sweet Southern drawl, that somehow made him miss his home and feel like he was back there all at the same time.

"Well, so far it's mah favourite of th' series," she began slowly, but seemed to get more excited and enthusiastic as she continued. "Th' movie was good, but Ah wish Ah read th' book first, cause now Ah keep picturin' th' actors in mah head when Ah'm readin', instead of mah own imagination comin' up with stuff…"

Remy found himself hanging on to her every word, charmed by her eagerness and passion. She was an intelligent girl, so different from countless others he had met. She had something they didn't – there was some other quality she possessed, other than the obvious wit and sass and breathtaking beauty, that he couldn't put his finger on yet. Something that called to him, that drew him in, and he was determined to figure out what.

The only approach he could think of that could satiate his obsession with her was to get to know her better. He commented on his own tastes in reading, and even suggested some books to her – from there they chatted amiably about movies, music, and television, jumping easily from one topic to another, never a lull in the conversation. A few hours passed, and Remy was surprised to see how well they could get along when they weren't bantering and bickering with each other! In such a short time he had already told her more about himself than most people knew, and he was willing to bet that Rogue could say the same.

He learned that she liked spring best out of all the seasons (because the flowers began to bloom, and they reminded her of the wildflowers on the banks of the Mississippi), she loved thunderstorms (she would even go sit in the garden and watch them), and that her favourite feeling was the grass in between her bare toes. In return, she learned that he liked summer (especially those lazy days where he could lounge around on the bayou), he hated fog (for some unknown reason), and that his favourite feeling was the rush after a successful heist.

They weren't important revelations, but nevertheless, revealed private parts of their personalities that worked towards building up a tentative trust and understanding between the two. Rogue's comment about Southern cooking prompted Remy to tell her about his _Tante_ Mattie's famous dinners, and without even thinking, he began to talk of his life in the South, of how he was adopted by Jean-Luc, and how he became a thief. Rogue then told him about living with Irene, to being betrayed by Mystique. Things took a more serious turn, but in a way their stories comforted the other, with the knowledge that another had experienced similar events.

Remy marvelled at the fact that he had shared such an intimate part of his life with her. It just seemed natural to open up to her like that – normally he was so guarded, but he divulged his history without question. Wondering why exactly that was made his head hurt, so he reached for a cigarette. Putting it between his lips and lighting it with his powers, he turned back to Rogue to see a revolted expression adorn her face.

"That's a disgustin' habit, yah know," she told him, wrinkling her nose adorably. "Plus, it'll kill yah."

"Aww, _chère_, y' _do_ care!" he exclaimed, throwing down the smoke and stubbing it out with his boot. "If it bot'ers y' dat much, I'll quit."

Rogue looked at him, amazed. "Just like that? Yah'll quit?"

"_Oui_." He hoped that would impress her…

"Well, good luck," she chuckled, getting up off the bench. "Watchin' yah go cold turkey oughta be fun."

He frowned, standing up to join her. "Where y' goin'?"

"We've been here fo' hours, Cajun. Ah gotta get back to th' Institute," she told him, causing a pang of disappointment to course through him.

Hours? She was right – the afternoon had passed so quickly, he had barely noticed. It felt like it was over too soon. Remy wanted to spend more time with her, so he spoke quickly and shot Rogue a winning smile. "Well, how 'bout anot'er date den?"

"Why should Ah say yes? All we did was sit in th' park, that don't really impress a gal, swamp rat," she taunted him with a smirk.

"Hey, give a guy a break, _chère_!" protested Remy, throwing his hands up in the air. "It was short notice, but dere were no gimmicks, just like y' said – only y' an' me gettin' t' know each ot'er, dat's gotta count f'r somet'in'! Don' tell me y' didn' have a good time…"

"Well…"

"Y' know, if y' agree t' go out wit' me again, I'll _definitely_ impress y'," he coaxed her, planting a kiss on one of her palms.

Rogue looked down at their intertwined hands with a half-smile, and Remy was glad she didn't pull away. "Okay, so Ah did have an _okay_ time," she grudgingly admitted, but then her smile faded. "But we pro'ly shouldn't hang out again. Ah mean, we're supposed to be enemies, swamp rat."

"I don' consider y' m' enemy, _chère_," he informed her earnestly. "In fact, y' de farthest t'ing from it."

She seemed to believe him, but he could still see worry in those deep green eyes of hers that told him she wasn't fully sure of what to do. "How 'bout dis, Rogue. T'morrow afternoon, I may jus' _happen_ t' be at de café," Remy drawled in an overly innocent tone, stressing certain words and giving her a very pointed look. "Wouldn' it be a _coincidence_ if we ran int' each ot'er dere?"

Rogue snickered, getting the message, and he was relieved to see her grin once more. "Why yes, that would be quite a coincidence, wouldn't it?" she pretended to mull it over, and turned to leave. "See yah 'round, Cajun."

Gambit watched her go, but his eyes noticed the fog surrounding them instead of the gentle sway of her hips that he had planned on watching. Cursing, he shot forward and grabbed Rogue's arm, preventing her from walking into the haze.

He sighed in defeat, but when he looked down at her, he couldn't help but smile fondly. "Too bad dis has t' go, _chère_," he whispered. "I liked dis memory. I t'ink it's de time dat I won y' over…"

"Ah think it was too," she replied. They were silent as the fog encircled them, coming ever closer – it was too late to run now. As the cloud drifted between them, beginning to cut Rogue away from Remy, she murmured, "Maybe yah can do it again?"

He heard her words before she disappeared, and quietly said, "I hope so" to the emptiness around him.

* * *

This is the part where I make some witty comment!

Next chapter – Rogue gets tricked into a date! Or two…

And finally, this is the part where I tell you to review. Review!

Toodles,

- ish -


	16. Trail

**Disclaimer:** Hah, oh, you think I own the X-Men? Heh heh… oh, wow, that's funny… Tee hee hee. Yeah, so that's a NO.

**A/N:** Here we go again! Before we get to the review responses, I've got an important announcement to make! So, much to my chagrin, summer is over and I'm starting university this week. Sadly, that means updates may not be as quick as they have been – I'll do my best, but with my workload, I'm just not sure how much time I'll have! How disappointing… But I promise you'll still get your ishandahalf fixes, just not as regularly. Sorry!

Star-of-Chaos, PomegranateQueen, demiducky25, Orage, Anamaniax, Sweety8587, TheDreamerLady, EE's Skysong, Dreamcatcher89, ChibiKaril, silky black, Adri, enchantedlight, TheRealMai, heartsyhawk, and darkstorm5000 – Know what are great? Jelly Belly jellybeans. So everybody have a thank-you bean, pick your own flavours, wheeee! I'm eating some right now… Can you tell that I'm on a sugar high?

Alyxandria – Glad you liked the coffee bits – I think it only came out so well because I was seriously craving one. Oh, sweet caffeine… Sorry I'm a bit hypocritical, scolding you for badness when I did it too, but that's just the way I am! You're right, though, there really wouldn't be a plot without it, you'll have to trust me to get us all through this!

Sophie – Sexy, toned glory indeed… Drool! Well, glad your seething is quiet, rather than loud. But hmm, where'd you get the idea that there'd be a happy ending? Bwa ha ha… Although with the threat of an angry wallaby, I just might have to do it! Eeep.

SweetRevenge151 – Curses, I didn't hear them play the Cure over any events! Although I did dance along to 'YMCA' – how can you _not_? Glad the Moz wore a dinner jacket, white or not – oh, I _love _"Everyday is like Sunday"! Gosh, I really hope he plays that when I see him… Hah, 50 Cent getting booed sounds hilarious, and I detest the White Stripes. Anyhoo, here's your update – are you inspired yet? Bring on your epilogue!

giggleboxsam – Aww, I appreciate your sacrifice, I really do! I guess the tables have turned, cuz now this fic will spoil the movie for you, instead of the other way around… Oops?

Eileen Blazer – Yeah, those girls weren't exactly the sharpest fishes in the socket. No, I don't think it'd make you a bad friend if you didn't invite someone to go hit on a hottie with you – but it _would _make you a bad friend if you tried to "accidentally" incapacitate them or something to knock out the competition. Not that you would do something like that though, right? Well, _only_ for Remy…

Goddess Evie – You know, I'm one of those weird people who actually likes creamed corn, so I'll pick that!

Calliann – Crying again? Do you have any floatation devices around when you read fics, for safety purposes? I wouldn't want you to drown… ;-) As for your questions… Well, just wait and see! Or read, technically.

angyxoxo – 50 chapters? Nahh. If all goes according to plan (which I hope it does), then this'll be under 30. Frankly, I'm also getting rather impatient! I like a dark Remy too, but I don't know if I could write one well – the romantic in me takes over, and out comes the sweetness! Well, maybe someday…

Raven2687 – Application essays, huh? You've got it rough! All we have to do is fill out some forms, have our schools send in our marks, and presto! Well, not exactly, but the point is, no evil essays, no entrance exams, no SATs… I'd laugh, but I'm too nice for that. ;-)

Okay, time to boldly go where no one has gone before… Onto the new chapter! Huzzah.

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 16 – Trail**

_"No memory is ever alone; it's at the end of a trail of memories, a dozen trails that each have their own associations."  
- Louis L'Amour_

The dim light of the evening allowed Gambit to easily blend in with the shadows bathing the Xavier estate. He moved stealthily and silently through the grounds, almost as if he were a shadow himself. Skilfully avoiding the cameras and motion detectors, the young thief made his way over to the appropriate spot. Her room was right above him…

He was thankful that Magneto had done quality surveillance on the mansion – he wouldn't want to have to check each room to find Rogue's. No, he knew exactly which one was hers, and as luck would have it, it was the one right next to the trellis. Gambling that it would be strong enough to support his weight, Remy climbed up the wall of ivy and landed lightly on his _chère's_ balcony.

He couldn't quite believe the lengths he was going to, sneaking onto the opposing team's base, but he felt the need to impress her. Remy only hoped that she would indeed feel that way. Well, he'd soon find out…

Peeking in through the glass door, he could see Rogue lying on her bed, writing in what looked to be a diary. She looked so calm, so relaxed, unlike their previous meetings. Before, she seemed to be on her guard, so tense and wary. It was like the window he was now peering in was one to _her_, into her character and her personality and her innermost being, rather than just into her bedroom. Remy felt a pang of what could possibly be guilt at that thought… He was intruding. He never liked when people caught him in candid situations, and he knew Rogue wouldn't either.

He decided to do what he had come here for, and since her roommate wasn't in, now was as good a time as any. Knocking, he flashed her as charming a grin as he could manage when she jerked her head up at the noise. A look of surprise crossed her face, and Remy had to keep himself from laughing when her jaw dropped open in shock.

She padded over to the door on bare feet, opened it, and stepped outside. That disappointed him a little – he had hoped that she might invite him in so he could see her personal space, and maybe learn more about her. He knew that would have been about as likely as Pyro deciding to stock up on fire extinguishers, but still, he had hoped. Another time, perhaps.

"What th' hell are yah doin' here, Gambit!" hissed Rogue, staring at him in bewilderment. "Yah really are stalkin' meh, aren't yah?"

"Relax, _chère_," he chuckled, leaning back on the railing. "I jus' came t' give y' somet'in'."

"Ah don't want anythin' from yah!"

"All de _femmes_ wan' somet'in' from de Ragin' Cajun," smirked Remy suggestively.

She shook her head, exasperated, and then looked back at him carefully, studying him. "Yah know, swamp rat, yah're right," she said sweetly, and he folded his arms in satisfaction. "Ah want yah to leave meh alone!" she then declared harshly.

He pouted, knowing women could never resist that. "Aww, Roguey, y' don' mean dat."

His tactic didn't work. Well, that was a definite first… "Ah sure do," she told him, then turned around and headed for the door. "But if yah won't leave, then Ah guess Ah will."

"_Chère_, wait!" Remy called, quickly reaching out to grab her wrist. He knew it had been a mistake when Rogue flinched, and yanked her arm away. "_Desolé, _Rogue, I didn' mean t'…"

"Whatever," she muttered, taking a step back.

He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. This wasn't going as well as he had planned… But then again, he had fantasized an incredibly optimistic scenario, with Rogue gushing all over him, so he supposed some disillusionment was warranted. "Look, I didn' come here t' argue wit' y'."

"Then why _are_ yah here?"

"I wanted t' see y'," he winked cheekily, picking up traces of a blush on her cheeks. "An' I do have somet'in' t' give y'."

Reaching into one of the countless pockets in his trench coat, Remy pulled out a brand new copy of _Queen of the Damned_ and handed it to Rogue. She looked at it in astonishment, but was reluctant to take it from his hands. "Don' worry, _chère_, it won' bite."

Remy could tell that she hadn't been expecting this, but that she was pleasantly surprised – the corners of her lips turned up ever so slightly, which then morphed into a smirk when she noticed the Queen of Hearts card he had stuck in between the pages.

He was relieved that she liked it – he knew she would, but traces of nervousness had inexplicably appeared anyway. This was the first gift he had ever given a woman that actually required personalization – normally he placed his fate in the universal and unoriginal offerings of flowers or chocolates, but already he knew that this _femme_ wasn't like those others.

Looking up at him, Rogue actually granted him a small smile. "Uh… Thank yah," she murmured awkwardly, as if still unsure of the whole situation. "But yah didn't have to do this."

"I know, but I wanted t'," he replied. Even that small hint of a smile lit up her face so beautifully… He wondered how a full-fledged one could out-shine it. He would have to try to make them happen, rather than the scowls and glowers that he seemed to elicit so effortlessly.

Unfortunately, that was exactly what crossed Rogue's face next. "An' why is that? Yah expectin' somethin' in return?" she demanded.

"_Non_!" Remy answered, waving his hands in the air. "Just t'ought I'd get y' de book, since y' didn' have a chance t' get it earlier."

"An' who's fault was that?" she questioned sarcastically, but then seemed to relax and accept his response. "All right, fine. Thank yah, really. It was… nice o' yah," she said slowly, as if she had to force the words out.

"Yo' welcome. Anyt'in' t' see dat _belle_ smile o' yours," he told her, without missing a beat. The compliment didn't make her smile like he had hoped, but he was rewarded with a tiny blush again. Her anger seemingly abated, he picked now as the time to smirk and add on, "But I sure wouldn' mind a t'ird date, _chère_."

"What?" gasped Rogue with a huff. "No way! An' Ah don't even consider th' other two times dates, so forget it!"

"Well, I do consider dem dates, an' I'll get anot'er eventually, Roguey. T'ird times de charm, henh? I'll manage t' win y' over somehow."

"Ugh," she grunted. "Why th' hell are yah so damn persistent?"

He wondered about that too – after all, she was just another girl… He settled for telling her what he knew. "Y' intrigue me, _chère_. I wan' t' know mo' about y', so I'd like anot'er date."

All right, so it wasn't the entire truth – he _needed_ to know more, he craved it. Remy knew his plan to get her out of his head had backfired somehow, because the more he learned, the more he still wanted. He had an unquenchable appetite for her, and he planned to find out why that was – maybe that way he could stop thinking about her.

Rogue didn't accept that. "Ah'm not buyin' it, Cajun. Just get outta here, Ah don't wanna be one o' yer challenges," she spat out.

"Y're not a challenge, Rogue. Y're just _challenging_."

"Ah doubt it," she scoffed.

"Den y'd be wrong."

"No way. Ah know Ah'm right."

"But what if y' aren't?"

"Ah am," Rogue insisted.

"Y're not," corrected Remy.

"Ah am!"

"_Non_, y're not. Y're just scared."

"Scared? O' what?"

"Scared dat somebody might actually want t' get t' know y'," he hypothesized. It made sense, even if she didn't want to admit it. Her powers kept people away from her, and her actions and attitude only encouraged it – this was probably something Rogue never had to deal with before, someone not intimidated by her.

"Ah am not!" she denied adamantly.

"Really?"

"Really!"

Remy looked at her, eyes twinkling and head held high. "Well, den prove me wrong," he dared her, knowing she wasn't one to back down from anything, and praying she would take his bait.

"Fine!" exclaimed Rogue determinedly. "Ah will!"

"_Bon!_ (Good!) A t'ird date it is," he grinned.

"What?" she sputtered, realizing what she had just walked into, and quickly attempted to back out of it. "No! Ah didn't mean it like that!"

"Too late, _chère_," Remy laughed heartily.

She glared, but seeing it have no affect on him, tried for a different approach. "What, is this how yah get yer dates?" came her derisive tone. "By trickin' gals into goin' out with yah?"

"_Non_, y're special."

Rogue groaned in aggravation, looking as if she were about to erupt. "Gawd dammit, if Ah go on a stupid date with yah, will yah leave meh alone!"

Probably not, but she didn't need to know that. "All I wan' is a date, _chère_."

"Only on one condition then," she stipulated. "No gimmicks."

"_Pardon_?" Remy asked, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"No gimmicks, Cajun. Yah can't buy mah affections with books, or sweeten meh up with coffee. If yah're so intent on winnin' meh over, then next time yah have to do it yerself, got it?"

"_Bien sûr_," he agreed readily, willing to consent to practically anything in exchange for another date, another chance with her. Only after he spoke did some doubts surface – if he couldn't shower her with gifts, and he couldn't touch her, what else did he have to offer? This would perhaps be harder than he had thought…

A dulcet drawl disrupted his misgivings. "Okay, swamp rat, yah got yer date, so get outta here."

She was right, he had accomplished what he had come here to do – but Remy heaved an exaggerated sigh anyway, showing her that he was reluctant to leave. Which, oddly enough, he was. "As y' wish, m' southern belle!" he proclaimed, and leapt onto the railing.

Looking down at Rogue, he bowed dramatically, while pulling out a rose from another pocket and presenting it to her with a flourish. He didn't go for the clichéd red colour, symbolizing romance and love. After all, this wasn't love… It was more of a fascination, a desire for something that eluded him. That was why Remy brought her an orange rose, representing exactly those things.

She plucked it from his hand, and brought it closer to her face so she could inhale its sweet scent. Like before, he knew that she enjoyed his gift, and that alone made his excursion this evening a success.

Glancing up at him, he saw a teasing gleam in Rogue's eyes when she scolded, "Ah said no gimmicks, Cajun!"

"It's not de next time yet," he shot back, further exasperating her. All of his judgement advised against it, but he couldn't help himself! There was just something about irking the _fille_ that he enjoyed.

Unluckily for Remy, it seemed as if Rogue had met her annoyance quota for the day – stepping towards him, she extended her arms and shoved him right off the balcony! He hadn't been expecting that… Thankfully, his thieving reflexes worked to his advantage – reacting almost unconsciously, twisting in the air much like a cat, Gambit managed to land nimbly on his feet.

"See y' soon, _chère_!" he called, waving and blowing her a kiss, not at all shaken by his unanticipated trip. He saw her smirking and shaking her head before he ran off across the grounds – he had already stayed too long, and he wasn't about to get caught. Remy may have swallowed some pride in his efforts to woo Rogue, but he wouldn't relinquish any when it came to his skills as a thief!

There was nobody in sight, so he thanked Lady Luck that the Wolverine hadn't picked up his scent. Remy jogged across the yard, intending to leave by the same trail upon which he had entered – he made it halfway to the tree line before noticing the fog blowing in.

'Wonder if dat weather witch knows 'm here,' he mused, but then remembered that this wasn't how it had happened. It had been a clear night…

Spinning around, Remy was about to run back to Rogue, only the Institute couldn't be seen anymore. Not caring, he continued to move in that direction, determined to find her. He knew the mansion was this way, he would have to run into it eventually… He kept going, but he never reached it.

- X -

The bookstore was dark and musty, yet somehow cosy, with seemingly endless rows of books sitting on wooden shelves. It reminded Remy of his father's library back home… He could see why Rogue liked it. He had been walking down the street when he saw her go inside, and he automatically trailed her. He knew that she would probably call it 'stalking', but he preferred to refer to it as 'reconnaissance'.

There was a surprising abundance of inventory for such a small space – the aisles were tiny due to the many bookshelves that were crammed into the room. Some were parallel to each other while others lay perpendicular, making a maze out of the store. Stepping down a row, Remy made his way into the mini-labyrinth.

He moved silently across the creaking hardwood floor, ears alert, trying to pick up signs of his target. He heard something to his right – turning and peering through a space in the shelf, Remy could see Rogue browsing the selection in the next aisle over. He kept quiet, content to simply observe her for the time being.

He watched as she pulled a book out and regarded it with interest. Moving over to a better angle, he caught a glimpse of the cover – it was _Queen of the Damned_, and he grinned to himself. So, she was an Anne Rice fan… Hometown pride surged through him – she had good taste, liking a _femme_ from N'Awlins. Now maybe if she would give a certain _homme_ a chance?

Despite his optimism and self-confidence, he doubted it. Rogue had pushed him away, differently than anybody else – occasionally some girls liked to play hard-to-get, but that wasn't what she was doing. Remy got the impression that she genuinely disliked him, and that wouldn't do, not if he wanted to his objectives met! He ordered himself to be nicer this time, and then made him move.

While Rogue was skimming through the book, he walked around the shelves. When he was beside her, he said, "So, read any good books lately, _chère_?"

Startled, she let out a piercing screech that caused him to wince and made the storeowner glare at them. Turning to face Remy, she fiercely whispered, "Gambit! What, are yah stalkin' meh now?"

"Y' insult me, Rogue!" he mock-gasped, placing a hand to his chest. "'M a t'ief, not a stalker."

"Yah appear to be both," Rogue grumbled.

"Nahh, I just saw y' in here an' t'ought I'd talk t' y'," he told her. He didn't feel the need to mention that he followed her inside, and hoped she would overlook that.

She didn't. "Oh, so yah just _happened_ to be in here?" she grilled him.

"_Oui_, I enjoy a good book now an' den," he shrugged.

"So what were yah here fo'?"

"Uhh…" For the life of him, Remy couldn't think of anything, so he simply grabbed the closest book to him. "Dis."

"_The Vagina Monologues_?" Rogue laughed with a raised brow. "What, yah're gettin' in touch with yer feminine side, swamp rat?"

"_Merde_!" he swore, dropping the book as if it would burn him. Why, out of all the titles on the shelves, did he have to pick that one? "Heh… Would y' believe it's f'r Pyro?"

She just shook her head, smirking at him.

"Okay, so I followed y' in here, but dere's a good reason!" he burst out, not wanting any further humiliation – he was supposed to be charming her, not having her mock him!

"Oh really?"

"O' course," Remy continued suavely, trying to regain the upper hand in the conversation. "Wanted t' know if y'd go on a second date wit' me."

"What!" she yelled in disbelief. "Ah wasn't even aware we had a first!"

"Shhh!" interrupted the manager, giving them another dirty look. He was no doubt cursing the younger generation, saying that kids in his day didn't behave like they were.

They both ignored him. Remy's attention was all on Rogue – he felt compelled to have her agree. She made him so very curious…

'Dis is only t' get her out o' y'r head,' he reminded himself firmly. Yes, that was it. She was ruining his flirtations with other women – every time he tried to pick a girl up, he caught a glimpse of fathomless green eyes, or a flash of white-streaked hair… He couldn't go on like that!

But then, why was he so extremely anxious she would turn him down? Remy pushed away those feelings, instead focusing on how he could convince her to at least talk with him. "Look, Rogue, date o' not-"

"Not," she stated firmly.

"Date o' not," he continued. "Did y' have a good time? An' tell de truth."

"No."

"No t' what? No, y' didn' have a good time, o' no, y' won' tell de truth?"

"No to everythin' yah'll ever ask meh!"

"Well den, I guess dat means no, y' didn' tell de truth, so y' had a good time!" Amazing… He was roping a girl into a date using logic instead of flirtations – what was wrong with him?

Rogue crossed her arms and grunted in aggravation. "Ah had a miserable time!" she cried out. "Yah must really have some skewed definition o' th' word 'good'!"

It wasn't the answer he was looking for, but he could work with that, Remy thought with a smile. "Well den, why don' we try it again? It can only get better, right?" When he saw her eyes narrow, knowing she was about to reject him, Remy quickly added, "How 'bout a coffee? My treat."

"What, yah think yah'll get me swoonin' over yah with an offer o' coffee?" she squawked indignantly.

"Hush!" crossly demanded the manager once more. "Be quiet, please, this _is_ a bookstore!"

Throwing her hands up in irritation, Rogue declared, "Ah have no intentions of continuin' this, Gambit. Ah don't like to be played!"

"'M not playin' y', Rogue," Remy assured her. "I just wan' t' spend some time wit' y'!"

"Ah don't care! Ah've got better things to do than spend time with one o' Bucket-Head's lackeys!"

"Like what?"

"Oh, standin', breathin', blinkin', _anythin'_!" she listed off.

"But none o' dat seems very fun," he observed, remaining composed – he was determined for this argument to end in his favour, and he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing him flustered! "Lemme buy y' a coffee, we can chat again, y'll have a good time, I promise."

"NO!" came her scream, followed by the bellow of the shopkeeper.

"That's enough! Both of you leave, now!" he ordered, pointing out the door. "Take your lover's quarrel somewhere else!"

"This ain't a lover's quarrel!" Rogue shouted back, out-glaring him with ease.

While the girl squabbled with the elderly man, Remy simply smirked at them, until he noticed something odd – he could no longer read any of the titles on the books. They were becoming blurry…

Quickly moving forward, he grabbed Rogue by the arm and ushered her outside. "We're sorry, _m'sieu_, we'll leave now!" he called back to the owner, stepping out of the store, where Rogue wrenched her arm free of him.

"Great, now Ah couldn't buy mah book!" she complained.

"_Desolé, chère_. How 'bout I buy y' a coffee t' make up f'r it?" he wheedled, starting to walk across the street to where _Le Caf_é Café stood.

"Yah just won't let this go, will yah?"

"Nope."

"Fine," breathed out an exasperated Rogue. "But only cause yah owe meh! An' since Ah was gonna go there anyways."

"Sure y' were," Remy scoffed, not believing her, but unwilling to push it further – after all, he had gotten what he wanted. "So, y' ready f'r our second date den?"

"It's. Not. A date!" she hollered as they crossed the road, making Remy wish he had chosen a time to say that when there was less traffic available for him to be pushed into.

"Whatever y' say," he humoured her, craning his head to the left to check for oncoming cars – rather than finding oncoming vehicles, there was only fog.

Panicking, Remy seized Rogue's arm once more, and started running towards the café – they made it the rest of the way across the street, but were too slow. Before they could reach it, the fog rolled in front of them, cutting off the entrance to their safe haven.

Turning around, he was about to run the other way before realizing that the street and all the buildings on it had disappeared from view. Turning to his right, Remy saw that Rogue had vanished as well.

* * *

Oh, they're ever so amusing when they're at each other's throats…

Next chapter – Rogue and Remy's first "date"! And I use the term loosely.

So remember what I said earlier – it might be a tad longer between updates because of school. But hmm, maybe a lot of reviews will motivate me to churn out one more chapter before I go back… If you love me, you'll review! ;-)

Toodles,

- ish -


	17. Beginning

**Disclaimer:** I'm sure you all know this by now.

**A/N:** Never fear, ishandahalf is here! Huzzah, I managed one last post before university starts, so enjoy!

Aro, Star-of-Chaos, PomegranateQueen, Raven2687,mollymo, AnalisDestiny, Adri, EE's Skysong, Ms. Rogue LeBeau, Anamaniax, enchantedlight, flowerperson,Rogue14, perturbedpercy, TheRealMai, Rogue Almighty,darkstorm5000, Dreamcatcher89, ChibiKaril, and heartsyhawk - Aww, I feel the love. I heart you all!

demiducky25 – I wrote it in the order it's posted. It was quite difficult to go backwards sometimes… But only at the start and at the end. The middle was just fluff filled, and not a lot of order or progression was needed. Plus, fluff is always fun.

TheDreamerLady – Technically I suppose he could, but then they'd be memories only seen through his eyes, with his feelings and best possible recollections replaced in Remy's mind, so it'd be kinda weird. For the sake of my plot, I guess that's a no! ;-)

SweetRevenge151 – School too, eh? Shall we make a "ignore learning and concentrate on fics" pact this time?

Calliann – No floatation device? I'd suggest you install soon, you might need it for the next chapter – I got all choked up writing it, it's pretty sad. I'm only looking out for your safety! ;-)

Goddess Evie – Hey, I didn't agree to speedos! Can I back out, or do you already have the corn prepped? Actually, now that I think about it, I really do have a craving for some… Creamed corn, that is, not speedos. Heh.

Sophie – Well crikey, why do _you_ get the hottie diver? Hah, what if I get to him first, eh? I think I'll be able to handle you not speaking to me, cuz I'll have him for company… Yummers. But don't you worry, I'll send you pictures of his buff, sexy body to taunt you! ;-)

Eileen Blazer – I'm a wee bit worried about you – Remy looks especially good _every _day! As for the bookstore man, maybe he's a romantic at heart, so he'll get some joy from kicking them out of the store and pushing them together instead of selling a book… Sure.

Sweety8587 – Umm, the sun _does_ come up from the East… ;-)

angyxoxo – Yup, don't fret, we're almost done with the memories, then real life fun and confusion shall commence! But wait, what's that, " Poor Pietro"? Feeling bad for him cuz Remy will swoop back in and steal Rogue away from him, are you?_Perhaps_… And perhaps not. Shmeh, I doubt anybody will be feeling sorry for him later, bwa ha ha!

Ooh, is everybody ready for their first "date"? I'm sure it'll just go _swimmingly_…

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 17 – Beginning**

_"Remember tonight… for it is the beginning of always." – Dante Alighieri_

Moments ago it had been a nice day – a bit humid, but pleasant nonetheless. Then within seconds, sheets of rain began pouring down relentlessly, drenching the poor Cajun who had simply been out for a stroll around town. Remy despised wearing soaking wet clothes – it wasn't the end of the world, the water would dry after all, but it was a pet peeve of his.

He scanned the area, seeking a place where he could take temporary shelter. The bank and the jewellery store were out of the question – he wouldn't mind entering and staking them out, but somehow the thief doubted that the managers would allow a suspicious man in sunglasses and a trench coat to loiter. There was a flower shop – no. A toy store? No, definitely not. The bookstore? Maybe… But then his eyes fell on the café across the street. _Le Café_ Café – he smirked at the name, but thought it looked rather inviting. Yes, it would do nicely.

Scampering across the street, nimbly avoiding large puddles, Remy paused under the awning hanging above the door. Taking off his sunglasses, he managed to wipe the raindrops away with a small part of his shirt that was miraculously still dry. Then he put them back on – he wouldn't want to scare the employees and have them kick him back out into the downpour.

Pushing open the door, the Cajun strode inside, and was warmed up instantly. As always, he carefully scrutinized the establishment – he liked it almost immediately. There was a comfortable feeling to it, almost as if he had entered a library or a den.

He took in the customers sitting at the tables, and then automatically searched for any and all exits – his training was so deeply lodged into him that he couldn't even get a cup of coffee without a twinge of paranoia, he thought. However, that cynical contemplation quickly left his mind when a more important thing was brought to his attention.

While Remy's eyes had been picking out an exit sign towards the back of the café, he couldn't help but notice something else – or rather, some_one_ else. It was whom he saw under the sign that he found much more interesting than potential getaway routes.

Sitting alone, at the very back table that was almost obscured from view, was the same girl that had been swirling around his thoughts recently. Rogue. She was curled up in the corner, intently reading a book. A gloved hand reached out and brought a steaming coffee mug to her lips, but then quickly jerked the scalding liquid away. All the while, her eyes never left the pages.

Shaking himself out of his trance, Remy finally jolted back to reality. How long had he stood there watching her? He must have looked so silly, standing alone at the entrance like that… But he didn't care. All he felt was a strange excitement – this was perfect! He could finally have a chance to talk to her, she who seemed to be haunting him.

Willing his feet to move, he began to march towards the rear. He wasn't completely sure as to what his plan would be – perhaps charm her like all the rest, and get her out of his system? Yes, that would surely do it. Once he found out more about her, his mind would realize that she was really nothing special.

Remy finally reached her table – it had seemed like a longer distance than it really was, like the path to her stretched on forever, like he would always be walking it. Shrugging off that crazy notion, he plastered on the most charismatic smile he could and began, "_Excusez-moi, chère_, mind if I sit down?"

At the sound of his voice, her head snapped up. When she saw who happened to be standing in front of her, Rogue's jaw dropped open in shock. Composing herself quickly, she then glared at him and replied coldly, "Actually, Ah do mind."

His ears perked up at her response, soothed by the Southern twang, despite its harsh tone. Acting as if he didn't hear her, however, Remy pulled out a chair and sat down across from her anyway.

She narrowed her captivating eyes, which he was too busy admiring to notice her annoyance. "Are yah deaf? Ah didn't say yah could sit down!"

"'M not deaf, I just chose not t' listen," he smoothly answered. "I wan' t' talk t' y'."

"Believe meh, Ah'm not interested," she stated, attempting to get back to her book.

"Oh, I t'ink y' are," Remy smirked. After all, how could she not be? He had yet to meet a woman impervious to his charms.

"An' why would yah think that?" she scowled, shutting her novel and looking up at him. "Yah don't know meh."

"_Non_, but I'd like t'."

This time Rogue was the one to smirk. "An' how do yah know _that_? Again, yah don't know meh," she repeated, believing she had gotten the best of him.

Clearly, she didn't know him either, if she thought those words would make him leave! If anything, they only served to intrigue him – a girl was actually pushing him away, this was a first… "Dat's true. I might not know y' now, but I'd like t'."

"Why?" she asked suspiciously.

He mentally kicked himself, realizing that she probably thought he was here enacting one of Magneto's evil plots – that couldn't have been further from the truth. He was here solely for his own purposes. Trying to reassure her, Remy said, "Cause I t'ink y're interestin', an' dat y're someone worth knowin'. Dere's no evil purpose b'hind dis."

"Riiight," she drawled disbelievingly.

"'M serious!" he attempted to convince her. "Can't _un homme_ sit down wit' a _belle__fille_ he's interested in an' talk t' her?"

"No!" she shouted, and then appeared embarrassed when a few of the other patrons looked her way. Quieting her voice, her words were still as sharp as ever. "No, no, yah can't, not when that girl is meh, yah got it, Gambit?" she spat out in a vicious whisper.

"Why not?" he queried softly. She had a tortured look in her eyes, and for a second he hated himself for bringing that out in her.

"Yah know about mah powers?" Rogue hissed, more of a statement than a question.

"A bit," Remy admitted. "Can y' tell m' more?"

"Yah really don't wanna know," she mumbled, crossing her arms and slouching in her seat.

"I asked, didn' I?"

She glanced back up at him, and then huffed in contempt. "Fine, yah wanna know? Ah absorb th' memories an' life force o' whoever Ah touch skin to skin, an' if they're a mutant, Ah get their powers," explained Rogue bitterly, and then continued in a sarcastic tone. "An' th' _best_ part is that Ah can't control it!"

Remy felt his heart go out to her. He considered it rather strange – he would have thought his initial reaction would be fear, knowing the danger she possessed in a single touch, but instead, he felt sympathy. Living without skin-on-skin contact? It must be so hard… His estimation of her increased tenfold.

"So," the girl continued cynically. "Yah still wanna talk to meh? Or are yah gonna go an' keep yer distance like everyone else?"

"Mebbe dey all keep a distance cause y' make dem," he observed sagely.

He saw her feelings of self-loathing disappear, to be replaced with solely loathing, all directed at him. "Excuse meh?" Rogue whispered, slowly and vehemently, as if daring him to explain.

Remy knew he would probably only incite her anger further, but still felt the need to continue. "Y' seem t' push people away. I just wanted t' talk t' y', dere's nothin' wrong wit' dat, but instead, y' act all hostile!"

"Hostile? Yah're damn right Ah'm hostile!" she exclaimed, almost hysterically, yet somehow managing to keep her voice down. "Ah hurt people with a touch! Yah can't possibly know what that feels like! Yah can't possibly know what it's like to have people afraid o' yah, an' have 'em flinch when yah come near!"

He frowned. "I know more den y' t'ink," he told her. "I blow t'ings up wit' a touch – when I first got m' powers, I blew up everyt'in', so I know 'bout hurtin' people, an' not touchin' anyt'in'. An' believe me, I know 'bout people bein' afraid o' y', an' flinchin' around y'," Remy divulged as he took off his sunglasses and looked straight at Rogue. "At least dey don't call y' _Le Diable_ (the Devil)."

Her eyes widened, but he didn't see fear in them like he had expected. She didn't flinch or wince or scream, like so many people had in the past. She simply sat there staring at him, with something akin to awe on her face.

"They're not devil eyes," Rogue finally spoke, voice hushed, with a strange hitch to it. "They're beautiful."

"So are yours, _chère_… Wait, what? Y' mean dat?" he flirted automatically, before enquiring about her words that sunk in so slowly. It must have been a fluke, a slip of the tongue…

Remy blinked at the compliment, wondering if he was hearing things. Surely, she didn't just say what he thought she had said… He doubted it – firstly because they were just fighting seconds ago, and secondly, because the nicest things anybody had said about his eyes up until now were that they were 'special'. He knew that was just another synonym for strange, frightening, demonic…

"Course Ah do," Rogue said in an almost insulted manner, as if he thought she was lying. "What, yah don't believe meh?"

"Well, y' didn' believe me 'bout wantin' t' talk to y'…"

She scowled. "Back to that again?"

"_Oui_."

"Argh!" she burst out, throwing her hands in the air, and then leaned across the small table to poke him in the chest. "Get this through yer thick skull, Cajun – Ah'm not a concept, Ah'm not just th' untouchable gal yah can win over as a challenge!" Rogue informed him fiercely, stabbing him with her finger to accentuate her words. "Ah'm fucked up enough as it is without some… Some _swamp rat_ playin' meh!"

"Good, cause 'm not playin'," Remy told her coolly, as if her outburst had never happened.

"Holy shit, what th' hell will it take to get rid o' yah?" she cried.

"Like I said befo', I want t' sit an' talk wit' y'. 'S not dat much t' ask."

"Yah can't be serious. After all that?" she marvelled.

"'M very serious," he persisted, but deep down, he was as amazed as she was. He couldn't believe he was still sitting here! "If y'd stop wit' all dat self-pity, mebbe y' could see dat. Can' we please just sit an' chat?"

"Oh yeah, cause yah're _really_ winnin' meh over by talkin' to meh that way," Rogue shot back sarcastically.

He heaved a huge sigh. "_Desolé_," he muttered, running a hand through his damp hair. "Look, dere's no harm in talkin', henh? Gimme a few minutes, it won' kill y'."

Rogue gave him a frosty look, and gestured towards her coffee. "Yah've got until Ah finish this cup, an' then Ah'm outta here," she ruled, leaving no room for negotiations. He felt a swell of satisfaction, but it was short-lived. The _fille _was so stubborn, it was exasperating!

"Ahh, _merci, chère_," Remy smiled at her, trying to revert into his charming, cool and collected persona. It was harder than he thought, she had his blood boiling like never before.

"Ah'm not yer _chère_, swamp rat," she snorted, and tentatively sipped her coffee. It had probably cooled down enough to drink, Remy deduced, and that meant she would soon leave! No, he couldn't have that – after all the trouble he had just gone through, he wasn't about to let her go so easily!

"Well, y' have a pet name f'r me already, 'm only returnin' de favour," he retorted with a grin, hoping their banter would keep her occupied. Covertly, he began to inch his hand, already resting on the table, towards her mug. Touching it with his pinky finger, Remy lightly charged it up, heating it back to an inconsumable temperature.

"Aww, how _considerate_," Rogue said in a saccharine sweet tone that dripped with insincerity. "As kind as that is, Ah'll have to decline th' favour."

"Well den, how 'bout y' just call me Remy."

"That's yer name?" she inquired while once again tasting her drink. This time, she found it too hot, and put it down. Unfortunately, she kept it close to her, with her hands wrapped around it. There was no chance to charge it up once again – he had only bought himself a few minutes.

"_Oui_, Remy LeBeau, at yo' service, _chère_," he introduced himself, even bowing a little. He would have to make due with the time he had left. "An' y' are?"

"Rogue," she stated. "An' Ah'm not yer _chère_!"

"I already know dat name. What's yo' real one?" Remy asked.

She grimaced. "It's just Rogue, swamp rat," she enlightened him sternly.

"How mysterious," he grinned. He always enjoyed a good mystery, and this one would be particularly satisfying to solve.

"Ah try," was the brusque response.

"So…" he then trailed off, unsure of what to say next. This had never happened before – Emil was the one who got tongue-tied talking to women, not Remy!

Much to his chagrin, Rogue picked up on it. "Hmm, yah run outta charm already, bayou boy?" she taunted him.

"'M never out o' charm," Remy retorted. "Y' just interrupted me befo' I could keep talkin'," he lied, hoping she would buy it.

"Suuure," she teased him. "Then by all means, continue. What were yah gonna say?"

"Well… Tell m' about yo'self," he requested. He wanted to know more about her, after all, and this was the perfect way. If she was like any of the countless other girls he pursued (although he was starting to doubt that very much), then she would run with the subject and talk for hours.

Once again, she surprised him. "Yah ain't gettin' anythin' outta meh," she said guardedly. "Yah even knowin' mah name is too much information."

"Hey, no need t' get defensive!" he yelped, throwing his hands up in the air in surrender. "'S just a simple question, y' don' have t' answer it."

"Good, cause Ah wasn't gonna," Rogue let him know.

"Well, how are we goin' t' get t' know each ot'er if y' won' speak?" Remy beseeched her. He enjoyed riling her up like this – the blaze of fury in those green eyes of hers screamed murder, but they were so very stunning!

"Ah don't wanna know yah!" she corrected him, abruptly standing up from her chair. "An' yah've learned all yah will about meh!"

"_Oui_, I learned dat y've got one hell o' a temper…"

"An' hopefully yah've grasped th' fact that Ah'm not gonna just sit here an' let yah play yer damn game!" she seethed, grabbing her novel and moving to leave.

Before she could get any further, Remy shot his leg out, blocking her between it and the wall beside them. "Hey, not so fast, _chère_," he wagged his finger at her. "Y' said I had until y' finished de drink."

Shooting him a glare that put all her previous ones to shame, Rogue managed to force out, "Fine."

Thinking she was keeping to their earlier agreement and would sit back down, Remy felt rather smug. That evaporated when instead, he watched her grab the mug and finish the rest of her hot coffee in one go.

"There, done," she panted, pushed his leg out of the way, and stalked out of the café without another word.

Whistling impressively to himself, Remy leaned back in his seat with a satisfied grin on his face. That went rather well… Not exactly as smoothly as he would have liked it, but it would do. He had gotten a taste of what she was like, that should do to push her out of his head.

But wait… That's not what he wanted – he couldn't let her go! He jumped to his feet in an instant before realizing that she had already left. She was gone…

"_Merde!"_ he thundered, grabbing the empty mug on the table and throwing it against the wall in rage. He watched as it shattered into pieces that then fell tinkling to the ground, but it didn't make him feel any better. Time was rapidly running out, they were nearing the beginning, and he had just let her go like that… He was furious with himself.

Taking a deep breath to try and steady himself, Remy leaned against the table, his head hanging low. He could see the fog drifting around his feet, and he knew it was only a matter of moments until the café would disappear. That was fine, there was nothing left for him here…

Waiting for it to happen, he instead tried to channel his anger into determination. He couldn't, and wouldn't, let this happen again!

- X -

It was the witching hour, and the Acolyte base was dark and silent. The boys were all slumbering, except for a certain thief sneaking down the hallway. Remy couldn't sleep – a stripey-haired, green-eyed beauty had managed to permeate his dreams. As if it wasn't enough to have her overrun his thoughts all day long…

He decided to do something about it. With Magneto away, he could easily sneak a peek at the Master of Magnetism's files. Maybe learning some information about the girl would settle his mind. It was only curiosity that made him think of her so often, he was sure… And so the Cajun found himself sliding open a file cabinet and searching for the one marked 'Rogue'.

He quickly began cursing his boss' organizational methods. There were dozens of folders, in no apparent order, none of them labelled. He should hire a secretary… But then again, what would the want ad say, wondered Remy with a quiet chuckle. _"Looking to hire one secretary; must have a metal fetish and not mind plans for mutant supremacy"_?

Skimming through a few sleeves, he came to the conclusion that it wouldn't be such a bad idea – it would take him hours to go through every single mutant Magneto had a dossier on! Most of them were people had had never heard of… But then he found one on Avalanche. After that came a few more Brotherhood members – they looked to be grouped together by their team affiliation, Gambit noted. Good, that might help.

Flipping through some more, he finally came to the profile on Cyclops. He scoffed at the boy's picture – _Dieu_, if he looked uptight there, it must be much worse in reality. Becoming increasingly impatient, Remy simply grabbed a whole stack of the X-Men's files and dropped them on the table behind him. Pulling out a chair, he leaned back, propped his legs up, and continued his investigation.

The top one on the pile belonged to Nightcrawler. He dropped it onto his lap, and moved on to the next one. Cannonball? Nope. Magma? No. Jean Grey? Definitely not… The discard pile on his knees grew larger until finally, he found it. Rogue. It was the last one in the stack – figures.

Remy shifted in his seat, and opened it eagerly. Her record was small, with a single sheet of paper inside – there was little there, but he read what he could voraciously.

Her real name was unknown. That was slightly disappointing – he would have liked to know… Although he had to admit, from what little he'd seen of her, Rogue seemed to suit her. She was only two years younger than he was, and she hailed from Mississippi – but he knew that already by her accent.

She was an orphan, just like him… She was adopted by Mystique? That must have been an interesting household growing up, to say the least. A member of the Brotherhood before joining the X-Men – 'Bit o' a naughty _fille_ den, henh?' he grinned to himself.

Ah, but then there was what he was really interested in – her powers. He read on keenly:

_Possesses the ability to knock her victim out with a touch, while gaining their memories and any mutant powers._

Well, that didn't tell him much. Rogue was a thief then, just like he was… Taking powers, memories, and consciousness through touch? She had access to things he could never steal. That would explain why she had her glove off when he saw her. But why wear gloves in the first place? Wouldn't it be easier to have her hands exposed? Unless…

Remy picked up the attached picture of her and frowned. She was entirely covered – not that it hampered her beauty in any way. Maybe she didn't have control of her powers? For some reason that didn't repel him from thoughts of her like he expected. She wouldn't be able to do what he had dreamt about earlier, but there could be ways around that… Wait, what was he thinking? He wanted her out of his head! Yet know he wanted to know more… Why?

He tried to find an acceptable answer to that, staring at her picture in contemplation. He found himself gazing at those entrancing eyes of hers – they paled in comparison to their real counterparts, but they were still enchanting. Suddenly, Remy was startled when he thought he saw her picture move. No, wait… It wasn't moving, it was fading! He stood up in shock and dropped the image onto the floor, where the rest of the folders fell too, slipping off his lap.

Cursing, he dropped to his knees and hurriedly sifted through the mess, trying to find her photograph again. "Come on, come on!" he muttered to himself, knowing there was little time left. There was Magma's photo again, there was Storm's… He tossed them over his shoulder, throwing them out of the way. The pictures he kept finding weren't the ones he was looking for! He had to hurry, it was getting darker, the room was dieing away…

There, there was only one picture left! It had to be hers… Picking it up, Remy flipped it over, only to find nothing on it. In dread and confusion, he turned it over once more – it was blank. No, no, she was gone!

Crumpling up the photograph in his fist, he charged it up and let it fly from his hand. It fell through the mist that had appeared, now drifting closer. Remy didn't see or hear the explosion as fog smothered him.

* * *

Oh yeah, what great first impressions, eh? ;-)

Next chapter – Remy's **last** memory, his first meeting with Rogue! Dun dun duhhh…

I think I've sunk to a new low – not only am I begging for reviews to this fic, but I am for another as well! Remember way back in Chapter 1, when I mentioned the collaboration I'm doing with melancholic? Well, it's finally up! It's good, I swear, we'd appreciate it if you checked it out: that's **Chase**, by **ishaholic**. Thankies!

Toodles,

- ish -


	18. Darkness

**Disclaimer:** Everybody repeat after me: I do not own the X-Men!

**A/N:** Well, I've been quite motivated lately, wanting to churn out the chapters before my workload really starts to pile up. So here we go, a new update, and hopefully another will be up by the end of the week! Of course, now that I said that, I've probably jinxed myself…

Star-of-Chaos, demiducky25, Orage, xpoisonedxangelx, TheDreamerLady, perturbedpercy, mad-eye, Ms. Rogue LeBeau, Silver Ink, enchantedlight, heartsyhawk, Gothic-Rogue Lebeau, EviltwinAlix, Rogue4787, untouchablegoth, Sweety8587, Boots, flowerperson, Rogue14, darkstorm5000, Blackroguefillie, and Dreamcatcher89 – Oh, my lovely reviewers, where would I be without you? Well, probably sitting in front of my computer wondering where all my reviewers had gone… So thanks, all! You always make my day.

giggleboxsam – Gosh, I'm flattered! But hah, if I'm not busy, oh, that's rich… I wish there were 50 hours in a day, I really do. If you're thinking of a full-fledged collaboration then there's probably no way I'd have time, but if you want a sounding board for ideas, or a beta, I might be able to swing that. ;-)

angyxoxo – You're so very angry at my characters, they're frightened! Hmm, you love Pietro, eh? Well, we'll just have to see how you feel about him after what I'm gonna have him do… (_ish laughs maniacally_)

Eileen Blazer – When you mentioned that they were getting to know each other, I actually burst out into song before you wrote that you did – wow, we're on the same train! And when you're looking for stuff, it's always in the last place you look because after that, you stop looking. ;-)

Adri – Hah, you can't stop being my best friend, cuz I'll stop being your's first! Nya nya…

Raven2687 – I hate typing with wet nails! It always ends in tears.

Lightspeed Suzuka – Haven't read it, but it sure gives me hope that their relationship finally works out, eh? Huzzah!

SweetRevenge151 – Okay, looks like you kept to the pact since you've already posted the epilogue, but don't think that gets you out of our agreement! I'll be expecting more stuff from you, missy. ;-) And yes, with a loved-up Remy – sleaziness isn't as fun, it's not as conducive to squealing and awwing and other fun stuff like that.

Goddess Evie – I just couldn't resist a dig at Jean, I had to do it! And alternating sounds good – we'll just make sure we'll have to have lots of naked Remy opportunities, okay? That way we _both_ win. (_grin_!)

ASGT and Kat Maximoff – Banned?! You're so right, I won't surive! Damn, what will I do now? But you know, that little teaser you sent only makes it worse, cuz now I'm _so_ intensely twitchy, wanting to know what happens… Curses! And hey… 'special' – just _how_ do you mean that?

Calliann – Just a suggestion, but you may want swimming lessons before reading this chapter…

EE's Skysong – I didn't answer cuz it's _so_ much more fun to leave you all in suspense! Bwa ha ha.

Okay, here it is, what most of you have been dreading, what others have been waiting for, and who knows, maybe some of you fit into both categories! The point is, it's finally here, Remy's last memory of Rogue. _Dun dun duhh!_ Cue the dramatic music!

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 18 – Darkness**

_"Love and memory last and will so endure 'till the game is called because of darkness." – Gene Fowler_

As soon as Gambit glanced around and found himself in the warehouse again, he somehow knew. He just knew that this was it, this was the beginning… Only a short time ago he had looked upon this with such fond recollection – it had been their first meeting, the start of something wonderful. Sparks had flown between them, chemistry had bubbled, attraction had brewed, even though it had taken Remy so long to fully realize the extent of it. Now he couldn't let it go, not when it had grown into something so perfect, so amazing!

He panicked. '_Non_, dis can't just be de end!' he thought desperately. He didn't know what else to do – whatever he had tried had been in vain. Things were bleak, but that wouldn't prevent him from trying one last time.

He took off running through the high piles of boxes, for once not making an effort to stay silent – he didn't need stealth, he needed speed. Left. Right. Straight. Left. Remy wove his way through the maze, with only one thing, one objective, one person in mind – Rogue.

He saw her shadow fall on the ground ahead of him, revealing her position on the other side of the crate as she attempted to sneak up on whom she had once considered her enemy. Relief coursed through him – she was still here, she wasn't gone yet! There was still an opportunity to save this, and if that was impossible… Then there would be time left to say goodbye.

As he moved towards her, Remy couldn't help but think back to how this had really happened. He could barely believe that such a meeting, its purpose being hostility and aggression, would lead to love – it was the very last thing the thief had been expecting when he took the contract with Magneto, and it had blindsided him. Literally.

That day, when he looked Rogue in the face, when he got lost in her eyes… It came out of nowhere. He didn't see it coming. But, Remy supposed, that was the nature of love. It was bitterly ironic then, that he could see that very love slipping away right in front of him.

Fighting back the instinctive urge to replay the memory as it had originally occurred, Remy sped around the corner and swooped Rogue up into a tight embrace. He wouldn't let this play out like the first time – if this was it, he was going to do it _his_ way, the way that he knew he _should_ have done it. Now he had the chance – he wasn't going to let himself follow along and relive that situation, no, not this time.

He just had to hold her, because if this was it (and he prayed it wasn't), then he couldn't have it end without feeling her in his arms once more. It didn't matter if it was real or not – Remy could feel her warmth against him, her heart beating against his, and it was his own reality, one better than facing the actual one outside of his mind where Rogue no longer knew who he was.

Bending his head, Remy caught Rogue's lips with his. Her kisses always managed to make him forget his problems, they always managed to wipe away pain and hurt – but this time, even her soft caresses couldn't push away the guilt, the regret, and the dread that consumed him. But oh, how he wished that were possible…

He kissed her passionately, pulling her close, forcing himself to focus wholly on her scent, her texture, her taste, because deep down, a part of him knew it would soon be lost to him forever.

Silent tears streamed down Remy's face as their mouths broke apart, and he leaned his forehead against Rogue's. "I can't let y' go… I won't let y' go, _chère_," he wept. "Dis was a mistake, _Dieu_, dis was such a horrible mistake…"

That was an understatement, and he knew it. He was so foolish, so stupid, for doing this, he knew that now! He had wanted the easy way out, he had wanted to spite Rogue and not have to deal with the pain of living every day knowing that she had erased him, that he meant so little to her…

But this wasn't the answer. The hurt of knowing she had purposely forgotten him seemed insignificant compared to the excruciating agony of having her ripped from him like this – now he was truly losing her, losing his love, and all the memories they had built together. There would be no falling back on happy times in moments of sadness… There would just be nothing. A void.

Emptiness.

Dammit, why couldn't he have understood all this before? It would have been agonizing to see Rogue with Pietro, to see that unfamiliarity in her eyes when she looked at him, but at least he would have had their memories! It had seemed difficult then, knowing he would have to remember her and be reminded of her hurtful actions, but when he compared it to this – this impossible, incomprehensible pain – it would have been effortless, it would have even been welcome!

"Looks like we've both made mistakes, Rem," Rogue mumbled from his grasp, in a weak attempt to comfort him. "Ah know it sounds lame, but th' only thing we can do is learn from 'em."

"Oh, believe me, _chère_, I've learned," he scoffed dolefully. "I've learned what an idiot I was, I've learned how much y' really mean t' me… I've learned dat what y' did shouldn' have mattered! I shouldn' have done dis t' get back at y' - _merde_, I was jus' so angry, so hurt… I was too upset t' t'ink it t'rough, I jus' blamed y', I didn' want t' have dose t'oughts o' y' just wipin' me away like I was not'in'… I didn' t'ink how y' must've felt, or what dis would be like. I know now, an' I wish I could go back an' change it, I'd do it all differently!"

In retrospect, there were countless things Remy would alter – he should have been more stubborn, he should have tried to win Rogue back! Surely if it was manageable once, it was possible again… He shouldn't have been so infuriated with her, he knew now that it was his fault. He should have told her about Belladonna from the start. He should have been nicer to her from the start! They could have had more time together, who knows how things would have worked out then? Certainly not like this… He should have kissed her the first second he ever saw her, like he just had now, instead of stupidly handing her a charged card! To hell with whatever consequences it would have entailed, a coma would have been well worth it – _anything_ would have been worth changing this ending… But nothing could be done about it now.

"Maybe yah can do it differently," Rogue whispered with a mysterious smile, contradicting his deduction, as she cupped the side of his face with a small hand.

Before he could ask her what she meant, before he could procure any hope from her words, Remy noticed the warehouse darkening. There was no fog this time, only pitch-black shadows slowly creeping towards them, and he knew what was coming. A frantic fear seized him like never before, and he pulled Rogue even closer to him.

There was nowhere to run to now, the building and the scenery around them had begun to fade away while the blackness surrounded them, coming ever closer. In one last desperate attempt, Remy focused on another memory, but nothing happened – they couldn't leave, they couldn't get away!

It was too late.

"'M so sorry, Rogue," he told her, looking directly into those emerald eyes, the very same that had captivated him from the start. He tried not to let his voice crack, but failed – just like he had failed to keep her. "I told y' dat I'd love y' forever, but looks like I lied…"

She gave him a sad smile. "That's okay, sugah. Ah forgive yah."

Remy gave a wry smirk, which then quickly faded into a frown. He had heard that smiling took less exertion than frowning, but it didn't seem that way now – for him it would have taken a monumental effort. Besides, this was no smiling matter. "I fo'give y' too, _chère_. I know now dat it was hard f'r y', an' I know dat y' must've gone t'rough dis same hell too…"

Rogue laughed cheerlessly, while beginning to cry silently. "Quite th' pair, ain't we?" she murmured, as the dark moved closer.

"_Oui_, we were," Remy agreed with a sigh. "It just… Just seemed so right, henh? We fit. Like we were made f'r each ot'er… I t'ought it was perfect, but dat sure was wrong."

"No, yah're wrong _now_, Rem," she told him bravely, valiantly trying to stay strong for him. "It was perfect, it was right. We _were_ made fo' each other, an' if that's true, then maybe we can have it again."

"I never knew y' t' be dis optimistic, _chère_." He wanted to believe her so badly…

"Ah'm just tellin' yah what yah need to hear," she replied with a sniffle. "But who knows? Just try an' remember, 'kay? That's all yah can do now, just try yer best."

He saw the look in her eyes, on he had seen so often – it was all the faith she had in him, and it shone so brightly. It motivated him, it made him strive to be better, to succeed at whatever it was that she believed he could do – but now it just made his heart break even more, because he knew he wouldn't be able to. He would be letting her, and himself, down.

He didn't tell her that he wouldn't be able to. He wouldn't have his last seconds with her be wrought with disappointment. Instead, Remy kissed her one final time, trying to let all the love that he felt for her shine through. Their lips stroked each other's, their breath and tears intermingled. They didn't break contact, remaining steadfast in their embrace – he refused to move away from her at all, not even a fraction of an inch, not even to say goodbye. He wouldn't say it… He couldn't. That would be making it real, making it final.

The blackness enclosed them, swallowing the warehouse around them. This was it.

They stayed together, they continued touching until the end, when finally Remy could no longer feel any kisses. His support gone, he fell to his knees – he beat the cement floor with his fists, not registering that pain, while he screamed and shouted and cursed in anguish.

He cried, cried like he never had before, the tears drenching his face, the gasps making it hard to breathe. He cried, not caring about his pride or his ego or his image, only for everything he had lost – his love, his happiness, his soul mate…

His weeps and wails reverberated eerily around him, and then he heard her. She sounded so far away, like an echo about to die out.

_"Hmm, maybe Ah shouldn't ever leave yah alone then, if yah keep attractin' annoyin' girls…"_

_"Ah just found out that mah boyfriend is engaged to another woman! People don't exactly take that kind of news well!"_

_"Yah're blockin' th' view, swamp rat!"_

_"Ah don't know why Ah put up with yah!" _

_"Aww, don't worry sugah, Ah'll kiss 'em better later."_

_"Ah write about everythin', so don't feel too special."_

_"Yah know, yah ain't that bad when yah're not bein' obnoxious."_

"Rogue?" Remy called out weakly yet hopefully, searching around – there was nothing to be seen. She didn't reply.

_"Ah want yah to leave meh alone!"_

_"Ah think we could give it a try… Ah'll be yer girlfriend."_

_"Ah've got better things to do than spend time with one o' Bucket-Head's lackeys!"_

_"Ah love yah, Remy." _

Her voice became progressively quieter, until it finally faded all together. She was gone… It was over. Through his wet eyes, Remy could see nothing. With one final sob, he let the shadows wash over him, and then there was only darkness.

_"Meet meh at th' caf__é..."_

- X -

Professor Xavier removed himself from Gambit's mind, and sighed deeply. If only it had been different… He sorely wished it hadn't turned out this way, and he knew that a large part of the blame belonged to him.

"It's done then?" came a familiar gruff voice from the other end of the room, interrupting his guilt-filled reflections.

He looked over, finding Logan leaning next to the window, watching them. "Yes, the procedure is finished," Charles answered with a heavy heart. "Rogue is completely erased from Mr. LeBeau's mind."

Wolverine grunted in discontented acknowledgement of his words. He still didn't like the way this had played out. Running away from your problems never solved anything, he knew that well from experience. 'Just hope this doesn't come back and bite 'em in the ass,' he thought.

A sombre silence stretched over the room, as both men contemplated the situation. The Professor spoke first, knowing that they were not finished with this all just yet. "Did you get rid of Mr. LeBeau's personal effects?"

"Yup. Threw 'em in the incinerator downstairs." Logan supposed he should feel guilty, destroying a part of the kid's life like that, but he knew better. As far as he was concerned, he had burned it away himself. Technically, that part of his life didn't exist anymore.

When Rogue had wiped Remy, the Canadian had simply thrown her things in the garbage – he felt reluctant to destroy them, thinking that maybe somehow she would want them again, that she would remember… She never did, and her mementos were gone now. He wouldn't make that same mistake this time, so into the fire Gumbo's things went. It was better that way. It was safer.

"Good," nodded Xavier, thinking much the same thing.

"Now what?"

"He is currently in a deep, psychically-induced sleep," came the explanation. "Could you please take him back to his apartment? We cannot have him awaken here."

"Sure," the other man replied curtly, committing the address he was then supplied with to memory and making his way over to the couch.

"Thank you. It's late, but when everyone awakens, I will inform them of what happened. We do not want anybody accidentally mentioning Rogue to Remy," the Professor continued.

"What happens if they do?" Wolverine asked, raising a bushy eyebrow in curiosity. "Everyone's been careful around Rogue so far, but what if someone slips and one of 'em hears something?"

"Nothing would actually occur," Charles replied. "But it would greatly confuse them. Can you imagine if they learn that they possessed a great love and remember nothing of it? We must try and prevent Rogue and Remy from discovering what happened – it would inevitably cause a great deal of stress and questions to arise, and it would be best if that were avoided."

"What if they see each other?" he pressed on.

"I sincerely doubt that will happen."

"Why?"

"Because I do not think Mr. LeBeau will be staying in Bayville much longer. He returned for Rogue, but since that memory was erased, he now believes that he returned to Magneto's service. With Erik gone and the Acolytes' contracts completed, Gambit will most likely return to his family in New Orleans."

"Well, that's all fine an' dandy, Chuck, but _what if_ they see each other?" Logan demanded. He couldn't stand to have a confused, tearful, and heartbroken Rogue on his hands once more – it had nearly killed him to see her like that, after the Cajun had left her. It had taken all of his willpower not to go after him, track him down, and turn his intestines into wind chimes.

"Again, nothing," Xavier answered, steepling his hands together and attempting to ignore the rather violent imagery that Wolverine was projecting. "They have absolutely no memories of each other, there is no reason for them to even _notice_ one another."

"No memories at all? What about them being on opposin' teams?"

He shook his head, indicating a negative response. "No, it was necessary to erase that as well. I could not leave even those memories in, because they were so connected to a myriad of other recollections and feelings."

Logan scowled. This was just insane… Sticking an arm under the Cajun's torso, he flipped him over onto his shoulder and began to carry him out of the room – none too gently, however. In his opinion, he didn't deserve any tender care.

The telepath couldn't help but pick up the feelings of animosity, and stopped his friend from leaving the room. "Logan? May I ask why you are feeling so murderous towards the young man?"

The feral mutant growled, but reluctantly answered the question. "Much as the kid pissed me off, Rogue was happier with him, even a blind man could see that. I hate him for hurtin' her so much."

"That's understandable," commented the Professor. "But what you don't know, Logan, is that Remy was just as hurt by Rogue."

"I hope so," grumbled the Canadian, flexing his hand, wanting to bring out his claws. "He deserved to go through all the pain he put her through first."

"Believe me, he did. It is unfortunate, but as much as they hurt each other, they hurt themselves more."

Wolverine just shook his head, and left the room. The rest of the Institute was sound asleep, and he was grateful for that – it would've raised some awkward questions, seeing him carry LeBeau through the mansion.

He threw the kid in the backseat of one of the vans, and then drove to his apartment. Barging in, he dumped him unceremoniously onto the bed. Logan was about to turn and leave, but something stopped him.

Unsheathing his claws, he aimed them directly over Remy's heart and snarled. "I don't like to be proven wrong, Gumbo," he spat out, pressing the tips of the adamantium onto his chest. "It took me a while, but I got used to you, and I got used to you making Rogue happy. I told myself that you were good for her, but looks like I was wrong. All I can say, bub, is that you're _damn_ lucky you don't remember her, or else I'd be havin' fun slicin' off yer body parts one by one."

Forcing himself to retract the blades, he stepped back and snorted. So what if he had been hurt too? All Logan cared about was Rogue. This punk deserved it, for what he put her through – but it looks like it was all forgotten now.

Sighing, Wolverine stalked out of Remy LeBeau's apartment. The pair might have been able to forget their pain, but he would not. Rogue's hurt was still fresh in his mind, and he wanted an outlet – driving further away from the Institute, he headed for the nearest bar. The kid was lucky he was getting off so easy - for his sake, he hoped Gumbo hightailed it back to the swamp as fast as he could.

* * *

Sigh… Well, there you have it, the memories are over and done with. What oh what will happen now?

Next chapter – Remy wakes up feeling strange, and gets ready to head back to the bayou!

So... Gosh, you know what I just _love_? Reviews! Hint hint. ;-)

Toodles,

- ish -


	19. Commands

**Disclaimer:** If I owned the X-Men, why am I writing fanfics instead of comics?

**A/N:** Ahh, all those tears from last chapter really warmed my cold, black heart… No, just kidding! Believe me, it hurt me too. And yet, all that pain and heartache seemed to compel the most reviews. Interesting, _very_ interesting. Maybe I should do that more often… Nahh. We'll just have to see if things work out, won't we?

Star-of-Chaos, Orage, ASGT, Raven2687,PomegranateQueen, demiducky25, Sweety8587, Leishy, UniversalAnimeGirl,vespie, Dreamcatcher89, MidniteAngelGoth, Ms. Rogue LeBeau, Rogue Almighty, CajunBelle, perturbedpercy, EE's Skysong, RgGOTH, lonewolf, EviltwinAlix, TheDreamerLady,ChibiKaril, enchantedlight, flowerperson, Blackrougefillie,skyangle2004, xpoisonedxangelx, Rogue14, untouchable hexing witch, AnalisDestiny, Me, and darkstorm5000 – You know, Oprah gave every member of her audience cars. And while I'm just as appreciative, I can't afford one car, let alone a couple dozen. How bout some thank-you HotWheels instead?

angyxoxo – Wait, what's that? I finally got you to feel sorry for them? Excellent! Bwa ha ha… But hey, don't give me grief for putting them through all that – might I point your attention towards a little fic called "Shouldn't Be So Hard"? Yeah, that's right, you're _just_ as bad as I am, missy! ;-)

Krys Xanthina – Oh, you're forgiven. After all, such dedication, reading 5-18! Gold stars for you.

Carla-p – Aww, thanks for all the reviews! I only saw the film twice – after the first time I thought, hmm, this would make a good fic, so I saw it again and tried to remember all the stuff I wanted to incorporate. Too bad the DVD hasn't come out yet, that would've make things easier.

ROMY-4-EVA – Oh, ye of little faith… ;-)

SweetRevenge151 – Sure I'll help with your title, anything to get your new work up soon! Seeing the Moz in December, eh? Okay, we'll have to compare his choice of dinner jackets then. And I just recently found out about the rivalry between him and Robert Smith – not in NME (which we do have here, I buy it when there's someone I like in it, but it's hideously expensive – stupid imports!), but on some website. It's so disappointing, cuz they're both so lovely! My sister came up with the idea of getting them both to play the same show without knowing that the other will be there, and they'll walk out on stage, see each other, and finally put aside their differences! Okay, so maybe not… But I can dream.

Pandora's Sorrow – Yup, that's what this fic is based on (I mentioned it in the notes for chpt.1).

TheRealMai – Ahh yes, blame Belle for everything… I like the way you think! ;-)

the sinister bra – Thanks for mentioning about informing his family, I almost forgot about that! Heh heh, oops… Yeah, that would've been pretty important. I worked it into chapter 21, I believe.

Sophie – Hey, Canadians don't disembowel, we're too nice, eh! The hockey sticks and moose riding I don't mind, but Celine Dion? Now, that's just insulting. ;-) Trade Hugh Jackman for sexy Canadian diver? We've got a deal!

heartsyhawk – I've learned to embrace my evilness. Seriously, you should hear me cackle when I get so many distraught responses… I guess I'm cruel in that way. And hypocritical, cuz I hate when other author's do evil things, but that's just the way I am! At least I can admit it.

Calliann – Glad the tissues kept you from drowning, but now you've got a soggy mess on your hands, which is no fun! Oh well, I think you can put away the tissues from here on in.

Goddess Evie – Okay, not exactly Express Mail. The package got lost so it took a few days longer, but at least it reached its destination! But as an added bonus, it got delivered by the UPS guys in their cute brown shorts. ;-)

Now, now, let's not all freak out – last chapter I said Remy would be getting_ read_y to leave for the Bayou. Did I specifically say anything about him actually _getting_ there? _Hmm_… ;-)

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 19 – Commands**

_"Memory always obeys the commands of the heart." – Antoine Rivarol_

Remy's eyes fluttered as he slowly began to wake up. He felt strange… Exhaustion, maybe? He had slept, he knew that, but it seemed as if he hadn't – instead, it felt as if he'd been running around the whole night.

Forcing himself to sit up, he let out a groan. His head was pounding…. Had he been drinking last night? He was still in his clothes, his shoes were still on – it was like he had just fallen into bed. It was his own bed, Remy noted with surprise – if he was at a bar, the odds were that he would have ended up in some random femme's bed. He didn't exactly feel hung-over… So what happened?

Concentrating on yesterday, Remy did his best to think of what he had done. It was all a big blur… Oh, wait, there it was. He had gone to Xavier's Institute… That was it, the old man wanted to see him about a place on his team, now that he was done with Magneto's contract. He scoffed at the thought, and shook his head – that action turned out to be a mistake, as his headache increased in intensity.

Groaning, the Cajun staggered into the bathroom, where he reached into the medicine cabinet and swallowed two tablets of aspirin, dry. Hopefully that would help deal with the mother of all migraines hammering away in his head.

Staring at his reflection in the mirror, Remy saw that he looked like hell. There were bags under his eyes, there were three small tears in his shirt, and he badly needed a shave. Well, one thing at a time – pulling out his razor, he quickly shaved, then stripped and hopped into the shower. The blast of cold water rejuvenated him, waking him instantly, but it couldn't shake the nagging feeling from the back of his mind, like he was forgetting something…

He did his best to ignore it. If he couldn't remember, then it mustn't have been that important, he deduced.

He stepped out of the shower dripping wet, dried himself off, and put on some new clothes. He threw the top he had woken up in into the garbage – he didn't know where the trio of holes over his heart had come from, but the shirt was ruined now.

As he walked away from the wastebasket, Remy felt something dig into his foot. Wincing slightly, he kneeled to get a closer look at what it could be. His attention was caught by something small and silver – picking it up, he found it to be a clasp, one from a necklace or a chain.

'Where de hell is dis from?' he wondered curiously. He didn't wear anything like that. Could it have been from a _femme_? No, looking back, he couldn't recall the last time anybody had been over to his apartment…

Thoroughly confused, he placed it on his dresser. It was probably nothing.

Gazing around, the apartment seemed rather empty. Did it always look so bare? Remy brushed it off – it didn't matter, it was simply less junk for him to pack. He wanted to go back to N'Awlins, he decided. He missed the bayou already, even after only a few days away. Xavier was kind enough, but he doubted a thief would fit in well with his team of freedom fighters.

There was simply nothing keeping him in Bayville.

Gambit quickly gathered his things – there really wasn't much to pack, just clothes and toiletries to toss into a large duffel bag. The paintings on the wall, the electronics, the furniture, none of that was important – they were all replaceable, all things he had back home in the Guild mansion.

Home. It called to him, the soothing song of the South. _Tante_ Mattie had once joked that he had swamp water running through his veins – it was probably true, and he needed it replenished. But maybe he should take the longer route, do some sightseeing across a few states before going back, just in case. After the wedding fiasco, he should probably let relations between the Guilds calm down before he came sauntering back into town.

The grim recollection of what had happened back in that church made him frown. 'I need a cigarette,' Remy told himself, knowing it would put him at ease. Yes, that would definitely soothe him, especially after this bizarre morning. Something was just… Off.

Patting down the pockets of his trench coat, he was surprised to find himself without a pack. Heading over to his bedside table, there were none in the drawer there either. Searching through every room, Remy could not find a single cigarette in his apartment. Surprisingly enough, however, he didn't even feel a craving…

This was mystifying. Wondering if he was going insane, Gambit grabbed his duffel bag, slung it over his shoulder, and hurried out the door. He just needed to leave, that was it. Tying his belongings on to his motorcycle, he hopped on, revved the engine, and zipped off.

'_Au revoir_, Bayville,' he thought as he drove down the road. He wouldn't miss this place.

Before he sped up, something on the side of the street caught Remy's eye. Without realizing it, he pulled over and parked his bike in front of _Le Café_ Café. He felt a curious, compelling urge to go inside. No, it was more than an urge… It was like something was commanding him to enter.

He didn't fully understand the sudden impluse, but he went along with it anyway. A jolt of caffeine sounded good right about now, especially since his supply of nicotine was nowhere to be found. Hopping off the motorcycle, he strolled up to the establishment. It seemed familiar, but it couldn't be. Remy knew for a fact that during all the time he spent in Bayville, he had never been here.

Pushing open the door, the Cajun walked in. He liked it almost immediately – there was a comfortable feel to it. It reminded him of a library, or a den. As usual, Remy vigilantly scanned the area – he took in the customers sitting at the tables, and then instinctively searched for possible exits – his training was so deeply ingrained that he couldn't even get a cup of coffee without feeling paranoid, he thought. A second later, however, he was grateful for his cautiousness.

When Remy's eyes detected an exit sign at the back of the café, he couldn't help but notice something else – something that was much more intriguing than possible escape paths.

At the very back was a table almost obscured from view – it was out of sheer luck he saw it, for it could have very easily been missed. Sitting alone at that table was something the Cajun could never resist: a _belle_ _femme_. But this one happened to be more beautiful than all the rest…

Remy let his eyes wander all over her, drinking her in, trying to ignore the unknown feeling brewing in the pit of his stomach. The first thing he noticed was her unusual hair – it was a rich auburn colour, but with two white streaks at the front. It was different, but he decided almost instantly that he liked it. He liked the rest of her too – lush curves accentuated by leather pants, pale, flawless skin that could be seen through her fishnet shirt, and pouting lips emphasized by dark purple lipstick.

After taking in her physical beauty, he focused on her actions. She was huddled in the corner, attentively reading a book. A gloved hand grabbed hold of a steaming mug of coffee and brought it to her lips, then quickly jerked it away when it was found to be too hot. The whole time, her eyes never left the pages. He wished they would, he felt an overwhelming urge to see what those eyes looked like… Judging by the rest of her, they would have to be absolutely stunning.

Forcing himself out of his daze, Remy finally returned to reality. How long had he been watching her? He must have seemed ridiculous, just standing at the entrance like that… But it didn't matter. All he felt was an intense longing to go talk to her.

Commanding his feet to move, he started over towards the rear. He wasn't quite sure what he was doing – something about this mystery girl intrigued him, it called out to him and lured him in, and he had only just laid eyes on her! Remy wasn't quite sure he liked that feeling, of something pulling him in like that… He was determined to establish what it could be. It was most likely a fluke, he was positive his mind would soon realize that she was really nothing special.

When Remy reached her table, he took a deep breath – as a way to assuage the nervousness he was feeling? For some reason, this felt so important, so pivotal… Shrugging that thought away, he put on the most charismatic smile he could and began.

- X -

Rogue was quite content. She was curled up with a good book and a cup of coffee in the café – her usual back table was quiet, secluded, just as she liked it. There was nobody there to bother her, or to judge her – her novel didn't talk back, it just allowed her get lost in a fantasy land where she could forget all of the problems and feelings and emptiness that plagued her in the real world. Factor in the delicious drink that always managed to calm her nerves, and it equalled Rogue's perfect afternoon.

It was nice, the feeling of ease and relaxation. Perhaps it would take her mind off those confusing emotions that had been badgering her lately… Of course it would, she told herself. Rogue was determined not to think of them today – she would simply finish reading _The Vampire Lestat_, and then she could work on finding a copy of _Queen of the Damned_. Yes, that would keep her busy enough, enough to ignore those annoying, incomprehensible feelings.

Her plan set, Rogue's attention was once again engrossed in her book until she heard a smooth, rich voice speak."_Excusez-moi, chère_, mind if I sit down?"

Before she even moved, she had pinpointed the accent. 'Cajun', she identified, and was instantly reminded of the South, before snapping her head up to determine who dared to disturb her. Upon seeing precisely who happened to be standing there, her jaw then dropped open in shock.

It was the same man from yesterday, the one who stood in the doorway and watched her! She recognized him immediately – he wore the same old trench coat, his dark hair was still dishevelled, but he was clean-shaven now… His most distinguishing feature, those gorgeous eyes of his, were hidden behind sunglasses this time, and Rogue felt disappointed at that before reminding herself to get a grip.

She quickly shut her mouth and tried to act like she wasn't gawking at him. 'Jeez, gal, yah hear a Southern accent an' yah automatically go all soft!' she chastised herself. It was time to regain some dignity and portray her frosty persona – glaring at the stranger, Rogue replied coolly, "Yeah, Ah do mind."

Her tone didn't do much to send him scampering off, like it usually managed to. Acting as if he didn't hear her, he pulled out a chair and sat down across from her.

Annoyed at his action, she pinpointed his type immediately – he was the kind of guy who was all too aware of how attractive he was, and it had gone to his head. 'Aww, crap, Ah just admitted that he's attractive…' Rogue then took in, but couldn't do anything about it. He _was_, that much was true – too bad the package didn't come stocked with a more respectful personality.

She narrowed her eyes, but he was too busy looking her up and down to notice her glare. "Are yah deaf? Ah didn't say yah could sit!"

"'M not deaf, I just didn't listen," came his smooth answer. "I'd like t' talk t' y'."

"Ah ain't interested," she stated, endeavouring to get back to her book. All she had wanted was a nice, relaxing afternoon, not some pretentious, pompous man stealing her privacy! Rogue had absolutely no interest in such a cocky specimen – besides, she already had one of her own, she remembered, thinking of Pietro.

"I t'ink y' are," the Cajun smirked infuriatingly.

"Why would yah think that?" she scowled, finally slamming her novel shut and looking up at him. Clearly, ignoring him wouldn't work. "Yah don't know meh."

"_Non_, but mebbe I'd like t'."

This time Rogue was the one to smirk. "An' how do yah know _that_? Again, yah don't know meh," she repeated, believing she had gotten the best of him and laughing to herself – this was probably the first time a girl had ever pushed him away, she wondered if he would be able to take it!

"Again, I might not know y', but I'd like t'."

"Why?" she asked, now suspicious. Why was someone like him, someone who could have any girl he wanted, here with her? There had to be something else to this…

He contradicted her doubts. "Cause I t'ink y're interestin', an' dat y're someone wort' knowin'. Dere's no evil purpose b'hind dis."

"Riiight," she drawled, not believing him for a second. There appeared to be an evil purpose behind everything in her life – starting from the very beginning with her adoption, Rogue had been used and betrayed, and this was probably just another opportunity for that. Him being the type of guy he was, she guessed that his objective would be to get into her pants. 'He'll sure be disappointed,' the girl thought wryly.

"'M serious!" he continued, in a futile attempt to convince her of his sincerity. Right, like she would fall for this… "Can't _un homme_ sit down wit' a _belle_ _fille_ he's interested in an' talk t' her?"

"No!" Rogue shouted, embarrassed when some customers looked her way. Quieting her voice, Rogue still kept her words sharp. "No, no, yah can't, not when that gal is meh, got it?" she spat out in a vicious whisper. Without him meaning it, his words had hit her hard – she would never be a normal girl like that, one who could flirt with men such as him that hit on her.

"Why not?" he queried softly.

"Cause Ah'm a mutant!" Rogue hissed, not even caring that she could be revealing herself to a potential mutant-hater. A small part of her hoped he was, maybe he would run off scared like all the rest and leave her alone!

However, the flirt looked more curious than afraid. "Really?" he questioned. "What are yo' powers?"

"Yah really don't wanna know," she mumbled, crossing her arms and slouching in her seat.

"I asked, didn' I?"

She glanced back up at him, and then huffed in contempt. "Okay then. Ah absorb th' memories an' life force o' whoever Ah come into skin on skin contact with, an' if they're a mutant, Ah get their powers too," Rogue explained bitterly, and continued in a sarcastic tone. "An' th' _best_ part is that Ah don't have control over it!"

After she was done, she sat and waited for the part she knew was coming – the part where he'd call her a freak and rush off in terror. What she didn't expect was for him to remain sitting across from her. From what she could tell, there was no fear on his face – why not? It was hard to ascertain his emotions with those sunglasses hiding his eyes, but Rogue could swear that he actually looked sympathetic.

"So," she continued cynically, knowing it must have been her imagination. She didn't want his damn pity… She would just hand him a way out, and watch him take it. "Yah still wanna sit an' chat? Or are yah gonna go an' keep yer distance like everyone else?"

"Mebbe dey all keep a distance cause y' want dem to," he observed.

Her self-deprecating feelings dissolved in an instant, replaced with loathing at this man, and the gall he possessed. Who the hell was he to judge and analyze her? "Excuse meh?" Rogue whispered, slowly and dangerously, daring him to explain.

He obviously had a death wish, because he continued. "Looks like y' push people away. I just wanted t' talk t' y', dere's nothin' wrong wit' dat, but instead, y' act all hostile!"

"Hostile? Damn straight Ah'm hostile!" she exclaimed, on the verge of hysterics, yet somehow managing to keep her voice down – there was no need to humiliate herself in front of everybody. "Ah hurt people with a single touch! Yah can't possibly know how that feels! Yah can't know what it's like to have people scared o' yah, to have 'em flinch when yah walk by!"

He frowned. "Don' assume dat," he told her. "'M a mutant too, _chère_. I can blow t'ings up wit' a touch – when I first got m' powers, I blew up everyt'in', so I know 'bout hurtin' people, 'bout not touchin' anyt'in'. An' believe me, I know 'bout people bein' afraid o' y', an' flinchin' around y'," he divulged.

Rogue felt some of her anger ebb away with his speech – they had gone through the same things… But an unbidden resentment quickly surged up from within her. 'That was in th' past fo' him! He doesn't have to go through those things anymo', he can touch now, and he probably takes advantage o' that fact fo' all its worth!' she fumed, but then her train of thought derailed when he took off his sunglasses and stared straight at her.

"At least dey don't call y' _Le Diable_," he continued quietly.

Logically, she would have thought her first reaction to be fear upon seeing his eyes, but instead, she only felt captivated once more, just like yesterday. "They're not devil eyes," Rogue finally spoke in a hushed voice, slightly embarrassed when it hitched. "They're beautiful."

She couldn't believe she had just paid him a compliment – she barely knew him, and just seconds ago they were fighting! But the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. They really _were_ beautiful, and even though she had seen them the day before, they still managed to make her breath catch in her throat.

They were strange, but in a unique way. They were demonic, but in a striking way. They were frightening, but only in the way that they managed to shake her to her core. The only word she could think of that would encompass everything she thought about them was 'beautiful', and even that was a weak descriptor.

"So are yo' eyes, _chère_… Wait, what? Y' actually mean dat?" he enquired, as if he thought what she said had been a slip up. It was almost… endearing to see the man act so unsure when moments ago he had been more arrogant than anything.

"Ah said it, didn't Ah?" Rogue said, insulted that he thought she would lie about such a thing. "Yah don't believe meh?"

"Well, y' didn' believe me earlier 'bout wantin' t' talk to y'…"

She scowled. "Are we back to that again?"

"_Oui_."

"Argh!" she exploded, throwing her hands in the air, and leaning over the small table to jab him in the chest. "Get this through yer thick skull, Cajun – Ah'm not a concept, Ah'm not just some untouchable gal yah can win over as a challenge!" Rogue informed him fiercely, stabbing him with her finger to emphasize her words. She had had enough of him – maybe being viciously blunt would make him realize the mistake he was making in attempting to charm her! "Ah'm fucked up enough as it is without some… Some _swamp rat_ playin' meh!"

"Good, cause 'm not playin'," came the cool reply, as if her outburst never occurred.

"Holy shit, what on earth will it take to get rid o' yah?" she cried. She was amazed that after all this arguing, he was still sitting there, calm and collected.

"Like I said befo', I want t' sit an' talk wit' y'."

"Yah can't be serious," she marvelled.

"'M very serious," he persisted. "If y'd stop wit' all dat self-pity, mebbe y' could see dat. Can' we please just sit an' chat?"

"Oh yeah, cause yah're _really_ wooin' meh by talkin' to meh like that," Rogue shot back sarcastically. Did he honestly think he'd get on her good side by insulting her?

He heaved a huge sigh. "_Desolé_," he muttered, running a hand through his damp hair. She tried not to notice how alluring that action was… "Look, dere's no harm in talkin', henh? Gimme a little while, it won' kill y'."

He was so stubborn, it was exasperating! He was challenging her in a way nobody else dared – she wasn't about to back down, but she was nearing her limit! Giving him a frosty look, Rogue gestured towards her coffee. "Yah've got until Ah finish this cup, an' then Ah'm gone," she ruled, giving him no other options.

"Ahh, _merci, chère_," he smiled at her, reverting to his charming guise.

"Ah ain't yer _chère_, swamp rat," she snorted, and tentatively sipped her coffee. It gave her something to focus on, other than the intense desire to reach over and wring his neck – he had her blood boiling like never before!

"Well, y' have a pet name f'r me already, so 'm only returnin' de favour," he retorted with a grin.

"Aww, how _considerate_," Rogue said in the sweetest tone she could manage, having it ooze with insincerity. "Sorry, but Ah'll have to decline."

"Well den, how 'bout y' just call me Remy."

"That's yer name?" she inquired while once again tasting her drink. It was too hot now, so she put it down in frustration – she would have to put up with the Cajun a bit longer. Dammit, she wanted to drink it fast and get out of here!

"_Oui_, Remy LeBeau, at yo' service, _chère_," he introduced himself, even bowing a little. "An' y' are?"

She had to keep herself from smirking when she mentally translated his name – Remy 'The Handsome'? No wonder he was so damn full of himself! Then noticing he was waiting for her own name, she stated, "Rogue. An' Ah'm not yer _chère_!"

"Cute nickname, but what's yo' real one?" Remy asked.

She grimaced. How could she tell him, when she herself didn't even know? "It's just Rogue, swamp rat," she enlightened him sternly.

"How mysterious," he grinned.

"Ah try," was the brusque response.

"So…" he trailed off.

Rogue noticed his pause and pounced on it – it was time to infuriate him as much as he did her. "Hmm, yah use up all yer charm already, bayou boy?" she taunted.

"'M never out o' charm," Remy retorted. "Y' just interrupted me befo' I could finish."

"Whatever," she teased, not believing him. "Then continue, by all means. Yah were sayin'?"

"Well… Tell m' about yo'self," he requested.

"Yah ain't gettin' anythin' outta meh," she said guardedly. "Yah know too much already."

"Hey, no need t' get defensive!" he yelped, throwing his hands up in the air in surrender. "'S only a simple question, y' don' have t' answer it if y' don' want."

"Good, cause Ah won't," Rogue let him know.

"Well, how are we goin' t' get t' know each ot'er if y' won' talk?" Remy beseeched her. He had a damn twinkle in his eye that told her he knew exactly what he was doing, riling her up like this, and he enjoyed it! Well, she sure didn't.

"Ah don't wanna know yah!" she corrected him, abruptly standing up from her chair – it was time to end this. "An' yah've learned all yah will about meh!"

"_Oui_, I learned dat y've got one hell o' a temper…"

"An' now yah can learn that Ah ain't gonna sit here an' let yah play yer damn game!" she seethed, grabbing her novel and moving to leave.

Before she could rush off, Remy shot out his leg, jamming her between it and the wall to their one side. "Hey, not so fast, _chère_," he wagged his finger at her. "Y' said I had until y' finished de drink."

Shooting him the most malicious glare she could muster, Rogue managed to force out, "Fine."

She felt a great sense of satisfaction, knowing that he thought he had her – instead, she snatched her mug and drank down all her coffee, doing her best to ignore the painful burning in her mouth. It would be more painful to sit back down and spend more time with the swamp rat!

"There, done," she panted, shoved his leg out of her way, and stalked out of the café without another word.

- X -

Remy LeBeau ambled back into his apartment and threw his duffel bag onto his bed. His body then followed, as he stretched out comfortably with his heads clasped behind his head. A broad grin slowly grew on his face – he had found a reason to keep him in Bayville. And what a reason she was…

* * *

Well, look at that, they meet again… In much the same way. Huh. Fancy that! Of _course_ they would, do you really have so little faith in me? Kudos to all you who predicted it. But the _real_ question is, what will happen between them _now_? Dun dun duhh!

Next chapter – Some nice conversations in the park.

Okay, I'm expecting lots of reviews, all happy and filled with exclamation points that they found each other again, yay! So bring 'em on! Reviews ahoy.

Toodles,

- ish -


	20. Stir

**Disclaimer:** As a form of protest for me not owning the X-Men, I'll refrain from writing a disclaimer. Take _that_!

**A/N:** I had the strange urge to go out and buy a fish the other day. Now it lives in a pineapple under the sea (also known as a Spongebob fish tank), and it's just kinda watching me. It needs a name, any suggestions?

Aro, PomegranateQueen, mollymo, SCaliGirlHK,the sinister bra, perturbedpercy, thegambit23, loneraven,Rogue14, darkstorm5000, EE's Skysong, Rogue Almighty,enchantedlight, redeyes813, heartsyhawk, xpoisonedxangelx,lonewolf, SickmindedSucker, Tsugath, Eliza, Ms.Rogue LeBeau, and skyangle2004 – Oh, my adoring public, I adore you all back! And if that isn't enough for you… Well, have a Slinky. Everyone loves a Slinky.

Star-of-Chaos, demiducky25,Sweety8587, TheRealMai, EmeraldKatsEye, and flowerperson – Hah, I was getting déjà vu while reading all your reviews, since they all mentioned that… ;-)

TheDreamerLady – Sorry to burst your bubble, but no plot hole – remember back in the second chapter when Rogue was talking to Kitty, and she wondered if the guy with red and black eyes could be a mutant? So she really wasn't sure if he one or not, and at that point she was so pissed that she was kinda hoping for any reason for him to leave and him being a mutant-hater would be a pretty good one. Hah, but you were right about the copying and pasting… I'm such a cheater.

Beer'n'chips – She did get control, but since Remy helped her with it and so many memories of him were tied in with it, the control was erased when Rogue wiped him from her mind.

Calliann – Pain? Oh yes, I can promise pain… Bwa ha ha! ;-)

SweetRevenge151 – Crap story? Pshaw! Get some self-esteem, woman. Or better yet, just send me sneak previews and let me gush about it, that'll cheer you right up! Yeah, the Mozzer is expensive – my tics cost about 60, is that equivalent to £35? I don't know the conversion of Canadian dollars to pounds and I'm too lazy to check. But hey, we can't blame him, I bet snazzy dinner jackets don't come cheap.

Dreamcatcher89 – So! Many! Exclamation! Points! Gold! Stars! For! You!

giggleboxsam – Sorry, we won't have a Rogue point of view about her heartache, since it's already after the fact and I don't want to mess up the chronological flow of the fic. Maybe I can make it up to you though, because being a sounding board sounds good. But I never use messengers, so just email me.

Goddess Evie – You'll see what happens with the book soon. I'd cackle evilly right about now, but you mentioning Remy wearing nothing at all filled my mouth with drool and I started choking, which is never good.

Eileen Blazer – Okay, you're forgiven for missing an update since I'll get my revenge by making you fail math, bwa ha ha! Ugh, I hate math. And parabolas. They're completely useless! Believe me, I feel your pain, drifting off during class and thinking of sexy Cajuns named Remy… Anyhoo, glad you liked the way it turned around – me too, what a coincidence! But of _course_ something else is gonna happen – the question is what? Dun dun duhh!

Raven2687 – Your description of Pietro made me laugh… Oh, how apt! Don't worry, everything won't be the same, I agree that would be annoying. There's one more situation of similarity in this chapter but then things sure will change…

Neurotic Temptress – I'm happy you caught up, but I noticed that you were reviewer #666… Eeep! It's a sign!

Orage – Sorry, don't get your hopes up. My reasoning for their repetition is that they're still the same people with the same thought processes and all, so stick them in the same situation and it'd probably happen similarly. But nice try…

Oooh, so I bet you all wanna know what happens between Rogue and Remy now, huh? Do ya? Really? Really?! Well, you'll have to wait a bit. ;-) First, we'll check in with everybody's favourite speed demon! Yup, I bet you're all _loving_ that…

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 20 – Stir**

_"Abruptly the poker of memory stirs the ashes of recollection and uncovers a forgotten ember, still smouldering down there, still hot, still glowing, still red as red." – William Manchester_

Rogue sat under a large oak tree at the lake, her designated "thinking spot", while she attempted to read her book. There were only a few more pages to go, and she was determined to finish it today. 'Ah would've been done already if it hadn't been fo' that damn swamp rat,' she grumbled to herself, and then groaned in frustration.

Again, that cocky Cajun was disrupting her thoughts! Ever since he had interrupted her reading time yesterday, Rogue's infuriation at him had been popping up constantly. She had seethed all the rest of the afternoon, her mind had been racing so she couldn't fall asleep, and when she finally did, he had made a guest appearance in her dream! It was ridiculous! Somehow, he had managed to work his way into her head, probably just to spite her…

What did it mean? Surely, it was just her anger. Yeah, that was all. That was all it could be. But Rogue refused to think about it anymore!

She shut the novel with a groan, and looked up at the tree. The soothing sound of rustling leaves calmed her slightly, but then her eyes noticed something hanging from one of the large limbs. There were two thick pieces of rope, knotted to the branches, as if something had been suspended from them… It was odd – in all the time she had been coming here, Rogue had never seen anything hanging from the oak.

A second later, when she saw Pietro run into the clearing, it was pushed from her mind.

"Hi, Rogue," he greeted her, flashing her his patented charming grin.

"Hey, Pietro," she smiled back, closing her book. A small delay wouldn't hurt, she told herself, she could finish it later. "What are yah doin' here? How'd yah find meh?"

He shrugged, before placing his backpack down and sitting on the grass beside her. "Not sure… Just followed the ol' Maximoff intuition, and found you here."

"Ahh, so yah're psychic now," Rogue joked, raising a sceptical eyebrow.

"Just with you, Roguey. We've got a great connection."

"Don't call meh Roguey," she scowled lightly. She repeatedly told him not to, but would he listen? She then continued curiously, "An' what connection might that be?"

"Well, there's obviously something strong between us," Pietro clarified confidently. "I mean, we're always running into each other, finding the other, stuff like that."

Rogue just scoffed. "Yah actually believe in that stuff?" she asked. "Ah call it coincidence." It sounded like the sappy stuff found in romance novels (not that she'd ever read them, of course), the things that were too romantic and perfect to be true.

Looking at his face, she saw that Pietro actually looked a bit upset. Did that all really mean something to him? Feeling bad, she tried to change the subject. "So, sugah, yah never said what yah were doin' here."

"Well, I wanted to see if you were okay. You never showed up to meet me yesterday," he replied with a slight frown, and then his arrogance began to shine through. "There'd have to be something seriously wrong for anyone not to want to see me."

A comment like that would have normally made Rogue roll her eyes in exasperation, but instead they widened with surprise. She had forgotten to meet him! Because she had been with Remy… Yet another way he had ruined her whole day! How dare he?

"Oh, dammit, Ah'm so sorry!," she exclaimed, and then to her amazement, proceeded to lie. "Ah stopped fo' coffee an' started readin', an' Ah lost track o' time!"

She felt guilty, more so for lying than for forgetting to meet him. If he had heard the truth then he would have just been jealous, so this was for the best, she rationalized, and hoped he'd believe her fib.

He did. "Oh, so you found a book more interesting than me?" pouted Pietro, but then smirked. "That's okay, I love you anyways."

Rogue simply laughed uncomfortably, not responding. She never did when he said things like that, whenever he mentioned the word 'love'. It caused something strange to stir inside her, but she could never figure out what. Was it nervousness? Or yearning? _Could_ it be love? Maybe… She had no idea, so simply opted for no replies – at least, not until she was able to sort out her emotions. She could love him… Right?

Quicksilver was good to her… He spent time with her, always listening to her, saying the right things, doing the right things – even when she couldn't offer anything back in return, because of her curse. For some reason he had endless confidence in her, telling her that she would be able to control it – hell, he even began working with her on it! That was, in fact, what Pietro then proposed.

"So, babe, you busy? You wanna work on your meditation some more?" he suggested eagerly, moving to sit in front of her and take her gloved hands in his when she nodded.

Crossing her legs, Rogue began to take slow, deep breaths, and started the process of entering her mind. Her psyches were quieter now – she had just woken up one day and found them like that, which had been strange, but a godsend. However, something was still off, something was missing, the vital piece to the puzzle of her control, and she was trying to find it. Honestly, she didn't even know if this would work, but figured it was worth a try. Professor Xavier was completely confident about this method, telling her he was absolutely sure that it was the way.

But then, why hadn't it succeeded yet? He had worked on it with her, to no avail. She was still untouchable. Now Pietro had been encouraging her, but not much progress had been made. They were both so positive it would work, but Rogue couldn't help but have her doubts.

Shaking her head slightly, as if to purge the negative vibes from her mind, she attempted to focus once more. She had to clear away her thoughts in order to meditate properly. However, instead of silence, she could vaguely make out Pietro's words of encouragement as he sat there, watching her.

"Come on, Roguey, you can do it," came his faint whispers. "You're too damn stubborn to let this control you forever, I _know_ you can do it!"

His words helped, even prompting her to smile a little, and Rogue prepared to delve deeper into her mind. However, she stopped abruptly – she sensed him moving, his hands reaching towards her, coming closer and closer to her skin…

"Stop!" she cried, eyes shooting open and slapping his hand away with hers.

He had that look in his eyes again… Fear. She knew he tried to hide it, but no matter how often Pietro told her that he believed in her, there was always a glint of apprehension showing her that he was afraid of being absorbed. Not that she could blame him, of course. Rogue hadn't absorbed him for ages, the last time being long before they had started dating, and she was determined not to do it now. She didn't want to hurt her boyfriend, because to her it would only prove that she shouldn't have one in the first place.

"I'msorryRogue," he blurted out, his words running together in his fluster. "Ithoughtyoudidit, Isawyousmileandthoughtyoumighthavehadit…"

"No, not yet," she told him, eyes downcast. 'If ever,' came her pessimistic reflection.

"Don't worry, you'll get it," Pietro declared, calming down some, making his words comprehensible once more. "We'll try again soon. Why don't we take our minds off it now, okay?"

Reaching into the bag he constantly carried around with him, he shuffled through some papers, pulled out a book, and handed it to Rogue.

"_Queen of the Damned_?" she read in delight, her mood brightened and the usual depressed funk averted. "Thanks, sugah! Wow, how'd yah know Ah was just thinkin' o' gettin' this?"

"Um, I knew you hadn't read yet," he explained, scratching his head nervously. "Besides, I wanted to get you something I knew you'd like, to show you how much you mean to me."

Rogue smiled at his sweet words, despite the strange feeling that they didn't seem to quite fit coming from his mouth. She ignored that, much like she did with the other bizarre feelings vexing her lately. "Thank yah, Pietro. Ah don't know how yah do it, but somehow yah manage to give meh gifts Ah actually like – no one else has been able to do that."

"Well, I can read you like a book," he teased her with a sly gleam in his eye, prompting a groan and a smack on the arm for his bad pun.

- X -

Later that afternoon, after Rogue left Pietro at the boarding house, she walked through the park on the way back to the mansion. Upon seeing an empty bench, she decided to sit herself down and finish reading – it was a nice day and the park was quiet, so she figured she might as well take advantage of it. If she went back to the Institute, well, peace and quiet were simply not an option there.

She completed _The Vampire Lestat_ in no time, and then reached for _Queen of the Damned._ A few pages into it, and already her mind had started drifting. She was getting a weird feeling of déjà vu, or some other sort of familiarity… Strange, since she had never read the book before. Maybe the movie was influencing her? Yeah, that had to be it.

Attempting to focus once more, Rogue engrossed herself in the novel on her lap. Soon she had dived into the dark world of the author's creation, and was completely captivated by the story. So captivated, in fact, that at first she failed to notice somebody clearing their throat beside her. When that person gave a little cough, she jerked her head up in annoyance.

"What?" she scowled, before recognizing just who had sat down on her bench. Great, just great…

"_Bonjour, chère_," came Remy LeBeau's greeting. "Read any good books lately?"

"What, are yah stalkin' meh, swamp rat?" Rogue asked in disbelief. Hadn't he learned his lesson yesterday? "What th' hell do yah want now?"

"Well," he drawled lazily, stretching and slinging an arm out behind her that only caused her to inch forward. "T' be perfectly honest, I wanted t' ask y' out on a date."

She blinked, startled. "Ah'm sorry, what did yah say?"

"A date, _chère_. I'd like t' go on a date wit' y'," he slowly repeated, as if amused by her reaction.

"Why th' hell would Ah wanna go on a date with yah?" she questioned incredulously. "Yesterday yah did nothin' but piss meh off! Ah've known yah fo' less than twenty-four hours, an' already Ah can't stand yah!" Oh yeah, and there was the fact that she already had a boyfriend, came her afterthought… Why hadn't she mentioned that?

"_Oui_, 'm sorry 'bout dat, _petite_," Remy winced. "Didn' exactly make de best impression, henh?"

"No, yah didn't," she huffed, surprised he had admitted it.

"So I was hopin' I could try again," he continued. He actually sounded sincere…

"Why should Ah let yah?" she grilled him, not buying it. "An' better yet, why would yah wanna? Yah didn't get enough o' mah insults already?"

"Well, I couldn' get enough o' _you_, _chère_, an' I still want t' get t' know y. 'M guessin' y'll let me cause I t'ink y're just as interested in me as I am in y'," he rapidly replied to all of her questions, stunning her with how genuine he appeared.

"Ah am _not _interested in yah!" Rogue firmly refuted his contention. His earnestness had to be an act…

"Mebbe y' will be if y' get t' know me," he shot back.

"Ah sincerely doubt it."

"Why? Y' afraid y' might like me?"

"No way! That'll never happen," she exclaimed indignantly. "Ah'm not gonna be one o' yer challenges, Cajun."

"Y're not a challenge, Rogue. Y're just _challenging_.

"Again, Ah doubt it," she scoffed.

"Den y'd be wrong."

"No way. Ah'm right, Ah know it."

"And if y' aren't?"

"Ah am," insisted Rogue.

"_Non_, y're not," Remy corrected her.

"Ah am!"

"Y're not! Y're just scared."

"Scared? O' what?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. What would she possibly be scared of?

"Y're scared dat somebody actually wants t' get t' know y', even after y' push dem away," he rationalized, rather incompetently she thought.

Aw, hell, who was she kidding? She hated to admit it, but the swamp rat was right. He made her nervous, he didn't obey the boundaries she put up around her – it was something she never had to deal with before, not even with Pietro. The fact that someone wasn't intimidated by her intimidated her. But she would never let Remy LeBeau know it!

"Ah am not!" Rogue continued to deny adamantly.

"Really?"

"Really!"

Remy looked at her with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Prove me wrong, den," he dared her.

"Fine, Ah will!" she declared without thinking. He had challenged her, and she wasn't about to back down!

"_Bon_! Den let's get t' know each ot'er," he grinned.

"What?" she sputtered, realizing what she had just talked herself into. "Wait, Ah didn't mean that!"

"Too late, _chère_," Remy laughed heartily. 'That's a nice sound,' Rogue thought, before she could stop herself.

She then glared at him, but it had no effect. She opted for a different approach, one she knew well – verbal assault. "What, is this how yah get girls?" she sneered. "By trickin' 'em?"

"_Non_, just y'."

"Gee, Ah feel special," she said sarcastically.

"Oh, y' are, Rogue. Y' can deny what I say all y' want," he grinned cheekily. "But I bet it's true… Y' want t' sit an' gaze int' my, an' I quote, 'beautiful eyes'."

The Goth blushed, not quite sure how to rebut that – after all, she couldn't deny that she had said it! She turned her head away in a weak attempt to save her from embarrassment. She knew it had been a mistake to utter those words, what on earth had possessed her to do so?

Much to her surprise, Remy changed the subject instead of pursuing his teasing. "Why don't we start by y' tellin' me 'bout dat book y're readin'?"

Rogue turned back to face him, eyeing him curiously. She hadn't expected him to just give her leave like that… It was quite gracious of him, actually. She decided she might as well run with it – it would probably save her from more humiliation and irritation. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to talk, and refrain from further arguments. "Well, Ah just started, but so far it's good."

"I've never read it."

"Ah've read th' rest o' the series, an' this is th' last one. Ah think th' fact that Ah saw th' movie is throwin' meh off a bit though…"

"_Oui_, I know what y' mean… Y' get a picture o' de actors in y'r head instead o' imaginin' de characters on yo' own, henh?"

To her amazement, Rogue found herself agreeing, and from there a real conversation ensued, one without insults or innuendos. After she gave her review of the book, Remy began to comment on his own tastes in reading, which let to their opinions on movies, music, and television. The talk progressed quickly, jumping from one topic to another comfortably. Rogue found herself hanging onto his every word, and she could tell that he doing the same to her. He was paying attention to her in a way nobody ever had.

There was something different about him now – when he wasn't being purposely infuriating, Remy LeBeau was actually… Nice.

He was clever and witty, actually managing to make her laugh. He used some corny lines on her, some of the same that Pietro had tried – she failed to note that she scoffed playfully at them, instead of reacting with annoyance like she usually would. They seemed more fitted to Remy than Pietro somehow.

In astonishment, Rogue actually found herself more at ease with the Cajun. He had a way about him, something that drew her in. That in itself was a miracle, since she hadn't been this open with anybody since… Well, ever! In such a short time, she had already told him much more than most people knew about her, and something told her that Remy could say the same. He seemed very guarded and secretive, although at the moment he was anything but.

Comments about Southern cooking led them onto the topics of their pasts down South, and Remy divulged how he was adopted into the New Orleans Thieves Guild. For some reason, him being a thief didn't bother her a bit. She was a thief in her own right, after all… A stealer of souls. In return for his own tales, Rogue told him about her own childhood, about being adopted, used, and betrayed. They had similar stories, really… It was nice, finding someone that had experienced comparable events, they could relate to what you went through.

Things had taken a serious turn, so they switched back to discussing random things. She learned that he liked summer best out of all the seasons (because he could lounge around on the bayou), he hated fog (for some mysterious reason that was entirely unknown to him), and that his favourite feeling was the rush after a successful heist. She shared that she liked spring (because the flowers began to bloom, reminding her of the wildflowers on the banks of the Mississippi), she loved thunderstorms (she would go sit out in the garden to watch them), and that her favourite feeling was the grass between her bare toes.

They weren't important revelations, but they still worked towards revealing little bits of their personalities, and forging a tentative understanding between the two. Rogue marvelled at the fact that she shared such intimate parts of her life with him. It just seemed natural to open up to him like that. Her gut feeling told her that she could confide in him, and she always trusted her instincts – if she couldn't trust herself, then who else was there?

The afternoon flew by quickly as they chatted amiably, but it would have to come to a close eventually. Glancing at her watch, Rogue noted how much time had passed.

"We've been here fo' hours, Cajun! Ah gotta get back to th' Institute," she told him, trying to ignore the pang of disappointment she felt course through her. It wasn't because she was leaving _him_, it was simply because of the lively conversation… Uh huh, that was it.

"Y' sure, _chère_?" he pouted, trying to get her to stay. When she stood, he then asked, "Well, how 'bout anot'er date den?"

"_Another_?" came her incredulous shout. "This was _not_ a date!" It wasn't, it couldn't be, she had a boyfriend!

"Okay, whatever y' say," Remy teased, and she shot him a glare. He must have picked up on its fierceness, because he then amended his tone. "Well, okay den, if y' say it's not a date, den it's not a date. How 'bout anot'er _meetin'_ den?"

Just a "meeting" – that would be okay, right? It wasn't a date, there was no harm in it. It wouldn't be considered cheating… No, of course it wouldn't, because then Rogue would be feeling guilty, which she wasn't. It would simply be two people having a nice time talking to each other, that's all this was! But of course, she couldn't let Remy win that easily.

"Why should Ah say yes?" she replied with a smirk. "All we did was sit in th' park, that don't really impress a gal, swamp rat."

"Hey, give a guy a break, _chère_!" he protested with a laugh. "'S not like I had time t' plan any'tin' mo' excitin', but y' gotta gimme some credit – dere were no gimmicks or anyt'in', just me an' m' charm…"

"Hmm, yah probably could've used a few gimmicks," she teased him, with her hands on her hips.

"Aww, come on, Roguey, y' had a good time, _non_?"

She ignored the cutesy nickname and just shrugged vaguely, knowing he would be able to see through it anyway.

"I'll take dat as a '_oui'_," he grinned, standing up to join her. "How 'bout we talk again t'morrow?" the Cajun then suggested, taking one of her hands and placing a gentle kiss on the back of it.

She gazed at her hand in his in confusion. It was odd, but in some bizarre way, the action reminded her of Pietro – not because he was the one that always kissed her hand, but because it now seemed so ill suited to him. What Remy just did seemed so natural, so right, that she could now look back at Pietro's motions and find them flawed somehow…

No, that was silly. Still, it perplexed Rogue, and made her think of Pietro once more. Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea…

Remy seemed to notice her discomfort, and eased his offer. "Tell y' what, Rogue. T'morrow afternoon, I may jus' _happen_ t' be in here in de park," he informed her in an overly innocent tone, stressing certain words and winking when he said them. "Wouldn' it be a _coincidence _if we ran int' each ot'er again?"

She snickered, getting the message. She was thankful he had put it that way – yes, this was nothing serious, and it would continue to stay that way. A 'chance' get together with him wouldn't hurt. After all, Remy was _almost_ a friend. She was allowed to have friends, her boyfriend didn't control her!

"Gosh, that _would_ be quite a coincidence, wouldn't it?" she pretended to ponder, already having made up her mind. Rogue gave him a small wave and turned to leave. "Maybe Ah'll see yah 'round some time, Cajun."

Before she could go, Remy shot forward and placed something in her palm. "_À bientôt _(see you soon), _chère_," he murmured huskily, fixing her with his smouldering gaze. Something stirred within her in response, but before she could discern what it was, he walked away, his tan trench coat billowing behind him.

She watched him depart before turning her attention to what he had given her. A Queen of Hearts playing card? What did that mean? She shook her head in exasperation, but now it was of the playful variety. Sticking the card in her pocket, Rogue walked off, unaware of the extra bounce in her step.

- X -

By the time Rogue finally returned to her room, it was late. Dinner, a Danger Room session, and being dragged into the rec room to watch a movie with Kurt had filled up her evening. She was exhausted – it had been a long day.

After changing into her pyjamas, she let herself fall down onto the bed, stretching out and staying that way. Very soon, however, she burrowed under the covers. She wanted to fall asleep as quickly as possible, that left less time for her mind to wander, and she didn't want that – there were too many things for it to wonder about right now.

The number one topic, it seemed, was the swamp rat. Rogue still couldn't quite believe what had happened that afternoon, that they had managed to hold a civil conversation… There was definitely something about him, she just didn't know what yet. Unfortunately, her nagging conscience decided to come into play (awfully late, it seemed) and remind her of Pietro. Her boyfriend…

She ignored that pesky little voice. After all, she hadn't done anything wrong. Talking to someone wasn't a crime! There was nothing to worry about, Pietro was her boyfriend, Remy wasn't, and that was fine with her. That was how it would be. But dammit, she was thinking about it again, when she had told herself she wouldn't…

Refusing to give it any more attention, Rogue snuggled up to her pillow and soon drifted off to sleep. It was too bad that she had no control over her subconscious, because that night her dreams were of Remy LeBeau.

* * *

Gee, might Pietro be in some trouble? Bwa ha ha.

Next chapter – What does Kitty think of Rogue meeting Remy once more? Or better yet, what about _Pietro_? It's a pivotal chapter, so believe me, you won't wanna miss it!

Okay, time to beg for reviews. Hate it, like it, love it, want to marry it and have its babies? Let me know!

Toodles,

- ish -


	21. Diary

**Disclaimer:** Aren't you all tired of these by now? The X-Men aren't mine, we all know that, let's move on.

**A/N:** Well, cuz I don't feel like doing school work, here we are, another chapter for your enjoyment!

Star-of-Chaos, demiducky25, PomegranateQueen,EmeraldKatsEye, Speck, Sweety8587, flowerperson, EviltwinAlix,Rogue14, EE's Skysong, Fudgebrowne, enchatedlight, psycho88,perturbedpercy, xpoisonedxangelx, Silver Ink, Ms. Rogue LeBeau, darkstorm5000, SickmindedSucker, skyangle2004, and heartsyhawk – Gosh, what did I ever do to deserve all your reviews? Oh, well, I guess the answer would be writing the fic… Right. Anyhoo, I'm eternally grateful to all of you! And if that isn't enough, well, tough. ;-)

Lonewolf, Freak87, and Tsugath – Your questions will be answered now, or they will be answered eventually! Although eventually is probably more likely. So keep reading. ;-)

Neurotic Temptress – I really hate how the site cuts off over 3 repeated numbers or letters in the reviews – so instead of #666, you've got #6… Huh, somehow that seems less impressive, don't ya think? ;-) But yes, a sign of our world domination, that must be it! Everyone should be screaming and running away in terror right about now, it'll make for good practise later on. Anyhoo, since you demanded it, here it is – you've got such sway over me, feel special! Now would it work the same way if I told _you_ to update? Hmm…

Raven2687 – Technology really sucks sometimes… But don't tell my computer I said that, it might get angry. I'll keep my fingers crossed that your chapters will get recovered soon, cuz I can't wait for more!

missy42 – I know what you mean about the fresh stuff, I was itching to write it too, but the repetition was needed for the sake of the plot, and showing that they still think and feel the same, and all that. But new stuff ahead, yay! And gosh, I think NT and I could use a Pinky… Welcome aboard! Narf, zort, egad!

Dreamcatcher89 – Wow, you are _so_ on the trolley!

Rogue Almighty – As of yet nobody knows that Remy's back in her life, but some people will find out soon…

Calliann – Damn right your rants made me giggle! Yup, Rogue has every right to cheat on Pietro – it can all be summed up in one powerful word: EEEWWWW!

SweetRevenge151 – Glad you're uber into the Cure now! You should go buy the 'Pornography' album, not only because it's good, but because of the sheer amusement you can get from telling people you're going out to buy pornography! ;-) Ooh, I can't believe you found a _Le Café_ Café, I'm jealous. Damn them for stealing my idea… But I feel so special that you went in for the sake of my fic, aww, thanks!

Goddess Evie – Because you say so? Well, since you put it that way… ;-) And argh, stop throwing me off by mentioning a naked Remy! Woah, wait, I'm sorry, what am I thinking? We should _never_ stop thinking of a naked Remy! Mmmm…

Ooh, here it is, the chapter I've been longing to post this _entire_ time… Cue the dramatic music!

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 21 - Diary**

_"Memory… is the diary that we all carry about with us." – Oscar Wilde_

After the morning's team practise in the Danger Room, Rogue was beat. She decided to relax in her room for a while, since she had a few minutes until she had to leave to meet Pietro, like they had agreed yesterday. Reaching for the copy of _Queen of the Damned_ that he had given her, she was about to unwind by reading when something slipped out from between the pages. Leaning over to pick it up, she saw a playing card – the Queen of Hearts. But she had put it in her pocket…

"That's weird," she muttered right as Kitty walked in, a glass of orange juice from breakfast in hand.

"Oh, thanks Rogue, that's, like, nice to hear when you walk into a room," she began sarcastically.

"No, not yah," Rogue explained, and then held up the card. "This."

"What's that?"

"A playing card."

"What's so weird about that?" Kitty questioned, this time in a slightly more apprehensive tone that the Southerner failed to pick up.

"Well, th' card itself isn't weird, but this Queen o' Hearts fell outta th' book Pietro gave meh," Rogue clarified, showing her the one she was describing. Then she picked her pants off the floor from where she had thrown them last night, and took the other one out of her pocket. "An' this card, a Queen o' Hearts too, was… Actually, never mind."

She managed to stop herself in time before blurting out anything about Remy. As much as she loved her dear friend and roommate, Rogue didn't want her squeals alerting the other inhabitants of the mansion that a guy was interested in her! There was already enough tension around because of her dating Pietro, she didn't need any ridiculous rumours about another man.

Unfortunately, Kitty's inquisitiveness had been peaked, and she began digging for the story. "Was what? You were gonna say something, Rogue, what was it? Finish up!" she demanded, in a more worried tone than usual when hounding for gossip.

"It's not important, really. You'd just make a big deal outta nothin'," Rogue tried to dissuade the younger girl.

"Rogue, tell me or I swear, I'll, like, phase you halfway through the wall and force you to listen to Britney Spears," she threatened.

It struck no fear into the heart of the Goth (who was, after all, master of gut-wrenching threats), but it did make her realize that Kitty would pester her incessantly until she got what she wanted. She might as well tell her, and have the possibility of maybe a _little_ quiet time available for her reading.

"Okay, fine! It's just that Ah ran into this guy in th' park yesterday, an' he gave meh th' same card. That's some crazy coincidence, huh?"

Kitty paled. "Who was the guy?"

"Th' same one from th' other day in th' café, remember Ah told yah? Th' one with th' red on black eyes."

The glass fell from Kitty's hands and shattered instantly on the floor.

"Kitty!" exclaimed the Southerner, automatically lifting her feet off the floor to protect them from both cuts and juice. "Gawd, what is it with yah an' breakin' things lately?"

"It was, like, an accident!" the other girl spluttered, dropping down to carefully pick up some of the larger shards. "It just slipped…"

"Well, things seem to be slippin' a lot," Rogue noted, and then something clicked. Narrowing her eyes, she questioned her roommate warily. "Yah know, both times somethin' 'slipped', Ah was talkin' about that same guy. Do yah know him or somethin'?"

The shards fell from her hands, breaking into even smaller pieces. "No! No, of course not!"

She didn't convince Rogue at all. She was such a horrible liar… Her friend was scared about something, but what? "Ah don't think Ah believe yah, Kit."

Shadowcat took a deep, steadying breath, and looked Rogue straight in the eyes. "You know what? I'm just, like, totally nervous about Piotr and I having a training session this evening, that's all," she laughed. "I guess I'm acting silly, huh? Trust me, I don't know anything about your guy. I mean, how could I know him, when you, like, have never met him or heard of him or anything?"

That sounded true enough. Kitty was always acting odd when it came to her crush on the metal man, that must have been the reason for her peculiar behaviour. And besides, knowing her, if she had met Remy then by now Rogue would have heard her prattle on about how attractive he was. Damn, she did it again, she had admitted he was attractive…

"Yeah, Ah guess yah're right," she acknowledged, and then moved to help Kitty gingerly pick up the pieces of glass.

"Will you, like… Tell me about him?" she asked her apprehensively.

"Not much to tell," Rogue shrugged, tossing the shards into the garbage. "He sat at mah table in th' café th' day befo' yesterday, hittin' on meh. He was annoyin' as hell, lemme tell yah. Then in th' park yesterday we met again, an' actually had a civil conversation. His name is Remy, an' as much as it pains meh to admit it, he's actually a pretty nice guy."

"Unbelievable…" gaped Kitty in amazement, staring at her incredulously.

"What, is it so unbelievable that a guy might actually want to talk to meh?" Rogue began to glare.

"No, um, I didn't mean it like that!" she denied, shaken out of her awe-induced stupor and searching for an explanation. "Well, it's just, um, I dunno, it's _you_! You always push people away, it just seems strange that you let someone get so close to you again."

"Again?" the Southerner repeated suspiciously.

"Oh, um, I mean, like, after Pietro," Kitty quickly clarified, trying to hide a wince.

"Right, Pietro…" Rogue echoed worriedly, thinking of him once more.

Looking concerned, her roommate swiftly changed the subject. "Forget about him for a second, and tell me about Remy! What did you talk about? Details, details!"

"Ugh, fine," came a grunt of exasperation. "Well, at first he was tellin' meh all this crap about wantin' to get to know meh. Ah didn't really buy it at first, but then in the park… Ah dunno, Ah guess we clicked. We started talkin' about mah book, an' then it just went on from there… We've got a lot in common, it's kinda nice."

The perky brunette just gawked, for once, speechless. Finally she managed to whisper, "Woah."

Rogue just shrugged, trying to play it all off with cool indifference. "Uh, sure Kit, whatever yah say."

"You'll, like, see him again, right?" she demanded intensely, almost as if not even giving her a choice in the matter. Lord, the girl was more wacky than usual – she was acting like Remy was the Second Coming or something.

"Dunno," came the lie. "He's nice to talk to. Ah guess if Ah see him around, we might chat."

"That's great!" she exclaimed, much to Rogue's curiosity.

"Oh really? An' why might that be?"

"Oh, um… I guess I'm glad you made a new friend!" she blinked, and continued. "And a guy, too-"

"Stop right there, Kit," Rogue ordered firmly. She should've known, this was an attempt for her to push Pietro out of the picture... "Ah've got a boyfriend, so don't even think about it."

"Fine," she quickly agreed, knowing not to go against her friend's no-nonsense tone of voice.

"An' speakin' of Pietro, Ah'm headin' out to meet him now. Do yah want some help cleanin' that up before Ah go?"

"Oh, no, it's fine," Kitty assured her. "My mess, I'll clean it up. You go."

"All right, Ah'll see yah later." Rogue bade her goodbye on her way out of the room, with crunching sounds coming from underneath her boots as she stepped on the glass.

- X -

After her roommate had left, Kitty let out her frustration and panic with a scream that had been building ever since Rogue had shown her the Queen of Hearts. She had wanted Rogue and Remy to both be happy, preferably with each other, but this turn of events… It was unbelievable! Impossible! Inconceivable! Well, certainly improbable… What was going to happen? What did this mean? What could she do? She had no idea. Suddenly, she realized that she had to tell the Professor – maybe he would know!

Running down the hallways and literally through anyone and anything that got in her way, Kitty phased her way into her mentor's office – he was on the phone, and she clearly startled him. Raising a finger, Charles Xavier indicated that he would finish momentarily. As she bounced around with impatience, she listened to his side of the telephone conversation.

"Yes, I'm afraid I did… No, but… But… Yes, I know it was wrong… But they didn't leave me much choice," he spoke sorrowfully. "Just please inform those who knew of their relationship to not mention it… Yes, that's right…"

Kitty wondered who he was talking to – judging by his words, most likely a member of Remy's family. She could hear a female voice coming through the receiver even from where she was standing, so she had to assume that the Professor's wince came from the woman's tongue-lashing.

"Yes, I am terribly sorry, more than you can know… No, unfortunately there is nothing I can do now," he continued in a flustered manner, cringing at the harsh words he must have been enduring. "Again, I am so very sorry, but I had to inform you of what happened… Yes, I know… Goodbye, Ms. Baptiste."

Xavier hung up the phone and let out a sigh that sounded both sad about the situation yet relieved that he had survived his conversation. "My apologies, I was simply phoning Mr. LeBeau's family to… Kitty! What is the matter?" he questioned worriedly, as he took in her frenzied countenance.

"They met!" she blurted out, nervously wringing her hands while pacing back and forth, unable to keep still.

"Who?" asked Xavier, raising an eyebrow in interest.

"Rogue and Remy!" she told him, watching his face be overcome with shock. "They met! Again! God, what are the chances of that?" she wondered, rambling on. "Running into each other just, like, one day after he erased her!"

"Indeed," mused the Professor, eyes widening, with his fingers steepled in front of him. "This is a rather bizarre turn of events…"

"No, it's great!" Kitty realized, stopping in her tracks and squealing. "They have a second chance, they can get back together! I mean, that like, has to be the reason they met once more, what other explanation could there be? And it's so similar to the first time around, it's like it's happening all over… Which means, like, they can fall for each other again!"

"Kitty…" murmured Charles.

"That's, like, so totally romantic!" she gushed wistfully, not hearing him. "And this time there's no reason for Remy to leave, so it won't end awfully, so, like, it'll _have_ to work out for them…"

"Kitty!" interrupted the old man, more firmly this time. "I don't mean to disappoint you, but I doubt if it will be that simple. Things are different now, there are other factors in play here."

"But so far things have been happening in the same way!"

"Yes, but it more than likely won't continue. For instance, Mr. Maximoff is in the picture."

The girl's optimism faded instantly, and she scowled. "Right… Dammit! He doesn't deserve her… He's just trying to be like Remy, that's who Rogue should _really_ be with!"

"You may be right, but that is not for you to decide," he told her gently. "You must not interfere with them. It is Rogue's life, and she must make her own decisions based on what she knows and feels."

"But they, like, _belong_ together!" Kitty cried. "And they don't know it because of _you_!" When she uttered those words, her hand flew to her mouth in shock. "Oh… Oh, Professor, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean…"

Charles Xavier closed his eyes and bowed his head. "It's all right. I know I am at fault. I was not left much choice, but I know now that I should have done things differently. I should have found another way."

"I wish they both had," the young mutant sighed. "I just want them to be happy, and they were happiest together."

The Professor nodded sadly. "I think everybody realizes that, Kitty, but now Rogue and Remy must be the ones to realize it for themselves."

"Okay," she murmured, deflated. He was right and she knew it, but it was disappointing that she couldn't help. Leaving his office slowly, Kitty wished with all her heart that it would happen… For both their sakes. Unfortunately, there was nothing she would be able to do about it. It was in Fate's hands now. But if it could happen once, it could happen again… Right?

- X -

On the back porch of the Brotherhood Boarding House, Rogue and Pietro were sitting and talking together. Well, Pietro was the one talking, while Rogue was lost in her thoughts, keeping one ear open to nod and smile at the appropriate times.

As soon as she saw her boyfriend, her confusion had returned in full-force. But why? He'd been nothing but sweet to her, buying her gifts, spending time with her, making her laugh, and even attempting to help her control her powers. He was all she could ever ask for. She should have been happy. So why did she still feel that nagging emptiness? Wasn't your significant other supposed to fill that gaping hole inside of you? Instead, Rogue felt as if it was growing deeper and deeper, with her falling into it and nothing she could do to stop it.

With a start, she realized that maybe there was something someone _else_ could do. When she had been chatting with Remy that void was gone… But why him? The possible answers to that question made Rogue feel even worse, and only served to confound her more. It felt like she was betraying Pietro, and yet she still didn't feel as guilty as she thought she would. Or should.

It was obvious that her boyfriend (why did it seem so strange to call him that all of a sudden?) thought the world of her, that he even _loved_ her, and here she was, debating over her feelings for him! This would have been so much simpler if she could just love him back, but something was stopping her, and she wasn't sure what.

She was broken out of her contemplations by Pietro shaking her shoulder.

"Rogue! Roguey! Are you okay?" he asked her in concern. "You spaced out for the past few minutes. What, did you find something more interesting than me?" he then smirked.

She ignored his comment and decided to be straightforward, bluntly asking, "Do yah think we're good fo' each other?"

Rogue saw his eyes widen in surprise at her question, and she waited impatiently for his reply. He always said the perfect things, so much so that it was uncanny. She just wished he would be able to give her the perfect answer again, and reassure her that this was right, that _they_ were right!

"Of course we are," Pietro assured her confidently. "We're alike in some ways and different in others, so we balance out! We've both had screwed up family lives with mutant terrorists for parents… You push people away, I draw them in… Um, you're pessimistic, I'm optimistic… And of course, the obvious thing is that we're both mutants, with you absorbing energy and me having tons to burn. We're the same so we can relate to each other, and then we're different so we can make up for what we lack! If that's not good for each other, I don't know what is."

She slowly nodded, taking in his words. He was right, they really did seem to balance out…

"And hey, even our eyes!" he continued. "Green and blue, they compliment each other too! We're the perfect match, Roguey."

His words made her freeze, and suddenly, his previous comments rang false. Green and blue weren't complimentary colours – the complimentary colour to green was red… Red. And white was complimented by black. Green and white, red and black…

"You know what?" Rogue blurted out, abruptly standing up and walking down the steps. "Ah've gotta go, there's some stuff Ah need to do. Ah'll see yah later."

Without noticing his puzzled expression or waiting to hear his confused words, she turned and hurried off, heading towards the park. She hoped Remy was there already, she needed to see him… Could he possibly help her sort out this muddle of emotions she was feeling?

- X -

Rogue had left so suddenly, and Pietro had absolutely no clue as to what had happened. Was it something he said? No, it couldn't be. He was saying all the right things, everything he was supposed to, he was sure of it. But then why weren't his words working? It didn't seem like he was getting anywhere at all with her!

Their relationship had been progressing well, growing slowly but steadily. She was slightly more comfortable around him, even if she didn't really open up all that much… But over the past few days she had been acting strangely, more cut off than usual – what could it be? Things weren't happening like he expected. It was probably her powers, they always depressed her… But Pietro knew he could help her with that. After all, if Remy could do it, than so could he!

Grabbing his bag from beside him on the porch, he stood up and headed towards the café. He knew Rogue would most likely go there or to the park – but her turning to coffee for comfort was always the safest bet. Well, either way, he would find her. Newly determined to discover what to do and say to comfort his girlfriend, Pietro sped off.

- X -

Walking briskly into the park, the first person Rogue saw was Remy, coolly leaning against a tree. Relieved, she gave him a small smile and walked over.

"Well, Rogue, fancy meetin' y' here," he greeted her, his voice sounding a little too innocent.

"Yeah, what a coincidence," she snickered, rolling her eyes. She already felt better…

An instant later, that all changed. A gust of wind blew by her, and suddenly Pietro had Remy pinned to the tree.

"Leaveheralone!" he commanded, his piercing blue eyes meeting Remy's smouldering red on black ones.

"Woah, easy dere, Quicksilver," Remy drawled, raising his hands in a non-threatening gesture. Him referring to Pietro by his codename startled Rogue – they knew each other? Oh no. What was going on here, what had she started? "Y' actin' like a jealous boyfriend or somet'in'."

"I _am_ her boyfriend," Pietro seethed, and Rogue noticed a flicker of disappointment flash onto Remy's face before it once again became a cool mask of indifference.

"That's no reason fo' yah to act like a jackass!" she interjected, placing a hand on his shoulders. She had _known_ he'd be jealous, she shouldn't have come here… "Let him go, we were just talkin'."

"Dat's right," corroborated the Cajun. "Dere's nothin' to worry 'bout."

"I can't believe you're defending him, after what he did!" Pietro exclaimed, looking at her in astonishment, and then turning to Remy. "And you! I can't believe you came back, after the shit you put her through! You're not getting her back, she's with me now!"

"Pietro, Ah think yah must be mistakin' him fo' someone else, cause Ah have no idea what yah're talkin' about," she told him slowly.

"_Oui_, y're not makin' any sense," Gambit agreed, his baffled expression mirroring Rogue's.

Comprehension dawned on Pietro's features, and he slowly removed his hands from where he was grasping Remy's trench coat. "You don't know her?" he asked cautiously.

"Not really, I just ran int' de _fille_ two days ago," explained the annoyed Cajun, straightening his coat. "Ain't a crime t' talk t' her, is it?"

"Look, just stay away from my girl, got it, Gambit?" the silver-haired boy snapped, reaching out to shove his rival.

Before he could be touched, Remy grabbed the boy's hand tightly around the wrist. "Don' appreciate de attitude, _homme_," he growled.

Before Rogue knew it, Pietro had wrenched his arm free and thrown a punch at Remy, and their verbal sparring had escalated into a full-blown fight. Quicksilver was fast, but his opponent had amazing reflexes and advanced skills, so they were evenly matched.

Pietro aimed a hit at Remy's face, but he dodged it and kicked the speedster's knee, knocking him to the ground. He was up in a flash and had the Cajun in a headlock, who then retaliated by hooking his leg around the back of his adversary's, flipping him over and onto his back.

Rogue groaned in aggravation – there were being so stupid, so typically _male_! Yet at the same time, something deep inside of her was secretly pleased, flattered that two guys were fighting over _her_… But she had to put a stop to it.

"Boys, give it a rest!" she shouted as they circled each other, stepping into the fray and grabbing Pietro's backpack, which still hung on his shoulders. She tugged at it with all her might in an attempt to drag him away – instead, the zipper pulled open and the bag slipped off him, landing on top of Rogue as she fell to the ground.

Wincing and rubbing her now sore backside, she didn't notice that Pietro had stopped attacking Remy and was now looking at her, absolutely terrified. When she began to look up, her gaze stopped at his bag – or more specifically, what was _in_ his bag. The bag that he was so overprotective of, the bag that he never let her touch. Now she could see why.

There were papers inside covered with writing. Normally, that wouldn't have caught Rogue's attention, but she recognized the writing instantly. It was her own… Grabbing a sheet, she scanned it quickly – it was from her journal, dated only a few months ago. But she hadn't written this! She couldn't have. Not only did she not remember it, but Remy was mentioned, his name was written down right there… How could she have written about Remy when they had just met?

Digging through the other contents in horror, she saw that there were more and more entries, some sketches, even trinkets and pieces of jewellery… It had to be some sort of hoax. It couldn't be real, she told herself as her mind reeled, but then her heart dropped into her stomach when she saw it. Irrefutable proof – but of _what_, she wasn't quite sure.

There was a photograph. One of her and Remy. She was sitting on his lap, he had his arms around her… They looked so happy. But it had never happened. She didn't remember it happening! It wasn't real, it couldn't be! Oh Gawd, she couldn't breathe…

"What… What is this?" she rasped, looking up at Pietro. He couldn't meet her stare, looking away guiltily. She then turned her head towards Remy, who had moved behind her. Did he have something to do with this? He was looking over her shoulder at the picture with as much bewilderment etched on his face as she was feeling.

Nobody answered, so she raised her voice, sounding hysterical. "Well? Somebody tell meh what kinda sick joke this is!" she roared, glaring at both of them.

"Rogue," Pietro quietly began, walking towards her with a hand extended. "I can explain…"

"Don't touch meh!" she screamed, jumping back and away from his reach. No, she couldn't take this, she didn't understand… She wasn't sure she even _wanted _to understand! She just had to get away from here, from them. "Ah… Ah have to go," Rogue blurted out, seizing the backpack and running off, leaving Quicksilver and Gambit staring helplessly after her.

- X -

Much like Pietro had caught him off guard earlier, now Remy grabbed him and flung him against the tree, satisfied as his head contacted with the wood. Clutching the boy's shirt in his hands, he spat out, "Y' _better_ explain, _homme_! Where de hell did dat picture come from? How de fuck is it possible f'r us t' be in it when we just met?!"

"Fuck off, Gambit," Pietro sneered. "This is between me and Rogue."

Narrowing his haunting eyes, Remy glared at the insolent prick, and slowly charged up his shirt. "_Non_, I don' t'ink it is. Talk, an' y' better do it fast," he ordered quietly, but it couldn't have sounded more dangerous if he had shouted at top volume.

The younger mutant kept his mouth shut stubbornly, but then began to feel the heat of Gambit's power. "Fine!" he hollered angrily. "This is all your fault anyways! She was _your_ girlfriend, and then you left her, you brought this all upon yourself!"

Remy blinked, hearing the words, taking them in, but not having them register. "What are y' talkin' 'bout? I t'ink I would've remembered meetin' a _femme_ like dat befo'."

"No, you wouldn't," Pietro laughed cruelly, clearing enjoying Gambit's dumbfoundment. "You two erased each other from your memories."

"_Excusez-moi_?" he exclaimed, sure he must have been hearing things. No, that was insane. _Dieu_, it sounded like some sort of science-fiction story… It was unreal. But he could tell that the _bâtard_ wasn't lying, and he had seen the picture so…

"You heard me," came the reply, coupled with an infuriating smirk. "You left Rogue, and hurt her so much that she had you erased. Looks like you finally came back and found out, and had her erased too. Pretty funny, if you think about it."

Remy pulled the boy towards himself and then slammed him back against the tree. Hard. "Gee, mebbe I got a weird sense o' humour, but I don' find dat funny!" he bellowed. "How did it happen? When?"

"I don't know."

He smashed him against the trunk yet again. "Ow! Jeez, I really don't know, I didn't even know you did it! But about three days ago you saw me and Rogue together, so I'd say you probably found out and had the memories wiped after that."

Three days ago? Did that mean he had met her again right after he had erased her? "Who did it? How?" Remy continued to grill Pietro.

"I don't know, probably Xavier, he's the one that did it to Rogue! But how the hell should I know, I wasn't there!"

"Oh please, I know y' had somet'in' t' do wit' all dis!"

"Nope!" Pietro told him with a malicious smile. "You did it all on your own, you've got no one else to blame for your mess."

"Well, what were y' doin' wit' her t'ings?" he persisted with his interrogation, increasing the charge on the shirt even further, enjoying seeing the boy sweat.

He grimaced in pain and began to talk faster. "When she erased you, I thought I'd finally have a chance with her. She got rid of all the things that reminded her of you, and I stole them from the Institute's garbage," he admitted without a hint of remorse. "I read her diary – she wrote everything about you down, so I did and said exactly what you had, trying to win her over."

Remy gaped, looking at him in revulsion. How could he possibly be so cruel, how could he play with Rogue's emotions like that? Uncharging the shirt, he took pleasure in the look of relief on Pietro's face before he wiped it off with a hard punch to his nose.

Dropping to his knees, the speedy mutant swore in pain, lifting his hand to his face only to find blood there. Before he could do anything else, the Cajun kicked him swiftly in the gut, flipping him over onto his back. Gambit then placed a knee firmly on his chest, pinning him in place.

"You don't deserve her," Pietro grunted gleefully, hurt but still enjoying taunting Remy as much as he could.

His eyes narrowed as he replied, "Mebbe not, but y' don't eit'er."

"Fuck you!" he spat out. "I wouldn't have hurt her like you did!"

"_Non_? Den what de hell did you t'ink all dis would do t' her?" Remy then gripped Quicksilver's collar, hauling him up closer to his face. "Just stay away from _my _girl, got it?" he whispered fiercely, demon eyes glowing, before hitting Pietro firmly in the jaw and knocking him unconscious.

* * *

Ooh! Now who saw _that_ coming?! I sure didn't! Well, no, I lied. Stupid Pietro. Shall we all tar and feather him, and run him out of town on a rail? I think so. But I must say, I quite enjoyed Xavier's flustered telephone conversation – he was talking to _Tante_ Mattie, if anybody didn't catch it – Baptiste is her last name. I just _had_ to work her in, I love her to pieces!

Next chapter – Rogue and Remy both know what happened, but what will happen now?

Well, there's only a little more left to go – I've got it all written out already, so the faster you all review, the faster I can respond and post the next chapter! So review – now!

Toodles,

- ish -


	22. Repeat

**Disclaimer:** Sorry, Remy stole the disclaimer, and I didn't have the heart to stop him.

**A/N:** Ugh, so I managed to finally find time to post this… Sorry, it would've been sooner, but things have been hectic, but now I'm back to good ol' procrastination! Anyways, it seems like everybody loved Remy's last line, the "stay away from _my_ girl" bit. I'm glad, do you know how satisfying it was to _finally_ write that?!

Star-of-Chaos, PomegranateQueen, Raven2687,demiducky25, Sweety8587, mollymo, Zen Apprentice, TheRealMai,heartsyhawk, loneraven, Leishy, IvyZoe, flowerperson,darkstorm5000, Ms.Rogue LeBeau, TheDreamerLady, xpoisonedxangelx,Tsugath, EviltwinAlix, Sairalind Silimaur, SickmindedSucker,Rogue14, GuardianAlexio, lonewolf44, texasgrrl, RgGOTH,4Rogue, gaea 3, fallen-angel999, Eliza, me, Katatonia,keebler-elmo, enchantedlight, rage-girl-05, Dreamcatcher89,Tirya King, Quing, KittyCat918, and MidniteAngelGoth – I've got a plethora of Post-It Notes sitting in front of me, how about some of those? Special ishandahalf thank-you Post-Its, you just can't lose!

Alisia – I'm guessing from your email that you're Polish – me too! Well, Polish-Canadian. ;-) Don't worry about your English not being very good, it was fine – and much better than I could write in Polish, which is just horrible!

UncannyAsianGirl – A seagull? Oh, brilliant! I've never liked them much, it probably stems from when I was a kid and a seagull swooped down and stole a goldfish cracker _right out of my hand_. Traumatizing, let me tell you. I prefer pigeons, I love those cooing sounds they make. Hah, I do know that Dell commercial, it makes me laugh.

Goddess Evie – Hmm, I think you should let me take over the job of Rogue's stunt double, cuz you seem to be quite good at being Remy's cheerleader… And wow, thanks for that _lovely_ image… Careful, my drool might short-circuit the keyboard, and then where would we all be?

missy42 – Hey, I loved "the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"! Especially Carlton dancing to Tom Jones. But moving on, great cheese song! Funny, cuz I actually heard a song the other day called "Addicted to Cheese", by an actual band, complete with music video and such – yup, that's the kind of culture this great country of mine produces… ;-)

Freak87 – Why yes, Logan can now impart some justice… Bwa ha ha!

Calliann – Wow, my chapter was better than a Pharmacology reading? YAY! ;-)

SweetRevenge151 – Yes, yes, post your story, I can't wait! And ooh, a sequel to OMSitS? Huzzah! It took me a while to figure out what that stood for, I'm _horrible_ with acronyms – I was all, "OMSits? What the hell is that?". I'm so silly… I think my sister's been influencing me too much, she insists on never using short forms or abbreviations – it's particularly amusing when she takes so long to say things like 'video cassette recorder' instead of simply VCR… Anyhoo, have fun buying Pornography! ;-)

Eileen Blazer – Now why would I want to drive you to madness? Aren't you already there? Hah, I feel your pain about the memory of the missing review – that happened to me in middle school. The librarian kept harassing me about this book that I apparently didn't return, but I had a _perfect_ memory of bringing it back and placing it on the cart! So she kept bugging me, and I kept telling her that _she_ must've lost it, but then at the end of the year I found the book at the bottom of my locker. _Weird_.

Okay, you don't want any more distractions, do you? Let's just get on with the fic!

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 22 – Repeat**

_"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it." – George Santayana_

Standing up off the unconscious Pietro, Remy quickly jogged in the direction that Rogue had taken off in. She probably ran to the Institute, he deduced, so that's where he would go too – he had to talk to her about this revelation…

His mind was racing. His girlfriend… She was his girlfriend. Or at least, she _had_ been. That would take some getting used to, he had never had an official girlfriend before… But in a way he still never had, because he couldn't remember her! This whole thing was just insane…

Slowly, however, it began to make sense of some things. He had woken up three days ago feeling so off – was that because of his memory loss? Was that why he had mysteriously found himself in bed with all his clothes on? Was that why he couldn't find any cigarettes? Was that why he couldn't remember the last occasion he had been with a _femme_? Because he had been with another one the whole time, only one… Remy hadn't thought that would ever happen.

They had been together, and he knew nothing of it. Neither did she… How had it happened? Why did Rogue erase him? Why did he erase Rogue? Remy had seen the picture she was looking at – they looked so happy, so content in each other's arms. Even in a photograph, he could see the love between them – it shone through so strongly that it was practically a tangible thing. Something bad must have happened to break that love apart, but what?

It was probably something he had done. After all, she had wiped him from her mind first, there had to have been a reason for that. It must have been horrible, because the other thing Remy had noticed in that picture of them was that they were touching. Skin to skin. His forehead was pressed against hers, her bare hands were wrapped around his neck, his own hands were around her waist, right where a sliver of skin between her shirt and pants was exposed… Since Rogue couldn't touch now, Remy had to assume that her control was erased along with her memories of him. What had he done to make her go to such lengths? He wasn't sure he wanted to know… But then, a part of him did. He wanted to know so he could make it up to her, and not do it again.

Wait. Again? Did he really want to repeat it all?

She had been consuming his thoughts ever since he had seen her in the café, he had to admit that – he felt so comfortable around her, she was luring him in somehow… There had been something about her, something he couldn't quite put his finger on, but now he had a very good idea as to what it could be. A part of him must have recognized her, and it told him not to let her pass him by. He knew he should listen. After all, if he couldn't trust himself, then whom could he trust?

It had to mean something, them meeting again after what happened. Maybe their love was given another chance?

Love. He felt strange at the mention of that word. Remy had never felt love before… Well, apparently he had, but he couldn't remember it so… _Merde_, this was confusing! He _had_ loved her, that much was obvious. Maybe that love still existed between them? Could they rekindle it? The even bigger question was, did he want to? Would _they_ want to?

The thought of venturing forward into such territory terrified him, he who ran even _before_ the first signs of commitment appeared! But he just couldn't walk away now, or else he would regret it, he knew he would. Remy had to find out where this would take him. He would just take things one step at a time, playing it by ear, seeing what would happen… So off he went, resolute to determine what his course of action would be.

Reaching the Xavier estate, Gambit climbed the wall around the perimeter and ran across the lawn. He found himself under a row of balconies, but which one was Rogue's? It was time for some trial and error.

He hoisted himself up to the first one and peered in through the glass doors. There were posters of cars and bikini babes on the walls, so he highly doubted that would be her room. Leaping to the next one over, Remy peeked in – no, that one probably wasn't it, it seemed much too girly.

Before he could move on, his thief's senses picked up somebody behind him, but it was too late to react. He found himself spun around and pinned to the wall with two sharp blades on either side of his neck, and a third pressing into his throat.

"What the hell are ya doin' here, bub?" the short man now in front of him growled, murderous rage swirling around in his dark eyes. "I want answers, and I want 'em fast."

"Easy, _M'sieu_ Wolverine, dis Cajun means no harm," Remy tried to answer politely, which was hard when he was also attempting to keep his throat from moving too much, lest it be cut. "'M just here t' see someone."

"Oh really? Just stoppin' in for tea?" he shot back sarcastically, raising an eyebrow. "Who with?"

"I need t' talk t' Rogue," was his honest answer, which was also apparently the wrong one, judging by the reaction it received.

"What?" questioned Logan, quietly and dangerously, while pushing him even harder against the bricks. "Oh, you have _got_ to be kiddin' me. How the fuck do you even know 'er? You're not supposed to remember!"

"I don't."

He blinked. "You're also not supposed to even know what I'm talkin' about! How the hell do you?!"

"I ran int' Rogue at de café two days ago, we talked," Remy explained quickly, not pegging the creature in front of him as the patient type. "We met up t'day, an' Quicksilver saw us. He told me dat we had each ot'er erased."

"Un-fuckin'-believable," Wolverine groaned, shaking his head. He then eyed his catch suspiciously. "Wait, why the hell would he tell you? He's _dating_ her now." He spat out the word 'dating' like it was a crime against humanity.

"Cause I beat de crap outta him," he told the older man, which appeared to raise the thief's standing in his eyes. But only slightly. "Turns out dat he stole Rogue's t'ings, an' was winnin' her over by doin' everyt'ing I did."

"WHAT?!" bellowed the feral mutant, expression furious, veins bulging out of his neck. Remy didn't answer – he had a feeling that if he spoke right now then he would be gutted, so he just let the man seethe. "Fuck, I _knew_ there was somethin' fishy about that little shit! Where is he? I should go tear him a new one!"

"Pro'ly still in de park where I left him," he shrugged as well as he could given his position.

"Good. He needs to be taught a lesson not to mess with Stripes," Logan grinned evilly with a far-off look in his eyes, finally retracting his claws. Then he came back to reality and noticed that the Cajun was still there, so one hand kept him shoved up against the wall. "And you deserve one too, Gumbo."

Remy scowled at the nickname, but then the rest of the words sunk in and he quickly frowned. "I really hurt her, didn' I?"

"You have no idea," came a snarl.

Gambit shut his eyes and sighed desolately at the confirmation. The thought of her in pain hurt him too. "'M sorry."

"I'm not the one you should be apologizin' to."

"Y're right. Mind lettin' me go so I can go find her?" he asked hopefully.

"Does she know?" Wolverine queried with a worried look.

"Not everyt'in'. She's pro'ly confused right now," he imagined. "Mebbe I can calm her down, an' we can make some sense o' dis."

"What exactly are ya plannin', Cajun?"

"'M plannin' t' go tell her what I know, an' be dere for her," he replied. It was the least he could do, he thought, staring the older man down. He wasn't going to back off just because some over-grown mutt was threatening him.

"You stickin' around, then?"

"'M not goin' anywhere. Dere's somet'in' about dat fille… Don' t'ink I could leave her even if I wanted t'," Remy realized, startled that it all seemed rather obvious now.

Logan stared right back, contemplating his words. With a strenuous growl, almost as if he was fighting with himself not to stab the boy, he finally removed his hand and nodded. "Fine."

"Really?" he commented, surprised. This seemed a bit too easy.

And it was. Wolverine's fist came sailing at his head, punching him in the jaw. He slid down the wall, groaning in pain when he tried to talk. "Damn, what was dat f'r?"

"That was for hurtin' her last time, and a warning if it happens again," Logan grunted. "You're lucky that's all yer gettin', kid. You have no idea how much I wanna slice you up, but what matters to me more is Rogue's happiness. You better _pray_ you can make her smile like she used to, or else you and my claws'll be gettin' _real_ friendly, if you know what I mean."

"_Bien_," nodded Remy as he stood up, his anger for the punch fading rapidly. He deserved it, he was sure – he was just glad that they appeared to have some sort of tentative agreement. He could help her through this. They could help each other through this, he would be good for her, he just knew it.

Before the animalistic mutant in front of him stepped back, however, he still had some final words. "But a word of advice, bub. I wasn't your biggest fan the first time around. This time'll be worse."

He gazed back unwaveringly. Animals could sense fear, he knew, but he wasn't feeling any. Well, not from Wolverine's intimidation, anyway – what Rogue would have to say was a different story. "I won' hurt her dis time."

"You _better_ not, Cajun," Logan stated firmly, popping out his claws a hair's breadth in front of Remy's face for emphasis. "If you ever hurt her again, I'll track you down, and the only thing that'll be wiped that time is your blood off the floor, got it?"

Remy couldn't help but gulp – the man was deathly serious. But it didn't matter, he wouldn't hurt her – he wouldn't let himself, he promised. "Got it."

Seemingly satisfied, the feral retracted the adamantium, stepped back, and prepared to jump off the balcony. Before he did, he said in a gruff voice, "As much as I hate to admit it, you made her happy before, LeBeau. Hope you can do it again."

"I hope so too."

"And if anyone asks, I kicked yer ass. Don't even _think_ of tellin' anyone I went soft."

Soft? That punch sure hadn't been soft… But Remy didn't comment on that. "I won't," he simply agreed. He didn't have a death wish, after all.

With a nod, Logan jumped down onto the lawn, leaving Remy to his search. As he mounted the railing in preparation for moving to the next balcony, Wolverine's voice called back out to him, startling him to the point of nearly falling.

"It's the fourth room down, Gumbo!"

When the words sunk in, he grinned, and saluted. The short man just scowled and shouted back, "Don't make me regret it, kid, or you'll be endin' up like the speed demon's about to be! And it ain't gonna be pretty."

- X -

Rogue had run non-stop from the park back to her room, her mind racing even faster than her feet. Slamming her door shut, she threw the bag onto her bed, but couldn't look at it quite yet. Instead, she paced quickly back and forth, wringing her hands, wondering what the hell was going on.

'Okay, calm yerself down, gal. Deep breaths,' she told herself, but it was easier said than done.

She had just seen evidence of events she could no longer remember. Or did they ever really happen in the first place? Was this all some sort of cruel joke? Was she being played and used like she had been countless times before? She wasn't sure she could handle knowing, but she had to find out.

Slowly sitting down on the bed, Rogue tentatively pulled the bag towards her as if it would hurt her. But knowing what was inside of it, it probably would.

Reaching her hand in, she pulled out a random sheet of paper. It was a charcoal sketch of Remy, looking as handsome as ever – the stark contrast of the black medium emphasized the sharp angles of his face. And there, in the corner, was her signature and a date. It was her work, all right. But how was it possible?

Putting it down, she once again stuck her hand into the bag. This time she withdrew one of her journal entries. Rogue was terrified, but desperate to get to the bottom of this, so apprehensively she began to read it. From what she could gather, it was recounting the first time Remy had talked to her, in the café. As she read on, however, instead of it clearing up her questions, it only created more.

That meeting, the things he had said… It sounded identical to their meeting just a few days ago. How could that be? Had Remy known? Was he doing everything over again, was he playing her like she had originally thought? No, then why had he looked so baffled? And why did Pietro have all these things? None of this made any sense whatsoever!

Rogue tossed the entry aside. She couldn't read any more, she was too afraid of what she might find out. She didn't want to know any of it, what was the point? It was like none of it had ever happened, why torture herself about it? But it would torture her anyway…

Searching through the contents, she pulled out the picture of her and Remy she had seen in the park, and simply stared at it. She looked so happy. Rogue couldn't remember ever being that carefree. Not to mention, she was touching. Skin on skin contact, the proof was held right there in her hands. So what had happened? Why did she have no memory of these things? Was it an accident, some form of amnesia? What else could it be?

Rogue sat on the edge of her bed, completely overwhelmed, unable to tear her gaze away from the photo. A tear slid down her cheek – it was all so bewildering… It dripped on to the picture, and when she wiped it away, she made out a tiny detail she hadn't noticed before. She was wearing a necklace in the picture – the same one she was wearing now, with the rose pendant that Pietro had given her. But… Then why did she have it on then?

She was so lost that she didn't notice when Kitty phased through the door, holding a picture frame in her hand. She didn't respond when the younger girl excitedly ranted about how she finally got her photo of Piotr developed. She didn't reply when her roommate finally saw her crying and asked what was wrong. Rogue was only jolted back to awareness when Kitty leaned over to look at the picture in her hands, and dropped her frame on the floor.

"Oh my God!" she shrieked, eyes wide with panic. "Rogue, like, where did you get that? What's going on?!"

"Ah was hopin' someone could tell meh that," Rogue responded quietly, much calmer than she actually felt. "What is this, Kit? Is it even real?"

"Oh, God… I-it is," she confirmed weakly. "You just don't remember."

"Well, obviously!" came the indignant outburst. "But why th' hell don't Ah?!"

Kitty took a deep breath and meekly began to explain. "Um, you, like, had Remy erased from your memories."

"What?" gasped Rogue. "Yah've gotta be kiddin' meh."

Her answer was a simple shake of the other girl's head.

"But… But how? An' why? Gawd, this doesn't make any sense!"

"Well… He was one of Magneto's Acolytes. You two met in battle, and then he like, started following you around or something. You kept saying you hated him, but he eventually won you over, and you two started dating. You were together for over a year."

As she took in her friend's words, Rogue couldn't believe it. Over a year? She couldn't remember such a huge part of her life? "Then what happened?" she asked with trepidation.

"…He like, had to leave," Shadowcat told her with a pained expression. "You were so hurt, Rogue. You were a wreck, you even started cutting yourself… So then you went to the Professor and had him erase all your memories of Remy. He didn't want to, but I don't think you left him much of a choice – you could've really hurt yourself…"

She numbly took in the information – she believed her friend, she wouldn't lie about something like this, but it all sounded so bizarre. Okay. She had to take this in slowly… So she had dated Remy LeBeau for over a year. Then she had erased him. That was one piece of this insane puzzle, but it seemed like so many more were still missing.

"Yah kept this from meh…" Rogue rasped out, standing up to looking up at Kitty, feeling hurt. "All of yah… Yah just lied to meh?"

"Oh, Rogue, I'm so sorry!" she wailed. "But we like, had no choice! I mean, you erased him, you didn't _want_ to remember! And you seemed better, so we didn't want to, like, make you all depressed again! It was awful to see you like that."

She sighed heavily. The girl had a point, she was the one who had decided she didn't want to know about him any more… It stung, that this time she was betrayed by those she considered her family, and had no one to blame but herself. But…

"What about Remy?" Did he know about all this? Was he trying to win her back again, or was he toying with her? Rogue desperately wanted to believe that he wasn't, but she didn't quite know what to think anymore.

"I t'ink I'd like some answers too, _chère_," came a masculine voice from behind her, and both girls turned with a start to the balcony doors, where Remy had just entered.

He looked straight at Rogue, all his attention focused on her, but she couldn't meet his gaze. It was so awkward, she didn't know how to react to him at the moment.

"Remy?" exclaimed Kitty in shock. "Oh my God, like how do you both know all this? What happened?"

"Quicksilver told me," he said simply.

"Pietro? But why would he?" she queried, joining the other two in their puzzlement.

"Cause Ah found mah things," Rogue spoke up quietly, trying to keep herself together. Her sanity was being stretched to the breaking point, she felt like she was about to shatter into a million pieces... "Why did he have them?"

"Huh? What are you, like, talking about?"

She gestured to the bag beside her, and Kitty gingerly stepped over the broken glass on the floor and looked inside. "Like, what is all this?"

"That's what Ah wanna know!" the Goth unexpectedly raged, turning towards the Cajun. "Did yah have somethin' to do with all this? Was Ah right, were yah playin' meh from th' beginnin'?!"

"_Non_, _chère_, I told y' de truth de whole time!" he denied adamantly.

"Bullshit!"

"'S not, Rogue. Apparently, I had y' erased too," he revealed.

"…What?" she breathed in harshly.

"I didn' know, I swear. Quicksilver said dat I saw y' an' him toget'er when I came back f'r y', an' dat I had y' erased. When I met y' in de café, I didn' know y', I wasn't playin' y'."

"Holy shit," was all Rogue could articulate, her legs giving out, making her abruptly sit down on the bed. "No way…"

"It's true," Kitty confirmed, wincing as she drew the attention of the two Southerners towards her. "I'm sure it's, like, hard to take in, but you both erased each other. But what I, like, don't know, is why Pietro had all Rogue's stuff."

"Dat _fils de putain_ (son of a bitch) told me dat he stole Rogue's t'ings so he could win her over wit' what I did," Remy answered angrily, walking around the bed to get Rogue to look at him.

"What?!" cried both girls simultaneously.

"That stupid bastard!" Kitty began to rant. "Ooh, I _knew_ I was right for not liking him!"

Rogue let the new piece of information sink in, and turned to her friend. "Did you know?" she asked with dread.

"What?"

"Did yah know that he was manipulatin' meh?" Rogue elaborated, unsure of who and what to trust anymore. How could this have happened? Why was she always the one being betrayed, why did she always choose to put her faith in the people that hurt her?

"No, like, of course not!" denied the petite brunette. "I think some of us were suspicious, but we didn't know that he stole your things! Believe me, if we did, we would've done something about it!"

The Goth started rubbing circles on her temples with her hands. This was all just too much… Yet more duplicity to add to her list. Pietro had been lying to her all along, using Remy's words and actions to get her to fall for him… So did that mean that she had really been falling for Remy that whole time, since technically he would comfort her and made her feel better? It made her feel less guilty about why she thought about him so much ever since their first meeting, but at the same time, it only perplexed her more.

Instead of emptiness, Rogue was now filled with all sorts of warring emotions, and was uncertain of everything. "Gawd, this is just crazy," she muttered, burying her face in her hands and letting a few more tears leak out.

"Uh, maybe you two should go talk to the Professor," suggested Kitty. "He might be able to explain some more and-"

"No!" Rogue cut her off, shaking her head. "Ah think Ah need to figure out what Ah'm thinkin' now before he tells meh what Ah was thinkin'… So not just yet… Maybe… Aw, hell, Ah don't know what to do."

She knew Remy had knelt down beside her, both from the glass crunching as he walked over and by the warm, comforting hand he placed on her knee. When she managed to summon the strength to look up at him, she found herself staring straight into those gorgeous eyes of his, and they were filled with understanding.

"I don' know eit'er,_chère_," he whispered. "But I know how y're feelin', cause I feel de same t'ing. I'll be here f'r y' if y' let me."

Rogue gave a small smile at the words that magically managed to give her slight comfort, but she would have to turn him down. This was something she needed to work out on her own. Nobody else could help her with what she was thinking and feeling.

"Thanks, Remy," she mumbled, using his name for the first time. "But Ah think Ah need to be alone to digest all this."

"Y' sure?"

"Yeah. An' Ah really mean it this time," she joked feebly.

He gave a small laugh, and they both knew it was forced. "Oh, so y' didn' mean it de ot'er times? I knew y' wanted t' spend time wit' me," smirked the Cajun in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Somehow, despite the seriousness and lunacy of the situation, Remy managed to make her blush again, and Rogue ducked her head down until her cheeks stopped burning. When she gazed back at him, he surprised her once more – reaching his hand towards her, he carefully wiped a lingering tear off her face. He wasn't wearing gloves. And he didn't flinch. Pietro always had, even when he had gloves on…

"Don' cry, _chère_," Remy murmured. "I don' like seein' y' upset. It'll be okay, we'll figure dis out, henh? We'll just take some time, an' den we can talk about it all, henh?"

She nodded wordlessly, and he smiled gently at her. "_Bien_," he stated, and slowly rose. "I'll see y' soon, Rogue."

After he exited the way he came in, Kitty walked back over to Rogue from where she had been standing by the wall, trying to give the two some privacy. Placing a hand on her friend's shoulder, she tenderly asked, "Are you gonna be okay, Rogue?"

"Yeah, Kit, Ah think so," she replied, in a tone much stronger than she really felt. "Ah just need to let it all sink in…"

"Of course. I'll just, like, clean up the mess I made and leave you alone."

"Sure. Thanks," Rogue muttered, watching her friend leave their room.

When she did, she hurriedly stuffed everything into the backpack once more, unable to stand looking at any of it – but then she paused. Ripping the rose pendant off her neck, she tossed that in as well, and threw the bag onto the floor. Flopping down on her bed, Rogue just stared at the ceiling, allowing herself to get lost in her jumble of thoughts and emotions.

- X -

Kitty walked back to her room, a dustpan in hand, and her mind going a mile a minute. She had wanted Rogue and Remy back together, she had wanted them to have repeat chance for their relationship, but she hadn't wished for all this upset! She only hoped it wouldn't lead them to make the wrong choice…

Walking through the door, the young girl felt her heart ache upon seeing Rogue looking so conflicted. She wished she could help, but the Professor had been right – her best friend would have to realize things on her own.

Not wanting to disturb her, she set about sweeping up the shards of broken glass as quietly as possible. When she turned and was about to leave, Rogue's voice halted her.

"Kit…" she began uncertainly.

"Yeah?"

"Ah need to know… Ah was happier with him, right?"

"Well, um, I can't really say," Kitty answered unsurely. "I mean, I'm not you. All I know is what I saw."

Then a thought popped into her mind. Maybe that could help, it was a way for Rogue to see herself, to see what it they had been like… "Hey, Rogue, maybe you could, like, absorb me if you wanted – that way you could see my memories of you and Remy together…" she proposed tentatively, knowing her friend was touchy about the subject of her powers. She didn't particularly like the prospect of being knocked out, but if it would aid her in sorting things out then she'd do it in an instant.

Rogue looked at her carefully, weighing the proposition, but then shook her head. "No… Thanks fo' offerin', Kit, but Ah don't think that'll help. Like yah said, it'd be only what you saw… Ah wouldn't be gettin' th' whole story. It'd pro'ly just confuse meh more."

"Oh, right," Kitty sighed.

"Look, that doesn't matter," she insisted. "Just tell meh that one thing – do yah think Ah was happier with him?"

She somehow knew Rogue was referring to Remy, and she wanted so badly to just burst out and tell her how much he had changed her, and how much more she had smiled and laughed with him… But Kitty forced herself to repress her matchmaking tendencies – Rogue's feelings were the ones that mattered here, not hers.

"He made you smile more. And Pietro didn't make you blush," was all she said, and then left the room praying she would be able to come to the correct decision.

* * *

Poor confused Rogue… Poor confused Remy… Poor beaten Pietro… Hah, hell no! Let's all laugh at him instead.

Next chapter – It'll be the last one, folks! What will happen to Rogue and Remy's relationship? Will they decide to give it another go? Will Remy run away from the commitment? Will Rogue push him away in fear? Who knows! Well, I do, but aside from me... Just tune in next time to find out, in the dramatic finale to 'Loved and Lost, or Never at All?'!!

So that means you better review! After all, your chances to do so are rapidly running out! Shower me with reviews, and perhaps I'll post the next chapter up sooner…

Toodles,

- ish -


	23. Blessed

**Disclaimer:** Well, to keep with the theme of repetition, I guess I'll say it again – I don't own the X-Men!

**A/N:** Here we are, the beginning of the end…

Star-of-Chaos, Raven2687, PomegranateQueen,Sweety8587, loneraven, EviltwinAlix, xpoisonedxangelx,Dreamcatcher89, Lightspeed Suzuka, Rogue14, darkstorm5000,ThoseRainyDays, heartsyhawk, CajunBelle, PsychRomyChica,Lady Xiu Mei Phoenix, rage-girl-05, SickmindedSucker, perturbedpercy,EE's Skysong, skyangle2004, The Blood Runs, keebler-elmo,TheRealMai, Totally Obsessed47, siren, and xmengirlzrule – Hugs and kisses for all! Or, if you don't swing that way, I guess I can get Remy to fill in… Yum.

wildcardrose, flowerperson, TheDreamerLady, and Tsugath – I think the confrontation between Logan and Pietro will be a lot more satisfying if left to the imagination… Oh, just think of all the fun pain you can inflict! Bwa ha ha.

missy42 – Oh, cheese… Now that you mentioned it, I want some. The quotes are from some website I found, I just searched for ones about memory and used those that would go best with the chapter. They make me sound smarter!

Goddess Evie – Drool protector? Yes, that would do the trick! Wish I had one of those a long time ago though… You know, you almost convinced me to continue with the fic. _Almost_. Sadly, I'm following the movie's plot, sorry! Blame Charlie Kaufman.

Freak87 – The Prof doesn't have their actual memories, since they were totally wiped. All he has is his own memories of their memories, so that'd be pretty weird, transferring his recollections of them back into their heads – it's similar to what Kitty offered, it would only be from his point of view, you know?

Speck – Rhyming would've been fun (always is), but commenting on all the chapters is still appreciated! I feel loved.

SweetRevenge151 – Hmm, a preview for my birthday does sound like a great gift… November 2nd, I'll be waiting! ;-) I heard about that Cure special too – I checked out some footage on the web, since I don't get MTV. You didn't know they were British? You have much to learn, grasshopper. They're the pride of Crawley – not that it means anything to me, I have no idea where that is, other than _somewhere_ in England. Speaking of the fabulous English, I'm off to see our favourite dinner jacket-clad chap on Tuesday… Squeal!

Katatonia – LAL,ONAA? Hah, that amuses me. Doesn't make for a very good acronym, does it? But yeah, liking to it is fine!

Sophie – Ahh, I feel the pain of essay writing, I've got one to do this weekend. Of course, my breaks for reading fics will most likely reverse the situation, and then I'll be writing the essay as breaks between the reading… It's a vicious cycle. Stupid procrastination.

Eileen Blazer – The book thing happened to you too? Woah! Clearly, it's some sort of conspiracy by evil book-snatching gnomes, those little buggers. Oh, so Remy was erased from your memories? You have my deepest sympathies. Wow, you'd brave an erupting volcano for me? That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

demiducky25 – Hey, your slowness is okay, it happens to the best of us. One day I finally noticed that my living room walls were painted pink – turns out they had been like that for 5 years. Heh… Anyhoo, you really should see the movie, it's fabulous.

Calliann – Wow, you think my fic is better than the movie? That's high praise, at least from my point of view, since I absolutely loved the film – I bought it the day it came out, I'm obsessive! And by 'bought', I mean I made my mom pay for it. I love that pouty, scruffy puppy look Jim Carrey does. Aww…

Don't let me distract you with some pointless comments, read on!

* * *

**Loved and Lost, or Never At All?**

**Chapter 23 – Blessed**

_"Blessed are the forgetful for they get the better even of their blunders." – Friedrich Nietzsche_

Rogue hadn't been able to sleep at all. How could she, when her mind had kept her awake trying to take in everything she had learned? All that she had found out, in the short span of less than an hour, had turned her life upside down.

Maybe that was exaggerating a bit. It wasn't the end of the world, after all. But dammit, it was overwhelming, not to mention bizarre beyond belief, to suddenly be informed that you had loved somebody once and had them erased! So as far as Rogue was concerned, she felt she had the right – hell, even the expectation – to be dramatic.

All her debating had kept her tossing and turning restlessly in the dark, waiting for sleep that just wouldn't come. She had wanted to get some rest and think about everything in the morning, with a clear head and fresh new perspective, but that hadn't happened. Instead, she had stared at the blank ceiling for hours, contemplating and analyzing what she did or didn't feel, and assessing what actions she should or shouldn't take.

She had yet to come to a conclusion. She still didn't know what to do.

Rogue kept thinking about what she had with Pietro – or more specifically, what she _thought _she had had. Now she knew that there hadn't been anything at all. That hadn't been real, it was just another betrayal to add to the list. 'Yah'd think Ah'd be used to 'em by now,' she laughed bitterly to herself. She knew that they weren't Pietro's actions, they were Remy's, but she couldn't stop comparing them. However, there was really no comparison to be made, was there? Because it had always been Remy. Pietro didn't factor in here.

Okay, so that was one thing the girl knew for certain – she wanted nothing to do with Quicksilver. Except maybe to break his jaw... But that could come later. She was afraid of what she might rashly do if she saw him, so at the moment, she was hoping to avoid him for as long as possible. The real issue was what to do about Remy – he was the source of all her questions and uncertainty.

Apparently, she had loved him. Even though Kitty hadn't explicitly told her so, Rogue could tell from the photograph of them together. It was as clear as day, it shone through in their smiles, it lit up their eyes. But that was in the past, and she couldn't even remember it. It didn't matter now. Right?

She couldn't let that influence her – she didn't want to be with Remy because of what _had_ been! _If_ she wanted to be with him, it should be because of what she felt for him _now_. But the Southerner still wasn't quite sure what exactly that was. Did she only want to be with him because they had been together before? Was it due to that idea being planted in her head? Would she have wanted it regardless of their past being revealed?

This was far too complicated. Hell, she didn't even know if Remy wanted to be with her – if he didn't, she couldn't exactly blame him. He must have been as freaked out as she, learning all this… Granted, he had seemed genuine yesterday, when he asked her if he could help her through it, but that probably didn't mean what Rogue wanted it to. Or at least, what she _thought_ she wanted it to… Damn, why couldn't she just sort out all her jumbled feelings?

She had thought that the Professor might be able to shed some light on a few things, which was why she skipped the morning Danger Room session and was currently standing outside his office. She hesitantly raised her hand to knock on the door, but it froze in midair. Did she really want to do that?

She wasn't quite sure how she felt about him right now. Logically, she knew she couldn't blame him – she had been the one to initiate the procedure, but still, she couldn't help but feel some resentment towards Xavier. It seemed like it all caused so much trouble. But then again, she couldn't judge that, could she? She had no idea what things would have been like if they hadn't worked out this way.

Shaking her head violently, Rogue pushed those thoughts out of her head. She couldn't change the past and she couldn't predict any alternate futures – all that mattered was the present, and presently she had some decisions to make. Ones that had to be made on her own – Xavier telling her what she was like before wouldn't, and shouldn't, matter… So the girl turned on her heel, and walked away down the hall. She could see him after she had figured everything out.

She supposed that the best thing to do would be to go and see Remy – maybe having him there, right in front of her, would help her realize what it was she felt. She hoped. It had better… So the Goth ran out of the mansion. It was easy to leave unnoticed, everybody was in the sub-levels training, which she was thankful for. She wanted to avoid them all, especially Kitty. As kind and supportive as the girl was being, she would only want to know what Rogue had decided, and she had no answer for that. She had no answers for anybody, which was why she was grateful that she didn't run into any of the Institute's inhabitants – what would she say to them, now knowing that they had been perpetrating a charade to her for months?

She desperately needed some caffeine in her system, maybe that would help her think. But deep down, there was another reason she began to head for _Le Café_ Café – Remy would be there as well. How she knew was just another thing she couldn't explain…

Rogue walked into the establishment, heading straight for the counter – she would need her coffee to handle this. It was silly that such a trivial thing could help her, she knew that, but she needed all the support she could get. Only after the steaming mug was grasped firmly in her hands did she scan the room, and pick out Remy sitting at her back table. She could see him drumming his fingers anxiously on the tabletop, and her nerves hit her full-force.

Gripping her drink even tighter, she had to fight the urge to turn and run out of the building. No, running away from her problems was what brought her here in the first place, hadn't it? Commanding her feet to move, she started over towards the rear, and sat down in the chair across from the current source of all her confusion.

"_Bonjour, chère_," Remy greeted her with a warm smile, that worked at calming her down some. But not completely.

"Hi," Rogue replied quietly, shooting him a weak smile in return. Only when he turned his head slightly did she notice the dark purple bruise on his jaw. "Oh mah Gawd, Remy, what happened?" she cried out in surprise.

"De Wolverine happened," he winced.

"What? Why?"

"Don' t'ink he was too happy 'bout what I did t' y'."

She hadn't really given much thought to how the others would deal with this whole situation… Great, yet more for her to worry about. "Oh… An' yah're still breathin'?"

"'M here, ain't I?" he commented with a crooked grin.

Yes, he was, and that was odd. The fact that Logan let him go without a vicious pummelling amazed Rogue – that had to mean something, but once again, she was unsure of exactly what. Lifting her gloved hand, she brought it to Remy's face and lightly trailed the bruise with her fingers – he closed his eyes and ever so slightly leaned into her touch, but then she realized what she was doing and abruptly pulled away.

A deafening silence reigned. They both sat there, awkwardly, unsure of what to say. Finally, it was broken by the Cajun.

"_Merde_, dis is weird."

Rogue nodded slowly. "Yah got that right, swamp rat. Ah'm not sure what Ah should say…"

"Well, I know what y' mean. We're in de same boat here."

"So what are we gonna do about it?" she asked him unsurely, and held her breath. Maybe he had an answer to that question, that way she wouldn't have to come up with her own solution… But then why was she so apprehensive with hearing what he would say if she didn't already have one?

"Spent all last night t'inkin' 'bout dat," Remy chuckled, but then to her disappointment, skirted around the issue. "'S pretty funny, us meetin' de day after I erased y', henh?"

"Ah'd call it ironic."

"Actually, I was t'inkin' it might be somet'in' else."

"What?" she queried curiously. What was he getting at? She just wanted to know already!

"Mebbe it was fate," he said seriously.

Rogue blinked. Fate? So was he saying… "What are yah sayin'?"

"'M sayin' dat dere has t' be a reason we met again," he explained fervently. "'M normally not one t' believe in fate, cause I don' like t' t'ink dat we don't have control over what we do, but dis… It's gotta be a sign, Rogue. T'ink we'd be wrong t' ignore it."

"So… What, yah want to give a relationship a try?" she questioned incredulously, as her heart began to beat faster.

"_Oui, chère_, I do… We've been given a second chance, I t'ink we should take it!" Remy exclaimed, his eyes intensely boring into hers.

"What, yah've decided this already?" she faltered. "It's so soon, Ah mean, we just found all this out…"

"I know, an' I don' mean t' rush y' or scare y' off, but I know it's what I want. Don' worry, 's not like 'm not askin' y' t' marry me," he pointed out. "We'll be startin' at de beginnin', takin' it slow, an' we'll see where it leads us, henh?"

Rogue thought her heart would burst out of her chest at any second. He was telling the truth, she could feel it – it was obvious by staring into those dark pools he called eyes. He wanted a relationship with her…

Waiting for her reply must have made him even more nervous, because he grabbed her hand in his as he whispered, "Please, _chère_, give _me_ a second chance. I know I probably ruined t'ings before, even though 'm not sure how, but lemme try again!"

His comments prompted the Southern girl's defeatist attitude to take hold, and doubts pervaded her thoughts. "How can we make this work, Remy?" she asked dubiously. "We don't even know how we wrecked it before, how can we stop it from happenin' again?"

"Well, mebbe we can!" Remy realized. "We could always ask y' friend Kitty, or de Professor what happened last time…"

That would help, but… What if it didn't? She frowned. She was afraid of what she might find out, she admitted. If it was enough for her to erase him before, what would it cause her to do now? "Ah dunno… Ah'm not really sure Ah even _wanna_ know. It must've been bad, Ah don't wanna blame yah fo' somethin' we can't remember…"

"Dat's fine, _chère_, we don' have t'. Eit'er way, 'm willin' t' try," he replied bluntly.

"But why? Ah mean, we must've been hurt so badly to erase each other," Rogue pointed out dismally. "What if we're just settin' ourselves up fo' more pain?"

"Hey, we don't know if dat'll be what happens again!" the Cajun denied. "B'sides, I t'ink we'd be good f'r each ot'er."

"Yeah?"

"_Oui_. We compliment each ot'er in some ways, an' den in ot'er ways we're opposites, we balance out," he blurted out anxiously. "We're from de South, we're adopted, we had screwed up family lives… We're both mutants, y' absorb power an' I let it out… Y' keep people away, I draw dem in… 'M optimistic, y're pessimistic… Hell, even our eyes, _chère_, dey're opposites! We're alike in de ways dat we need t' be so we can relate t' each ot'er, an' we're diff'rent in de ways dat we need t' be so dat we can push each ot'er! We're a perfect balance, Rogue, dat _has_ t' mean somet'in'."

She absorbed his words in amazement – she had just heard similar ones spoken just yesterday, but when Remy was the one saying them, she actually believed him. It was all true, everything he had said… But he still didn't know what he was getting in to, she realized fatalistically.

"Remy," she began again, voice unsteady. "Ah don't know what to say…"

"Say yes," he pleaded.

"Ah… We can't," she mumbled, bowing her head and withdrawing her hand from his. "Yah know, yah're actually a nice guy, but there's just too much standin' in th' way."

"Like what?"

"Mah powers-"

"Don' matter t' me," Remy finished for her, leaning across the table and placing a gloved finger underneath her chin, lifting her head up. "I jus' want _you_, _chère_, and yo' powers are a part o' y', I know dat. Dey're not scarin' me away. B'sides, in dat picture we saw, y' had control – y' can do it again, I know it."

Rogue wanted so desperately to believe him… Could she really gain (or _re_gain) control?

He continued quickly, obviously worried, still attempting to convince her. "Rogue, fo'get about de past. Dere's not'in' we can do about dat. Just t'ink about _now_, an' what y' feel. 'M already fallin' f'r y', I have t' admit dat, an' it was startin' even befo' we learned about our past. Dat's gotta mean somet'in', us findin' each ot'er again – we've been blessed wit' anot'er chance, let's not let it go to waste, henh? I don't know what'll happen, dere ain't a guarantee, but dere never is – so why don' we just try again an' see where it goes?"

Rogue looked long and hard at the man sitting across from her, honesty and apprehension written all over his face. He wanted this so badly, he was willing to take this risk. The question was, was she? They had been in love, she knew that much. She also knew that love was the biggest risk of all – would she be able to take the plunge and try it once more?

- X -

As Remy sat there, waiting for Rogue's decision, his heart pounded like never before. He couldn't remember ever being so scared about anything in his life! He didn't care that he sounded pathetic and desperate, he was willing to go through that and put his heart out on the line if it meant she would say yes. It was a gambit, he knew that, but they were his specialty, after all.

The thief had spent all night debating it, almost unbelieving that he was willing to stick around after such a bomb had been dropped. That wasn't like him, he was sure. He should've high-tailed it out of town, but he didn't. He didn't want to, and that had to mean something.

Early this morning, he had gone to the Institute with the intent of discussing things with Xavier. That man would have been able to give him some answers, surely, but right before he was about to climb in through the window, Remy realized that he hadn't wanted any. It would be better to figure this out on his own first. But later, the two men would definitely be having a discussion…

So Remy went to the café – something told him that Rogue would be there, and he was right. Once he saw her walking towards him just now, his mind had been made up instantly. Or maybe it was his heart… Either way, what he had told her was true – he had sensed something special about her before, he had wanted to attempt a relationship previous to them finding out about their erased memories. The fact that he had asked Rogue out on a date should have tipped him off that there was something different about her, that something deeper had been going on – after all, he didn't go on "dates". Or at least, he couldn't remember ever doing so. He must have, with her…

_Merde_, he had to take his own advice and forget about that past. It was gone now, it would do him no good anymore. Although it certainly had helped him already – that revelation had only served to motivate him. He and Rogue had something special once, so they could have it again, he was sure of it.

Now if only she would answer…

Remy knew she was afraid. Hell, he was too – especially since he couldn't tell what she was thinking. His _chère_ was wearing a mask, one that he had thought he could see through, but currently he couldn't for the life of him predict what she would say. His insides clenched when she finally opened her mouth and began to speak.

"Come with meh," Rogue said, getting up from the table.

That wasn't exactly the response he had been looking for… Gambit rose after her anyway, not about to let her get away. He followed her out of the café, opening the door for her, and walked beside her as they went down the street.

No words were spoken between them, and the silence made him even more fearful – why wouldn't she just say something? He longed for a sign, a smile, a nod of reassurance, some little gesture that could give him a clue of what was happening, but there was nothing.

Time seemed to stretch on forever, as it always did when one eagerly awaited something. As Remy strode beside her, their fingers brushed against each other's, and it sent a spark of warmth shooting up through his body. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her hand, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. If Rogue pulled it away, then he would have his answer, and he didn't think he would be able to bear it. No, it was better to just march along and see where she would take him – if her response was a negative one, at least he could have as much time as possible with her. Damn, he didn't want to be thinking like that…

A few minutes later, the pair ended up at the gate of the Xavier Institute. The Cajun looked at his companion questioningly, but she simply punched in her security code and led him inside the grounds.

Instead of walking up the driveway, they cut through the grass. As Rogue led Remy over to her balcony, she finally spoke. "We're gonna go in this way, Ah don't want any questions from anybody just yet, okay?"

"Sure," he nodded, and took hope. Just yet? Did that mean that there would be a later for them?

Climbing up the trellis first, he extended a hand to help haul her up, and then chivalrously opened the door for her. When she walked inside, he heard an accented voice exclaim, "Rogue! Where have you been? You missed ze Danger Room session zis morning, everyone was worried!"

"Sorry, Kurt, Ah had somethin' Ah had to do," she told him, and then Remy then entered the room.

Before he could even react, Kurt launched himself at the Cajun, who once again found himself pinned to the wall.

"What are you doing here?!" the boy growled menacingly. "Why are you with Rogue?!"

"Kurt!" cried Rogue and Kitty simultaneously. "Put him down!"

"Put him down?" he shouted incredulously. "You want to defend him after all he has done to _meine_ _schwester_ (my sister)?"

"Kurt, he like, doesn't remember, remember?" Kitty pointed out as she tried to pull Nightcrawler away from his target.

"It doesn't matter! He shouldn't be anyvhere near her!"

"That's not fo' yah to decide," Rogue stated with a glare at her brother. "So let him go."

He opened his mouth to protest, but another fierce look from the feisty Southerner made him shut it once more. Glancing back towards Gambit, he removed his hands, but his narrowed eyes let Remy know that he was none too happy about it.

"So, I take it y' weren't too fond o' me, henh?" Remy joked lightly in a futile attempt to ease the tension in the room.

The other mutant bared his teeth, which looked much more threatening now that he had turned off his holographic form. "What gave you zat idea? I despise you!"

"That's like, putting it lightly," murmured Shadowcat, rolling her eyes.

"I hate you for what you did to Rogue! You broke her heart, you don't deserve her!" he continued to rant. "You don't deserve a chance to do it again!"

The Cajun frowned. "I don' plan to. I care about her, _homme_, 'm not gonna hurt her."

"Zat's what you said last time, and look what happened! I should teleport you to ze Antarctic and leave you there!"

"Kurt!" scolded Kitty, pulling him back. "This isn't any of your business!"

"Of course it is! I can't let Rogue make ze same mistake again!"

"Maybe it's mah mistake to make!" erupted Rogue in frustration, walking up to Kurt and angrily poking him in the chest. "Look, Ah appreciate yer concern, but this is mah decision, okay? Yah can't tell meh what to do, it's mah life an' mah feelin's, so back off!"

Wide-eyed with fear and shock, he simply nodded, not daring to say a word to incite more of the girl's rage.

"Good," she stated, much calmer. She then made her way over to the bed, picked up Pietro's backpack, and headed back to the balcony doors.

"Where are you going?" Kurt queried protectively, managing to summon the courage to speak up, yet with a healthy measure of trepidation.

"We have some things to sort out," Rogue stated in a tone that left no room for negotiation.

"But-" the elf began, only have a hand firmly clamped over his mouth by Kitty.

"Oh, hush, Kurt!" she reprimanded, and then smiled at the two Southerners. "Go on, you two. You like, totally need to talk."

"Thanks, Kit," Rogue nodded in acknowledgement, and walked outside.

Remy followed her again, both of them stopping at the edge of the balcony – they could hear Kurt begin to seethe inside the room once more.

"Zis is insane! How could zey meet again? Zat isn't supposed to happen!"

"Maybe it is, like, who are we to say?"

"_Nein_ (no), he'll just hurt her again!"

He looked over at Rogue, hoping that she wouldn't be swayed by the boy's opinion, after all he had said to try and persuade her. She gave no indication of even hearing him – she simply vaulted over the railing and landed gracefully on the ground below.

"Yah comin'?" she called up to him, and set off walking across the lawn.

He jumped down after her, still as mystified as ever. "Where y' takin' me, _chère_?"

"Yah'll see," she replied cryptically, as she led him into the trees at the edge of the grounds.

They wove their way through a path, silent once again. Remy normally would have appreciated the scenery around him, with sunlight streaming through the canopy of leaves, but he was too tense. Instead, he focused on the girl in front of him, who in his opinion, was much more beautiful than the surrounding foliage. After a few minutes, they emerged in a grassy clearing, with a picturesque view of the lake below them.

Rogue stood there, looking around, and then finally took a deep breath and spoke. "This is mah thinkin' spot. Ah like to come here to be alone, sometimes…"

"Y' don' have t' be alone anymo', _chère_," he told her before he could assess what he had said, praying that comment wouldn't scare her, thinking he had come on too strong.

She stared at him with those deep green eyes, and simply said, "Ah know."

That didn't completely tell him what he wanted to know, and Remy couldn't take it anymore. "_Chère_? Please, de suspense is killin' me!" he begged.

"Sorry," she mumbled sheepishly, with a ghost of a smile. "Ah… Well…"

Biting her lip, unable to form the words, Rogue instead handed him the backpack with her mementos of him inside. He glanced at her, puzzled – what did this mean?

"Blow it up," was all she said.

"_Pardon_?"

"Use yer powers an' blow it all up," she elaborated.

"Are y' sure?" he enquired, baffled. "Dis is all de memories o' what we had…"

"Well, like yah said, Ah should fo'get about th' past – it doesn't matter anymo'. We can make new memories," Rogue told him, wringing her hands nervously. "Um, if yah want, that is…"

A huge grin broke out on Remy's face, and without needing to be told again, he charged the bag and threw it up in the air. He then stepped towards her and quickly picked her up in a giant hug, to which she shrieked in surprise. The bag exploded and tiny bits of paper and other materials rained down on them, but they hardly noticed – the Cajun had wrapped his arms strongly around her, twirling her around, and was pleased when she relaxed into his embrace.

When he pulled back, he was glad to find an identical grin mirrored on Rogue's face. It made her even more stunning, he thought, as he brushed some scraps from her hair.

"Dat wasn't very nice, y' know, keepin' me guessin' like dat," he teased.

"Ah'm sorry," she apologized, now running a hand through his hair to get the paper out. _Dieu_, that felt nice. "It's just… Well, Ah was scared, Ah guess."

"Me too, _chère_, me too. But dis is new f'r both of us, so we're in it toget'er. Let's just take it one day at a time, 'kay?"

"Okay," Rogue replied softly. "Maybe things'll turn out differently this time around…"

"I t'ink dey will," Remy declared confidently.

"Oh, really? An' what makes yah so sure?"

"Well, t'ings have changed. Dis all didn' happen last time, so dat'll change de outcome, right?"

With a pensive look on her face, Rogue could only respond with, "Ah guess we'll see, won't we?"

"Dat we will. 'M sure we'll have plenty o' people givin' us, uh, _friendly_ hints," he remarked, thinking of all the threats he had received so far, and of the many more he was sure were still to come. Not that they would scare him away, of course.

Her expression turned to one of worry. "Oh shit, Ah wonder what everyone else'll say…"

"Dat don't matter," he squeezed her reassuringly.

"Ah know, but it'll pro'ly freak 'em out…"

"Let it!" he laughed. "It'll be pretty funny, henh?"

Rogue shook her head, tittering. "Ah honestly don't know how Ah managed to put up with yah fo' so long!"

"Must've been love, _chère_," he answered seriously.

She gaze darted up to his eyes, surprised that he had said it. "Must've been," she agreed in a whisper, unable to change the subject with a scathing retort. He was glad she didn't.

"Why don' we find out, den?" Remy smoothly proposed, taking her hand as they began to walk.

"An' what exactly did yah have in mind?"

"Well, I sure wouldn' mind a t'ird date, _chère_. Or a _second_ t'ird date, as de case may be."

"Hey, Ah don't consider th' other two times dates!" Rogue huffed, but all in good humour.

"Den what were dey?" _Merde_, the _femme_ had spirit… She was perfect for him.

"They were just 'meetings', remember?"

"Nah, I just said dat t' make y' mo' comfortable. I always considered dem dates."

"They were _not_ dates!" she insisted, but the smile on her face took away from the irritation she was trying to project.

"Whatever y' say, _chère_," Remy chuckled, leading her out of the clearing. "Whatever y' say. How 'bout we finally have an _official_ one den? What do y' wanna do? Y' up f'r some mo' coffee? Y' didn' finish yo' cup earlier."

"Mmm," she practically purred, forgetting her annoyance, and he did his best to control himself. "Caffeine is always a good idea, sugah."

'Sugah'? That was a nice change from 'swamp rat'… "So de way t' de Rogue's heart is t'rough coffee," Remy mused. "I'll have t' remember dat."

"This time, yah better."

- X -

Watching Rogue and Remy walk hand in hand from the window of his study, Charles Xavier smiled contentedly – it warmed his heart that the two had managed to work things out, overcoming obstacles that he knew were his fault. He was deeply remorseful for his mistake in erasing their memories, and regret had plagued him ever since. But now it felt like part of the heavy weight he carried ever since had been lifted – they were together again, and he marvelled at the fact that it had happened, that they had been able to conquer such uncertainty between them.

He knew that he would have to justify his actions to two understandably upset Southerners when they would eventually come to talk with him, and he accepted that. He only hoped he would be able to… But for now, he allowed himself to take pleasure in their happiness.

Beside him, his old friend did as well. "So they worked things out, eh?" Logan noted, leaning against the wall, an imperceptible smile on his stern face.

The Professor nodded. "It would appear so."

"Good. Let's make sure nobody screws it up this time."

Xavier winced internally, knowing that Wolverine's statement extended to him as well. "I don't think that will happen," he said, swearing to himself that he would never interfere with them again – he had learned his lesson. And hopefully, another person had as well. "Do I want to know what you did to Mr. Maximoff?"

The Canadian shrugged vaguely. "I dragged him to the ER, he won't be movin' for a while."

"Logan…" came the warning tone.

"Hey, he'll live. It's more than the punk deserves."

As much as he didn't agree with the man's method, Charles had to admire Logan's protectiveness – especially when it extended to the young Gothic girl. Deciding to simply acknowledge what the feral mutant had told him and move on, he changed the subject – it was time to wrap up the loose ends. "Logan, would you please gather the other students? It would be best to inform them of this latest development."

"Sure, Chuck," Wolverine grunted, heading out the door.

"Thank you."

Before he headed to what would surely be the last of those meetings, Xavier had one final thing to do. Moving to his desk, he picked up the phone and dialled a number. After three rings, a woman's voice answered.

"'Lo?" greeted a warm, pleasant tone.

"Ms. Baptiste? It's Charles Xavier again," he informed her.

He cringed when her voice turned cold. "Oh, what is it now? Did Remy decide he didn' like my cookin' anymo' an' had m' erased?"

"Actually, I just wanted to inform you not to expect him back in New Orleans any time soon…"

- X -

**_"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." – Alfred, Lord Tennyson_**

_- Fin -_

* * *

Well, there you have it, it's over. I know it's opened-ended, but hey, I'm just following the movie's plot, and frankly, I rather like it – judging from their earlier repetition, it's a pretty good bet that Rogue and Remy will get their relationship back on track, just use your imagination (which is always fun…). I don't know if I'd exactly call it a happy ending – more bittersweet, I suppose. They didn't remember their love, but are starting it over. That's as good as it gets, people, I hope you'll be satisfied with it! Rogue and Remy are together, just like they're meant to be – gosh, should I have been worried that so many of you were wondering if I'd have them work things out? I mean, this is _me_, we're talking about! Romy till bitter end, my friends.

Anyhoo. I hope you enjoyed this fic, because I sure loved writing it. But don't fret, my loyal ishandahalfarianites – more will be on the way eventually. I've got a bunch of plot bunnies gnawing away at my brain, it's just a matter of finding time to put my ideas into words. Look for another fun one-shot or two coming in a month or so (I'll try to get it up after midterms and my impending breakdown), and then another full-fledged fic sometime after that. I'm really excited about that one. Five words: _love triangle with a twist_. Bwa ha ha!

The point is, reviews motivate me, they really do. In one final attempt at guilt tripping you all into writing me some, please tell me how I did in weaving this lovely little yarn! After all, it's the least you all can do, after I gave you pages upon pages of story, right? ;-) But really, I'd love to hear what you thought about it – and my sincerest thanks in advance. Just bring 'em on, quick like a bunny on crack!

Toodles,

- ish -


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